讀點(diǎn)好英文:There Are No Mistakes, OnIy Lessons　沒(méi)有錯(cuò)誤，只有教訓(xùn)

所屬教程:英語(yǔ)漫讀

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2022年02月27日

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There Are No Mistakes, OnIy Lessons　沒(méi)有錯(cuò)誤，只有教訓(xùn)

·Richie·

Human growth is a process of experimentation, trial, and error, ultimately leading to wisdom. Each time you choose to trust yourself and take action, you can never quite be certain how the situation will turn out.Sometimes you are victorious, and sometimes you become disillusioned.The failed experiments, however, are no less valuable than the experiments that ultimately prove successful；in fact, you usually learn more from your perceived“failures”than you do from your perceived“successes”.

If you have made what you perceive to be a mistake, or failed to live up to your own expectations, you will most likely put up a barrier between your essence and the part of you that is the aIIeged wrong-doer. However, perceiving past actions as mistakes implies guilt and blame, and it is not possible to learn anything meaningful while you are engaged in blaming.Therefore, forgiveness is required when you are harshly judging yourself.

Forgiveness is the act of erasing an emotional debt. There are four kinds of forgiveness：

The first is beginner forgiveness for yourself.

The second kind of forgiveness is beginner forgiveness for another.

The third kind of forgiveness is advanced forgiveness of yourself. This is for serious transgressions, the ones you carry with deep shame.When you do something that violates your own values and ethics, you create a chasm between your standards and your actual behavior.In such a case, you need to work very hard at forgiving yourself for these deeds so that you can close this chasm and realign with the best part of yourself.This does not mean that you should rush to forgive yourself or not feel regret or remorse；but waIIowing in these feelings for a protracted period of time is not healthy, and punishing yourself excessively will only create a bigger gap between you and your ethics.

The last and perhaps most difficult one is the advanced forgiveness of another. At some time of our life, you may have been severeIy wronged or hurt by another person to such a degree that forgiveness seems impossible.However, harboring resentment and revenge fantasies only keeps you trapped in victimhood.Under such a circumstance, you should force yourself to see the bigger picture, by so doing, you will be able to shift the focus away from the anger and resentment.It is only through forgiveness that you can erase wrongdoing and clean the memory.When you can finally release the situation, you may come to see it as a necessary part of your growth.

里奇

人的成長(zhǎng)是一個(gè)不斷嘗試、不斷經(jīng)歷失誤，又不斷獲得新知的過(guò)程。每次，當(dāng)你信心十足并準(zhǔn)備采取行動(dòng)時(shí)，對(duì)于會(huì)有什么樣的結(jié)果，你無(wú)從知曉——或許成功，或許失敗。然而，失敗并不意味著毫無(wú)價(jià)值。事實(shí)上，我們往往能從失敗中學(xué)到比成功中更多的東西。

假如你犯了一個(gè)錯(cuò)誤，或是未達(dá)到自己所期望的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，你很可能會(huì)在真我與所謂的犯錯(cuò)者之間構(gòu)筑一道壁壘。然而，對(duì)以往的行為全盤(pán)否定，勢(shì)必會(huì)讓你感到內(nèi)疚、自責(zé)。當(dāng)你深陷其中時(shí)，就不可能從中汲取到有益的東西。因此，過(guò)分苛求自己時(shí)，最需要的就是自我寬恕。

寬恕就是放下情感上的包袱，抹平心靈上的創(chuàng)傷。它有四種類(lèi)型：

第一種是對(duì)自己的初級(jí)寬恕。

第二種是對(duì)他人的初級(jí)寬恕。

第三種是對(duì)自己更深層次的寬恕。這種寬恕是針對(duì)自己深感羞愧的極大惡行而言。如果你所做的事有悖于自己的價(jià)值觀和道德觀，這時(shí)，你就在自己的為人準(zhǔn)則和實(shí)際行動(dòng)間制造了一道裂痕。在這種情況下，你就必須努力悔改，以此來(lái)彌補(bǔ)過(guò)錯(cuò)，并要重新找到自我。當(dāng)然，這并不是說(shuō)你可以隨意地原諒自己，毫無(wú)悔改之意，但一味地埋怨自己是不健康的，過(guò)分的自我懲罰只會(huì)讓你偏離自己道德準(zhǔn)則的軌道越來(lái)越遠(yuǎn)。

第四種可能是最難的一種寬恕——是對(duì)他人深層次的寬恕。生活中，你也許會(huì)受到極大的委屈和傷害，以此來(lái)看，這似乎是不可原諒的。但是，心懷怨恨、企圖報(bào)復(fù)只會(huì)使你陷于受傷害的陰影中。在這種情況下，你就要強(qiáng)迫自己放寬胸懷。只有這樣，你才能把注意力從惱怒和仇恨中轉(zhuǎn)移開(kāi)來(lái)。只有做到寬恕，你才能忘卻過(guò)錯(cuò)，凈化心靈。于是，當(dāng)你最終把自己解脫出來(lái)時(shí)，很自然地，你就會(huì)把它看成是成長(zhǎng)過(guò)程中必不可少的一部分。

核心單詞

aIIege[?'led?]v.斷言，宣稱

ethics['eθiks]n.倫理觀；道德標(biāo)準(zhǔn)

waIIow['w?l?u]v.沉迷；縱樂(lè)

severeIy[si'vi?li]adv.嚴(yán)格地；嚴(yán)厲地；嚴(yán)重地

fantasy['f?nt?si]n.空想；幻想；夢(mèng)想

wrongdoing['r??'du：i?]n.做壞事；犯罪

實(shí)用句型

Therefore, forgiveness is required when you are harshIy judging yourseIf.

因此，過(guò)分苛求自己時(shí)，最需要的就是自我寬恕。

①is required是一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)的被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)，基本形式為 is\am\are+P.P.（過(guò)去分詞）。

②forgiveness寬恕，饒恕，名詞后綴ness加在形容詞后構(gòu)成抽象名詞，類(lèi)似的例子還有kindness 仁慈；tiredness 疲勞；happiness幸福，快樂(lè)，愉快；sadness 悲哀，悲傷等。