學會這4個愛情秘訣 讓你永遠處在熱戀期

Relationships are love and war. Until you get to the war part of it, it's hard to realize how much work is actually required to maintain your patience, affection and commitment. There are ways you can reinforce and strengthen your relationship so both of you can bounce back from difficult phases as painlessly as possible. Here are five tips:

感情關乎愛和戰(zhàn)爭。直到參與了這場“戰(zhàn)爭”，你才會意識到為了保持你的耐心、對另一半的愛慕以及兌現(xiàn)那些曾經(jīng)許下的諾言，你需要付出多少。以下有5個方法，能夠使你們的感情更加堅固，從而盡快脫離感情低潮。

1. Small gestures count big-time.Consistent 'little things' can add up to one resilient relationship. I'm a believer in Dr. Gottman's 5:1 ratio. The theory is: for every negative action, it takes five positive actions to restore stability in a relationship. Therefore, it's important to build up that positivity whenever you can. Frequent small gestures, such as"thinking of you" text messages, love notes and more are great ways to do this.

1. 小行動，大作用。那些“小小行為”不斷地累計，就會使你的感情迅速恢復。我篤信戈特曼博士的五比一概率理論。理論的內(nèi)容是：要恢復感情的穩(wěn)定，五個積極的行動才能抵消一個消極的行動。因此，盡可能的保持你的積極性就顯得很重要。經(jīng)常性的小動作，比如那些“我想你了”之類的短信或者是愛的便條，亦或其他行為都可以起到相同的作用。

2. Talk, don't read.Ever have a hunch that your significant other isn't telling you something?Because relationships (and people) go through phases. It's your time to let the other know that you're feeling left out, or disconnected. Most importantly, remember to open the conversation from a curious standpoint, not confrontational or accusatory.

2. 說，不要讀。是不是總覺得你的另一半根本什么都不講給你聽呢?因為感情(或是人)會經(jīng)歷不同的階段。是時候讓你的另一半知道，你感覺自己被TA忽略了，沒有感覺到彼此的關聯(lián)。更重要的是，記住要以好奇的角度而不是以一種對抗和指責的氛圍開啟談話。

3. Listen, don't talk.It's easy to get caught up in multi-tasking. All of these things can prevent couples from hearing each other completely and communicating well. Always listen to what your loved one is telling you. Four tips for listening better are: focus on your partner, don't interrupt, pay attention to their body language and validate what they said- before you respond.

3. 聽，不要說。人們很容易被很多事務纏身。這些事情使得夫妻倆不能互相傾聽，也不能夠很好地溝通和交流。要經(jīng)常聽聽你的摯愛對你的傾訴。最好的4個傾聽方式是：注意力集中到你愛人的身上、不要打斷、注意他們的肢體語言以及在你回應之前要確認他們說的是什么。

4. Put up a good fight.Love is wonderful, but it can also be emotionally exhausting. The popular saying 'Don't go to bed angry' can put pressure on a couple to resolve something that doesn't always have a quick solution. By following that rule, you may be at the giving or receiving end of lip service. Take time to authenticaly resolve a problem. It could take hours or days, and several heated conversations, but do not give up when your relationship is worth fighting for.

4. 為愛而戰(zhàn)。愛情是很美妙的，但是愛情也很耗精力。那句很流行的說法“不要帶著怨氣去睡覺”，給了夫妻倆壓力，得去解決那些無法快速解決的問題。這樣，你們或許最終通過口頭上說些好聽話而平息了爭吵。真正花時間去解決問題吧?；蛟S是幾個小時、幾天的時間也或許要幾經(jīng)激烈的爭論，但只要是感情值得抗爭，那就別輕言放棄。