Take a Loving Look 充滿愛的眼神
Take a Loving Look 充滿愛的眼神
◎ Sarah Anne
How we see our partners often depends more on how we are than how they are. Husbands and wives are not audience, but participant observers in each other’s lives.
我們如何看待自己的伴侶往往更多地取決于我們自己怎么樣，而不是對方怎么樣。丈夫和妻子都不是觀眾，而是參與到對方生活里的觀察者。
“Before we were married, my husband was a caring, energetic man,” a wife once told me. “He couldn’t seem to keep his hands off me. Since we’ve been married, he’s become a couch potato and watches ball games more than he watches me. He’s gone from stud to spud.”
一位妻子曾對我說：“結婚前，我丈夫是一個體貼、精力充沛的人，好像沒法將他的手從我身上拿開。在我們結婚后，他變成了一個懶蛋，看球賽遠遠多過看我。他從猛男變成了‘懶蛋’。”
“Very funny,” answered the husband. “But have you looked at yourself lately? When we got married, you were beautiful. Now you wear that old robe. If I’ve gone from stud to spud, then you’ve gone from doll to drudge.”
“真有意思，”她丈夫回答道，“不過你有沒有瞧瞧最近你自己是啥模樣？我們結婚的時候，你很美?，F(xiàn)在你穿的是破舊的睡袍。如果說我從猛男變成了懶蛋，那你就是從美女變成了苦工。”
This hurtful, infantile argument illustrates how spouses, instead of looking for love, may look for flaws. It is a way of seeing.
這種互相傷害又帶有孩子氣的爭吵清楚地說明夫妻如何互相挑毛病，而不是在尋找愛。這就是一種看法。
Author Judith Viorst once wrote, “Infatuation is when you think he’s as gorgeous as Robert Redford, as pure as Solzhenitsyn, as funny as Woody Allen, as athletic as Jimmy Connors, and as smart as Albert Einstein. Love is when you realize he’s as gorgeous as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Connors, as funny as Solzhenitsyn, as athletic as Albert Einstein, and nothing like Robert Redford in any category——but you’ll take him anyway.”
作家朱迪斯·厄斯特曾寫道：“當你認為他像羅伯特·雷德福一樣儀表堂堂，像索爾仁尼琴一樣心地純潔，像伍迪·艾倫一樣言談風趣，像吉米·康納斯一樣身體矯健，像阿爾伯特·愛因斯坦一樣頭腦聰明，那你就被愛沖昏了頭腦。當你認識到他在長相方面像伍迪·艾倫，頭腦方面像吉米·康納斯，言談方面像索爾仁尼琴，身體方面像阿爾伯特·愛因斯坦，無論在哪一方面都不像羅伯特·雷德福——但你卻偏偏要嫁給他，這才是真正的愛。”
This law of lasting love instructs us to look with instead of for love.
持久愛情的這一法則教導我們，要用充滿愛意的眼神去看自己的伴侶，而不是用尋找愛的眼神去看對方。
