說(shuō)實(shí)話，感恩在感恩節(jié)實(shí)屬浪費(fèi)

As a psychologist, I’ve spent the past 15 years studying how gratitude shapes people’s lives. Research, including my own, has shown that feeling grateful has positive effects on our behavior — making us more honest, increasing our self-control, enhancing our productivity at work and our relationships at home.

作為一名心理學(xué)家，我花了15年時(shí)間研究感恩如何影響人們的生活。包括我自己在內(nèi)的研究表明，感恩對(duì)我們的行為有積極影響——讓我們更誠(chéng)實(shí)，增加我們的自控能力，改善我們的工作效率和家庭關(guān)系。

Given that, you might expect me to think that Thanksgiving is one of the most important days of the year. After all, if there’s a day on which the benefits of gratitude are maximized, surely it’s the national holiday set aside for the purpose of expressing that emotion.

因此，你可能會(huì)覺(jué)得我認(rèn)為感恩節(jié)是一年中最重要的日子之一。畢竟，如果某一天感恩的好處被最大化，那這一天一定會(huì)是為了表達(dá)這種感情而專(zhuān)門(mén)設(shè)置的國(guó)家節(jié)日。

But truth be told, gratitude is wasted on Thanksgiving. Don’t get me wrong: I love the rhythms and rituals of the day as much as anyone. It’s just that the very things that make Thanksgiving so wonderful — the presence of family and friends, the time off from work, indulging in that extra serving of turkey — also make gratitude unnecessary.

但說(shuō)實(shí)話，感恩在感恩節(jié)實(shí)屬浪費(fèi)。不要誤解我的意思：我和大家一樣喜歡這一天的節(jié)奏和儀式傳統(tǒng)。只不過(guò)正是這些讓感恩節(jié)如此美妙的事情——親朋的陪伴、不用上班的時(shí)間、盡情享用特別的火雞大餐——也讓感恩變得沒(méi)有必要。

Consider that one of gratitude’s central purposes is to help us form strong bonds with other people. Research by the psychologist Sara Algoe has shown that when we feel grateful for other people’s thoughtfulness, we consider that they might be worth getting to know a little better. Gratitude pushes us to take the first steps in forming relationships with new people. And once we know people better, continued feelings of gratitude strengthen our ties to them. Feeling grateful to one person for a favor also makes us more likely to “pay forward” favors to others we don’t know — a phenomenon identified by the psychologist Monica Bartlett — which, in turn, can lead them to want to get to know us.

感恩的核心目的之一，就是幫助我們與他人建立牢固的聯(lián)系。心理學(xué)家莎拉·阿爾戈(Sara Algoe)的研究表明，當(dāng)我們對(duì)他人的體貼心存感激時(shí)，就會(huì)認(rèn)為他們或許值得進(jìn)一步了解。感恩促使我們邁出與陌生人建立關(guān)系的第一步。一旦我們更了解他人，持續(xù)的感激之情會(huì)加強(qiáng)我們與他們的聯(lián)系。對(duì)他人的幫助心存感激，也會(huì)讓我們更愿意向不認(rèn)識(shí)的人提供幫助——心理學(xué)家莫妮卡·巴特利特(Monica Bartlett)發(fā)現(xiàn)了這種現(xiàn)象——這會(huì)讓別人也想要來(lái)了解我們。

But as we sit around the Thanksgiving table with family and friends, we are not typically looking to seek out other people and form new relationships. On that day, we are already among those we hold dear.

但當(dāng)我們與親朋圍坐在感恩節(jié)餐桌旁時(shí)，通常不會(huì)刻意尋找其他人并建立新關(guān)系。在這一天，我們已經(jīng)和自己所珍視的人在一起了。

To be clear, I’m not saying that taking time to reflect on and show appreciation for the good in life isn’t worthwhile. It’s surely a noble act. But from a scientific perspective — where emotions exist to nudge our decisions and behaviors toward certain ends — the benefits that gratitude offers tend to be rendered irrelevant on the day it’s most expressed.

需要明確的是，我并不是說(shuō)花時(shí)間反省、表達(dá)對(duì)生活中美好事物的欣賞是不值得的。這當(dāng)然是一種高尚的行為。但從科學(xué)的角度看——情緒的存在會(huì)推動(dòng)我們決定和行為朝著特定方向發(fā)展——感恩帶來(lái)的好處，往往在表達(dá)最多的那一天變得無(wú)關(guān)緊要。

Here’s another example. Work from my lab has shown that feeling grateful helps keep us honest. When my colleagues and I asked people to report whether a coin they flipped in private came up heads or tails (heads meant they’d get more money), those who had been made to feel grateful (by counting their blessings) cheated at half the rate of others. (We knew who cheated because the coin was rigged to come up tails.)

這里還有另一個(gè)例子。我的實(shí)驗(yàn)室研究表明，心懷感激有助于保持誠(chéng)實(shí)。當(dāng)我和同事們讓人們報(bào)告他們私下擲出的硬幣是正面還是反面時(shí)(正面意味著他們會(huì)得到更多錢(qián))，那些(通過(guò)歷數(shù)自己的幸福)變得心懷感激的人作弊率只有其他人的一半。(我們知道誰(shuí)作弊了，因?yàn)橛矌疟辉O(shè)計(jì)成反面朝上。)

Gratitude also makes us more generous: When people in our experiments were given an opportunity to share money with strangers, we found that those feeling gratitude shared 12 percent more on average.

