贊美說(shuō)“不”

Today I did not get up at 6:30am to flog over to a breakfast meeting in Knightsbridge. Tomorrow I am not going to have a sandwich lunch to discuss a project I am only vaguely involved in.

今天我沒(méi)在早上6點(diǎn)半起床去騎士橋(Knightsbridge)參加一場(chǎng)早餐會(huì)。明天，我不會(huì)去參加一場(chǎng)三明治午餐會(huì)，討論一個(gè)跟我只沾一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)邊的項(xiàng)目。

On Thursday I am not going to a summer networking party. Neither am I writing an article for a website that neglects to pay contributors, nor am I giving an interview to an Australian radio station. I might have been doing all of these things, but I have said no to them.

周四，我不會(huì)去參加一場(chǎng)夏季交流派對(duì)。我既不會(huì)給一家“忘記”給撰稿人支付稿酬的網(wǎng)站寫(xiě)文章，也不會(huì)接受澳大利亞一家廣播電臺(tái)的采訪。我本來(lái)也許會(huì)做所有這些事，但我都拒絕了。

As well as making me considerably happier, this naysaying makes me bang on trend. No is the new yes. It is the most fashionable answer for successful people.

說(shuō)不，不但讓我感覺(jué)更快樂(lè)得多，而且使我跟上了潮流。“不”是新的“是”。這是對(duì)成功人士而言最時(shí)髦的回答。

Ten years ago it was the other way around. There was a uniformly positive selection of books on Amazon that were all rabidly pro-yes. Now they have been pushed aside by The Life-changing Power of No! and How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty. There is even a How to Say No colouring book for adults, as well as books of more niche interest, like Say No to Arthritis.

10年前，情況正好相反。亞馬遜(Amazon)上匯集了清一色全部熱烈支持回答“是”的圖書(shū)。如今，這些書(shū)都被排擠了，取而代之的是《說(shuō)不：改變?nèi)松牧α?》(The Life-changing Power of No!)和《如何毫無(wú)愧疚感地說(shuō)不》(How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty)?，F(xiàn)在甚至有了針對(duì)成年人的填色書(shū)《如何說(shuō)不》(How to Say No)，以及一些照顧小眾興趣的圖書(shū)，比如《對(duì)關(guān)節(jié)炎說(shuō)不》(Say No to Arthritis)。

Yet last week “no” reached cult status. In a blog post for the Harvard Business Review, a management coach suggested that it is not enough simply to say no, we must start celebrating whenever we do so.

然而，“不”最近達(dá)到了受人崇拜的地位。在《哈佛商業(yè)評(píng)論》(HBR)上的一篇博客文章中，一位管理教練提出，僅僅說(shuō)不是不夠的，我們必須開(kāi)始在自己每次這么做的時(shí)候贊美自己。

No is thus granted the same giddy status as failure, which everyone has been doggedly celebrating for a decade at least. The Museum of Failure was opened last week in Sweden; give it a year or two and the Museum of No is bound to follow.

“不”因此被授予跟“失敗”一樣令人眩暈的地位，起碼過(guò)去10年來(lái)，所有人都在堅(jiān)持不懈地贊美失敗。最近，瑞典開(kāi)了一家失敗博物館(Museum of Failure);再過(guò)一兩年，“說(shuō)不博物館”一定會(huì)出現(xiàn)。

Yet to celebrate no is not so silly. Since reading the blog, I have taken to starting each day lying in bed giving silent thanks for the things I have successfully refused to do. I do not have to write that article today (hooray), nor have coffee with that person (phew), nor go to that lunch.

不過(guò)，贊美說(shuō)不并不太傻。自讀過(guò)那篇博客文章以來(lái)，我習(xí)慣了在每天開(kāi)始時(shí)躺在床上，默默地感謝那些被我成功地拒絕掉的事情。我今天不必寫(xiě)那篇文章(萬(wàn)歲)，也不用跟那個(gè)人喝咖啡(松口氣)，還不用去那個(gè)午餐會(huì)。

With each thing I mentally tick off, the better the day seems. I skip out of bed eager to do the things that slipped through my net of negativity.

我在心里每列出一件事，就感覺(jué)這一天似乎更加美好。我從床上下來(lái)，去做那些從我的否定網(wǎng)漏掉的事情。

You could say this is all very selfish. Every time we say no we disappoint the person asking. And every job we turn down creates something for some other poor sucker to have to do instead.

你可能會(huì)說(shuō)，這也太自私了。每次我們說(shuō)不時(shí)，我們都讓提請(qǐng)求的人失望。我們拒絕的每一項(xiàng)工作，都會(huì)給某個(gè)可憐的倒霉鬼生出一些他必須做的事情。

Yet there is another way of looking at it — fans of no are rebranding it as the altruistic choice.

