五招讓你成功找回自信！

Sometimes we need help remembering how great we really are. Here's how to get it.

有時自信是我們自己找不來的，下面的五個方法可以幫助你重回自信：

How much do you believe in yourself? For most of the answer is: not enough. Instead of looking proudly at our accomplishments, we focus on the things we haven't yet done, and on the mistakes we’ve made. No wonder we find it hard to pitch big clients and investors, sell ourselves as the best, or demand the pay we deserve.

你有多么相信自己的實(shí)力?大多數(shù)的回答是：并不怎么相信。很多時間，我們喜歡淪陷在失敗的陰影中，忽略掉光輝的成就。難怪找不到大客戶和投資者，不能成功地推銷自己，老板欺負(fù)你不好好給你發(fā)工資也沒處訴苦。

The problem is that many of us take an unrealistically negative view of ourselves and our work, says executive coach and bestselling author Wendy Capland. "We teeter between thinking ‘I'm not enough，’and ‘I'm not even ready to be enough，’" she says.

這些問題都是源自我們傾向于悲觀看自己和工作的態(tài)度，作為執(zhí)行訓(xùn)練師兼暢銷書作者的溫迪·開普蘭如是說。“我們總是在‘我做得不夠好’和‘我沒準(zhǔn)備好變得優(yōu)秀’這兩者之間搖擺”。

But we don't have to stay there. There are simple things we all can do to get a more clear-eyed-and positive-view of ourselves and our accomplishments. And then, Capland says, "We can step into who we already are." Here are some simple techniques that work well for Capland’s clients, and for Capland herself. Try them next time you need to increase your own confidence：

事實(shí)上我們不用這樣搖擺下去。很多簡單的小事都可以讓我們活得明白并且積極向上。開普蘭說：“我們需要發(fā)現(xiàn)的自我其實(shí)一直都在那里”以下便是幾條在開普蘭和他顧客看來都行之有效的方法。當(dāng)你需要獲得自信時可以試一試。

1.Vent to someone who knows you well.

向理解你的人傾吐心聲

"One thing I do for myself is I whine to people who know me about how something isn't working or I’m not getting the clients I want, or not taking big strides toward my next goal," Capland says. "And then they remind me of what I bring to the table, and my gifts and talents, and look how much I've done."

“可能有些事情不如預(yù)期那么順利，也可能是我沒能搞定客戶，或者是我在前進(jìn)的路上躊躇不前的時候，我會做的一件事是向知道我難處的人倒倒苦水。”開普蘭說，“然后他們會告訴我，我其實(shí)已經(jīng)做了很多，給我指出我的稟賦，讓我看清我已經(jīng)做出的貢獻(xiàn)。”

Chances are, there are people in your own life who know how much you've accomplished and can remind you what those accomplishments are when you're feeling frustrated or helpless. Talking to these people is one of the best things you can do to give yourself the confidence you need.

其實(shí)就是這樣，當(dāng)你無助而頹喪時，你生命中總會出現(xiàn)理解你的辛勞，告訴你你的成就的人。和這種人談話能讓你的自信感倍增。

2.Make an already-done list

做一份“已完成”清單

Many of us live by to-do lists. (Mine has 14 items on it right now and growing.) But what about an already-done list that takes a look at the tasks you've complete and all the projects at work and elements of your life that are working really well for you? I'm willing to bet there are a lot of things in your life that you're very proud of, and most of them wouldn't be there without your hard work, dedication, and love.

大多數(shù)人都要做“計劃做”清單(我的清單一般有14件事情然后越變越多)。但如果是做一份“已完成”清單，記錄下你圓滿完成、頗有成就、讓你感覺很好的事情呢?我會很肯定的說你生命中很多的“已完成”都會讓你十分自豪，而他們的落實(shí)也都少不了你的努力、風(fēng)險和熱愛。

So make your list, and check it twice. Just writing down the things you're proud of, and that are already working well for you, will give you some perspective on where you are and what you still have to do.

所以造一份清單吧，反復(fù)查看一下。把你所為之自豪，對你身心有益，對你現(xiàn)在的工作與生活有益的事情記錄下來吧。

3.Interview 10 people.

