演講MP3+雙語(yǔ)文稿:如何建立你的自信？

01:01

賽普蒂瑪是一名活動(dòng)家和教育家，我仿照著她的樣子， 建立了自己的事業(yè)。但比她講過(guò)的話更重要的是，當(dāng)時(shí)她的那張照片，在我認(rèn)字之前，就教會(huì)了我什么叫作自信。

Septima Clark was an activist and an educator, a woman after whom I'd eventually model my own career. But more than all the words she ever spoke, that single portrait of Septima Clark, it defined confidence for me before I ever even knew the word.

01:19

這聽(tīng)起來(lái)可能很簡(jiǎn)單，但我們常常低估自信的重要性。我們把自信當(dāng)作錦上添花， 而非必要之物。我們抬高知識(shí)與資源，卻看低自信，覺(jué)得它 不過(guò)是個(gè)軟技能。在大多數(shù)情況下，我們擁有遠(yuǎn)超過(guò)去的知識(shí)和資源，卻未能克服所有的不公和挑戰(zhàn)。如果知識(shí)和資源能 滿足我們所有的需求，那我們就不會(huì)仍在原地踏步。在我眼中，自信是平衡的天平上所缺失的重要的一塊。

It may sound simple, but confidence is something that we underestimate the importance of. We treat it like a nice-to-have instead of a must-have. We place value on knowledge and resources above what we deem to be the soft skill of confidence. But by most measures, we have more knowledge and more resources now than at any other point in history, and still injustice abounds and challenges persist. If knowledge and resources were all that we needed, we wouldn't still be here. And I believe that confidence is one of the main things missing from the equation.

01:59

我對(duì)自信非常著迷。在過(guò)去的大部分人生中 我一直充滿自信，而在今后的人生中 我也將保持如此。自信是點(diǎn)燃一切事物的必要火花。自信是靈感閃現(xiàn)和真正動(dòng)手的分水嶺，是從嘗試到完成工作的轉(zhuǎn)折點(diǎn)。即使失敗，自信也能 幫助我們堅(jiān)持下去?？Х茸郎夏潜緯?shū)的名字 叫作《我夢(mèng)想的一個(gè)世界》，如今，我夢(mèng)想有那么一個(gè)世界，在那里，突破性的自信能夠 幫助我們實(shí)現(xiàn)最遠(yuǎn)大的夢(mèng)想。

I'm completely obsessed with confidence. It's been the most important journey of my life, a journey that, to be honest, I'm still on. Confidence is the necessary spark before everything that follows. Confidence is the difference between being inspired and actually getting started, between trying and doing until it's done. Confidence helps us keep going even when we failed. The name of the book on that coffee table was "I Dream A World," and today I dream a world where ary confidence helps bring about our most ambitious dreams into reality.

02:43

當(dāng)我還是個(gè)教師的時(shí)候，我就想建立這樣的世界，就像幻想中的威利·旺卡的世界，但更有學(xué)術(shù)氣息一點(diǎn)。我所有的學(xué)生都是黑色或棕色人種。他們所有人都出身于低收入家庭。他們中的一些人是移民， 還有一些人是殘疾人，在這個(gè)世界上，他們是最沒(méi)有自信的一類人。這正是為什么我要在我的課堂中讓我的學(xué)生建立自信，讓他們學(xué)會(huì)充滿自信，面對(duì)每一天，把這個(gè)世界重新構(gòu)建成 你們夢(mèng)想中的那樣。畢竟，如果沒(méi)有信心改變世界的話，要學(xué)術(shù)技能又有什么用呢？

That's exactly the kind of world that I wanted to create in my classroom when I was a teacher, like a Willy Wonka world of pure imagination, but make it scholarly. All of my students were black or brown. All of them were growing up in a low-income circumstance. Some of them were immigrants, some of them were disabled, but all of them were the very last people this world invites to be confident. That's why it was so important that my classroom be a place where my students could build the muscle of confidence, where they could learn to face each day with the confidence you need to redesign the world in the image of your own dreams. After all, what are academic skills without the confidence to use those skills to go out and change the world.

