生活大爆炸 第三季:第3集 霍爾德和拉杰去哥特酒吧泡美女(下)
Okay, I know what you're doing.
我知道你在干什么了
Really?
真的嗎
Yes, you're using chocolates as positive reinforcement for what you consider correct behavior.
你在用巧克力做正面教法對你認(rèn)為良好的行為進(jìn)行獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)
Very good.
真聰明
Chocole?
來塊巧克力嗎
No, I don't want any chocolate!
我不想要什么巧克力
Sheldon,
謝爾頓
You can't train my girlfend like a lab rat.
你不能拿我女朋友當(dāng)實(shí)驗(yàn)鼠一樣對待
Actually, it turns out I can.
事實(shí)證明，我可以
well, you shouldn't.
你不應(yīng)該這么做
There's just no pleasing you, is there, Leonard?
萊納德，就是沒法讓你滿意，是吧
You weren't happy with my previous approach to dealing with her,
你不滿意我之前那樣對她
So I decided to employ operant conditioning techniques, building on the works of thorndike and B.F. Skinner.
所以我決定根據(jù)桑代克和B.F.斯金納的理論采取操作性條件反射的辦法
By this time next week,
下周的這個(gè)時(shí)候
I believe I can have her jumping out of a pool, balancing a beach ball on her nose
我相信我能讓她從水池里一躍而出用鼻子平衡塑料氣球
No, this has to stop now.
不行，這一套必須打住
I'm not suggesting we really make her jump out of a pool.
我不是真的建議讓她從水池里跳出來
I thought the "bazinga" was implied.
我以為你該聽出了我的"才怪了"
We're just tweaking her personality. Sanding off the rough edges, if you will.
咱們不過是調(diào)整她個(gè)性，用另一種說法，就是把那些粗糙表面磨磨光
No. You're not sanding Penny.
不行，你不能磨佩妮
Are you saying that I am forbidden From applying a harmless, scientifically valid protocol that will make our lives better?
你是說不許我使用能讓改進(jìn)我們生活的無害的科學(xué)有效的正常手段
Yes. You're forbidden.
是的，我不許
Bad Leonard.
壞萊納德
So, what do you guys do?
那你們倆是做什么的
Oh, you know, goth stuff, goth magazines, goth music.
就是些，哥特東西嘍，哥特雜志嘍，哥特音樂嘍
Goth food.
哥特食品嘍
What's goth food?
什么哥特食品
Uh. Blackened salmon?
呃，黑焦三文魚?
No, I meant what do you do for jobs?
不是，我是問你們的工作
Oh, we're scientists. Yeah, you know, the dark sciences.
我們是科學(xué)家，當(dāng)然，是黑科學(xué)的
What are the dark sciences?
什么是黑科學(xué)
We... Well, I am an astrophysicist, and a lot of that takes place at night.
我們，我是個(gè)天體物理學(xué)家，很多工作都要在晚上進(jìn)行
When there are vampires and miscellaneous undead out and about.
那時(shí)候也有吸血鬼呀，僵尸呀什么的到處亂跑
That sounds really cool.
聽起來很酷啊
Does it? Okay. If you like space stuff, I design components for the international space station, which is in space.
真的嗎，好吧，要是你喜歡宇宙那類的我設(shè)計(jì)國際太空站的部分呢，在太空里
Where, as I'm sure you know, no one can hear you scream.
你肯定知道，那里沒人能聽到你喊叫
So, what do you gals do?
那么，兩位女士是做什么的
I work at the gap.
我在蓋普服裝店
Really? How about that? I've been to the gap. I've been there, as well.
真的，可真有趣，我曾經(jīng)去過蓋普啊。我也去過
I like your t-shirts with the little pocket.
我喜歡你們那種有小口袋的T恤衫
I work the, too. Not that anyone cares.
我也在那兒上班，反正也沒人關(guān)心
You know, this place is boring.
這地方真無聊
Yeah why don't we go somewhere else and have some fun?
可不，咱們?nèi)e的地方開心開心吧
Okay. Sure we like fun. We are fun people.
好啊，當(dāng)然，我們喜歡開心。我們是開心的人
Dark and fun.
又黑暗又開心
Come on. I know a place you'll really dig.
來吧，我知道一個(gè)地方你們肯定喜歡
Did you bring the black condoms? In my fanny pack. Let's go.
你帶來黑色避孕套嗎？就在腰包包里啦。走吧
Are you happy now?
