“凹凸有致的寡婦”：68歲，約會(huì)六個(gè)男人

At 68, Bobby Goldman has found herself in the unexpected position of recommending adult toys to strangers.

68歲的鮑比·戈德曼(Bobby Goldman)落入了一個(gè)出乎意料的境地——向陌生人推薦成人玩具。

She has written the book for the new musical, “Curvy Widow,” based on her experiences in the post-bereavement dating pool, at the Westside Theater. In it, the character of Bobby grapples with being single in her 60s (incognito trips to buy condoms) in today’s landscape (casually-sent graphic photos).

她根據(jù)自己?jiǎn)逝己蠹s會(huì)的經(jīng)歷寫了一本書，其改編音樂劇《凹凸有致的寡婦》(Curvy Widow)新近在西區(qū)劇院(Westside Theater)上演。其中，鮑比，一個(gè)在花甲之年努力應(yīng)對(duì)單身生活的人物(喬裝打扮去買避孕套)，被放置到了當(dāng)下的場(chǎng)景里(隨隨便便就會(huì)發(fā)露骨的照片給人看)。

The play’s frank talk about sex during one’s later years invites audience members to share their own laughs and frustrations, as Ms. Goldman explained during a trip to Babeland, a sex-toy shop in Manhattan, last month.

這是一出坦率探討暮年性愛的劇，邀請(qǐng)觀眾分享他們的歡笑和煩惱，上個(gè)月，戈德曼在去往曼哈頓性愛玩具用品店寶貝之國(Babeland)的路上解釋道。

“I thought I was writing a funny little sex show. I had no idea people were going to come to me with tears in their eyes,” she said. To one woman who confessed her fear of sex, Ms. Goldman recounted telling her, “You need a good gynecologist, and you need a vibrator.”

“我覺得自己就是寫了一個(gè)好玩的小小性愛秀。沒想到人們看過之后會(huì)流著眼淚來找我，”她說。一個(gè)女人向她坦陳自己對(duì)性愛的恐懼，戈德曼說，自己當(dāng)時(shí)是這么對(duì)她說的，“你需要一個(gè)好的婦科醫(yī)生，還有一個(gè)振動(dòng)器。”

Eyeing one apparatus at the store that looked like a spineless cactus, she said, “It’s going to fall out or do something peculiar.”

在商店里，她看到一個(gè)裝置，長(zhǎng)得有點(diǎn)像軟體仙人掌，她說：“它可能會(huì)掉下來，或者干些奇奇怪怪的事情。”

Ms. Goldman was married to the playwright and screenwriter James Goldman, who won an Oscar for “The Lion in Winter.” His death in 1998 flattened Ms. Goldman. Her therapist’s advice? Have sex, as his character recommends in the show.

戈德曼的丈夫是戲劇電影編劇詹姆斯·戈德曼(James Goldman)，曾因《冬獅》(The Lion in Winter)的劇本獲得奧斯卡獎(jiǎng)。1998年，他的逝世擊垮了戈德曼，她的心理醫(yī)生給了什么意見?做愛，劇中心理醫(yī)師的角色也是這么建議的。

After a frustrating year on Match.com — “The type of man who’s on it and of a certain age shouldn’t be on anything,” Ms. Goldman said — she stumbled upon Ashley Madison, the site specializing in extramarital encounters. Her profile, with the handle “Curvy Widow,” netted over a hundred responses on the first night.

戈德曼在相親網(wǎng)站Match.com上花費(fèi)了令人沮喪的一年時(shí)間——“那個(gè)網(wǎng)站上某個(gè)年齡段的男人根本就不應(yīng)該登錄這類網(wǎng)站，”戈德曼說——后來她偶然發(fā)現(xiàn)了專門撮合婚外情的網(wǎng)站Ashley Madison。她在簡(jiǎn)介中為自己冠以“凹凸有致的寡婦”這個(gè)名號(hào)，第一天晚上就吸引了一百多個(gè)回復(fù)。

A friend at Random House urged her to chronicle her adventures. “They said, ‘What are you doing since Jim is dead?’ and I said, ‘I’m dating a lot of wealthy, successful, married men from a sex site.’ They thought it was funny, and next thing I know I’m writing it,” she said.

蘭登書屋(Random House)的一個(gè)朋友敦促她記錄自己的歷險(xiǎn)。“他們說，‘吉姆死后你在做什么?’我說：‘我通過一個(gè)性愛網(wǎng)站約會(huì)了很多富裕、成功的已婚男人。’他們覺得這很有趣，接下來，我就開始寫這個(gè)了，”她說。

During the talkback following that afternoon’s matinee, the audience was largely older and female. “I liked the message that it’s O.K. to be independent,” one woman said.

某天，在下午場(chǎng)之后參加對(duì)話的觀眾大部分年齡較大，以女性居多。“我喜歡這個(gè)劇傳達(dá)的觀念，就是說獨(dú)立是好事，”一個(gè)女人說。

“I had a construction company; my clients were mostly men,” Ms. Goldman replied. “Since ‘Curvy,’ I’ve developed girlfriends. For the first time, I have girl lunches and girl brunches. It’s been terrific. I love men deeply, but they’re simple folk.”

“我有一家建筑公司;我的客戶大多是男人，”戈德曼回答。“自從《凹凸有致的寡婦》之后，我開始有了女朋友。我第一次開始同女人們共進(jìn)午餐和早午餐。這真的很棒。我深深地愛著男人，但他們都是簡(jiǎn)單的人。”

The female audience members murmured in agreement.

女性觀眾們低聲表示同意。

“Women are strategic,” Ms. Goldman went on.“We will stay up, watch them breathe and look for kitchen knives.”

