20件小事，幫助年輕人“走向成熟”

Rachel Ginsberg is a clinical psychologist at the NewYork-Presbyterian Youth Anxiety Center, a research and clinical program that brings together experts from NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital, Columbia University Medical Center and Weill Cornell Medicine. She is part of its Launching Emerging Adults Program aimed at teenagers and young adults.

瑞秋·金斯伯格(Rachel Ginsberg)是紐約-長(zhǎng)老會(huì)青年焦慮防治中心(NewYork-Presbyterian Youth Anxiety Center)的臨床心理學(xué)家，該中心是來(lái)自紐約-長(zhǎng)老會(huì)醫(yī)院、哥倫比亞大學(xué)醫(yī)學(xué)中心(Columbia University Medical Center)和威爾·康奈爾醫(yī)學(xué)院(Weill Cornell Medicine)的專家創(chuàng)建的研究和臨床項(xiàng)目。她參與了面向少年與青年的“躍向成年階段項(xiàng)目”(Launching Emerging Adults Program)。

Dr. Ginsberg works with clients on lack of emotional readiness and academic and “adulting” skills, as well as on social anxiety — issues that can become more apparent in college and can lead to students’ lives’ unraveling.

金斯伯格的客戶缺乏情感準(zhǔn)備以及讀書學(xué)習(xí)和“走向成熟”的技能，此外還有社會(huì)焦慮問(wèn)題——這些問(wèn)題在大學(xué)會(huì)更加顯著，導(dǎo)致生活脫離正軌。

So how can a person develop these skills? Below is a list of “exposure tasks” to help students develop strategies for coping with possible challenges and “assertively get their needs met, or manage circumstances that do not go the way that they wished,” Dr. Ginsberg said.

那么，一個(gè)人該如何掌握這些技能?以下是一系列“暴露練習(xí)”，可以幫助學(xué)生發(fā)展出應(yīng)對(duì)可能出現(xiàn)的挑戰(zhàn)的策略，并“堅(jiān)定地取得他們的所需，或?qū)`背他們意愿的情勢(shì)加以管理，”金斯伯格說(shuō)。

Some of these tasks may seem oddly fundamental, and they aren’t all relevant to everyone. For example, Dr. Ginsberg may ask a perfectionist to turn in an imperfect assignment, she said, “so that they learn to tolerate the anxiety — that it was not so bad after all, that the outcome does not define them and that the incident did not propel catastrophic consequences, as they might have predicted.”

其中一些練習(xí)顯得很基礎(chǔ)，并不是和所有人都相干。例如金斯伯格會(huì)要一個(gè)完美主義者上交一份有瑕疵的作業(yè)，她說(shuō)，“這樣他們才能學(xué)會(huì)容忍焦慮——他們會(huì)明白事情其實(shí)也沒那么糟，這個(gè)結(jié)果并不會(huì)成為他們的形象標(biāo)簽，這個(gè)事件不會(huì)催生災(zāi)難性的后果，而他們?cè)究赡軙?huì)有這樣的預(yù)測(cè)。”

For people wary of speaking to classmates or professors for fear of being embarrassed or judged as stupid, she might suggest that they place an order at a restaurant and then change it.

有的人不愿意和同學(xué)或教授交談，因?yàn)閾?dān)心丟臉，或被認(rèn)為是個(gè)笨人，對(duì)此她建議在餐館點(diǎn)一個(gè)菜，然后改變自己的選擇。

“These tasks help them validate themselves and not be scared to ask for what they want,” Dr. Ginsberg said. “In essence, these tasks help to shrink anxiety and avoidance down to size.”

“這個(gè)練習(xí)幫助他們認(rèn)可自己，不怕說(shuō)出自己的所需，”金斯伯格說(shuō)。“大致上練習(xí)就是要幫助他們把焦慮和逃避降到合理水平。”

Emotional Readiness Challenges

情感準(zhǔn)備挑戰(zhàn)

• Identify what you’re feeling and communicate it to others.

• 認(rèn)清你的感受，并就此和他人溝通。

• Delay gratification and complete a less preferred task first.

• 延緩成就感，先完成自己沒那么喜歡的練習(xí)。

• Practice “making room” for imperfection by turning in an imperfect assignment.

• 通過(guò)上交不完美的作業(yè)，練習(xí)為瑕疵“騰出空間”。

• Email your teacher or professor to clarify something on your own.

• 給你的老師或教授寫電郵，自己澄清一些事情。

• Raise your hand in class and, when called on, start your sentence with “I’m having trouble understanding. …”

• 上課時(shí)舉手，被叫到時(shí)，首先說(shuō)“我不太能夠理解……”

• Order food and then change your order.

• 在餐館點(diǎn)菜，然后改變自己的選擇。

• Approach a group of similar-age peers and ask them a question.

• 走向一群年齡相仿的人，問(wèn)他們一個(gè)問(wèn)題。

Academic Readiness Challenges

學(xué)術(shù)準(zhǔn)備挑戰(zhàn)

• Adhere to a schedule consistently.

• 堅(jiān)持執(zhí)行一個(gè)日程安排。

• Ask for help with or clarification on an assignment or test material.

• 就一份作業(yè)或考試材料尋求幫助或澄清。

• Walk into a class that’s already begun, rather than skipping it because you were running late.

• 走進(jìn)一個(gè)已經(jīng)開始上課的教室，不要因?yàn)檫t到而曠課。

• Speak to your teacher or professor after class.

• 課后與你的老師或教授交談。

• Make a phone call and ask basic (including “obvious” or “awkward”) questions.

• 打一個(gè)電話，問(wèn)基本的(包括“淺顯的”或“尷尬的”)問(wèn)題。

• Call and make your own doctor and dentist appointments.

• 自己打電話預(yù)約醫(yī)生和牙醫(yī)。

Daily Functioning ‘Adulting’ Challenges

日常生活中“走向成熟”挑戰(zhàn)

• Make your bed daily. • 每天給自己鋪床。

• Clean your room on your own. • 自己打掃房間。

• Regulate your sleep by sleeping seven to eight hours a night, and going to bed and waking up at decent hours.

• 保證規(guī)律的睡眠，每晚睡七到八小時(shí)，早睡早起。

• Cook three basic meals. (Eggs, cereal and pasta don’t count.)

• 做三頓便飯。(雞蛋、麥片和意面不算。)

• Return something to a store. • 把某件商品退給商店。

• Get up on your own with an alarm.

· 靠著鬧鐘自己起床。

• Know the basics of finance (paying bills, writing checks and so on).

• 掌握基本的財(cái)務(wù)技能(支付賬單、寫支票等等)。