現(xiàn)在高興了
Not particularly
沒有特別高興
My god, she didn't!
天啊，她沒有吧
What could she possibly be talking about for so long?
她究竟在說什么要這么久
Obviously, waitressing at the cheesecake factory Is a complex socioeconomic activity that requires a great deal of analysis and planning.
顯然，在芝士蛋糕廠做招待是個(gè)復(fù)雜的社會(huì)經(jīng)濟(jì)性活動(dòng)而且需要相當(dāng)多的研究與計(jì)劃
"bazinga."
才怪了
You know, using positive reinforcement techniques, I could train that behavior out of her in a week.
知道么，采用正面鼓勵(lì)式方法，我能在一個(gè)星期之內(nèi)讓她改變這個(gè)惡習(xí)
No.
不
If you let me use negative reinforcement, I can get it done before we go to bed.
要是你讓我用負(fù)面鼓勵(lì)法睡覺前我就能做到
You're not squirting her in the face with water.
你不能用水噴她的臉
No, of course not.
當(dāng)然不
We're talking very mild electric shocks.
我說的是十分輕微的電擊法
No tissue damage whatsoever.
連組織損傷都不會(huì)有
Forget it.
別想了
Oh, come on. You can't tell me that you're not intrigued out the possibility of building a better girlfriend.
你不可能告訴我給你打造一個(gè)更好的女朋友讓你一點(diǎn)都不動(dòng)心
I'm not.
我沒有
Well, and Penny's qualities, both good and bad, are what make her who she is.
佩妮的個(gè)性 好的和壞的合成了她這個(gè)人
You mean, like that high-pitched, irritating laugh?
你是說，比如那個(gè)讓人無法忍受的尖笑聲
You wouldn't prefer a throaty chuckle?
你就不想希望一個(gè)低嗓門的笑聲嗎
You're not changing how Penny laughs.
不許你改變佩妮的笑聲
No, that would be incongruous.
那才是荒誕呢
I was going to lower the whole voice to a more pleasing register.
我打算把她的聲音整體降低到一個(gè)令人愉快的音區(qū)
Ugh. Sorry, guys.
對不起啦，伙計(jì)
That girl is freaky.
那丫頭是個(gè)怪物
Come again?
再說一遍
Freaky.
怪物
Freaky?
怪物
Yeah, freaky.
怪物
Have a chocolate.
吃塊巧克力吧
Thank you.
謝謝
Are you seriously going to damage your body just for the possibility you could have cheap sex with a strange girl you met in a bar?
你真打算破壞你的身體，就為了有可能吊上一個(gè)在酒吧里遇到的馬子?
Yeah!
當(dāng)然
What is your mother going to say?
你媽媽會(huì)怎么說
She's not going to see it.
她根本看不到那里
She takes my temperature orally now.
她現(xiàn)在量我體溫都是放嘴里的
What are you going to get, Howard?
霍華德，你打算要什么樣的
Well, I can't really decide between a screaming devil, this mean little skull, Or kermit the frog.
我不知道該選尖叫魔鬼，駭人小頭骨或是青蛙柯米特
Kermit the frog? You know.
青蛙柯米特
Hi-ho. I'm on Howard's butt.
你好，我在霍華德的屁股上
Get the mean little skull,
刺個(gè)駭人小頭骨
And I'll see if I can make him smile.
我會(huì)讓它笑起來
Yeah, I'd like the mean little skull, please.
請給我刺一個(gè)駭人小頭骨
What are you going to get, Raj?
你要什么，拉杰
With my luck, hepatitis.
像我這種運(yùn)氣，肝炎差不多
Okay, here we go.
好了，我們開始
That's just rubbing alcohol.
只擦了點(diǎn)酒精棉花
I know, but it was cold.
我知道，但涼涼的
I'm putting on the stencil.
我在放圖案
What comes after the stencil
放完后怎么做
Okay, that's it. No needle. No pain. No tattoo.
夠了，到此為止。不刺針，不痛苦，不紋身
What's the big deal? You've done this before.
小事一樁而已，你又不是沒紋過
No, I haven't. Look.
我沒紋過，看
I'm sorry. I'm a fraud.
抱歉，我騙了你們
He's a fraud. We're both frauds.
他是個(gè)騙子，我們都說謊了
Yeah, I think I covered that. But I was summing up.
我不是已經(jīng)說過了嗎。我是在總結(jié)
We're not Goth. We're just...guys.
我們不是哥特，我們只是普通人
Very, very smart guys.