“女人都深謀遠(yuǎn)慮，”戈德曼繼續(xù)說道，“我們晚上不睡覺，看著他們呼吸，尋找著廚刀。”

They laughed — hard.

她們笑了——放聲大笑。

Drew Brody, who wrote the music and lyrics for “Curvy Widow,” recalled in an interview that he had been looking for new collaborators when he heard about Ms. Goldman. “Aaron Lustbader, who’s now the general manager of the show, said to me, ‘I have someone interesting for you to meet,’ which was the understatement of the century,” Mr. Brody said.

為《凹凸有致的寡婦》創(chuàng)作了音樂和歌詞的德魯·布洛迪(Drew Brody)在接受采訪時(shí)回憶，自己當(dāng)時(shí)一直在尋找新的合作者，后來就聽說了戈德曼。“如今擔(dān)任這部劇總經(jīng)理的亞倫·拉斯特巴德(Aaron Lustbader)對(duì)我說，‘我安排了一個(gè)有意思的人給你見見，’這話簡(jiǎn)直是太輕描淡寫了，”布洛迪說。

“For the first time in musical theater history, we had to make a character smaller for the stage,” he added.

“這是音樂劇史上的第一次，為了適應(yīng)舞臺(tái)，我們不得不讓角色變得不那么夸張一點(diǎn)，”他補(bǔ)充說。

Ms. Goldman sent Mr. Brody a manuscript of “Curvy Widow” as a writing sample. “I called her and said, ‘You know this is a musical, right?’” he said. “She hung up on me.” Eventually he convinced her. “These stories are not being told, about older women being allowed to have a sexual appetite.”

戈德曼把《凹凸有致的寡婦》的手稿拿給布洛迪作為劇本樣本。“我給她打電話說，‘你知道這是一出音樂劇，對(duì)吧?’他說。‘她聽了就摔了我電話。’”后來他終于說服了她。“這些關(guān)于老年女性也可以有性欲的故事，都是以前沒有人講過的。”

Nancy Opel, who plays Bobby in the show — bedding the male ensemble, wrestling with a hormone ring and singing a ballad from a bathroom floor — said by phone that she was drawn to the idea of “a woman of a certain age who’s actually embarking on romance.”

飾演鮑比的演員是南希·奧佩爾(Nancy Opel)，在劇中，她和一大堆男人上床，奮力處理激素環(huán)的問題，坐在浴室的地上唱歌——在接受電話采訪時(shí)，她說，“一個(gè)到了特定年齡的女人其實(shí)才開始浪漫之旅，”這個(gè)想法吸引了她。

“Nobody writes shows about 50-, 60-year-old women, unless they’re crazy or terrible or drunk,” Ms. Opel said.

“沒有人會(huì)為五六十歲的女人寫劇本，除非她們瘋狂、可怕或者酗酒，”奧佩爾說。

As in the musical, Ms. Goldman sold the penthouse she shared with Mr. Goldman and moved to a Midtown loft. In her previous life, she prepared six formal dinners a week for the likes of Audrey Hepburn and Sean Connery. “This morning I had Cheetos,” she said. The rare night she’s not at the theater or with a date, she watches MSNBC, “Law & Order” or anything with Vin Diesel in it.

和劇中一樣，戈德曼出售了她曾與丈夫居住的頂樓豪華公寓，搬進(jìn)了中城的一個(gè)大開間寓所里。在此前的人生中，她每周要準(zhǔn)備六頓正式的晚餐，款待奧黛麗·赫本(Audrey Hepburn)和肖恩·康奈利(Sean Connery)之類客人。“今天早上我吃奇多芝士條當(dāng)早餐，”如今的她說。晚上她一般不是去劇院就是去約會(huì)，少有的在家時(shí)光，她會(huì)看MSNBC臺(tái)的電視劇《法律與秩序》(Law & Order)，或者有范·迪塞爾(Vin Diesel)出演的任何影視劇。

These days, Ms. Goldman is dating six men, five married, one separated. “It’s a nice number,” she said in a cab downtown after the talkback. “They can’t see you very often. It works out to about one date a week.”

最近，戈德曼約會(huì)了六個(gè)男人，五個(gè)已婚，一個(gè)單身。“這個(gè)數(shù)字很不錯(cuò)，”她在從市中心返回的出租車上說。“他們不可能經(jīng)常見你。算下來一周大概約會(huì)一次。”

Married men, she says, are more compatible with her lifestyle. She doesn’t bother herself with moral implications.

她說，已婚的男人更符合她的生活方式。由此帶出的道德問題是她不在意的。

“I care for them, but I’m very pragmatic,” she said later at Nomo Kitchen, as she wolfed down the cacio e pepe. “You’re married; I’m not looking to do anything other than have an enjoyable evening with you. I don’t text you. I don’t call you. That would be wrong.”

“我在乎他們，但我非常務(wù)實(shí)，”后來，她來到諾莫廚房餐廳，一邊大吃奶酪胡椒意面一邊說。“你已經(jīng)結(jié)婚了;除了和你一起度過一個(gè)愉快的夜晚，我不想做任何事情。我不會(huì)給你發(fā)短信。我不會(huì)給你打電話。那是不對(duì)的。”

These relationships are not just about sex, she clarified. “I was injured nine months ago, and I couldn’t walk. Every single one of them showed up to my house and made sure there was food in the refrigerator. Men want to take care.”

這些關(guān)系不僅僅是和性有關(guān)，她澄清說。“九個(gè)月前我受傷了，沒法走路。他們每個(gè)人都出現(xiàn)在我家，確認(rèn)冰箱里有食物。男人都想照顧人。”