NINE Trust Others, More or Less
11歲時,有一次爸爸、媽媽帶我到澳大利亞的黃金海岸。他們沿著海岸走,離開一會兒,我則是在靠近水邊的沙堆里涼快一下,一面看著海浪,一面享受微風。為了不被曬傷,我用一件特大號的T恤蓋住自己。
When I was eleven years old, my parents took me to the beach on Australia's Gold Coast. My mum and dad walked down the coast a bit, and I was just chillin' in the sand near the edge of the water, watching the waves and basking in the breeze. I covered up with an oversize T-shirt so I wouldn't get sunburned.
一位年輕女性走了過來,邊靠近我邊笑著說:“哇,真厲害。”
A young woman came walking along the beach, and as she approached, she smiled and said, "That's quite impressive!"
“你是指?”我問道。我曉得她應該不是在說我碩大的二頭肌。
"What do you mean?" I asked, knowing that she wasn't referring to my huge biceps.
“你把兩條腿埋起來花了多長時間?”她問。
"How long did it take you to bury your legs like that?" she said.
我明白了,原來她以為我把雙腿藏在沙里頭了。我決定惡作劇一下,繼續(xù)演下去。
I realized that she thought I'd hidden my legs in the sand somehow. Feeling mischievous, I played along.
“哦,我可是挖了很久呢。”我說。
"Oh, I had to dig such a long time," I said.
她大笑,然后就走開了,但我知道她一定忍不住要再看一眼,所以我等著看好戲。果然,當她轉(zhuǎn)過頭臨別一瞥時,我馬上彈起來跳向水里。
She laughed and strolled by, but I knew she could not resist a second look so I waited. Sure enough, just as her head swiveled for a parting glance, I popped up and hopped toward the water.
她什么也沒說,不過當她急匆匆地沿著海灘跑走時,踉蹌了一下。
She didn't say anything, though she stumbled a bit as she scurried down the beach.
年紀還小時,這種時刻總會惹毛我,但慢慢地,我對他人有了更多耐心與諒解。就像那位女士一樣,我學到了,有時候人們有的東西比你一開始以為的多,有時則比較少。
Sometimes as a boy I resented such moments, but eventually I came to be more patient and understanding of others. Like that woman, I've learned that sometimes there is more to people than you first suspect, and sometimes there is less.
有識人之明、與人相處、跟人交往、體會他人的感受、知道誰可以信賴,以及如何讓自己值得信賴,這些對成功和快樂都很重要。缺乏與他人在互相了解及信任的基礎上建立關系的能力,卻能夠成功,這樣的人實在很少。我們需要的不只是親密愛人,也需要良師益友、人生典范,以及認同并幫助我們完成夢想的支持者。
The art of reading people, relating to them, engaging with them, and stepping into their shoes, knowing whom to trust and how to be trustworthy is critical to your success and happiness. Few people succeed without the ability to build relationships based on mutual understanding and trust. We all need not just someone to love but also friends, mentors, role models, and supporters who buy into our dreams and help us achieve them.
要建立由最為你著想的支持者所組成的夢幻團隊,你必須先挺他們,來證明你是值得信賴的。你怎么對待你的伙伴,你的伙伴就會怎么待你。如果你支持他們,鼓勵他們,給他們最真誠的回饋,那你可以期待這些人也會如此對你,假如他們做不到,你就該去尋找愿意加入你團隊的人了。
To build your Dream Team of supporters who have your best interests at heart, you must first prove yourself trustworthy by standing up for them. Your mates will treat you the way you treat them. If you invest in their success, support them, encourage them, and give them your honest feedback, you can expect them to do the same for you. If they don't, you should move on and find someone who wants to be on your team.
人天生喜歡與他人交往,但如果有些關系不符合你的期待,那可能是你對于如何與人互動,以及你在這些關系中投入和拿走些什么想得不夠。你最可能犯的錯誤之一是在交朋友時,只談論你自己——談你的恐懼、你的挫敗和讓你開心的事。要贏得別人的友誼,你必須要深入了解他們,尋找共同的興趣,以建立對彼此都有幫助的聯(lián)結(jié)。
We are social by nature, but if your relationships aren't what you'd like them to be, you may not be giving enough thought to how you interact with others and what you put in and take out of your relationships. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to try and win friends only by telling them about yourself: your fears, frustrations, and pleasures. The truth is that you win friends by learning about them and finding shared interests to build bonds that provide mutual benefi ts.
建立人際關系就像建立存款賬戶,如果你什么也沒存進去,怎么能期望從里面領取出東西來!我們必須借此評估并檢視怎樣做才有效,怎樣做沒有用,來時時調(diào)整自己經(jīng)營人際關系的技巧。
Building a relationship is like building a savings account; you can't expect to take anything out of it if you haven't put something into it. We all need to tune up our relationship skills from time to time by evaluating our approach to them and looking at what is working and what is not.