03:32

現(xiàn)在，我要向你們介紹我的 兩個(gè)學(xué)生：賈邁勒和蕾吉娜。這兩個(gè)名字是化名， 但故事都是真實(shí)的。賈邁勒頭腦靈活，但注意力不集中。做獨(dú)立作業(yè)的時(shí)候， 他會(huì)在椅子上扭來(lái)扭曲，從來(lái)沒(méi)能保持不動(dòng) 3或4分鐘以上的。像賈邁勒一類的學(xué)生 會(huì)讓新老師非常困惑，因?yàn)樗麄儾恢酪?怎么教導(dǎo)這類學(xué)生。我采取了一個(gè)直接方法。我和賈邁勒商量。如果他能夠?qū)Ｐ淖鍪拢撬朐诮淌业氖裁?地方做事，都可以，比如說(shuō)在教室地毯上， 或是我的書(shū)桌后面，或是在他的儲(chǔ)物柜里， 這是他最喜歡的地方。賈邁勒最討厭寫(xiě)作課，他從不愿意在課堂上 大聲朗讀他寫(xiě)的東西，但我們依然取得了一些進(jìn)步。某天，我想在課堂上進(jìn)行一場(chǎng)模擬的2008年總統(tǒng)選舉。我?guī)У娜昙?jí)學(xué)生需要 幫他們選的候選人寫(xiě)一份政治演講稿：貝拉克·奧巴馬、希拉里·克林頓 或是約翰·麥克凱恩。大多數(shù)人選擇的候選人都一樣，但有一個(gè)學(xué)生選擇了 約翰·麥克凱恩。這個(gè)學(xué)生是賈邁勒。賈邁勒最終決定在班上 朗讀他寫(xiě)的稿子，不出所料，他的才華讓全班震驚。和他的父親一樣，約翰·麥克凱恩 也是個(gè)退伍老兵，正如賈邁勒的父親保護(hù)他兒子那樣，賈邁勒認(rèn)為約翰·麥克凱恩 會(huì)保護(hù)整個(gè)國(guó)家。麥克凱恩不是我理想的候選人， 但這并不重要，因?yàn)檎n堂上爆發(fā)出了雷鳴般的掌聲，全體起立為勇敢的賈邁勒喝彩，這是那年他第一次表現(xiàn)得充滿自信。

Now is when I should tell you about two of my students, Jamal and Regina. Now, I've changed their names, but their stories remain the same. Jamal was brilliant, but unfocused. He would squirm in his chair during independent work, and he would never stay still for more than three or four minutes. Students like Jamal can perplex brand new teachers because they're not quite sure how to support young people like him. I took a direct approach. I negotiated with Jamal. If he could give me focused work, then he could do it from anywhere in the classroom, from our classroom rug, from behind my desk, from inside his classroom locker, which turned out to be his favorite place. Jamal's least favorite subject was writing, and he never wanted to read what he had written out loud in class, but we were still making progress. One day, I decided to host a mock 2008 presidential election in my classroom. My third graders had to research and write a stump speech for their chosen candidate: Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton or John McCain. The heavy favorites were obvious, but one student chose John McCain. It was Jamal. Jamal finally decided to read something that he had written out loud in class, and sure enough, Jamal stunned all of us with his brilliance. Just like Jamal's dad, John McCain was a veteran, and just like Jamal's dad protected him, Jamal believed that John McCain would protect the entire country. And he wasn't my candidate of choice, but it didn't matter, because the entire class erupted into applause, a standing ovation for our brave friend Jamal who finally showed up as his most confident self for the first time that year.

05:20

還有蕾吉娜的故事。蕾吉娜也很聰明，但太活潑了。她每天都早早做完作業(yè)，然后開(kāi)始騷擾其他學(xué)生。

And then there was Regina. Regina was equally as brilliant, but active. She'd inevitably finish her work early, and then she'd get on about the business of distracting other students.

05:32

（笑聲）

（Laughter）

05:33

走來(lái)走去，大聲講話，傳那些老師討厭 但是小孩喜歡的小紙條。你們看上去傳過(guò)很多小紙條。

Walking, talking, passing those notes that teachers hate but kids love. You look like you passed a lot of them.

