第九季:第7集 謝爾頓學(xué)史波克假裝沒感情(下)
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As a child, when faced with a dilemma, my mother encouraged me to ask, "What would Jesus do?"
小時(shí)候當(dāng)我面臨兩難處境時(shí)，我母親會(huì)鼓勵(lì)我問， "耶穌會(huì)怎么做"
The answer to that was always, "Love thy neighbor."
答案永遠(yuǎn)都是， "愛鄰如愛己"
But my neighbor had a dead tooth, so... that wasn't going to happen.
但我的鄰居有一顆爛牙，所以...我不可能愛他
But...that's why I changed it to, "What would Spock do?"
但...也因此我把問題改成， "史波克會(huì)怎么做"
Did you find that helpful?
你覺得對(duì)你有幫助嗎
Yes. Oh, for example, three years ago when I discovered Penny was eating all my PopTarts, instead of getting angry or vindictive, you know, I got a floor safe.
對(duì)啊，比如三年前當(dāng)我發(fā)現(xiàn)佩妮總吃掉我所有果塔餅干，我沒有生氣或懷恨在心，反之我裝了一個(gè)地板保險(xiǎn)箱
I knew I could smell 'em.
我就知道我有聞到餅干味
What about from when you were a kid?
不如從你小時(shí)候說起
Oh, certainly. Uh, when I was eight years old, Billy Sparks cornered me in the playground.
好的，在我八歲的時(shí)候，比利·斯帕克斯在操場(chǎng)上把我逼到角落
I asked myself, "What would Spock do?" Then I grabbed Billy on his shoulder and performed my first Vulcan nerve pinch.
我就問我自己， "史波克會(huì)怎么做"，然后我抓住比利的肩膀，使出了我人生第一次瓦肯掐脖術(shù)
Did it work? Oh, no he broke my collarbone. I can still hear it click.
管用嗎，沒用啊，他把我鎖骨弄斷了，現(xiàn)在一動(dòng)還會(huì)咯咯響
That must have been very upsetting for you.
那一定讓你非常失望
Oh, not at all. As I said, the entire point of emulating Spock was to rise above human emotion, which I've spent a lifetime mastering.
完全沒有，我前面就說了，效仿史波克的重點(diǎn)就是克服人類情緒，而我已花一生的時(shí)間來掌握它
Excuse me? I'm sorry. I'm not here.
怎么回事，抱歉，當(dāng)我不在
No. You went . What does mean? You did go.
不，你這樣是啥意思，你的確那樣了
All right, fine. Well, Sheldon, I'm no expert, but aren't you completely missing the point of Spock?
好吧，謝爾頓，我雖然不是專家，但你好像完全沒抓住史波克的重點(diǎn)
I mean, he liked to act like he had no emotions, but he was still half human. Just like you.
他喜歡表現(xiàn)得好像自己沒有情感，但他仍是半個(gè)人類，就像你
I'm just saying, you pretend you don't, but you have feelings just like everybody else.
我的意思是，你假裝你沒有，但你也是有情緒的人，就像其他人一樣
Not true. No, look at me. I had an engagement ring to give a girl, and instead, she rejected me.
不對(duì)，你看我，我本來要向一位女孩求婚，但在求婚之前，她就先跟我分手了
And am I emotional about that? No. No, I am sitting here on a couch, talking about my favorite TV character like nothing happened.
我有對(duì)此情緒激動(dòng)嗎，沒有，相反我坐在沙發(fā)上若無其事般地談?wù)撐易類鄣碾娨暯巧?/div>
'Cause I am just like him: all logical, all the time.
因?yàn)槲腋荒Ｒ粯?，由始至終保持理智
Sweetie, you're yelling.
親愛的，你已經(jīng)開始嚷嚷了
Because when I speak at a regular volume, no one seems to believe me that I've put this Amy nonsense behind me!
因?yàn)楫?dāng)我用正常音量講話時(shí)都沒人相信，我已經(jīng)把艾米的這破事拋諸腦后了
This documentary is gonna be awesome.
