◎ Eliza Riley
Lisa stood facing the Caribbean Sea, feeling the faint breeze against her face; her eyes were shut and she felt the white sand warm between her bare toes. The place was beautiful beyond belief, but it was still unable to ease the grief she felt as she remembered the last time she had been here.
麗莎佇立在加勒比海邊,感受微風輕拂臉頰——她閉上雙眼,感到裸露的腳趾間擁滿了溫暖的沙粒。這個地方美得簡直令人難以置信,但回憶起上次在這兒的情景,仍然無法撫慰心中的傷痛。
She had married James right here on this spot three years ago to the day. Dressed in a simple white shift dress, miniature white roses attempting to tame her long dark curls, Lisa had been happier than she had ever thought possible. James was even less formal, yet utterly irresistible in creased summer trousers and a loose white cotton shirt. His dark hair was slightly ruffled and his eyes were full of adoration as he looked at his bride to be. The justice of the peace had read their vows as they held hands and laughed at the sheer joy of being young, in love and staying in a five star resort on the Caribbean island of the Dominicana Republic. They had seen the years blissfully stretching ahead of them, together forever. They planned their children, two she said; he said four so they compromised on three (two girls and a boy of course); where they would live, the travelling they would do together—it was all certain, or so they had thought then.
三年前的今天,麗莎就是在這里嫁給詹姆斯的。她穿著樸素的白色長禮裙,小小的白玫瑰服帖地點綴著她又黑又長的鬈發(fā),如此的幸福感是她從未企及的。詹姆斯的裝扮甚至不那么正式,一條帶褶的清涼夏褲和一件寬松的白色棉質襯衫,配上一頭稍稍凌亂的黑發(fā),然而他看上去依然是魅力不擋。當他凝視著自己的新娘時,眼神里充滿了愛意。他們手牽著手,聆聽太平紳士宣讀他們的誓言。他們?yōu)槟贻p而歡呼,為愛情而雀躍,為身處多米尼加共和國加勒比海島的五星級勝地而陶醉。他們似乎看見未來的幸福之路在眼前展開,直至相攜到老。他們計劃著生孩子的事,她說要兩個,他卻想要四個,最終各退一步,決定生三個(當然是兩女一男)。他們計劃著會在哪里生活,計劃著一起去旅行——所有事情都顯得順理成章,或者說他們當時就想到這些。
But that seemed such a long time ago now. A lot can change in just a few years—a lot of heartache can change a person and drive a wedge through the strongest ties, break even the deepest love. Three years to the day and they had returned, though this time not for the beachside marriages the island was famous for, but for one of its equally popular quickie divorces.
但這一切看起來是許久以前的事了。短短幾年時間就可能發(fā)生許多變故。刻骨銘心的傷痛可以改變一個人,可以破壞最牢固的關系,甚至可以摧毀最深摯的愛情。三年后的今天,他們又回來了,但并非因為此地聞名的海濱婚禮,而是因為此地同樣聞名的閃電離婚。
Lisa let out a sigh that was filled with pain and regret. What could she do but move on, find a new life and new dreams?—the old one was beyond repair. How could this beautiful place, with its lush green coastline, eternity of azure blue sea and endless sands be a place for the agony she felt now?
麗莎深深地嘆了一口氣,充滿了痛苦和悲傷。除了繼續(xù)前行,尋找新生活和新夢想,她還能怎么做呢?——畢竟舊的已經無法彌補。這里有繁茂的綠色海岸線、無邊的蔚藍大海和綿延的沙灘,可是現(xiàn)在,如此美麗的地方怎么就讓她備感痛苦?
The man stood watching under the palm tree. He couldn’t take his eyes off the dark-haired woman he saw standing at the water’s edge, apparently gazing out to sea as though she was waiting for something—or someone. She was beautiful, with her slim figure dressed in a loose flowing cotton dress, her crazy hair and bright blue eyes not far off the color of the sea itself. It wasn’t her looks that attracted him though; he came across many beautiful women through his work as a freelance photographer. It was her loneliness and intensity that lured him. Even at some distance he was aware that she was different from any other woman he could ever meet.
一個男子站在棕櫚樹下,目不轉睛地注視著這位黑發(fā)女子:她佇立在水邊,眺望著大海,顯然像是在等待什么——或是某人。她很美,修長的身段穿著一襲寬松的棉質裙,頭發(fā)在風中瘋狂地亂舞,明亮的藍眼睛美得簡直可以與海洋的顏色相媲美。然而,吸引他的并非是她的容貌,作為一名自由攝影師,因為工作上的關系,他見過的美女無數(shù)。吸引他的是她的落寞和深情。盡管隔著一些距離,他仍能感覺到,她不同于他所見過的任何其他女性。
Lisa sensed the man approaching even before she turned around. She had been aware of him standing there staring at her and had felt strangely calm about being observed. She looked at him and felt the instant spark of connection she had only experienced once before. He walked slowly towards her and they held each other’s gaze. It felt like meeting a long lost friend—not a stranger on a strange beach.