采訪十個人

Find 10 people who know you and have worked with you or who have interacted with you in other ways, such as at your children's school. Look for people who are familiar with your leadership style and how you do things. Ask if you can have a few minutes of their time as part of a self-assessment exercise, and if they agree, interview them and either record the conversation, or take notes of what they say.

找十個了解你、與你一起工作或是以前和你有過聯(lián)系的人(例如中學(xué)時期的好友)，也就是熟悉你領(lǐng)導(dǎo)方式和辦事風(fēng)格的人。詢問是否能占用幾分鐘的時間對他們做自己的人格檢視，如果他們同意，采訪他們并且記錄下談話內(nèi)容，或是對他們的回答做筆記。

Ask them, "What do you see as my strengths? What am I good at?" Capland says. Most people will respond with something like, "Are you freaking kidding me?" she says. And then they'll tell you many things yo're good at, some of which you may not even be aware of." The truth is, everybody sees us better than we can see ourselves," she says.

問他們這樣的問題“你覺得我的長處是什么?我擅長什么?”開普蘭建議道。很多人可能聽到后是這個反應(yīng)，“你搞毛線啊?”她說。然后他們便會告訴你你擅長什么，有些你可能并不知道自己擁有的天賦。“事實(shí)上真的是旁觀者清。”她說。

4.Meditate

冥想

Meditation is good for your stress levels, your decision-making powers, and even your brain function. And it's an effective way to get beyond your overly negative view of yourself as well, Capland says. "It helps me to quiet myself down from all the craziness and my schedule and the circular conversation I have with myself about how I suck," she says.

做冥想對減壓、提高決策能力，甚至是增大頭腦運(yùn)轉(zhuǎn)效能都有好處。而且這也是一種讓你走出消極情緒的好辦法，開普蘭說：“冥想幫助我從我的瘋狂想法，工作日常中平靜下來，讓我審視自己的不愉快。”

Meditation needn't be a formal part of your day (although it is for Capland). A few minutes at a time, or even a few momentary meditation breaks throughout your day can make a difference and even change your outlook.

冥想不一定要成為你每日生活的必須(雖然這是開普蘭的必須)。每次幾分鐘的冥想，就算只有一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)有意義的思想突破也可以讓你的生活變得不同，甚至轉(zhuǎn)換你的精神面貌。

5.Try coaching

嘗試訓(xùn)練

"Meditation does quiet me down and that helps, but it's not quite enough," Capland says. So when she needs to silence the naysayers in her own head, she turns to a coach of her own. As an executive coach herself, this is a natural option. That said, coaching can be extremely effective for anyone, as I know from my own experience.

“冥想確實(shí)能讓我平靜下來，但我覺得這并不夠，”開普蘭說。所以每次他想要讓腦子沉靜下來時，她都會尋找導(dǎo)師。對于本身就是一個執(zhí)行教練的她來說，這是一個自然而然的事情。指導(dǎo)對很多人來說都是很有意義的，起碼從我個人而言是這樣。

When I interviewed Capland for a column earlier this year, we hit it off. We decided as a follow-up that she would coach me and I would write about it. I'm not as confident as I'd like to be, but our coaching sessions are a huge push in the right direction.

今年，當(dāng)我因?yàn)閷诘木壒什稍L開普蘭時，我們達(dá)成了一致。我們決定用她做我的教練，我來記錄寫作的方式完成專欄。我并不是一個很自信的人，但這樣的私教課程確實(shí)是我在正確道路上的一個強(qiáng)大助推力。

"Having a coach has made a huge difference for me and I'm hoping for the people I coach as well," she says. "I am a regular reminder of how capable you are, how masterful you are, and how you're already fine just as you are-you're just taking yourself to the next stage in your journey."

“教練讓我的變化很大，我也希望人們可以試著想我這樣做。”她說，“我是一個會時不時提醒你你多么有能力、多么有所精通的人，你已經(jīng)做得很棒了——你只需要邁向人生的下一個階段罷了。”

Or to put it another way, she says, "I am a relentless cheerleader." And isn't that something all of us can use?

或者換句話說，她是這樣說的：“我是教練，也就是一個一直動力十足的啦啦隊(duì)長。”確實(shí)啊，我們都可以做做嘗試。