這部紀(jì)錄片的精彩度絕對(duì)爆表
You gonna be okay down here? Yeah. Yeah,
你在下面沒事吧，沒事
I feel like an archaeologist. Indiana Jones and the SingleFamily Dwelling.
我覺得自己好像考古學(xué)家，印第安納·瓊斯之單戶家庭房歷險(xiǎn)
Hey. Look! Found a seashell.
看，我找到一個(gè)貝殼
Yeah, that's a rat skull. Relax.
那是死老鼠的頭蓋骨，別緊張
There's enough droppings down here without you making more.
這里動(dòng)物屎尿夠多了，你別再給我們?cè)黾?/div>
Sorry. Do you have a... sense of where we are?
抱歉，你知道我們現(xiàn)在大概到哪里了嗎
Yeah. I think that's the den.
知道，我想那里應(yīng)該是小室吧
Okay, so we must be under the dining room.
好，我們應(yīng)該是在餐廳下面了
Yep. You know, I know you don't want to hear this, but it wouldn't take that much work to turn that den into a nursery.
沒錯(cuò)，我知道你不想聽到這個(gè)，但如果把那個(gè)小室改造成嬰兒室花不了什么功夫
Why wouldn't I want to hear it?
我為什么不想聽到這個(gè)呀
'Cause Bernie said you didn't want kids.
因?yàn)槟菽菡f你不想要孩子
That's not true at all. I-I wish she'd get pregnant, believe me. I'm climbing on top of her every chance I get. In a... loving and respectful manner.
完全不是，我非常希望她懷孕，相信我，我一有機(jī)會(huì)就往她身上爬，當(dāng)然是以一種充滿愛與恭敬的方式
The point is, I really do want kids. I don't know why she's lying to you. She's the one who doesn't want kids.
重點(diǎn)是我真的很想要孩子，我不知道她為什么要騙你，她才是不想要孩子的那個(gè)
In fact, every time I bring up the subject...
事實(shí)上，每次我提到這事
Earthquake! Oh, my God, we're gonna die! Aftershock...!
地震來了，我的天，我們死定了，余震來了
I can't believe Sheldon was gonna ask Amy to marry him. I know.
我不敢相信謝爾頓本來打算向艾米求婚，我知道
I also can't believe he watched what we did on that couch and still sits on it. Yeah.
我更不敢相信他目睹了我們?cè)谏嘲l(fā)上"做"的事還敢坐在上面，是呀
Hello. Hey, buddy. How you doing? Better.
你們好，老兄，你還好嗎？好多了
Did Wil and Adam leave? Yeah.
威爾和亞當(dāng)走了嗎，走了
Do you think they're going to put my outburst in the documentary? Definitely. Oh, yeah.
你覺得他們會(huì)在片里留下我暴怒的片段嗎，肯定了，絕對(duì)的
Well, there's no point in dwelling on it. As the Vulcans say, "Kupfuntor ha'kiv na'ish du stau."
我也不需要糾結(jié)這事，借用一句瓦肯人的俗語 "人已殺，你無力還命"（瓦肯語）
Do you know what that means? No. Are you telling the truth? Nirsh.
你懂他的意思嗎，不懂，你說的是實(shí)話嗎，非也（瓦肯語）
Well, this is ridiculous.
這一切都太荒唐了
Being upset about Amy all the time isn't accomplishing anything.
總是為艾米的事傷心不能解決任何問題
If I want to resolve this situation, then I need to take action.
如果我想解決這件事，我就要行動(dòng)起來
What are you gonna do?
你要干什么
I'm going to find her and ask her to marry me. And if she says yes, we can put this behind us and resume our relationship.
我要去找她，向她求婚，如果她答應(yīng)了，我們就把這事徹底忘掉，重新開始我們的關(guān)系
And if she says no... well, then she can just ponfo miran.
如果她不肯答應(yīng)，那她就可以去自盡了（瓦肯語）
He didn't meant that. So I should probably explain why I kind of fibbed.
他不是真心的，也許我該解釋下我為什么撒了個(gè)小謊
That would be nice. I told my dad that you were the one who didn't want kids because I didn't want to disappoint him.
那想必是極好的，我告訴我爸你不想要孩子，是因?yàn)槲也幌胱屗?/div>
But you were okay throwing me under the bus?
