比爾蓋茨的育兒經(jīng)

比爾蓋茨舉起了他的孩子根據(jù)70年代愛情與邏輯公式-這里是他最為成功的孩子技巧培訓(xùn)

Bill Gates doesn't pretend he lives in an egalitarian household. When it comes to parenting his three children, the billionaire Microsoft mogul readily admits his wife Melinda has done more than her share of the work raising the kids.

比爾蓋茨從未假裝過著平等的家庭生活。這位億萬富翁承認(rèn)，在撫養(yǎng)三個(gè)孩子的過程中，妻子梅琳達(dá)承擔(dān)了更多責(zé)任。

"My wife does 80%," Gates told a crowd of Harvard students on Thursday. Gates spent two years there taking math and computer science courses as a pre-law student, but never finished up his degree (though he was later gifted an honorary diploma from the Ivy League university).

上周四，他告訴一群哈佛學(xué)生：“我妻子做了80%(的工作)。”比爾蓋茨曾在哈佛上過兩年課，學(xué)習(xí)數(shù)學(xué)和計(jì)算機(jī)科學(xué)，但并未完成學(xué)業(yè)、取得學(xué)位——不過，哈佛大學(xué)后來授予他榮譽(yù)學(xué)位。

"My eldest graduates from Stanford in June, so I'm optimistic she won't fall into my footsteps," Gates joked.

他開玩笑說：“今年六月，我的大女兒就從斯坦福畢業(yè)了。所以我可以樂觀地說，她不會(huì)步我的后塵。”

Gates said he and his wife have been quite deliberate about the model they've used to raise their three children, who are now 15, 18, and 22 years old.

比爾蓋茨夫婦育有三個(gè)子女，目前分別為15歲、18歲、22歲。比爾蓋茨表示，他們夫婦二人對(duì)孩子的教育問題非常慎重。

He says the couple followed a 1970s "Love and Logic" parenting model. It's a formula that was created by a group of three men — a mix of psychologists, psychiatrists and former school administrators. The core idea of their philosophy is centered on the idea that exerting emotional control, essentially minimizing emotional reactions like shouting or reprimanding kids, is a good formula for parenting.

他們遵循上世紀(jì)70年代的“愛和邏輯”教育法。該方法由一位心理學(xué)家、一位精神病學(xué)家、一位學(xué)校管理者合作提出。它的核心理念是“情緒控制”，即最大程度地減少情緒反應(yīng)，如大喊大叫、訓(xùn)斥孩子。這種方法能夠幫助我們學(xué)習(xí)如何控制情緒和語言。

Gates admits he and his wife haven't been perfect at carrying out the approach."Can you get rid of the emotion? You can't totally do it," he said.

“你能擺脫這種情緒嗎?你不能完全做到這一點(diǎn)，“他說。比爾蓋茨承認(rèn)，他們做得并不完美，因?yàn)槿藷o法完全拋除情緒。

Aside from reining in hot-blooded parent tempers, the love and logic model also stresses the importance of not leaning into rewards for kids, but instead demonstrating unconditional love and admiring kids for who they are, not what they do (or don't) achieve, like a poor test score or a bad grade.

除了控制情緒外，這種教育方法還強(qiáng)調(diào)不要依賴物質(zhì)獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)。相反，父母應(yīng)該表達(dá)無條件的愛，應(yīng)該贊美孩子本身，而非他們的成就或失敗(例如考試分?jǐn)?shù))。

"Many highly successful people struggled with grades as children," Fay wrote on his site. "What's most important is that our children develop good character, curiosity, and problem-solving skills."

許多成功人士小時(shí)候成績并不好。最重要的是使孩子具備良好的品格、好奇心、解決問題的技巧。

The model is a bit like the Socratic method, in that it pushes parents to focus on asking questions of their kids and getting them to think about how to solve their own problems, instead of feeding them answers.

這有點(diǎn)像蘇格拉底式的教育方法。父母應(yīng)該問孩子問題，引導(dǎo)孩子思考如何自己解決問題，而非直接提供答案。

Gates says the "Love and Logic" method is a far cry from the way he grew up, but he knew he wanted to do things differently with his own kids.

比爾蓋茨表示，“愛和邏輯”教育法和他自己的成長經(jīng)歷相距甚遠(yuǎn)，但他希望為自己的孩子做點(diǎn)不一樣的事情。

It wasn't the only way he set boundaries for his children while they were growing up. None of his kids owned a cell phone until they were 14 years old. The children also attended Catholic churchregularly with their parents. And they will each get about $10 million of their parents fortune as inheritance, a mere fraction of the mogul's roughly $90 billion net worth.

另外，他們規(guī)定孩子年滿十四歲才能擁有手機(jī);他們定期和孩子去天主教堂做禮拜;每個(gè)孩子將來各繼承一千萬美元的財(cái)產(chǎn)——相較于比爾蓋茨夫婦的總資產(chǎn)，這只是九牛一毛。

"We want to strike a balance where they have the freedom to do anything, but not a lot of money showered on them so they could go out and do nothing," Gates once told TED.

“我們希望取得平衡，讓他們能夠自由自在地做任何事情，而不是給予他們大量金錢，讓他們無所事事。”Gates曾經(jīng)告訴TED。