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雙語(yǔ)·老屋子 第四章

所屬教程:譯林版·老屋子

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2022年05月28日

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Chapter 4

The frst snow had fallen and lay fne and white on the balcony, embroidered by the feet of the sparrows.

The red flowers stood indoors, in the warmth, and looked pitiful. And a big table had been placed at the back of the room, with a lamp upon it and a pile of books.

Cordt came early.

He went straight up to the table, sat down and opened a book. Soon after, he stood at the window and looked out.

It was growing dusk. A damp and misty evening, with a thin, reddish light behind the mist and cold feet and dripping roofs. The snow on the square had melted into slush. The fountain was silent, covered with boards and pine-faggots.

He sat down again and read. He stood up, looked at his watch, went to the window, walked up and down the floor and sat down again. He lit a cigar and let it go out. He went away and came back in an hour and began all over again.

A little before midnight, the carriage drove in through the gateway and, fve minutes later, Fru Adelheid stood in the room, tall and white, with large eyes.

“Have you enjoyed yourself, Adelheid?”

She could hear that he did not care to know and she did not answer:

“I am freezing,”she said.

She drew her chair close up to the fre, nestled into it and put her feet on the fender.

“They asked after you, Cordt.”

“I daresay.”

He turned over the leaves of his book a little, then closed it and drew his chair beside hers. He sat resting his cheek in his hand and looked tired.

“Do you intend to sit in this room all day, Cordt?”

“No, only in the evening. When I have nothing else to do, I love this room.”

She pressed her hands hard together and closed her eyes.

“I hate it,”she said.“All the unkindness that has come between you and me comes from here.”

He said nothing to this, but rose and went to the table for a cigar. Something went through her as he slammed the lid of the box.

“Are you going with me to-morrow?”

He shook his head.

“Do you want to cut off all our acquaintance, Cordt?”

“No,”he said.“I do not. But I don't care to go out just now.”

“What do you think our friends will say?”

“Let them say what they like.”

“Don't you consider how unpleasant it is for me?”

“Oh, yes. But I don't care to go out at present.”

He lit his cigar at the candle on the mantel-shelf. Then he sat down again and smoked quietly and looked into the fre. She looked at him and sighed.

And, without knowing how it happened and without intendingit, she suddenly felt her heart touched and her eyes grew moist:

“Are you not happy, Cordt?”

He looked up and gazed at her:

“No.”

“And it is my fault? Because your wife is a silly woman, who wants to go out every day?”

“You are not that, Adelheid.”

“Because I am an empty, restless, modern creature?”

“You are not that.”

“What am I then, Cordt?”

He took her hand and kissed it and smiled to her:

“You are my wife, Adelheid. And we have a little baby, we two, and perhaps will have another.”

“No,”she said and drew her hand away.“No, Cordt. That was only my nonsense.”

He said nothing. His hand fell down slackly and he turned paler than she could remember ever having seen him. She was afraid that he was ill and stooped over him and called to him.

He did not see her, did not hear her.

She could not take her eyes from him. She thought he could not look more distressed if their boy were dead. She felt it as an appalling shame, that she herself was glad of it; and she dreaded lest he should look at her.

Then he did and read her thoughts.

And she grew worse and worse the more she saw him grieve. She did not understand it, felt troubled by it.

And, as there was no anger in his eyes, it grew worse for her still. She cast about for a word that could make him move and saysomething, no matter what.

But he sat still and silent and slowly turned his face away from her. And she could fnd nothing to say.

She rose and went to the window and stood there for a while. Then she came back and sat down in a chair:

“What are you thinking of, Cordt?”

“Of you.”

Again they sat silent.

“Adelheid.”

He spoke her name quite calmly and gently, but she was frightened.

“I will fght for you, Adelheid; I mean to fght for you; and the new little baby would have helped me. Now I shall have to fight alone.”

She remembered vaguely that this phrase had once been uttered between them, but she did not understand him.

“I will stake life and happiness to win you,”he said.“I will talk to you and importune you and conquer you. I will take you in my arms and close my door against you and run after you and forgive you.”

“And, if you don't win me?”

“I shall win you.”

“But if?”