05:40

（笑聲）

（Laughter）

05:41

盡管我對(duì)班級(jí)的要求很高，但很多時(shí)候，我會(huì)屈從于本能，比起自信，我更想讓學(xué)生服從。蕾吉娜是我意料之外的一個(gè)變數(shù)。一個(gè)好的老師可以一邊糾正學(xué)生，一邊受到學(xué)生愛(ài)戴。但有一天，我的老毛病犯了。我發(fā)火了，我沒(méi)能讓蕾吉娜明白她的行為擾亂了課堂。我指責(zé)蕾吉娜本人很煩人。我看到她的眼中的光消失了，這光曾為整個(gè)班級(jí)帶來(lái)了歡樂(lè)，而我卻撲滅了它。整個(gè)班級(jí)都躁動(dòng)起來(lái)了，直到放學(xué)都沒(méi)能平靜下來(lái)。

Despite my high ideals for our classroom, I would too often default to my baser instincts, and I would choose compliance over confidence. Regina was a glitch in my intended system. A good teacher can correct misbehavior but still remain a student's champion. But on one day in particular, I just plain old chose control. I snapped, and my approach didn't communicate to Regina that she was being a distraction. My approach communicated to Regina that she herself was a distraction. I watched the light go out from her eyes, and that light sparked joy in our classroom. I had just extinguished it. The entire class became irritable, and we didn't recover for the rest of the day.

06:32

我經(jīng)常會(huì)想到那一天，并且祈禱我沒(méi)有造成 任何不可挽回的傷害，因?yàn)槲乙苍且粋€(gè) 像蕾吉娜一樣的小女孩，我知道我可能在逐漸扼殺她一輩子的自信心。

I think about the day often, and I have literally prayed that I did not do irreparable harm, because as a woman who used to be a little girl just like Regina, I know that I could have started the process of killing her confidence forever.

06:51

缺少自信會(huì)從根本上摧毀一個(gè)人，讓人不相信自己的能力。讓我們成天擔(dān)心自己 做不到、不會(huì)做和不可能。沒(méi)有自信，我們就會(huì)止步不前，當(dāng)我們陷入僵局時(shí)， 我們甚至無(wú)法邁出第一步。自信能讓我們果斷決策，而不是被困難所阻攔。當(dāng)我們相信自己能成功，而不僅僅是希望，我們做事會(huì)變得不同。這是一個(gè)很有幫助的檢查。如果你不夠自信，這可能說(shuō)明你需要重新調(diào)整你的目標(biāo)。如果你太過(guò)自信，這可能說(shuō)明你不腳踏實(shí)地。并非所有人都缺少自信。在這個(gè)社會(huì)上，一些人很容易就會(huì)自信，因?yàn)樗麄兎项I(lǐng)袖的形象。我們獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)一些人的自信，懲罰另一些人的自信，一直以來(lái)，每天都有太多缺乏自信的人。對(duì)于我們中的一些人而言，自信是一項(xiàng)突破性的選擇，如果缺少自信導(dǎo)致我們最遠(yuǎn)大的理想覆滅，導(dǎo)致我們最偉大的夢(mèng)想落空，那就太可惜了。我不愿冒這種風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。

A lack of confidence pulls us down from the bottom and weighs us down from the top, crushing us between a flurry of can'ts, won'ts and impossibles. Without confidence, we get stuck, and when we get stuck, we can't even get started. Instead of getting mired in what can get in our way, confidence invites us to perform with certainty. We all operate a little differently when we're sure we can win versus if we just hope we will. Now, this can be a helpful check. If you don't have enough confidence, it could be because you need to readjust your goal. If you have too much confidence, it could be because you're not rooted in something real. Not everyone lacks confidence. We make it easier in this society for some people to gain confidence because they fit our preferred archetype of leadership. We reward confidence in some people and we punish confidence in others, and all the while far too many people are walking around every single day without it. For some of us, confidence is a ary choice, and it would be our greatest shame to see our best ideas go unrealized and our brightest dreams go unreached all because we lacked the engine of confidence. That's not a risk I'm willing to take.

