研究表明，你不能對(duì)孩子隱瞞你的壓力

研究表明，你不能對(duì)孩子隱瞞你的壓力

Parenting in the age of coronavirus is packed with stress. After all, you're juggling home schooling, work (or the lack of it) and the new realities of social distancing and isolation while trying to keep your family healthy and safe.

在冠狀病毒時(shí)代為人父母充滿了壓力。畢竟，你在努力維持家庭健康和安全的同時(shí)，還要應(yīng)付家庭教育、工作(或失業(yè))以及社交距離和隔離的新現(xiàn)實(shí)。

But if you're trying to hide that stress from your children -- even with the best intentions of protecting them from the pressure -- it's not going to work, according to a new study published Wednesday in the journal Family Psychology.

但是，如果你試圖向你的孩子隱藏這種壓力——即使你的本意是保護(hù)他們免受這種壓力——這是行不通的，根據(jù)周三發(fā)表在《家庭心理學(xué)》雜志上的一項(xiàng)新研究。

"If you're stressed and just say, 'Oh, I'm fine,' that only makes you less available to your child," said study author Sara Waters, an assistant professor in the department of human development at Washington State University.

該研究的作者、華盛頓州立大學(xué)人類發(fā)展部助理教授薩拉·沃特斯說(shuō):“如果你感到有壓力，只是說(shuō)，‘哦，我很好’，這只會(huì)讓你和孩子在一起的時(shí)間更少。”

We found that the kids picked up on that and reciprocated, which becomes a self-fulfilling dynamic," Waters said in a statement.

我們發(fā)現(xiàn)孩子們意識(shí)到了這一點(diǎn)，并做出了相應(yīng)的回應(yīng)，這就變成了一種自我實(shí)現(xiàn)的動(dòng)力。”沃特斯在一份聲明中說(shuō)道。

"These are fascinating findings about the way our bodies' physiology links up with our children's -- for good or bad," said Dr. Jenny Radesky, a developmental behavioral pediatrician who teaches at the University of Michigan.

在密歇根大學(xué)任教的發(fā)育行為兒科醫(yī)生珍妮·雷德斯基博士說(shuō):“這些發(fā)現(xiàn)很有意思，它們揭示了我們身體的生理機(jī)能與孩子的生理機(jī)能是如何聯(lián)系在一起的，不管這種聯(lián)系是好是壞。”

"There are so many things about Covid-19-related stresses that we may not want to express to our children, such as worries about relatives' health or finances," Radesky added.

雷德斯基補(bǔ)充說(shuō)：“與Covid-19相關(guān)的壓力有很多事情，我們可能不想向孩子表達(dá)，比如擔(dān)心親戚的健康或財(cái)務(wù)狀況。”

"These results suggest that stifling emotions don't get rid of them -- they stay under our skin in the form of changes in our heart and nervous system functioning," she said. "And as most parents know, they can pop out later in the form of irritability, overreacting to our children or yelling."

她說(shuō)：“這些結(jié)果表明，壓抑的情緒并不能消除——它們以心臟和神經(jīng)系統(tǒng)功能變化的形式留在我們的皮膚下。”而且大多數(shù)家長(zhǎng)都知道，他們可能會(huì)以易怒、對(duì)我們的孩子反應(yīng)過度或大叫的形式出現(xiàn)。”

The study put sensors on the bodies of 107 parents, nearly half of whom were dads, and their 7 to 11-year-old children. Parents were asked to list five topics of frequent conflict with their kids, and then they were given activities designed to create stress, such as public speaking.

這項(xiàng)研究在107名父母和他們7至11歲的孩子身上安裝了傳感器，其中近一半是父親。研究人員要求父母列出與孩子經(jīng)常發(fā)生沖突的五個(gè)話題，然后讓他們參加一些旨在制造壓力的活動(dòng)，比如公開演講。

Results showed that when parents repressed their stressful feelings, both the parents and the children were rated as "less warm" and "less engaged" with each other.

結(jié)果顯示，當(dāng)父母壓抑他們的緊張情緒時(shí)，父母和孩子都被評(píng)為“不太熱情”和“不太投入”。

"That makes sense for a parent distracted by trying to keep their stress hidden, but the kids very quickly changed their behavior to match the parent," Waters said.

沃特斯說(shuō)：“對(duì)于一個(gè)試圖隱藏壓力而分心的家長(zhǎng)來(lái)說(shuō)，這是有道理的，但孩子們很快就改變了自己的行為來(lái)配合父母。”

In fact, sensors on the child's body recorded a physical response when the parent hid their emotions, the study found.

研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，事實(shí)上，當(dāng)父母隱藏自己的情緒時(shí)，孩子身體上的傳感器會(huì)記錄下身體的反應(yīng)。

One interesting finding was a difference between mothers and fathers. When moms were told to hide their emotions, their children showed even more signs of stress on the physiological sensor and in their outward behavior. That didn't happen with dads, however.

一個(gè)有趣的發(fā)現(xiàn)是父母之間的差異。當(dāng)媽媽們被告知要隱藏自己的情緒時(shí)，她們的孩子在生理傳感器和外在行為上表現(xiàn)出更多的壓力跡象。不過，這在父親身上并沒有發(fā)生。

"We were looking for a physiological response, but there wasn't one in either the control or the experimental condition where dads transmitted stress to their kids," Waters said.

沃特斯說(shuō):“我們一直在尋找一種生理反應(yīng)，但無(wú)論是在對(duì)照組還是實(shí)驗(yàn)條件下，都沒有發(fā)現(xiàn)父親會(huì)將壓力傳遞給孩子。”

Don't guilt yourself over stress

不要因?yàn)閴毫Χ鴥?nèi)疚

The takeaway from the study for parents, Waters said, is to not stress about your stress.

沃特斯說(shuō)，這項(xiàng)針對(duì)父母的研究得出的結(jié)論是，不要為自己的壓力感到緊張。

Radesky agreed: "It's important for parents to know that this isn't meant to 'blame' them, but to give them the power to know that children can feed off of parents' emotional state in positive ways, too."

雷德斯基同意:“讓父母知道這并不是要‘責(zé)備’他們，而是讓他們知道孩子也可以從父母的情感狀態(tài)中獲得積極的東西，這一點(diǎn)很重要。”