She looked at his mouth, while she listened for the answer. It came quite calmly; he did not even look at her:

“Then I shall cast you off.”

Fru Adelheid closed her eyes tightly and then opened them wide:

“Better cast me off at once, Cordt. If you can.”

“I can't. We have the baby. And we are fond of each other.”

“I don't know,”she said.

“What don't you know ?”

She did not answer, only shook her head.

“You shall have your liberty,”he said.“Go out as much as you please, amuse yourself, fll the house with guests. Be gay and melancholy the whole day long, as your fate decides. Go away, if you feel inclined.”

“And will you never go with me?”

“As little as possible. I will not fght for you out there. I won you there once and I am not afraid for you…that way. There, in any case, I need not trouble to win you again.”

“And then?”

“Then you will know that you can find me here any evening. Here is where I shall live.”

He rose and walked slowly through the room. Fru Adelheid let herself slip to the foor and lay there with her cheek on the fender and stared before her. She saw him return and stand beside her and go and come back again.

“Cordt,”she said,“I shall never come here.”

“You can do about that as you please.”

He sat down and rested his head on his hand:

“My ancestor well knew what he was doing, when he built this sacred nuptial secret chamber in his rich, new house…h(huán)igh above the street, far from the day's work…and the night's. He saw deep and far.”

“It is the torture-chamber of the house,”said Fru Adelheid.“Iam certain that many women have wept bitterly in here.”

He half rose in his seat and passed his hand over his forehead.

“I am frightened, Cordt. You want to ill-use me. I can't do what you wish. Shall we talk somewhere else…in your room, Cordt?”

“No,”he said.“Our place is here. Here we are bound to be.”

He stood up and sat down again at once. His eyes glittered as he spoke:

“Here they all sat, the men who lived in the house and their wives…in joy and in sorrow. Their faces look at us from every corner, their words whisper all around…. Can you not hear my great-grandmother's spinning-wheel?…Do you not hear the spinet singing?”

“Yes, Cordt.”

“Here our words become greater and weightier in the stillness. Here we grow more powerful in our affection and our anger. Whatever we can do we can do here. They knew something, those old, big men and women.”

She rose and stood before him, leaning against the mantel, tall and white:

“They knew how to keep discipline in their house,”she said.

She looked at him and there was pride and fear and anger about her red mouth and in her strange eyes.

“That they did,”he said.“God bless them for it in their graves!”

She sat down in the old chair and put her arms around the jar, where the man writhed through thorns. She stared at the man's face and it was as though she were with him and felt the thorns in her fesh.

“Here also it was that we two bound ourselves to each other forgood and all, Adelheid. That evening when we put our names to the old yellow paper there, in the wall. Then you pledged yourself to this room, which you hate. And, when the time comes, our son will come here with the woman who shall be his joy.”

He went out on the balcony and came back, white and wet with snow. He brought the cold in with him and she shivered. He stood silent by the fre and then began to walk about again. She listened to his step and waited for a word and could fnd nothing to say.

Then she went to the old spinet and sat down and sang:

My Lenore, how dark and drear

The burden of daylight's bringing!

No music of chiming hours I hear,

No birds in the sunlight singing.

Sweet Lenore, O lady mine,

Bright-eyed, as the day wanes weaker,

Now pledge me deep in the golden wine

Night pours from her fragrant beaker.

The violets watch us, blue in the plain,

Not a star our secret misses.

Kiss me, Lenore, and kiss me again

And give me a thousand kisses.

The slender tones sang through the room, when she stopped.

She listened, but could not hear his footstep. He was sitting in one of the big chairs and did not move.

She looked at him for a moment over her shoulder. Then she rose and closed the instrument, with as much noise as she could:

“Good-night, Cordt.”

“Good-night.”

Then she turned very red and very pale and went away with moist and angry eyes.