非常，非常聰明的人
So you were totally scamming us?
那你們一直在騙人
Yes.
是的
And I wouldn't blame you if you walked out of here and never wanted to see us again.
要是你想離開再也不想見到我們，我也不會(huì)怪你
Unless, of course,our bold honesty has suddenly made us attractive
除非，這突如其來的坦率給我們增添了無限魅力
Huh? Huh? Anything?
怎么樣
I'm leaving.
我要走了
I'm leaving, too. Not that anyone cares.
我也要走了，反正也沒人關(guān)心
When we tell this story, let's end it differently.
等回去說起此事時(shí)，要編個(gè)不一樣的結(jié)局
What are you thinking? Maybe a big musical number?
你在想什么，是不是還要來一段歌舞
Well, I'm going to make some warm milk and then turn in.
我弄點(diǎn)熱牛奶就進(jìn)去睡了
I trust if you two are planning on engaging in amorous activities, you'll keep the decibel level to a minimum.
我相信如果你們打算 親熱的話會(huì)盡量小聲點(diǎn)的
Of course.
當(dāng)然
Thank you.
謝謝
Mmm. These are so good.
味道真好
Unbelievable.
難以置信
What?
怎么了
I-I was just thinking we should probably turn in, too.
我剛在想 我們也該進(jìn)房睡了
Well, you know, my new bed got delivered. If you come over and put it together, you can stay at my place.
我的新床送來了如果你過來把它組裝好，就能睡在我那里了
Really? That's a lot of work, and it's kind of late.
是嗎，但得花不少時(shí)間，而且現(xiàn)在有點(diǎn)晚了
Yeah, but if we stay there, we won't have tbe quiet.
但那樣我們就不用小聲了
Let's go.
我們走
Interesting.
有趣
Sex works even better than chocolate to modify behavior.
在修正行為方面，性愛比巧克力更有效
I wonder if anyone else has stumbled onto that.
不知道有沒有人研究過這點(diǎn)
Okay, wait. How about this?
等等，這個(gè)故事怎么樣
We say there were four goth girls.
有四個(gè)哥特女孩
The two girls in the club have two friends.
酒吧里有兩個(gè)女孩，她們還有兩個(gè)朋友
I like it, I like it.
不錯(cuò)，不錯(cuò)
Did they smell good despite their goth-like nature?
雖然她們是哥特，但她們的味道香嗎
What's that got to do with the story?
這有什么關(guān)系
Engaging my olfactory sense helps make it real for me.
加上嗅覺的描述，我覺得比較真實(shí)
Fine, they smelled good
好吧，她們聞起來香香的
Oh, they did. Like jasmine and honeysuckle
確實(shí)，就像茉莉和金銀花
Whatever.
無所謂
And then they held hands and did a sexy, demonic hokey pokey for us.
她們手拉手，對我們瘋狂的 做下流動(dòng)作
No, no. Ok, let me just say my story all the way through and then you can say yours, and then we'll pick.
不不，先讓我把故事說完你再說你的，然后我們再選
I'm sorry. Go on.
抱歉，你繼續(xù)說
Okay. We got tattoos, and then the four girls took us to their place
我們?nèi)ゼy了身然后四個(gè)女孩帶我們到她們的住所，
But we don't have tattoos. What if someone asks to see our tattoos?
但我們沒有紋身，萬一有人要看紋身，怎么辦
We say they're in a very intimate area.
我們就說紋在了非常私密的部位
Oh, we're bad boys, aren't we?
我們太壞了，不是嗎
Right, right.
就是，就是
So, we go back to their place and then the six of us end up in a hot tub.
再回頭說她們的住所最后我們六個(gè)人倒在熱氣騰騰的浴缸中
But we just got tattos.
但我們剛紋了身
Wouldn't we be concerned about bacterial infection?
我們不怕細(xì)菌感染嗎
True. Okay. Forget the hot tub.
對，那不要浴缸這段了
The point is, we each had a ménage with sexy goth girls.
重點(diǎn)是我們都和火辣的哥特女孩親熱
What a great night.
今晚太棒了
Yeah.
是啊
Hey, want to try a country bar tomorrow night?
明晚去鄉(xiāng)村酒吧碰運(yùn)氣嗎
Maybe we'll get lucky with some sexy cowgirls.
也許我們能釣上幾個(gè)牛仔女孩
Could happen.
很有可能
I wonder how they smell.
不知道她們聞起來什么味道
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