I went home with my head in the clouds, and my heart on fire with love. All that week I could not stop thinking about Lorna, and I did my work on the farm in a dream. Soon, I went to see her again.
This time when she saw me, she came quickly towards me. 'Mr Ridd, are you mad?' she said. 'There are men on guard all round the valley. We must hide at once.' She took my hand and led me to her secret place, which was a kind of room hidden in the rock of the mountain. It was a green, peaceful place, open to the sky above, but the only way into it was through a narrow entrance in a cave.
I gave her the eggs I had brought her as a present, and at this she began to cry.
What have I done?' I asked.
It's nothing you've done,' she said. 'It's just a sadness that I feel when I see anything from the world outside — and you've been very kind, and I'm not used to kindness.'
I wanted to put my arms around her, and kiss her, but I knew this would be wrong. So I sat and listened, and I think this made her like me more, because she began to tell me her life story. She told me everything — everything except what her feelings were towards John Ridd.
Only two people ever listen to me, or try to help me,' she began. 'One is my grandfather, Sir Ensor Doone, and the other is my uncle, a clever man, whom they call the Counsellor. My grandfather is a very old and very hard man — except with me. He seems to know what is right and wrong, but not to want to think about it. And the Counsellor smiles a lot and talks about what is right and good — but he never does a good thing himself.'
My Aunt Sabina used to take care of me, and she taught me very carefully. She was a good person, honest and kind, and when she died, it was like losing a mother. Now there is only one woman I can talk to — Gwenny, my servant. She is my closest friend.'
I don't remember my father, but they say he was the eldest son of Sir Ensor Doone, and the bravest and best of them all. They say, because of that, that I am their "Queen".'
I dream of a world outside this one, Mr Ridd — a world of peace. This valley is green and beautiful, but all around me is violence and robbery, and stupid behaviour. I can't come down to their level. I can't forget myself and live like them. And strange questions come to me, that they can never answer. When I try to think about the past, about my early childhood, I can't remember anything. I want to know what I am, and why I am in this place. I suppose you think that's strange. Perhaps people who are happy and at peace don't need to ask questions like those.'
Here, Lorna began to cry again. I could think of nothing to say, but I dried her eyes for her.
Mr Ridd, I am ashamed and angry at myself for talking so much, like this. But you, who have a mother who loves you, and sisters, and a quiet home, can't tell how lonely it is to live as I do.'
I have this secret place to come to, because I begged them for it. Only grandfather and the Counsellor come here — and sometimes Carver, the Counsellor's son. No one in the valley is as strong or brave as him. But he is not like his father. He is rough and violent, always quick to be angry, and will listen to no opinion except his own. There is talk of him wanting to marry me, but I would rather die than marry Carver Doone.'
Now you see how unhappy I am here. I would escape, and go anywhere, but I know it would hurt my grandfather.'
This was too much for Lorna, and she couldn't tell me any more. She broke down and cried. I talked to her gently and kindly until she began to worry again about the danger I was in. I said I would come back and see her again, but she made me promise not to come back for another month — so that I would not add to her problems with fears about me. During that time, we agreed that if she were in any danger, she would put a dark coat over a white rock, near her secret room. I would be able to see this from a hill above the valley, and then I would come.