第四章

入冬以來(lái)的第一場(chǎng)雪降臨了,靜靜地染白了陽(yáng)臺(tái),麻雀在積雪上面繡著圖案。

紅色的鮮花擺在溫暖的房?jī)?nèi),看上去很是可憐。一張大桌子被放在房間靠里的位置,桌上擺了一盞臺(tái)燈和一堆書。

科特很早就來(lái)了。

他徑直走到桌子旁,坐了下來(lái),打開一本書。一會(huì)兒,他又站到窗戶前向外面望。

天色漸暗。這是一個(gè)潮濕而霧蒙蒙的夜晚,一束單薄微紅的燈光在透著寒氣濕漉漉的屋頂后閃爍。廣場(chǎng)上的雪已融化成雪泥。噴泉悄無(wú)聲息,掩埋在一堆木板和廢松木下。

科特再一次坐下開始閱讀。不久他又站起來(lái),看了看手表,走向窗戶那里,然后開始在房間里不斷徘徊,最終再次坐了下來(lái)。他點(diǎn)了支雪茄,又把它掐滅了。然后他離開了,一個(gè)小時(shí)后又回來(lái),重復(fù)做著這些事情。

快到午夜的時(shí)候,有馬車穿過(guò)了大門,五分鐘后,阿德爾海德站在屋里,高挑而白皙,大大的眼睛撲閃著。

“你玩得開心嗎,阿德爾海德?”

阿德爾海德知道,科特并不在乎這問(wèn)題的答案,因此她也就沒(méi)有直接回答。

“我快凍死了?!彼f(shuō)。

阿德爾海德把自己的那把椅子使勁拖向壁爐旁,然后把自己蜷縮在椅子里,把腳搭在了壁爐的圍欄上。

“他們都在詢問(wèn)你的近況,科特。”

“當(dāng)然。”

科特翻了翻書頁(yè),然后合上了書,把自己的椅子拉向阿德爾海德。他坐下來(lái),手托著臉,看起來(lái)很疲倦。

“科特,你打算成天都坐在這間屋子里嗎?”

“不,只在晚上,當(dāng)我沒(méi)什么事可做的時(shí)候,我就愛待在這間屋子里?!?/p>

阿德爾海德雙手緊握,閉上了眼睛。

“我討厭這屋子,”她說(shuō),“我們之間所有的不愉快都來(lái)自這里?!?/p>

科特沒(méi)有回應(yīng),他走到桌子那里拿雪茄。當(dāng)科特重重地蓋上雪茄盒時(shí),阿德爾海德突然感覺(jué)到了什么,整個(gè)人不舒服起來(lái)。

“科特,你打算跟我們的熟人都斷絕聯(lián)系嗎?”

“沒(méi)有,”科特說(shuō)道,“我不會(huì)的。但剛才我不想出去?!?/p>

“你覺(jué)得我們的朋友會(huì)怎么說(shuō)???”

“他們想怎么說(shuō)就怎么說(shuō)吧?!?/p>

“難道你就不想想,這一切讓我很不愉快嗎?”

“當(dāng)然。但是我目前不愿意出去?!?/p>

科特用壁爐架上點(diǎn)著的蠟燭點(diǎn)燃了雪茄,之后他坐了下來(lái),靜靜地抽著雪茄,望著火爐。阿德爾海德看著科特,嘆了口氣。

不知怎么的,阿德爾海德突然感到心被觸動(dòng)了,她的眼睛濕潤(rùn)了,“你不快樂(lè)嗎,科特?”

科特抬起頭,注視著她,“是的。”

“這是我的錯(cuò)嗎?因?yàn)槟愕钠拮邮且粋€(gè)愚蠢的女人,整天就想著出去交際?”

“你不是那樣的,阿德爾海德。”

“因?yàn)槲沂且粋€(gè)輕浮不安分的現(xiàn)代產(chǎn)物嗎?”

“你不是那樣的?!?/p>

“那我是哪樣的,科特?”

