Why Marrying Your Best Friend Is a Good Idea
為了幸福生活,和你的好朋友結(jié)婚吧
A new economics paper has some old-fashioned advice for people navigating the stresses of life: Find a spouse who is also your best friend.
新近發(fā)表的一篇經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)論文,給正面臨生活壓力的人提了一個有些老派的建議:找最好的朋友做你的配偶。
Social scientists have long known that married people tend to be happier, but they debate whether that is because marriage causes happiness or simply because happier people are more likely to get married. The new paper, published by the National Bureau of Economic Research, controlled for pre-marriage happiness levels.
社會科學(xué)家向來知道,已婚人士往往更幸福,但對于這是因?yàn)榛橐鰩砹诵腋?,還是說越幸福的人越可能走進(jìn)婚姻,他們意見不一。美國國家經(jīng)濟(jì)研究局 (National Bureau of Economic Research)新近發(fā)表的一篇論文,將婚前的幸福水平作為控制變量。
It concluded that being married makes people happier and more satisfied with their lives than those who remain single – particularly during the most stressful periods, like midlife crises.
文章的結(jié)論是,婚姻使人們比孑然一身者更幸福,對生活更滿意,特別是在壓力最大的時期,如中年危機(jī)。
Even as fewer people are marrying, the disadvantages of remaining single have broad implications. It’s important because marriage is increasingly a force behind inequality. Stable marriages are more common among educated, high-income people, and increasingly out of reach for those who are not. That divide appears to affect not just people’s income and family stability, but also their happiness and stress levels.
盡管結(jié)婚的人減少了,但單身的弊端影響廣泛。這一點(diǎn)頗為重要,因?yàn)榛橐鲈絹碓匠闪瞬黄降缺澈蟮囊粋€因素。穩(wěn)定的婚姻在受過教育的高收入人群中更普遍,而情況與之相反的人則越來越難獲得穩(wěn)定的婚姻。這一差異影響的似乎不僅是人們的收入和家庭的穩(wěn)定,還有他們的幸福和壓力狀況。
A quarter of today’s young adults will have never married by 2030, which would be the highest share in modern history, according to Pew Research Center. Yet both remaining unmarried and divorcing are more common among less-educated, lower-income people. Educated, high-income people still marry at high rates and are less likely to divorce.
皮尤研究中心(Pew Research Center)稱,當(dāng)下的年輕人中,有四分之一不會在2030年前結(jié)婚,這一比例將是現(xiàn)代歷史上的最高水平。但在受教育較少、收入較低的人群中,未婚和離異都更普遍。受過教育的高收入人群結(jié)婚的比例依然較高,離婚的可能性也更小。
Those whose lives are most difficult could benefit most from marriage, according to the economists who wrote the new paper, John Helliwell of the Vancouver School of Economics and Shawn Grover of the Canadian Department of Finance. “Marriage may be most important when there is that stress in life and when things are going wrong,” Mr. Grover said.
這篇文章的作者是兩名經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家,分別是溫哥華經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)院(Vancouver School of Economics)的約翰·赫利韋爾(John Helliwell)和加拿大財政部的肖恩·格羅弗(Shawn Grover)。他們認(rèn)為,生活最困難的人從婚姻中的受益最大。“當(dāng)生活中出現(xiàn)了壓力,有了問題時,婚姻可能是最重要的,”格羅弗說。
They analyzed data about well-being from two national surveys in the United Kingdom and the Gallup World Poll. In all but a few parts of the world, even when controlling for people’s life satisfaction before marriage, being married made them happier. This conclusion, however, did not hold true in Latin America, South Asia and sub-Saharan Africa.
他們對英國的兩項(xiàng)全國性調(diào)查,以及蓋洛普全球民意調(diào)查(Gallup World Poll)中和幸福有關(guān)的數(shù)據(jù)進(jìn)行了分析。全世界除少數(shù)幾個地方外,即便將婚前的生活滿意度作為控制變量,婚姻也會讓人們更幸福。然而,這一結(jié)論對拉美、南亞和撒哈拉以南的非洲來說不成立。
Intriguingly, marital happiness long outlasted the honeymoon period. Though some social scientists have argued that happiness levels are innate, so people return to their natural level of well-being after joyful or upsetting events, the researchers found that the benefits of marriage persist.
有趣的是,婚姻帶來的幸福遠(yuǎn)比蜜月期更長久。一些社會科學(xué)家稱,幸福感是與生俱來的,因而在令人高興或苦惱的事情過后,人們會回歸天生的幸福感,但研究人員發(fā)現(xiàn),婚姻帶來的益處會持續(xù)下去。
One reason for that might be the role of friendship within marriage. Those who consider their spouse or partner to be their best friend get about twice as much life satisfaction from marriage as others, the study found.
原因之一或許是婚姻中的友誼所起的作用。研究發(fā)現(xiàn),視配偶或伴侶為至交的人,從婚姻中獲得的生活滿足感大約是其他人的兩倍。
The effect of friendship seems to be the result of living with a romantic partner, rather than the legal status of being married, because it was as strong for people who lived together but weren’t married. Women benefit more from being married to their best friend than men do, though women are less likely to regard their spouse as their best friend.
友誼的這種影響,似乎源自和一個浪漫的伴侶一起生活,而非法律上的已婚身份,因?yàn)樗鼘δ切┪椿橥拥娜说挠绊懲瑯哟?。和男性相比,女性從與至交結(jié)婚中受益更多,不過女性視配偶為至交的可能性更低。
“What immediately intrigued me about the results was to rethink marriage as a whole,” Mr. Helliwell said. “Maybe what is really important is friendship, and to never forget that in the push and pull of daily life.”
“相關(guān)結(jié)果立即引起我的興趣,讓我重新從整體上考慮婚姻,”赫利韋爾說。“或許真正重要的是友誼,并且永遠(yuǎn)不要在日常生活的波折起伏中忘了這一點(diǎn)。”
Marriage has undergone a drastic shift in the last half century. In the past, as the Nobel-winning economist Gary Becker described, marriage was utilitarian: Women looked for a husband to make money and men looked for a woman to manage the household.
過去半個世紀(jì),婚姻經(jīng)歷了劇變。從前,就像獲得了諾貝爾獎的經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家加里·貝克爾(Gary Becker)所描述的那樣,婚姻是功利的:女性為了找個丈夫掙錢,男性為了找個妻子持家。
But in recent decades, the roles of men and women have become more similar. As a result, spouses have taken on roles as companions and confidants, particularly those who are financially stable, as the economists Betsey Stevenson and Justin Wolfers have discussed.
但近幾十年,男女的角色變得更加相似。結(jié)果,就像經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家貝特西·史蒂文森(Betsey Stevenson)和賈斯汀·沃夫斯(Justin Wolfers)討論的那樣,配偶承擔(dān)起了同伴和知己的角色,特別是那些經(jīng)濟(jì)狀況穩(wěn)定的人。
The benefits of marital friendship are most vivid during middle age, when people tend to experience a dip in life satisfaction, largely because career and family demands apply the most stress then. Those who are married, the new paper found, have much shallower dips – even in regions where marriage does not have an overall positive effect.
人到中年,往往會經(jīng)歷生活滿意度的下降,主要是因?yàn)檫@時職業(yè)和家庭需求帶來的壓力是最大的。這個時候,婚姻中的友誼益處最為明顯。新發(fā)表的這篇文章發(fā)現(xiàn),即便是在婚姻總體上未產(chǎn)生積極影響的地區(qū),已婚者生活滿意度下降的幅度也要小得多。