08:17

那么我們應(yīng)該如何獲取自信呢？據(jù)我估計(jì)，需要三個(gè)因素：允許、團(tuán)體和好奇心。自信誕生于允許，成長(zhǎng)于團(tuán)體，增強(qiáng)于好奇心。在教育界，我們有一句話，你無(wú)法成為你看不到的東西。當(dāng)我還是個(gè)小女孩的時(shí)候， 我不自信，直到有人告訴我自信是什么。

So how do we crack the code on confidence? In my estimation, it takes at least three things: permission, community and curiosity. Permission births confidence, community nurtures it and curiosity affirms it. In education, we've got a saying, that you can't be what you can't see. When I was a little girl, I couldn't show confidence until someone showed me.

08:43

我的家庭會(huì)一起做所有的事，包括日常的事，例如買新車，每次我們這么做時(shí)，我看到我父母都會(huì)重復(fù)同樣的操作。我們走進(jìn)經(jīng)銷店，我父親會(huì)坐下，而我母親會(huì)去挑選。當(dāng)我母親發(fā)現(xiàn)一輛她喜歡的車時(shí)，他們會(huì)去見(jiàn)經(jīng)銷商，不可避免的是，每次經(jīng)銷商都面向我父親，更關(guān)注我父親，認(rèn)為我是父親在主導(dǎo)這次購(gòu)物，由此有了下面的對(duì)話?！芭煽四崽叵壬?，”他們說(shuō)， “您今天就把車開(kāi)走怎么樣？”每次我父親會(huì)以相同的方式回應(yīng)。他會(huì)安靜地慢慢指向我母親，然后把雙手放回大腿上。在80年代，和黑人女性商談財(cái)務(wù)可能很讓人震驚，但不管如何，我會(huì)看著我母親和經(jīng)銷商討價(jià)還價(jià)，直到他們幾乎是在免費(fèi)送車給我們。

My family used to do everything together, including the mundane things, like buying a new car, and every time we did this, I'd watch my parents put on the exact same performance. We'd enter the dealership, and my dad would sit while my mom shopped. When my mom found a car that she liked, they'd go in and meet with the dealer, and inevitably, every time the dealer would turn his attention and his body to my dad, assuming that he controlled the purse strings and therefore this negotiation. "Rev. Packnett," they'd say, "how do we get you into this car today?" My dad would inevitably respond the same way. He'd slowly and silently gesture toward my mother and then put his hands right back in his lap. It might have been the complete shock of negotiating finances with a black woman in the '80s, but whatever it was, I'd watch my mother work these car dealers over until they were basically giving the car away for free.

09:45

（笑聲）

（Laughter）

09:46

她從不會(huì)笑，也從來(lái)不會(huì)害怕走開(kāi)，我知道我母親覺(jué)得她以 便宜價(jià)格買了小面包車，但實(shí)際上，她在允許我反抗別人的預(yù)期，并且無(wú)論誰(shuí)懷疑自己， 都要通過(guò)技能展現(xiàn)自信。

She would never crack a smile. She would never be afraid to walk away. I know my mom just thought she was getting a good deal on a minivan, but what she was actually doing was giving me permission to defy expectations and to show up confidently in my skill no matter who doubts me.

10:08

自信需要允許來(lái)孕育，而團(tuán)體是嘗試自信最安全的地方。

Confidence needs permission to exist and community is the safest place to try confidence on.

10:15

今年我到肯尼亞， 跟馬賽女性學(xué)習(xí)女性自主。在那里我遇到了一群 叫作“母獅隊(duì)”的年輕女性，肯尼亞第一支全部 由女性組成的軍隊(duì)。這八位勇敢的女性在青少年時(shí)期就已創(chuàng)造歷史。我問(wèn)其中最能言善道的女孩普麗蒂，“你會(huì)不會(huì)害怕？”我發(fā)誓，我想把 她的回答紋在我全身。她說(shuō)：“我當(dāng)然害怕，但我拜訪了我的姐妹們。她們告訴我，我們會(huì)比別的男性更好，并且我們不會(huì)失敗?！逼整惖俚淖孕抛屗軌?找到獅子，追擊盜獵者，這自信并非來(lái)源于她的 運(yùn)動(dòng)能力或是信仰。她的自信源于姐妹的支撐，源于團(tuán)體。她的主要意思是如果 我陷入自我懷疑中，我需要你在我身邊，幫我恢復(fù)希望，并且重建我的自信

