垂暮之年的登山客

Mortality and its Discontents

垂暮之年的登山客

ESTES PARK, Colo. — On the first day of the new year, as on the last day of the old year, I slip outside at dusk and try to run away from my problems. There is no better way to make sense of the daily clutter of inchoate thoughts than bouncing along a trail, immortality in every stride.

科羅拉多州埃斯特斯公園——新年的第一天，和去年的最后一天一樣，我在黃昏時(shí)分抽身來(lái)到戶外，試圖逃避自身所面臨的問(wèn)題。每天都會(huì)有一些混沌的思維在頭腦中橫沖直撞，要把它們理清楚，最好的辦法莫過(guò)于沿著一條小徑蹦蹦跳跳地前行，每一步仿佛都是不老的宣言。

Of course, everything hurts — joints, calf muscles, a toe that refuses to warm. When someone with more spring to the step passes by, I feel a pang of loss: I’ll never be that fast again. And then, loathing at having that thought. It’s a bad day when the most creative thing you do is come up with an unoriginal form of self-pity.

當(dāng)然了，哪兒都很疼，不管是關(guān)節(jié)，還是小腿肌肉，另外就是一個(gè)腳趾無(wú)法暖和起來(lái)。看到有人足下生風(fēng)般從旁邊經(jīng)過(guò)，一陣失落之感來(lái)襲：我再也無(wú)法那么快了。隨即又厭惡于自己會(huì)有這樣的想法。如果你一天中做的最有創(chuàng)意的事情，竟是缺乏新意的自憐自艾，那這一天過(guò)得也太糟糕了。

It helps to have smarter people musing on the same subject. “There is no escaping the tragedy of life, which is that we are all aging from the day we are born.” So writes Atul Gawande, surgeon, author and courier of common sense, in his book “Being Mortal.” He goes on to show that the real tragedy is not every click of the postpartum clock, but how we have come to see aging as a disease.

起到幫助作用的是，一些更聰明的人們思考了同樣的問(wèn)題。“一個(gè)無(wú)可回避的人生悲劇是，我們從出生那天就開始變老。”充斥著理性思維的外科醫(yī)生、作家阿圖爾·加萬(wàn)德(Atul Gawande)在他的著作《終有一死》(Being Mortal)中這樣寫道。他隨即指出，真正的悲劇不在于我們出生后時(shí)鐘一直滴滴答答地往前走，而在于我們一直都把衰老看作一種疾病。

I came to Dr. Gawande’s book after meeting a most remarkable man in this alpine town set against the overly ambitious geology of Rocky Mountain National Park — Tom Hornbein. He’s also a doctor, elfin and energetic, bearded and balding, who will defy gravity on many a day by clipping himself into a climber’s bolt on a vertical flank of said Rocky Mountains. He’s 84.

對(duì)加萬(wàn)德醫(yī)生這本書的閱讀，是在跟湯姆·霍恩賓(Tom Hornbein)碰面之后。我們的會(huì)面地點(diǎn)是這里的高山小鎮(zhèn)——背靠地貌雄奇的洛基山國(guó)家公園 (Rocky Mountain National Park)?；舳髻e相當(dāng)杰出，他也是一位醫(yī)生，精靈古怪而又充滿活力，大胡子，禿頭，常常借助登山扣在落基山脈陡峭的山崖上對(duì)抗地心引力。他今年84歲。

Climbers know Dr. Hornbein for his historic accomplishment in 1963: ascending the West Ridge of Mount Everest, with Willi Unsoeld, and surviving a night at 28,000 feet without tent or sleeping bag. If not the most extraordinary achievement in mountaineering, it is very high on the all-time list. “The night was overpoweringly empty,” he wrote. “Mostly there was nothing. We hung suspended in a timeless void.”

霍恩賓醫(yī)生曾經(jīng)取得的歷史性成就，讓登山者們知道了他的大名：1963年，他跟威利·安鎖德 (Willi Unsoeld)一起登上了珠峰西脊(West Ridge of Mount Everest)，并在海拔2.8萬(wàn)英尺的高度捱過(guò)了一個(gè)漫漫長(zhǎng)夜，沒(méi)有帳篷，也沒(méi)有睡袋。這即便不是登山史上最非凡的成就，也足以在排行榜上位列前茅。 “那個(gè)夜晚空虛得令人無(wú)法忍受，”他寫道，“那里幾乎一無(wú)所有，我們懸身于無(wú)盡的虛空之中。”

He got lucky, as there was no jet stream wind on that night. But luck, as they say, is the residue of design, and Tom Hornbein is nothing if not methodical. His book, “Everest: The West Ridge,” is widely recognized as a classic. It’s aging well, in part, because so many contemporary books on mountain climbing are all about score settling and product placement.

