第一次約會(huì)該由誰(shuí)買單?
第一次約會(huì)該由誰(shuí)買單?
約會(huì)該由誰(shuí)買單?大部分妹子也許會(huì)說不買單的男朋友不是好老公，但也有人認(rèn)為，男女平等，憑啥妹子不付錢?關(guān)于約會(huì)中的“經(jīng)濟(jì)問題”，來聽聽心理學(xué)教授是怎么說的吧!
Who should pay for the first date? The majority says it’s the guy’s responsibility. A survey released this month found that about 77 percent of people in heterosexual relationships believe men should settle the bill on the first date. The survey was put together by US financial website NerdWallet. The site polled roughly 1,000 Americans who had been dating their partners for six months or more.
第一次約會(huì)該由誰(shuí)買單?多數(shù)人認(rèn)為這是男士的責(zé)任。本月初，美國(guó)財(cái)經(jīng)網(wǎng)站NerdWallet公布了一項(xiàng)針對(duì)近1000名交往6個(gè)月及以上情侶的調(diào)查結(jié)果。數(shù)據(jù)顯示，77%(異性戀)受訪者認(rèn)為應(yīng)該由男士來買單。
The financial chivalry began when, in the past, women had no access to employment and therefore couldn’t fend themselves financially. But nowadays, more and more women have become the breadwinners. According to The Atlantic, between 1960 and 2011 in the US, the proportion of two-parent US households in which the mother earned all or most of the income roughly quadrupled.
過去，這種勇于付款的“騎士精神”是因?yàn)榕詻]有工作，不能經(jīng)濟(jì)獨(dú)立。但現(xiàn)如今，越來越多的女性都成為養(yǎng)家糊口的主力軍，據(jù)美國(guó)《大西洋月刊》報(bào)道，從1960年到2011年，美國(guó)雙親家庭中母親是家中主要或全部經(jīng)濟(jì)來源的家庭所占比例幾乎翻了兩番。
So why, amid economic changes and gender equity advancements, are men still expected to pay for the bill?
那么，在經(jīng)濟(jì)變革、兩性更加平等的今天，為什么依舊應(yīng)該由男士來買單呢?
“As social roles start to change, people often embrace the changes that make their lives easier, but resist the changes that make their lives more difficult,” David Frederick, a professor of psychology at Chapman University, US, told The Huffington Post. “Who pays for dates … is one arena where women may be resisting gender changes more than men,” he suggested.
美國(guó)柴普曼大學(xué)心理學(xué)教授大衛(wèi)•弗里德瑞克在接受《赫芬頓郵報(bào)》采訪時(shí)表示，“在社會(huì)角色開始發(fā)生變化時(shí)，人們往往愿意接受那些使生活更容易的變化，排斥令生活更麻煩的變化。而誰(shuí)來買單的問題?(在這個(gè)問題上)女性比男性更抗拒性別角色的變化。”
Men pay more
男士付得多
Frederick is a co-author of a study released last year that also found men tend to pay for dates. The study was larger than NerdWallet’s and polled about 17,000 people, according to The Atlantic. The study also found 39 percent of its female respondents admitted that they hoped men would reject their offers to help pay. Frederick and his colleagues called paying for dates “a rare case” in which women are motivated not to fight old-school gender dynamics. In the same way, men who are no longer breadwinners aren’t as eager to take up domestic responsibilities such as parenting and homemaking.
弗里德瑞克教授去年與別人共同進(jìn)行的一項(xiàng)研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，男士依舊是約會(huì)買單的主力?！洞笪餮笤驴穲?bào)道稱，這項(xiàng)調(diào)查的規(guī)模比NerdWallet網(wǎng)站的還大，約17000人參與了調(diào)查。數(shù)據(jù)顯示，39%女性受訪者承認(rèn)就算自己提出買單要求，內(nèi)心仍希望男士搶著付錢。弗里德瑞克教授和他的同事們認(rèn)為，這是女性不抵觸傳統(tǒng)性別角色的“特例”。與之類似的還有，男士雖然不再獨(dú)挑養(yǎng)家糊口的重?fù)?dān)，卻仍不愿承擔(dān)教育小孩、操持家務(wù)等家庭責(zé)任。
Many people would argue men’s paying for dates is a form of respecting women. But Joe Pinsker, writing in The Atlantic, says this seemingly “benevolent” form of sexism can lead to a sense of entitlement on men’s part — they tend to think that women owe them because they have paid.
不少人認(rèn)為男士在約會(huì)時(shí)買單是一種對(duì)女性的尊重。但喬•皮斯科在美國(guó)《大西洋月刊》上撰文稱，這種看似“善意”的大男子主義會(huì)讓男人感覺自己擁有更多權(quán)利——他們?yōu)榧s會(huì)買單，因此認(rèn)為女性對(duì)他們有所虧欠。
Money can twist men’s opinion of sexual consent. Pinsker cites a 2010 study published in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence. It found that men were more likely than women to think that sex should be expected when a man pays for an expensive date.
此外，付錢還會(huì)讓男性將其誤解為允許發(fā)生性關(guān)系的許可。皮斯科還援引了一份2010年發(fā)表于《人際暴力雜志》的調(diào)查，其結(jié)果顯示，在為昂貴的約會(huì)買單后，男性比女性更容易認(rèn)為將與對(duì)方發(fā)生關(guān)系。
This really is disturbing. But Frederick found something optimistic in his study that might serve as a warning to some women. Almost half of the men surveyed in the study he co-authored said that they would break up with a woman if she never offered to help pay the bill on a date. “In this single telling finding about dating and paying interactions, we see evidence of a sea change,” Frederick wrote.
這確實(shí)讓人感到不安，但弗里德瑞克教授在他的研究中也發(fā)現(xiàn)了一些好消息，供一些女士參考：調(diào)查中，幾乎一半男性都表示如果約會(huì)對(duì)象從未有過要買單的意思，他們會(huì)選擇分手。弗里德瑞克教授說，“從這一結(jié)果可以看出，在約會(huì)與買單的互動(dòng)關(guān)系上，我們可以看到巨大的不同。”