他牽起了她的手,吻了吻,然后朝她笑了笑,“你是我的妻子,阿德爾海德。我們還有個(gè)孩子,將來(lái)我們可能還會(huì)再生一個(gè)。”

“不,”阿德爾海德抽回了自己的手,“不,科特。我不會(huì)再要了。”

科特什么都沒(méi)有說(shuō)。他的手無(wú)力地垂了下來(lái),他的臉色從未像現(xiàn)在這樣蒼白。阿德爾海德注意到科特的反應(yīng),她擔(dān)心科特是生病了,于是彎下腰來(lái),輕輕地呼喚著他的名字。

但科特沒(méi)有看她,也沒(méi)有聽她的呼喚。

阿德爾海德無(wú)法將視線從科特身上挪開。她心里想到,就是他們的孩子死掉,科特的反應(yīng)也不過(guò)如此了。阿德爾海德為自己在這件事情上感到開心而覺(jué)得極其羞恥。她害怕極了,唯恐科特會(huì)看她。

就在這時(shí),科特望向阿德爾海德,并捕捉到了她心里的想法。

阿德爾海德看到科特越來(lái)越沮喪,她內(nèi)心的開心就越發(fā)不可收拾。她不能理解自己這樣的情緒反應(yīng),并深深地為此感到困擾。

科特的眼睛里,并沒(méi)有一絲憤怒,阿德爾海德在腦海中搜尋著,想要想出一個(gè)詞能讓科特說(shuō)點(diǎn)兒什么或是動(dòng)一動(dòng)。

但是科特就一直靜靜地坐在那里,慢慢地扭轉(zhuǎn)了頭,不再看阿德爾海德。而阿德爾海德也不知道要說(shuō)些什么。

她站了起來(lái),走到窗戶那里,在那里站了一會(huì)兒。之后她又走回來(lái),坐到了一把椅子里,“你在想什么,科特?”

“想你?!?/p>

屋子里的兩人再次陷入沉默。

“阿德爾海德?!?/p>

他溫柔平靜地喊著她的名字,但是她卻被嚇到了。

“我會(huì)為你而戰(zhàn),阿德爾海德,我是說(shuō)我會(huì)去爭(zhēng)奪你,原本我們未來(lái)的孩子應(yīng)該能幫我,但現(xiàn)在我只能孤身奮斗了?!?/p>

阿德爾海德隱約記得這句話似乎在什么時(shí)候被說(shuō)過(guò),但那時(shí)她并沒(méi)有理解科特的意思。

“我會(huì)以生命和快樂(lè)作賭注去為你而戰(zhàn),”他說(shuō),“我會(huì)跟你聊天,一直糾纏你并征服你。我會(huì)把你抱在懷中,把你的后路阻斷,然后去追逐你,原諒你?!?/p>

“那如果你沒(méi)有贏得我呢?”

“我會(huì)贏得你的?!?/p>

“但如果沒(méi)有呢?”

她看著科特的嘴巴,等待他的答案。這答案來(lái)得異常平靜,科特甚至都沒(méi)看阿德爾海德,自顧自地說(shuō)道:

“如果沒(méi)有,那我就拋棄你?!?/p>

阿德爾海德緊緊地閉上眼,又大大地睜開,“最好能立刻拋棄我,科特。如果你能做到的話?!?/p>

“我做不到。我們有個(gè)孩子,而且我們還喜歡著對(duì)方?!?/p>

“我不確定?!卑⒌聽柡5抡f(shuō)。

“你不確定什么?”

阿德爾海德沒(méi)有再回答,只是搖了搖頭。

“你將得到你想要的自由,”科特說(shuō),“你可以盡情地去外面玩,盡情開心,邀請(qǐng)客人都來(lái)家里做客。隨你的性子去開心去憂傷。你現(xiàn)在就可以去了,如果你想的話。”

“那你再也不會(huì)跟我一起了嗎?”

“不可能了。我不會(huì)在那種地方追你了。我曾在那里得到了你,而且我也不擔(dān)心你……那方面。無(wú)論怎樣,我不會(huì)再費(fèi)力在那樣的場(chǎng)合去追你了?!?/p>

“那之后呢?”

