人生不設(shè)限·改變態(tài)度就能改變?nèi)松?

你不必吃藥、看精神科醫(yī)生、上山求道于大師，也可以改變態(tài)度、改變?nèi)松＿@本書一再鼓勵(lì)你要找到人生目標(biāo)，對(duì)未來抱持希望，對(duì)生命的種種可能性有信心，而且要愛自己本來的樣子。這些特質(zhì)讓你有理由樂觀，而樂觀正是調(diào)整態(tài)度的力量來源，就像遙控器的電池。

You can change your attitude and change your life without taking a pill, seeing a shrink, or trekking to a mountaintop to consult a guru. So far in this book I've been encouraging you to find your purpose, to have hope for the future and faith in the possibilities for your life, and to love yourself as you are. Those attributes will give you a strong foundation and reason for optimism, which is the power source for adjusting your attitude, much like the batteries in your television remote control.

你見過有人可以成功、滿足且快樂，同時(shí)又抱持悲觀思想嗎?我是沒有了，那是因?yàn)闃酚^讓人充滿力量，給人控制情緒的能力，而悲觀則會(huì)削弱意志，因而讓心情控制行動(dòng)。擁有樂觀的看法，你就可以調(diào)整態(tài)度，充分利用不好的情況。有時(shí)人們會(huì)把這個(gè)叫作“換框法”(reframing)，意思是當(dāng)你無法改變環(huán)境時(shí)，可以改變看待環(huán)境的方式。

Have you ever known a successful, fulfilled, happy person who is also a pessimist? I haven't. That's because optimism is empowering—it gives you control over your emotions. Pessimism weakens your will and allows your moods to control your actions. With an optimistic outlook, you can adjust your attitude to make the best of bad situations. This is sometimes described as "reframing" because while you can't always change your circumstances, you can change the way you look at them.

一開始，你可能必須有意識(shí)地這么做，但只要練習(xí)一陣子，就會(huì)變成自發(fā)行為。剛展開演講生涯時(shí)，如果碰到班機(jī)取消或轉(zhuǎn)乘其他交通工具不順利，我常常會(huì)發(fā)脾氣，覺得很受挫折。但最后我不得不面對(duì)一個(gè)事實(shí)：像我這種頻繁旅行的人，難免會(huì)碰到一些狀況。另外，我年紀(jì)也大了，不適合老是發(fā)飆，而且生氣時(shí)沒有腳可以跺兩下，實(shí)在不帶勁。

At first, you may have to do this consciously, but once you practice it for a while, it becomes automatic. I am on tour constantly with my caregivers, and in the early days of my speaking career, when a flight was canceled or a connection missed, I had trouble controlling my anger and frustration. Finally I had to face the fact that when you travel as often as we do, there will be problems. Besides, I was getting too old to throw tantrums, and they sort of lose their effectiveness when you can't really stomp your feet.

我必須訓(xùn)練自己擁有在旅程不順時(shí)調(diào)整態(tài)度的能力?，F(xiàn)在，當(dāng)我們被迫在候機(jī)室等上幾小時(shí)，或者必須突然改變行程時(shí)，我會(huì)從正面的角度詮釋那些負(fù)面事件，以避免壓力、挫折或憤怒上身。我會(huì)激發(fā)一些樂觀的想法，例如：“我們的班機(jī)是因?yàn)樘鞖獠缓貌艜?huì)延誤，這樣很好啊，等暴風(fēng)雨過了再登機(jī)不是比較安全嗎?”或者“班機(jī)取消是因?yàn)闄C(jī)械故障，我寧愿在地上等待一架沒有問題的飛機(jī)，也不愿意搭上有狀況的飛機(jī)”。

I had to master the ability to adjust my attitude about travel interruptions. Now when we are forced to sit for hours in airports or need to abruptly change plans, I avoid stress, frustration, and anger by focusing on a positive interpretation of the negative event. I fire up optimistic thoughts such as: Our flight was delayed because of bad weather. That's good, because we'll have a safer trip if we wait out the storm.Or: They canceled our flight because of mechanical problems. I'd rather wait here on the ground for a good plane than be up in the air in a bad one.

當(dāng)然，我還是希望旅途順利，不想有那么多波折，但如果不調(diào)整態(tài)度，我就會(huì)老是想著負(fù)面的事，那樣實(shí)在很不健康。當(dāng)你允許環(huán)境脫離你的控制，去決定你的態(tài)度和行動(dòng)時(shí)，就可能會(huì)掉入一個(gè)不斷向下的旋渦里：草率決定、誤判形勢(shì)、反應(yīng)過度、太早放棄、錯(cuò)失機(jī)會(huì)——錯(cuò)失那些總是在你認(rèn)為人生不可能變好的情況下出現(xiàn)的機(jī)會(huì)。

I'd still rather have a smooth trip than a bumpy one, but the alternative to adjusting my attitude was to dwell on the negative, and that's just not healthy. When you allow circumstances beyond your control to determine your attitude and actions, you risk plunging into a downward spiral of hasty decisions and faulty judgments, to overreacting, giving up too soon, and missing those opportunities that always—always—appear just when you think life will never get better.

悲觀主義和負(fù)面性會(huì)讓你無法超越現(xiàn)況，永無翻身之日。因此，當(dāng)你覺得負(fù)面思維讓你血液沸騰時(shí)，要把它們趕出去，然后用比較正面和激勵(lì)的內(nèi)在對(duì)話來取代。這里有個(gè)負(fù)面思想與正面思想的對(duì)照表，可以幫助你監(jiān)督自己內(nèi)在的聲音。

Pessimism and negativity will ensure that you never rise above your circumstances. When you feel your blood boiling due to negative thoughts, tune them out and replace them with more positive and encouraging inner dialogue. Here are examples of negative versus positive thinking to help you monitor your own inner voices.