他是幸運(yùn)的。那天晚上沒(méi)有出現(xiàn)高速氣流。但常言道，好運(yùn)隨謀劃不期而至，湯姆·霍恩賓做事一直都很講究方法和策略。他的書《珠峰：西脊》 (Everest: The West Ridge)是公認(rèn)的經(jīng)典之作。它之所以經(jīng)久不衰，在某種程度上是因?yàn)楫?dāng)代很多關(guān)于登山的書籍通篇都有挾怨報(bào)復(fù)和植入廣告之嫌。

I was whining, in as diplomatic a way as possible, about reaching an age when the high summits no longer have quite the pull they did for me, when a beer and a brat on the 40-yard line can be just as enticing as looking down at cloud cover from Mount Rainier’s apex. After listening to Hornbein describe a routine that includes regular rock climbing with Jon Krakauer, another Colorado author and mountaineer, I asked him about his secret to aging.

我原本正盡可能地以得體的方式抱怨老年的來(lái)臨，步入這一年齡段后，我發(fā)覺高高的山峰沒(méi)了以往的吸引力。我寧愿喝喝啤酒，看看球賽，在雷尼爾山( Mount Rainier)的頂峰看云起云落也不過(guò)如此。聽完霍恩賓介紹完他的日?；顒?dòng)——包括定期跟科羅拉多州的另一位作家兼登山者喬恩·克拉考爾(Jon Krakauer)結(jié)伴攀巖——我問(wèn)他，不老的秘訣是什么。

It may be true, as George Orwell said, that “at 50, everyone has the face he deserves.” Orwell died at 46, so his observation was purely speculative. But what about the body we deserve? Hornbein clearly takes care of his, though he doesn’t make any of the annoying claims of the aging-well proselytizer.

喬治·奧威爾(George Orwell)曾說(shuō)過(guò)，“每個(gè)人到了50歲，都會(huì)有張他應(yīng)得的面孔”，這說(shuō)不定是真的。不過(guò)，奧威爾去世時(shí)年僅46歲，所以他的評(píng)論只是一種推測(cè)。那我們應(yīng)得的身體呢?霍恩賓顯然非常注意身體，但他沒(méi)有像那些老年健康問(wèn)題的說(shuō)教者一樣，發(fā)表一些令人厭煩的言論。

He said he experienced very little physical loss in his 50s and 60s. In his 70s, body parts started to creak and pop, and he noticed gradual decline with every year. In his 80s, he’s slower, much more cautious, and cognizant of his limitations. The will is there, if not always the way. But he shows up, proof again of the adage about success.

他稱自己50、60多歲時(shí)，身體沒(méi)怎么衰老。70多歲時(shí)，身體器官開始變得脆弱，出現(xiàn)問(wèn)題，他注意到自己的身體每況愈下。到了80多歲時(shí)，他的行動(dòng)變慢，也更加小心，他認(rèn)識(shí)到自己的局限性。意志還在，即便不是所有時(shí)間都是如此。他展現(xiàn)了這種意志，再次證明了有關(guān)成功的格言。

During a recent warm weather spell, “I got out with a young friend to do some bolt-clipping sport route he’d prepared for me to lead,” he said. “Not difficult, but quite enough.”

最近，在溫暖的天氣中，“我與一名年輕朋友外出運(yùn)動(dòng)，按照他為我準(zhǔn)備的領(lǐng)攀路線，借助登山扣攀爬，”他說(shuō)。“不難，但足夠了。”

Hornbein brought up Gawande’s book. He laughed at himself, noting that he was at an age when death is a regular topic of conversation. Hornbein goes to a lot of funerals. Friends, including some who touched the roof of the world, are dead or dying. He said all of this with a twinkle in his eye. Or at least it seemed that way to me.

霍恩賓提到了加萬(wàn)德的書。他開始自嘲，稱在他這樣的年紀(jì)，死亡已經(jīng)成為一個(gè)經(jīng)常討論的話題?；舳髻e參加了很多葬禮。朋友們要么已經(jīng)去世，要么是病入膏肓，其中包括那些攀上世界屋脊的朋友。他說(shuō)這些時(shí)，眼中閃爍著光芒?；蛘?，至少在我看來(lái)是這樣的。

Gawande makes the point that we’ve got to get over the idea that aging is a disease. “People live longer and better than any time in history,” Gawande writes. “But scientific advances have turned the process of aging and dying into medical experiences.” And he concludes, “Death of course is not failure. Death is normal.”

加萬(wàn)德指出，我們應(yīng)該放棄衰老是一種疾病的想法。“人們現(xiàn)在比歷史上任何時(shí)候的壽命都更長(zhǎng)，生活得也更好，” 加萬(wàn)德寫道。“但是科學(xué)上的進(jìn)步把衰老和死亡的過(guò)程變成了醫(yī)療經(jīng)歷。”他總結(jié)道，“死亡當(dāng)然不是失敗。死亡是正?，F(xiàn)象。”