《柯南脫口秀》第39期:俠盜獵車手

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Speaking of babies,prince William's pregnant wife,Kate middleton,is past her due date. 說到新生兒 威廉王子的懷孕妻子 凱特·米德爾頓已經過了孕產期了

Doctors may have to induce . 醫(yī)生可能得催產

Yeah,to speed up the birth,doctors have been telling the baby,come on out.You will never have to work a day in your life. 為了加速生產 醫(yī)生們對寶寶說 快出來吧 你這輩子永遠不用工作的

This is pretty sweet.Yesterday Instagram announced that users can now hashtag emojis. 不錯啊 昨天圖片分享宣布用戶現(xiàn)在可以給符號表情打井號了

So,ladies and gentlemen,it's official.we all learn to read for nothing. 女士們先生們 就是這樣了 我們字都白識了

Bruce Jenner,of course,big star in the news right now.Bruce Jenner will be getting his own reality show.Did you know that? 布魯斯·詹納 大熱新聞 布魯斯·詹納將擁有自己的新真人秀 大家知道嗎

Unfortunately as a woman,Jenner will only be making 70% of what he made on his last reality show.Got to get used to that.It's step down. 只是 作為女人 他只能掙之前七成的工資了 得面對這個現(xiàn)實了 要減工資了

Speaking of issues,girls who play "Mine craft" can finally play it as girls instead of boys.You can play as a girl,yeah. 說到性別問題 玩《我的世界》的女生 終于能以女生而非男生的身份玩這個游戲了 你可以以女生的身份玩了

Not to be outdone,today grand theft uh-oh released an update that allows you to shoot a male prostitute.Nice. 倒不是要攀比 但今天《俠盜獵車手》更新了游戲 讓你可以射殺男妓 多棒啊

we're getting there.we're getting there.Real progress,real progress.we really made it. 性別平等不遠了 性別平等不遠了 真是大進步 我們成功了

Ok,I got to mention this,two Ohio graduate students have invented a device they are calling a cannabis buster,a cannabis buster 得提一嘴 兩名俄亥俄州畢業(yè)生 發(fā)明了一種設備 稱為印度大麻探測器 印度大麻探測器

This will help law enforcement determine whether or not drivers are under the influence of marijuana.Yeah,they are already testing the device. 能幫助執(zhí)法部門確認駕駛員是否吸大麻后駕駛 這件設備已經在接受測試了

Did you hear the worry from our audience? whoa,what? 你聽到觀眾們的擔憂了嗎 什么