不過(guò)，還有另一種方式看待此事——說(shuō)不的粉絲正在把它重新標(biāo)榜成一種無(wú)私的選擇。

On the Entrepreneur website is a blog post that argues saying no is good, as it creates space for junior people to step up. And declining things at work allows you to spend more time at home tending to your family.

創(chuàng)業(yè)家(Entrepreneur)網(wǎng)站上有一篇博客文章主張，說(shuō)不是好事，因?yàn)檫@會(huì)給資歷不足的人創(chuàng)造出挑重?fù)?dān)的空間。而且，拒絕工作中的事情，讓你把更多時(shí)間放在家里，關(guān)懷家人。

I can think of something even better about it. If enough people were to say no to pointless things often enough it would lead to a more efficient allocation of resources. If we all refused boring meetings and events, eventually the penny would drop and people would stop arranging them.

關(guān)于說(shuō)不，我可以想出甚至更好的事情。如果足夠的人對(duì)無(wú)意義的事情說(shuō)不的次數(shù)足夠多，那么資源的分配將變得更加高效率。如果我們都拒絕枯燥的會(huì)議和活動(dòng)，最終人們會(huì)明白過(guò)來(lái)，就不會(huì)再安排這些了。

Despite being a great fan of no at work, even I admit that sometimes it is the wrong answer. The great challenge is therefore to spot when to stop saying no and start saying yes.

盡管我特別擁護(hù)在工作中說(shuō)不，但即使我也承認(rèn)，有時(shí)“不”是一個(gè)錯(cuò)誤的回答。所以艱巨的挑戰(zhàn)在于何時(shí)停止說(shuō)不，開(kāi)始說(shuō)是。

The HBR recommends ranking all opportunities from one to 10, but my system is simpler. I say yes to things I a) have to do; b) want to do or c) ought to do. Though sometimes I ignore c) if I can talk myself out of whatever it is without feeling a total heel.

《哈佛商業(yè)評(píng)論》建議用1至10的分?jǐn)?shù)給各種機(jī)會(huì)打分，但我的方法更簡(jiǎn)單。我只對(duì)三類事情說(shuō)是，一是必須做的，二是想做的，三是應(yīng)當(dāng)做的。不過(guò)，有時(shí)我會(huì)忽略第三類——如果我能在不感覺(jué)自己完全是個(gè)渾蛋的情況下，說(shuō)服自己不做那件事。

The trouble with this system is that often it is not clear whether you really have to do something — or even if you want to do it. But in that case there is a rule: if in doubt, say no. At the margin, less work is always better than more.

這個(gè)方法的麻煩在于，對(duì)于你是否真的必須做某事，你自己經(jīng)常拿不準(zhǔn)——甚至連你是否想做也不確定。但那種情況下的規(guī)則是：如果心存疑問(wèn)，那就說(shuō)不。在某種程度上，工作更少總比工作更多好。

The main difference between yes and no is that one is easy and the other hard.

說(shuō)是和說(shuō)不的主要區(qū)別在于，一個(gè)容易說(shuō)出來(lái)，另一個(gè)難于說(shuō)出口。

Yes can be said by any old fool, while no requires character, commitment and courage. Saying no gets easier as you get older: I have gone from being rubbish at it to being a master, and am still improving.

任何一個(gè)老傻瓜都可以說(shuō)出是，而說(shuō)不則需要性格、承諾和勇氣。隨著年齡的增長(zhǎng)，說(shuō)不變得更容易：我已從對(duì)此毫無(wú)經(jīng)驗(yàn)變得非常精通，而且還在進(jìn)步。

I have learnt the importance of saying no quickly. If you procrastinate you are already on the back foot and may be tricked into saying yes by mistake.

我明白了迅速說(shuō)不的重要性。如果你拖延，那么你就已經(jīng)陷于被動(dòng)，也許會(huì)被誘導(dǎo)著錯(cuò)誤地說(shuō)是。

I have also learnt never to give reasons, as they can be challenged, resulting in capitulation. In writing this I have learnt a third thing: never say you cannot do something because you are too busy.

我也明白了絕不要給出理由，因?yàn)槟愕睦碛煽赡苁艿教魬?zhàn)，導(dǎo)致你繳械投降。在寫(xiě)本文時(shí)，我明白了第三件事：不要說(shuō)自己無(wú)法做某件事是因?yàn)樘α恕?/p>

No one will be impressed: being too busy simply proves you are not good enough at saying no.

這不會(huì)給誰(shuí)留下深刻印象：太忙只能證明你不太善于說(shuō)不。