未曾轉過身來,麗莎便察覺到了男人在靠近。她早已發(fā)覺他站在遠處注視著她,奇怪的是,她并沒有因為被注視而感到不自在。她看著他,瞬間閃過一絲心靈相通的火花,這樣的碰撞以前只有過一次。他慢慢地向她走近,兩人的目光交接在一起。他們就像見到一個失去聯(lián)絡很久的朋友——而不是在陌生的地方遇見一個陌生人。
Later, sitting at one of the many bars on the resort, sipping the local cocktails they began to talk. First pleasantries—their hotels, the quality of the food and friendliness of the locals. Their conversation was strangely hesitant considering the naturalness and confidence of their earlier meeting. Onlookers, however, would have detected the subtle flirtation as they mirrored each other’s actions and looked directly into each other’s eyes. Only later, after the alcohol had had its loosening effect, did the conversation deepen. They talked of why they were here and finally, against her better judgment, Lisa opened up about her heartache of the past year and how events had led her back to the place where she had married the only man she believed she could ever love. She told him of things that had been locked deep inside her, that she had so far been able to tell no one. She told him how she had felt after she had lost her baby.
后來,他們在諸多酒吧中找了一間坐了下來,品嘗著當?shù)氐碾u尾酒,開始交談。最初是談論一些有趣的事——聊他們住的酒店,飲食的質量和當?shù)厝说挠押脽崆?。再深入下去時,相比之前見面的自然和從容,他們的談話卻莫名地猶豫不前了。盡管如此,從他們端詳對方的行為和直視對方眼睛的神態(tài)中,旁觀者還是能察覺到一絲微妙的曖昧。直到酒精逐漸發(fā)揮了讓人放松的效力,談話才繼續(xù)深入下去。他們談論著來此地的原因,最后,雖然明知不太適宜,麗莎仍決定打開心扉,將她去年所經歷的痛苦傾訴而出,以及又回到這里的原因——在這兒,她嫁給了一個曾以為會深愛一生的男人。她將一直鎖在心底、至今仍無法向他人啟齒的話傾吐了出來,并向他傾訴失去孩子之后的悲痛心情。
She was six months pregnant and the happiest she had ever been when the pains had started. She was staying with her mother as James was working out of town. He hadn’t made it back in time. The doctor had said it was just one of those things and that they could try again. But how could she when she couldn’t even look James in the eye? She hated him then, for not being there, for not hurting as much as her; but most of all she hated him for looking so much like the tiny baby boy that she held for just three hours before they took him away. All through the following months she had withdrawn from her husband, family, and friends—not wanting to recover from the pain she felt—that would have been a betrayal of her son. At the funeral she had refused to stand next to her husband and the next day she had left him.
那時她已懷孕六個月,還是世界上最幸福的人,直到事情發(fā)生的前一刻。當時她和母親待在一起,詹姆斯在城外工作,沒能及時趕回來。醫(yī)生說這只是很平常的事情,他們還有機會再試一次。然而她無法做到,她甚至都無法直視詹姆斯的眼睛。她恨他,恨他當時不在身邊,恨他沒有自己那么傷心,更恨他看起來那么像僅僅在自己懷里躺了三個小時就被抱走的兒子。之后的幾個月里,她遠離了丈夫、家庭和朋友,不愿從傷痛中走出來——她覺得那樣做是對兒子的背叛。在葬禮上,她拒絕站在丈夫旁邊。第二天,她便離開了他。
Looking up, Lisa could see her pain reflected in the man’s eyes. For the first time in months she didn’t feel alone, she felt the unbearable burden begin to lift from her—only a bit, but it was a start. She began to believe that maybe she had a future after all and maybe it could be with this man, with his kind hazel eyes, wet with their shared tears.
抬起頭,麗莎看到男人的雙眼中映滿了自己的傷痛。幾個月來,她第一次不再感到孤獨,她感到壓得她喘不過氣來的擔子開始減輕——盡管只有一點點,但起碼是一個開始。也許她開始相信自己還是有未來的,也許是和眼前這個男人,也許是和他這雙溫柔的褐色眼睛——濕潤著他們共同的淚花。
They had come here to dissolve their marriage, but maybe there was hope. Lisa stood up and took James by the hand and led him away from the bar towards the beach where they had made their vows to each other three years ago. Tomorrow she would cancel the divorce; tonight they would work on renewing their promises.
他們來此本為結束他們的婚姻,但也許還有希望。她站起身,牽起詹姆斯的手,領著他走出酒吧,走向他們三年前互相許下諾言的沙灘。明天她會取消離婚,今晚,他們將重續(xù)承諾。