讓我當(dāng)替死鬼，你就忍心嗎
Turns out yeah, I didn't think twice about it.
事實(shí)證明，我對(duì)此毫不猶豫
Bernie, you don't need to worry about me. But I don't want to see you miss out.
妮妮，你不用擔(dān)心我，但是我不想看你錯(cuò)過這一切
Raising children was the most rewarding experience of my life.
養(yǎng)育孩子是我人生中最獲益匪淺的體驗(yàn)
Oh, please. Mom did everything.
得了吧，啥都是我媽干的
All you did was come home from work, sit on the couch and drink beer. How is that raising kids?
你只不過是每天下班回家坐在沙發(fā)上喝啤酒，這算哪門子養(yǎng)育孩子
This is really a conversation for husband and wife. I'm gonna go clean up, hit the road.
這話題看來只適合夫妻倆談，我這個(gè)外人還是洗洗回家吧
If your mother asks, I was here till 10:00.
如果你媽問起，我晚上10點(diǎn)才離開這里
It's interesting your father didn't help around the house and Howard doesn't help, either,
真有趣，你爸爸不太做家務(wù)，霍華德也不愛做家務(wù)
so... in a way, Howard's not only like your father, but he's also like the child that you're afraid to have.
所以從某種程度來說，霍華德不光是像你爸爸，他還像是你不敢生的孩子一樣
Why are you still here?
你怎么還不滾啊
Fine, I'll leave. But it sounds like somebody needs a fresh diaper.
好吧，我走了，不過某人好像需要換尿布啦
All right... I admit... that I don't help out a lot. And I need to work on that.
好吧，我承認(rèn)，我的確不怎么幫忙干家務(wù)，我需要改進(jìn)這一點(diǎn)
But...if we had a kid, it would be different.
但是如果我們有了孩子，一切都會(huì)不一樣
Why? Because...when my dad left, I promised myself that...if I ever had a chance to be a father...I'd always be there.
為什么，因?yàn)楫?dāng)我爸離開時(shí)，我對(duì)自己保證說，如果我有機(jī)會(huì)做爸，我一定陪在孩子身邊
Okay, I'll think about it.
好吧，我會(huì)考慮的
And this an actual "I'll think about it," not like the "Can we get a motorcycle with a sidecar I'll think about it"?
你這是認(rèn)真考慮，而不是像"我們能買輛帶跨斗的摩托車嗎"那樣的"考慮一下"吧
It's an actual "I'll think about it."
我是真的會(huì)認(rèn)真考慮的
I really believe I'd be a great dad. I know you would.
我相信我會(huì)成為一位好爸爸，我也相信你會(huì)
Speaking of...making babies, what do you say I wash up and poke around your crawlspace?
既然說到生寶寶，不如我馬上洗漱一下，然后戳戳你的小通道好不好啊
Dr. Dana feels he isn't that dangerous.
達(dá)娜醫(yī)生覺得他沒有那么危險(xiǎn)
What makes you right and a trained psychiatrist wrong?
我憑什么相信你而不相信一位醫(yī)生的話
Because she feels. I don't. All I know is logic.
因?yàn)樗星楦?，而我沒有，我只按邏輯做事
Yeah, right. You can just shut your feelings off.
切，鬼才相信，你能就這樣把情感大門關(guān)上
There goes television, lying to us again.
電視又一次欺騙了我們
We let you raise our children, and this is the thanks we get.
我們讓你養(yǎng)育我們的孩子，結(jié)果你就這樣報(bào)答我們
Leonard, how could I have been so foolish to try and follow in the footsteps of a madeup alien race with no emotions?
萊納德，我怎么能這么蠢，試圖去追隨一個(gè)虛構(gòu)的沒有情感的外星人種族的腳步
Well...now instead of idolizing fictional characters, you can focus on the real people who are already in your life.
除了崇拜科幻人物，你還可以把注意力放在身邊的真實(shí)人物上啊
Those are very wise words. Thank you.
好一句至理名言，謝謝
They'd just be so much more comforting if they came out of a television.
如果來自電視里聽起來就更安慰人了
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