父母如何塑造孩子的心理健康

父母如何塑造孩子的心理健康

Most parents know that their behavior has an effect on their children's mental health, now and possibly forever.

大多數(shù)父母都知道，他們的行為會(huì)影響孩子的心理健康，現(xiàn)在甚至可能永遠(yuǎn)如此。

As such, we strive to model equanimity and empathy as much as we can, with the small hope that these moments will outweigh the unhinged ones.

因此，我們努力盡可能地樹立冷靜和同理心的榜樣，希望這些時(shí)刻會(huì)超過(guò)精神錯(cuò)亂的時(shí)刻。

There are times when this is easier, and times when this is harder. Right now, just in case anyone out there remains unclear, it's much, much harder.

有時(shí)這很容易，有時(shí)這很困難?，F(xiàn)在，萬(wàn)一有人還不清楚，那就困難得多了。

With the pandemic, school closures, the climate crisis and political uncertainty, this year has made it difficult for anyone to reasonably hold it together.

隨著流行病、學(xué)校停課、氣候危機(jī)和政治不確定性，今年讓任何人都很難合理地團(tuán)結(jié)起來(lái)。

The good news is that kids don't need us to be pillars of strength amid the wreckage. Nor does a parent's anxiety or depression mean the kid will inevitably experience anxiety or depression now, or in the future.

好消息是孩子們不需要我們充當(dāng)廢墟中的力量支柱。父母的焦慮或抑郁并不意味著孩子現(xiàn)在或?qū)?lái)必然會(huì)經(jīng)歷焦慮或抑郁。

What matters more than how unsettled we feel is how we deal with these unsettling feelings. This is the case whether it's we parents or our kids experiencing anxiety or depression.

比我們感到不安更重要的是我們?nèi)绾翁幚磉@些不安的感覺。無(wú)論是作為父母的我們還是我們的孩子都經(jīng)歷著焦慮或抑郁。

The relationship between parent and children's mental health

父母與兒童心理健康的關(guān)系

There is a long-established relationship between parent and child mental health problems, explained Marcy Burstein, a clinical psychologist and employee of the National Institute of Mental Health, who has researched this topic.

美國(guó)國(guó)家心理健康研究所的臨床心理學(xué)家和雇員瑪西·伯斯廷研究過(guò)這個(gè)話題，她解釋說(shuō)，父母和孩子的心理健康問(wèn)題之間的關(guān)系由來(lái)已久。

Children of parents with anxiety disorders are four to six times more likely to develop an anxiety disorder in their lifetime, and children of parents with depression are three to four times more likely to develop depression. Often, these disorders appear in childhood or adolescence.

父母患有焦慮癥的孩子一生中患焦慮癥的幾率要高出4到6倍，而父母患有抑郁癥的孩子一生中患抑郁癥的幾率要高出3到4倍。這些疾病通常出現(xiàn)在兒童或青少年時(shí)期。

The why, however, remains uncertain. It's likely a combination of genetics, biology and environment, Burstein said. Also, it's not always something that is passed from parent to child; a child's behavior can impact their parent.

然而，原因仍不確定。伯斯廷說(shuō)，這可能是遺傳、生物學(xué)和環(huán)境的綜合作用。而且，它并不總是從父母?jìng)鹘o孩子的;孩子的行為會(huì)影響他們的父母。

"This is a bit of a chicken-and-egg phenomenon," Burstein said. "The relationship between parent and child is bidirectional and complex. "

伯斯廷說(shuō):“這有點(diǎn)像先有雞還是先有蛋的現(xiàn)象。父母和孩子之間的關(guān)系是雙向的、復(fù)雜的。”

But no matter where and how mental illness starts, Burstein wants parents to know that nobody is to blame.

但是，無(wú)論心理疾病從哪里開始，以何種方式開始，伯斯廷希望父母?jìng)冎?，沒有人應(yīng)該受到責(zé)備。

"Mental health issues should be considered like any other illness," she said. "We don't blame someone for having diabetes."

她說(shuō):“心理健康問(wèn)題應(yīng)該像對(duì)待其他疾病一樣對(duì)待。”“我們不會(huì)責(zé)怪患有糖尿病的人。”

Eli Lebowitz, director of the Yale Child Study Center's Program for Anxiety Disorders, agreed.

耶魯大學(xué)兒童研究中心焦慮癥項(xiàng)目主任艾莉·萊伯維茨對(duì)此表示贊同。

When it comes to children experiencing anxiety and depression, he rarely thinks a parent's own struggles with mental health are the direct cause.

他很少認(rèn)為父母自身與心理健康的斗爭(zhēng)是導(dǎo)致孩子焦慮和抑郁的直接原因。

"There is still this idea that it is all the parent's fault, which mental health, as a discipline, has a long history of saying," said Lebowitz, author of the forthcoming "Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents," "They have blamed parents for so many problems."

“仍然有一種觀點(diǎn)認(rèn)為這都是父母的錯(cuò)，心理健康作為一門學(xué)科，由來(lái)已久，”即將出版的《擺脫兒童焦慮和強(qiáng)迫癥：一項(xiàng)科學(xué)證明的家長(zhǎng)計(jì)劃》一書的作者萊伯維茨說(shuō)，“他們把那么多問(wèn)題歸咎于父母。”

This isn't to say parents have no influence over their children's mental well-being.

這并不是說(shuō)父母對(duì)孩子的心理健康沒有影響。

Emotional suffering is inevitable. Life is painful and uncomfortable at some point for all of us. If you never experience these feelings, well, I have some bad news. You're likely neck-deep in denial or toxic positivity (or both), and it isn't benefiting anyone, least of all yourself.

情感上的痛苦是不可避免的。生活在某種程度上對(duì)我們所有人來(lái)說(shuō)都是痛苦和不舒服的。如果你從未有過(guò)這種感覺，那么，我有個(gè)壞消息。你很可能深陷在否認(rèn)或消極的積極情緒中(或兩者皆有)，這對(duì)任何人都沒有好處，對(duì)你自己更是如此。

Sometimes anxiety and sadness can be managed without professional help. And sometimes they're so strong that they qualify as a clinical disorder and demand professional help.

有時(shí)，焦慮和悲傷可以在沒有專業(yè)幫助的情況下得到控制。有時(shí)它們太強(qiáng)大了，以至于它們被認(rèn)為是一種臨床疾病，需要專業(yè)的幫助。