感恩也會(huì)讓我們更加慷慨：在我們的實(shí)驗(yàn)中，當(dāng)人們有機(jī)會(huì)與陌生人分享金錢(qián)時(shí)，我們發(fā)現(xiàn)那些感恩的人平均會(huì)多分享12%。

Yet on Thanksgiving, cheating and stinginess aren’t sins we’re usually tempted to commit. (Unless you count my taking too big a serving of Aunt Donna’s famous stuffing.)

然而在感恩節(jié)，欺騙和吝嗇通常并不是我們會(huì)犯下的罪過(guò)。(除非你算上我吃了太多唐納阿姨出名的餡料。)

Self-control is also something gratitude enhances. Research by me and my colleagues found that people feeling grateful made less impulsive financial choices — they were more willing to be patient for future investment gains than to take smaller amounts of money in hand. This self-control also applies to eating: As the psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky and her colleagues showed, people feeling grateful are better able to resist consuming unhealthy foods.

自我控制能力也可以因感恩提高。我和同事的研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，感恩的人更少做沖動(dòng)的財(cái)務(wù)選擇——他們更愿對(duì)未來(lái)的投資收益保持耐心，而不是貪圖眼前小利。這種自控也適用于飲食：正如心理學(xué)家索尼婭·柳博米爾斯基(Sonja Lyubomirsky)和她同事的發(fā)現(xiàn)所表明的，感恩的人更能抵制不健康的食物。

But of course on Thanksgiving, self-control isn’t the point. No one needs a reminder to put more money in her retirement account; the banks are closed. And if I can’t be a bit gluttonous with Aunt Amy’s pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving, when can I?

但在感恩節(jié)，自我控制當(dāng)然不是重點(diǎn)。沒(méi)人需要借此提醒自己得在退休賬戶(hù)里多存錢(qián);銀行都關(guān)門(mén)了。況且如果我不能趁著感恩節(jié)多吃一點(diǎn)艾米阿姨的南瓜派，那要等什么時(shí)候呢?

Gratitude also drives us to be more productive. The psychologists Adam Grant and Francesca Gino found that when bosses expressed gratitude for their workers’ efforts in a fund-raising department, the outreach efforts of those workers suddenly jumped by 33 percent. More frequent feelings of gratitude in the office are also tied to greater feelings of work satisfaction and well-being.

感恩還會(huì)讓我們更有效率。心理學(xué)家亞當(dāng)·格蘭特(Adam Grant)和弗朗切絲卡·吉諾(Francesca Gino)發(fā)現(xiàn)，當(dāng)老板們對(duì)融資部門(mén)員工的辛勤表達(dá)感激時(shí)，這些員工的主動(dòng)努力會(huì)突然增加33%。在辦公室多表達(dá)感激，同樣與更高的工作滿意度和幸福感息息相關(guān)。

Again, this is all great. But unless you’re in the hospitality industry, you’re probably not working on Thanksgiving.

需要再說(shuō)一遍，一切感恩都很棒。但除非是服務(wù)行業(yè)，否則你可能不會(huì)在感恩節(jié)工作。

There’s one other benefit of gratitude I want to point out: It reduces materialism. As work by the psychologist Nathaniel Lambert has demonstrated, feeling more gratitude not only increases people’s satisfaction with their lives; it also lowers their cravings for buying stuff. This finding jibes with research by the psychologist Thomas Gilovich that shows that people tend to be more grateful for time spent with others than for gifts of big-ticket items.

我想指出感恩的另一個(gè)好處：它可以減少物質(zhì)主義。心理學(xué)家納撒尼爾·蘭伯特(Nathaniel Lambert)的研究表明，心存更多感激不僅會(huì)提高人們對(duì)生活的滿意度，也會(huì)降低他們購(gòu)買(mǎi)東西的欲望。這一發(fā)現(xiàn)與心理學(xué)家托馬斯·基洛維奇(Thomas Gilovich)的研究相符，該研究表明，比起昂貴的禮物，人們往往對(duì)與他人相處的時(shí)間更有感激之情。

But on Thanksgiving, avoiding impulse buys isn’t usually a big concern. (The following day, Black Friday, is another story.)

但在感恩節(jié)，避免購(gòu)物沖動(dòng)通常不是個(gè)大問(wèn)題。(但第二天的黑色星期五是另外一回事。)

So as you and your loved ones gather for Thanksgiving this year, consider that the joys of the day — the delicious food, the family and friends, the sense of peace — come relatively easily. We’re supposed to gather, support one another and relax on that fourth Thursday of November.

所以，當(dāng)你和你愛(ài)的人在今年感恩節(jié)相聚時(shí)，會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)這一天的歡樂(lè)——美味的食物、家人和朋友、平和的心境——其實(shí)來(lái)得相對(duì)容易。我們就應(yīng)該在11月的第四個(gè)星期四聚在一起，彼此慰藉，好好放松。

Yet on the other 364 days of the year — the ones when you might feel lonely, stressed at work, tempted to dishonesty or stinginess — pausing to cultivate a sense of gratitude can make a big difference. Gratitude may not be needed on Thanksgiving, but giving thanks on other days can help ensure that in the future, you’ll have many things to be grateful for.

但在一年中的其他364天——那些你可能會(huì)感到孤獨(dú)、工作壓力大、受惑去欺騙或小家子氣的日子里，停下來(lái)培養(yǎng)感恩之心就會(huì)帶來(lái)很大的不同。感恩節(jié)也許不需要感恩，但在其他日子的感恩，可以幫你確保在未來(lái)，你可以得到許多值得感恩的東西。