獨(dú)居的報(bào)償

The other day an acquaintance of mine, a gregarious and charming man, told me he had found himself unexpectedly alone in New York for an hour or two between appointments. He went to the Whitney and spent the "empty" time looking at things in solitary bliss. For him it proved to be a shock nearly as great as falling in love to discover that he could enjoy himself so much alone.
前些日子，我的一個(gè)熟人，一位熱愛(ài)交際且富有魅力的男士告訴我，他在紐約的兩個(gè)約會(huì)之間偶然有 一兩個(gè)小時(shí)的空閑，便去了惠特尼博物館，四處瀏覽著展品，無(wú)比幸福的度過(guò)了那些時(shí)光。發(fā)現(xiàn)自已 獨(dú)自一人也能如此的幸福，他感覺(jué)像墜入愛(ài)河那般震驚。

What had he been afraid of, I asked myself? That, suddenly alone, he would discover that he bored himself, or that there was, quite simply, no self there to meet? But having taken the plunge, he is now on the brink of adventure; he is about to be launched into his own inner space to the astronaut. His every perception will come to him with a new freshness and, for a time, seem startlingly original.
“他一直在害怕什么呢？”，我問(wèn)自已。 怕突然一個(gè)人呆著會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)自已厭煩自己，或者怕會(huì)失去自我 ？但是有了這次償試，他便要開(kāi)始探險(xiǎn)了，即將發(fā)射到自已內(nèi)心的宇宙之中。他的所見(jiàn)所感對(duì)他來(lái)說(shuō) 將是全新的，一度會(huì)新穎的讓人驚奇。

For anyone who can see things for himself with a naked eye becomes, for a moment or two, something of a genius. With another human being present vision becomes double vision, inevitably. We are busy wondering, what does my companion see or think of this, and what do I think of it? The original impact gets lost, or diffused.
因此，每個(gè)能用肉眼親自觀看事物的人一時(shí)之間便成為天才。如果身邊有別人，一個(gè)看法便不可避免 地變成雙重看法。我們急于知道周?chē)说目捶?，以及自己的觀點(diǎn)？” 最初的印像消失了，或者變得模 糊不清。

"Music I heard with you was more than music." Exactly. And therefore music itself can only be heard alone. Solitude is the salt of personhood. It brings out the authentic flavor of every experience.
“與你共享的音樂(lè)便不止是音樂(lè)了。” 的確如此。因此，音樂(lè)本身只能獨(dú)自一人聆聽(tīng)。獨(dú)處是人生的 趣味所在，它讓人感受到所有經(jīng)歷的真實(shí)韻味。

"Alone one is never lonely: the spirit adventures, walking in a quiet garden, in a cool house, abiding single there.
獨(dú)居但不孤獨(dú)：精神在不停的探索，徜徉于靜寂的花園中，徘徊在陰涼的房舍里，獨(dú)自在那逗留。

Loneliness is most acutely felt with other people, for with others,even with a lover sometimes, we suffer from our differences of taste, temperament,mood. Human intercourse often demands that we soften the edge of perception, or withdraw at the very instant of personal truth for fear of hurting, or of being inappropriately present, which is to say naked, in a social situation. Alone we can afford to be wholly whatever we are, and to feel whatever we feel absolutely. That is a great luxury!
與別人呆在一起時(shí)孤獨(dú)感更為強(qiáng)烈，因?yàn)榕c他人在一起，即使是戀人，我們也會(huì)被不同的品味，不同 的性格，以及不同的情緒所困擾。人際交往要求我們必須磨掉感知的棱角，在每每涉及個(gè)人私事時(shí)， 我們因?yàn)榕聜e人而避而不談，或者害怕在社交場(chǎng)合不合時(shí)宜,比如過(guò)于暴露自已。而獨(dú)自一人，我 們便可以隨心所欲，感受真正的自我。那真是有些奢侈的享受！

For me the most interesting thing about a solitary life, and mine has been that for the last twenty years, is that it becomes increasingly rewarding. When I can wake up and watch the sun rise over the ocean, as I do most days, and know that I have an entire day ahead, uninterrupted, in which to write a few pages, take a walk with my dog, lie down in the afternoon for a long think (why does one think better in a horizontal position?), read and listen to music, I am flooded with happiness.
我已獨(dú)自生活了二十年。對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)，獨(dú)自生活最大意義在于它變得越來(lái)越有裨益。每當(dāng)早晨醒來(lái)，看 著旭日從海平面上冉冉升起，我知道后面還有整整一天。在這一天里， 我可以不受打擾地寫(xiě)幾頁(yè)書(shū)， 帶著我的狗一起散散步，下午長(zhǎng)時(shí)間地躺著想一些事情（為什么人躺著時(shí)能更好地思考？），讀讀書(shū) ，聽(tīng)聽(tīng)音樂(lè)。想到這些，我便沉浸在幸福之中。

I’m lonely only when I am overtired, when I have worked too long without a break, when from the time being I feel empty and need filling up. And I am lonely sometimes when I come back home after a lecture trip, when I have seen a lot of people and talked a lot, and am full to the brim with experience that needs to be sorted out.
只有在我過(guò)度勞累的時(shí)候，在我長(zhǎng)時(shí)間不斷工作的時(shí)侯，在我感到內(nèi)心空虛，需要充實(shí)的時(shí)候，我才 會(huì)感到寂寞。有時(shí)，外出演講回來(lái)，見(jiàn)了許多人,講了許多話，心中滿(mǎn)是紛亂的體驗(yàn)需要整理，偶而也 會(huì)覺(jué)得孤獨(dú)。

Then for a little while the house feels huge and empty, and I wonder where my self is hiding. It has to be recaptured slowly by watering the plants and perhaps,by looking again at each one as though it were a person.
于是有那么一會(huì)兒，我感到整個(gè)房子非常大，空蕩蕩的。不知此時(shí)的自我又藏匿于何處。這時(shí)，我會(huì) 給花草澆澆水，挨個(gè)瞅瞅，仿佛它們是活生生的人一樣，或是喂喂兩只小貓，親手做頓飯菜，這樣自 我就慢慢地重新找回。

It takes a while, as I watch the surf blowing up in fountains at the end of the field, but the moment comes when the world falls away, and the self emerges again from the deep unconscious, bringing back all I have recently experienced to be explored and slowly understood, when I can converse again with my hidden powers, and so grow, and so be renewed, till death do us part.
田野的盡頭泉水噴涌翻騰，我注視良久?，F(xiàn)實(shí)世界逐漸消退，自我再次從內(nèi)心深處浮現(xiàn)。最近的種種 經(jīng)歷都隨之而來(lái)，以待我可以再次同內(nèi)心潛在力量交流時(shí)慢慢地探究和領(lǐng)會(huì)。這些力量便如此慢慢增 強(qiáng)，不斷獲得新生，直至死神將我們分開(kāi).。