I traveled to Kenya this year to learn about women's empowerment among Maasai women. There I met a group of young women called Team Lioness, among Kenya's first all-female community ranger groups. These eight brave young women were making history in just their teenage years, and I asked Purity, the most verbose young ranger among them, "Do you ever get scared?" I swear to you, I want to tattoo her response all over my entire body. She said, "Of course I do, but I call on my sisters. They remind me that we will be better than these men and that we will not fail." Purity's confidence to chase down lions and catch poachers, it didn't come from her athletic ability or even just her faith. Her confidence was propped up by sisterhood, by community. What she was basically saying was that if I am ever in doubt, I need you to be there to restore my hope and to rebuild my certainty.

11:20

在團(tuán)體中，我能找到我的自信心，而你的好奇心能鞏固它。在我職業(yè)生涯早期， 我主辦了一場(chǎng)大型活動(dòng)，這場(chǎng)活動(dòng)并不是很順利。事實(shí)上，它非常糟糕。當(dāng)我向經(jīng)理匯報(bào)活動(dòng)狀況時(shí)，我知道她準(zhǔn)備從頭到尾數(shù)落我犯下的每一個(gè)錯(cuò)誤，可能是從我出生開(kāi)始。但相反，她開(kāi)口問(wèn)了一個(gè)問(wèn)題：“你的目的是什么？”我很驚訝，但松了口氣。她知道我內(nèi)心已經(jīng)很沮喪了，那個(gè)問(wèn)題讓我從自己的錯(cuò)誤中學(xué)習(xí)，而不是打擊我搖搖欲墜的自信心。好奇心讓人們能夠掌控自己的學(xué)習(xí)。那次交流幫助我在下一次的項(xiàng)目中取得了成功。允許、團(tuán)體和好奇心：這三者能幫助我們培養(yǎng)自信，繼而讓我們用自信解決最大的挑戰(zhàn)，建立我們夢(mèng)想中的世界，在那里，一切不平等都被消除， 公正會(huì)成為現(xiàn)實(shí)，在那里，我們的內(nèi)心 和外在都是自由的，因?yàn)槲覀冎?，只有人人自由?才是真正的自由。那樣的世界會(huì)鼓勵(lì)女性、或是黑人、或是除了天生的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)人之外的所有人獲得自信。在那里，人們明白那種自信正是開(kāi)啟理想中未來(lái)的關(guān)鍵鑰匙。

In community, I can find my confidence and your curiosity can affirm it. Early in my career, I led a large-scale event that did not go exactly as planned. I'm lying to you. It was terrible. And when I debriefed the event with my manager, I just knew that she was going to run down the list of every mistake I had ever made, probably from birth. But instead, she opened with a question: What was your intention? I was surprised but relieved. She knew that I was already beating myself up, and that question invited me to learn from my own mistakes instead of damage my already fragile confidence. Curiosity invites people to be in charge of their own learning. That exchange, it helped me approach my next project with the expectation of success. Permission, community, curiosity: all of these are the things that we will need to breed the confidence that we'll absolutely need to solve our greatest challenges and to build the world we dream, a world where inequity is ended and where justice is real, a world where we can be free on the outside and free on the inside because we know that none of us are free until all of us are free. A world that isn't intimidated by confidence when it shows up as a woman or in black skin or in anything other than our preferred archetypes of leadership. A world that knows that that kind of confidence is exactly the key we need to unlock the future that we want.

13:06

我有足夠的信心相信這樣的世界最終會(huì)到來(lái)，而我們是構(gòu)建這個(gè)世界的人。

I have enough confidence to believe that that world will indeed come to pass, and that we are the ones to make it so.

13:14

Thank you so much.

謝謝你們。

13:16

（掌聲）

（Applause）