Steve and Yaser first met in their chemistry class at an American university. Yaser was aninter-national student from Jordan. He was excited to get to know an American. He wanted tolearn more about American culture. Yaser hoped that he and Steve would become good friends.
史帝夫和亞瑟最初是在一所美國(guó)大學(xué)的化學(xué)課上認(rèn)識(shí)的。亞瑟是從約旦來(lái)的國(guó)際學(xué)生。他很興奮能夠認(rèn)識(shí)美國(guó)人,他要更多學(xué)習(xí)美國(guó)文化;亞瑟希望他和史帝夫會(huì)成為好朋友。
At first, Steve seemed very friendly. He always greeted Yaser warmly before class.Sometimes he offered to study with Yaser. He even invited Yaser to eat lunch with him. Butafter the semester was over, Steve seemed more distant. The two former classmates didn't seeeach other very much at school. One day Yaser decided to call Steve. Steve didn't seem veryinterested in talking to him. Yaser was hurt by Steve's change of attitude. "Steve said we werefriends," Yaser complained. "And I thought friends were friends forever."
剛開(kāi)始史帝夫似乎非常友善,上課前他總是熱情地和亞瑟打招呼,有時(shí)他和亞瑟一起讀書(shū);他甚至邀請(qǐng)亞瑟一起共進(jìn)午餐。但是學(xué)期結(jié)束后,史帝夫似乎較冷淡了,這兩個(gè)以前的同學(xué)在學(xué)校不常碰面了。有一天,亞瑟決定打電話(huà)給史帝夫,史帝夫似乎沒(méi)有興趣和他講話(huà),對(duì)于史帝夫態(tài)度的改變,亞瑟感到受傷害?!甘返鄯蛟f(shuō)我們是朋友,」亞瑟抱怨,「而且我認(rèn)為一朝是朋友就永遠(yuǎn)是朋友?!?br />
Yaser is a little confused. He is an outsider to American culture. He doesn't understandthe way Americans view friendship. Americans use the word friend in a very general way. Theymay call both casual acquaintances and close companions "friends". Americans have schoolfriends, work friends, sports friends and neighborhood friends. These friendships are based oncommon interests. When the shared activity ends, the friendship may fade. Now Steve andYaser are no longer classmates. Their friendship has changed.
亞瑟有點(diǎn)困惑了,對(duì)于美國(guó)文化,他是個(gè)局外人(外行)。他不了解美國(guó)人對(duì)友誼的看法。美國(guó)人把「朋友」這個(gè)字用得非常廣泛,一般的泛泛之交和親密伙伴都算是朋友。美國(guó)人的朋友包含有學(xué)校的朋友、工作的朋友、運(yùn)動(dòng)的朋友或是街坊鄰居。這些友誼都是建立在共同的興趣上,當(dāng)共同從事的活動(dòng)結(jié)束時(shí),友誼也可能跟著消失了?,F(xiàn)在,史帝夫和亞瑟不再是同學(xué),他們的「友誼」也就改變了。
In some cultures friendship means a strong life-long bond between two people. In thesecultures friendships develop slowly, since they are built to last. American society is one of rapidchange. Studies show that one out of five American families moves every year. Americanfriendships develop quickly, and they may change just as quickly.
在一些文化里,友誼意即兩人之間一種強(qiáng)烈的,一世之久的情感。在這些文化里,友誼發(fā)展得慢,因?yàn)橐志?。但美?guó)是個(gè)急速變化的社會(huì),有些研究發(fā)現(xiàn)每年每五個(gè)美國(guó)家庭之中,就有一個(gè)家庭搬家。美國(guó)人的友誼建立得快,但也可能改變得快。
People from the United States may at first seem friendly. Americans often chat easily withstrangers. They exchange information about their families, hobbies and work. They may smilewarmly and say, "Have a nice day" or "See you later." Schoolmates may say, "Let's get togethersometime." But American friendliness is not always an offer of true friendship.
從美國(guó)來(lái)的人可能剛開(kāi)始看起來(lái)很親切。美國(guó)人常能很容易地和陌生人聊天,他們交換關(guān)于自己的家庭、興趣和工作的個(gè)人資料,他們可能熱情地微笑說(shuō)「祝你有愉快的一天」或是「待會(huì)兒見(jiàn)」,而同學(xué)也許會(huì)說(shuō)「我們找一天聚聚」,但是美國(guó)人的友善并不意謂真正的友誼。
After an experience like Yaser's, outsiders may consider Americans to be fickle. Learninghow Americans view friendship can help non-Americans avoid misunderstandings. It can alsohelp them make friends the American way.
經(jīng)過(guò)像亞瑟的經(jīng)歷之后,局外人也許會(huì)視美國(guó)人為善變的。了解美國(guó)人如何看待友誼,能夠幫助非美國(guó)人士避免誤會(huì),也能幫助他們以美國(guó)人的方式交朋友。
Here are a few tips on making friends with Americans:
以下是一些和美國(guó)人交朋友的秘訣:
1. Visit places Americans enjoy: parties, churches, Western restaurants, parks, sportsclubs.
1.到一些美國(guó)人喜歡去的地方:宴會(huì)、教會(huì)、西餐廳、公園和健身房。
2. Be willing to take the first step. Don't wait for them to approach you. Americans inChina may not know you speak English. They may be embarrassed if they can't speak yourlanguage.
2.樂(lè)意跨出第一步,不要等他們來(lái)接近你。在中國(guó)的美國(guó)人不知道你會(huì)不會(huì)講英語(yǔ)。如果他們不會(huì)講你的語(yǔ)言,他們可能覺(jué)得不好意思。
3. Use small talk to open the conversation. Ask them where they're from, why they cameto China, etc. Remember: Be careful to avoid personal questions about age, salary, maritalstatus and appearance.
3.以閑聊來(lái)展開(kāi)話(huà)題,問(wèn)他們來(lái)自哪里,為什么到中國(guó)等等。切記:注意避免非常私人的問(wèn)題,例如年齡、薪水、婚姻狀況和長(zhǎng)相。
4. Show an interest in their culture, their country or their job. (Americans like to talk aboutthemselves!)
4.對(duì)他們的文化、國(guó)家或者工作表示興趣。(美國(guó)人喜歡談?wù)撟约?
5. Invite them to join you for dinner or just for coffee or tea. Try to set a specific time.Americans sometimes make general invitations like "Let's get together sometime." Often this isjust a way to be friendly. It is not always a real invitation.
5.邀請(qǐng)他們和你一起吃飯或喝茶。要講定時(shí)間,否則,美國(guó)人有時(shí)會(huì)用一些一般性的邀請(qǐng),像「找個(gè)時(shí)間聚聚吧!」,但這只是表示友善的方法而非真正的邀請(qǐng)。
6. Don't expect too much at first. Maybe they're just being friendly. But maybe they dowant to be your good friends. It will take time to tell.
6.不要一開(kāi)始就對(duì)你們的友誼期待太多,也許他們只是表示友善,但也可能他們真的要做你的好朋友,這需要時(shí)間證明。
People like Yaser shouldn't give up trying to make American friends. Americans do valuestrong, life-long friendships, even with non-Americans. When making friends, it helps to have agood dose of cultural understanding.
像亞瑟一樣的人不應(yīng)放棄交朋友,美國(guó)人還是看重強(qiáng)烈,一生之久的友誼,即使是和非美國(guó)人士。交朋友時(shí),對(duì)于文化有某種程度的了解將會(huì)有所幫助。