with one's head in the clouds full of idealistic dreams; out of touch with reality 想入非非地
dream of v. think of something that you would like to happen 向往;夢(mèng)想
rough adj. not gentle; violent or boisterous 粗魯?shù)?/p>
escape v. break free from confinement or control 逃走
我心中燃燒著愛(ài)的烈火,想入非非地回到了家。整整那一周,我都無(wú)法停止對(duì)洛娜的思念,像夢(mèng)游一般在農(nóng)莊上勞作。很快,我又去見(jiàn)她了。
這一次她看見(jiàn)我時(shí),飛快地朝我走了過(guò)來(lái)?!袄锏孪壬?,你瘋了嗎?”她說(shuō),“山谷周圍全都有人站崗,我們必須馬上躲起來(lái)。”她拉著我的手,將我?guī)У剿拿孛懿厣碇?。那是隱藏在山上巖石間的一小塊地方。那里樹(shù)陰濃密,十分幽靜,抬頭就能看見(jiàn)天空,而唯一的通道就是山洞的一條狹窄的入口。
我將帶來(lái)的雞蛋作為禮物送給了她,她看到這情形立刻哭了起來(lái)。
“我做錯(cuò)什么了嗎?”我問(wèn)。
“跟你沒(méi)關(guān)系,”她說(shuō),“只是當(dāng)我看見(jiàn)來(lái)自外面世界的東西時(shí),就會(huì)有一種悲傷的感覺(jué)——而你又一直對(duì)我這么好,我不太習(xí)慣有人對(duì)我好?!?/p>
我想伸出雙臂擁她入懷、親吻她,但我知道這樣做是不對(duì)的,于是便坐下來(lái)聽(tīng)她說(shuō)話。我想這樣讓她更喜歡我了,因?yàn)樗_(kāi)始給我講述她的故事。她把一切都告訴了我——除了她對(duì)約翰·里德的感覺(jué)。
“只有兩個(gè)人會(huì)聽(tīng)我說(shuō)話,會(huì)盡量幫助我,”她娓娓道來(lái),“一個(gè)是我的祖父恩索爾·杜恩爵士,另一個(gè)是我的叔父,他是個(gè)聰明人,大家都叫他親王。我祖父是個(gè)年邁而且極難相處的人——對(duì)我例外。他似乎知道何為善惡對(duì)錯(cuò),但卻不愿去想。親王則總是笑呵呵的,喜歡高談闊論何為正義善良——但自己卻從不干什么好事?!?/p>
“薩比娜阿姨過(guò)去時(shí)常照顧我,還非常用心地教導(dǎo)我。她是個(gè)好人,為人誠(chéng)實(shí)善良。她過(guò)世的時(shí)候,我難過(guò)得像失去了生母?,F(xiàn)在我只能跟一個(gè)女人說(shuō)話了——那就是格溫妮,我的女仆。她是我最親密的朋友?!?/p>
“我對(duì)我父親沒(méi)什么印象,但聽(tīng)他們說(shuō),我父親是思索爾·杜恩爵士的大兒子,也是他最勇敢、最出色的兒子。他們說(shuō),正因?yàn)槿绱耍揖褪撬麄兊摹酢??!?/p>
“我向往著一個(gè)不同于這里的世界,里德先生——一個(gè)祥和的世界。這片山谷青翠美麗,但我身邊卻充斥著暴力、搶劫和愚蠢的行為。我不能淪落到他們那種地步。我不能迷失自我,像他們那樣生活。而且我會(huì)想出一些他們永遠(yuǎn)也無(wú)法回答的怪問(wèn)題。每當(dāng)我試圖回憶過(guò)去、回憶自己的孩提時(shí)代時(shí),我總是什么都想不起來(lái)。我想知道自己是什么人、為什么會(huì)在這里。我想你一定覺(jué)得這很奇怪。也許快樂(lè)平和的人不需要問(wèn)這種問(wèn)題?!?/p>
說(shuō)到這兒,洛娜又開(kāi)始哭泣了。我不知道該說(shuō)什么才好,只能為她擦干眼淚。
“里德先生,真是慚愧,我嘮嘮叨叨說(shuō)了這么多話,真有點(diǎn)氣我自己。但你有疼愛(ài)你的母親,有妹妹們,還有一個(gè)安寧的家,你無(wú)法了解像我這樣生活有多么孤寂?!?/p>
“我向他們苦苦哀求,才得以來(lái)到這個(gè)隱秘的地方。只有祖父和親王會(huì)來(lái)這兒——親王的兒子卡弗偶爾也會(huì)來(lái)。山谷里沒(méi)人比他更強(qiáng)壯勇猛。但他并不像他的父親。他粗暴易怒、一意孤行。有傳言說(shuō)他想娶我,但我寧死也不愿嫁給卡弗·杜恩?!?/p>
“現(xiàn)在你明白我在這兒有多么不開(kāi)心了吧。我可以逃走,到別的地方去,但我知道這樣會(huì)傷祖父的心?!?/p>
這些話極大地觸動(dòng)了洛娜的傷心處,她已經(jīng)無(wú)法繼續(xù)對(duì)我講下去了。她情緒失控,哭了起來(lái)。我溫柔而親切地安撫著她,直到她再次為我身處險(xiǎn)境擔(dān)憂起來(lái)。我說(shuō)會(huì)再回來(lái)看她,但她要我保證一個(gè)月內(nèi)不再來(lái)——免得她除了自己的煩惱外,還要為我擔(dān)心。那一次,我們約定如果她遇到什么危險(xiǎn),就在她的秘密山洞附近的一塊白色巖石上放一件深色外套。我能從山谷上面的小山上看見(jiàn)這外套,然后就會(huì)趕過(guò)來(lái)。
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