“你知道你可以在任何夜晚在這間屋子里找到我。這里是我將長(zhǎng)久生活的地方?!?/p>

科特站起來(lái),慢慢地穿過(guò)屋子。阿德爾海德從椅子上滑到了地板上,臉靠著壁爐圍欄,眼睛死死地盯著前方。她看著科特走了過(guò)來(lái),站在她身邊,然后又走了回去。

“科特,”阿德爾海德說(shuō),“我永遠(yuǎn)都不會(huì)再來(lái)這里。”

“你隨意。”

科特坐了下來(lái),雙手托著頭,說(shuō)道:

“我的祖先,在他富麗堂皇的新房子里建造了這間神圣的婚姻密室時(shí),他很清楚地知道他當(dāng)時(shí)在做什么。這屋子高高在上,遠(yuǎn)離日間和夜晚的工作生活。他看得非常深遠(yuǎn)?!?/p>

“這屋子是一個(gè)折磨人的地方,”阿德爾海德說(shuō),“我敢肯定,很多女人都曾在這里痛苦地流淚。”

科特欠身,手放在了前額。

“我害怕極了,科特。你想虐待我。我沒(méi)辦法照你希望的去做。我們?nèi)e的地方聊天,去你的房間吧,科特?”

“不,”科特說(shuō),“我們就在這里。我們注定要在這里。”

他站起來(lái)又立刻坐下,眼里閃著光,“他們都曾坐在這里,那些在這座房子里生活的男主人和他們的妻子榮辱與共。他們注視著我們,他們的低語(yǔ)在這周圍回蕩,你難道聽不到我曾祖母的紡車聲嗎?你聽不到鋼琴的聲音嗎?”

“是的,科特?!?/p>

“在這里,我們的言語(yǔ)在這靜謐中變得更重大。在這里,我們的愛和憤怒都更有力量。我們不論做什么,都可以在這里完成。他們明白,那些年老的男人和女人是明白的?!?/p>

阿德爾海德起身站在科特面前,倚著壁爐上的架子,高挑而白皙,“他們知道如何在這房子里遵守規(guī)則?!?/p>

阿德爾海德看著科特,她紅艷的嘴唇和陌生的眼神中顯示著驕傲、害怕和憤怒。

“他們確實(shí)做到了這一點(diǎn),”科特說(shuō),“上帝保佑已經(jīng)身葬墳?zāi)估锏乃麄儯 ?/p>

阿德爾海德坐了下來(lái),抱著那個(gè)陶罐,罐子上的男人仍在荊棘中扭動(dòng)著。她盯著那男人的臉,就好像她跟他在一起,一并感受到了荊棘的刺痛。

“也是在這里,阿德爾海德,我們注定要跟彼此永遠(yuǎn)在一起。那晚我們把我們的名字寫在那張古老泛黃的紙上,封在墻里,你向這個(gè)屋子起過(guò)誓,雖然你很討厭那么做。而且,不久之后,我們的兒子也將帶著能給他幸福的女人來(lái)到這里?!?/p>

科特走到陽(yáng)臺(tái)又走了回來(lái),身上落滿了白雪。寒氣入室,阿德爾海德打了個(gè)冷戰(zhàn)。他靜靜地在火爐旁站了一會(huì)兒,又開始在屋里踱步。阿德爾海德聽著他的腳步聲,想要說(shuō)點(diǎn)兒什么,卻一句話都說(shuō)不出來(lái)。

然后她走向那架古老的鋼琴,坐在鋼琴前,開始唱:

我的麗諾爾,白晝帶來(lái)的負(fù)擔(dān),

是多么憂郁而悲傷!

我聽不到悅耳的鐘聲,

也沒(méi)有小鳥在日光里歌唱。

親愛的麗諾爾,哦,我的女神,

你眼睛如此明亮,白晝都顯得暗淡,

一定要給我金色的美酒,

是夜晚從她那芬芳的罐子中傾倒。

紫羅蘭看著我們,草原上的藍(lán)色,

我們的秘密不會(huì)錯(cuò)過(guò)任何一顆星星。

親吻我吧,麗諾爾,再次親吻我,

千萬(wàn)次地親吻我。

輕柔的旋律穿透屋子,然后阿德爾海德停了下來(lái)。

她仔細(xì)聽了聽,已經(jīng)聽不到科特的腳步聲。此時(shí)科特坐在其中一個(gè)大椅子里,一動(dòng)不動(dòng)。

阿德爾海德扭過(guò)頭看了科特一會(huì)兒,然后她站起來(lái),合上鋼琴,故意弄出很大的聲響,“晚安,科特?!?/p>

“晚安?!?/p>

阿德爾海德臉色一陣白一陣紅,眼睛濕潤(rùn),生氣地離開了屋子。

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