研究：婚禮越盛大婚姻越幸福

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2015年02月10日

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The stress of organising a big wedding can leave many couples at breaking point, as they battle to coordinate a celebration on a scale which would tax even professional event planners.

But couples wrestling with 150-seat table plans should take heart, for new research suggests that bigger weddings predict more successful marriages.

A study by the University of Virginia in the US, found that couples who had larger ceremonies had higher-quality marriages.

Although cynics may argue that people who can afford an opulent wedding are likely to be financially secure, and therefore happier, the researchers claim that the correlation remains even when controlling for wealth.

They believe that marrying in front of a large number of people demonstrates greater commitment to the union while also discouraging divorce.

“There is some reason to believe that having more witnesses at a wedding may actually strengthen marital quality,” said lead author Dr Galena Rhoades.

“We try to keep our present attitudes and behaviours in line with our past conduct. The desire for consistency is likely enhanced by public expressions of intention.

“Weddings may foster support for the new marriage from within a couple’s network of friends and family. Those who hold a formal wedding are likely to have stronger social networks in the first place.”

The report is part of the ongoing National Marriage Project in the US which has been studying what makes marriages work since 1997.

The survey of 418 people found that only 30 percent of couples who had 50 or fewer guests at the wedding had highly-successful marriages. In contrast, nearly half (47 percent) of couples who had 150 guests or more had strong unions.

National Marriage Project director Brad Wilcox added: “Couples with larger networks of friends and family may have more help, and encouragement, in navigating the challenges of married life.”

The research also discovered that couples who had fewer partners before marriage were happier and more content.

Having several relationships before getting married may lead couples to compare their current partners with former lovers, the authors warn.

“We generally think that having more experience is better. If you were hiring an architect, for example, you would want to hire an architect with more, not less, experience to build your house," said Dr Rhoades.

“But what we find for relationships is just the opposite. Having more experience was related to having a less happy marriage.

“People who had been married before; people who had lived with a boyfriend or girlfriend before and those who had more sexual partners before marriage were each associated with having lower marital quality.

“Having more relationship experience may lead to a greater sense of what the alternatives are. If you have a greater sense of other options it may be harder to invest in, or commit to a marriage.”

The researchers call it the ‘Vegas Fallacy’ – not everything that happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, they warn.

“The past does not always stay in the past,” added Dr Rhoades.

Recent figures from the Office for National Statistics show that marriage in Britain is stronger than it has been for a generation.

The divorce rate in England and Wales is currently almost 20 percent lower than it was a decade ago.

The trend towards more stable marriages is being driven by younger people, with the divorce rates falling in all age groups up to 50 for men and 45 for women.

By contrast so-called “silver splitter” separations continue to surge, with the number of people over 60 heading to the divorce courts up three percent in a single year and 45 percent in a decade.

Adultery as a cause for divorce has also dropped to an all-time low, accounting for just 14 percent of dissolutions granted to wives in 2012. More than half of wives filing for divorce now cite their husband’s “ unreasonable behaviour”.

The overall divorce rate in England and Wales now stands at 10.8 for every 1,000 married people, a fifth lower than its level in 2002.

However an estimated 42 percent of marriages will still end in divorce.籌劃一場(chǎng)盛大的婚禮的壓力之大，可使眾多愛(ài)侶變?yōu)樵┘以古?。他們?yōu)檫@場(chǎng)盛典竭力協(xié)調(diào)、博弈，即便是職業(yè)婚禮策劃人也會(huì)備受煎熬。

不過(guò)那些為大辦婚宴而鬧騰的未婚夫妻們也不要灰心，最新研究顯示：婚禮越盛大，日后婚姻越幸福。

美國(guó)弗吉尼亞大學(xué)(University of Virginia)研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，婚禮儀式隆重的夫妻，其婚姻質(zhì)量更高。

雖然有些憤世嫉俗的人會(huì)說(shuō)，那些有能力擔(dān)負(fù)奢華婚禮的夫妻基本經(jīng)濟(jì)條件無(wú)憂(yōu)，所以日子自然過(guò)得愉悅。不過(guò)研究人員認(rèn)為，即便考慮到經(jīng)濟(jì)問(wèn)題，婚禮與幸福二者的聯(lián)系依然存在。

他們認(rèn)為，在大批來(lái)賓環(huán)繞下結(jié)婚可說(shuō)明夫妻二人對(duì)婚姻強(qiáng)烈責(zé)任感和熱忱之心，還可減少離婚的念頭。

“有理由相信，由更多人見(jiàn)證的婚禮可以鞏固婚姻。”研究主要發(fā)起人伽蘭那•羅德斯(Galena Rhoades)博士說(shuō)。

“我們有不改本心的愿望，公眾的關(guān)注會(huì)加強(qiáng)這種對(duì)一致性的渴望。

“婚禮使夫妻得到雙方親友對(duì)新婚的祝福，而那些鄭重其事舉辦婚禮的夫妻大多都擁有較牢固的社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)。”

這個(gè)報(bào)告來(lái)源于美國(guó)正在進(jìn)行的“國(guó)家婚姻項(xiàng)目”(National Marriage Project)，該項(xiàng)目從1977年便致力于研究婚姻幸福的秘密。

從對(duì)418人的調(diào)查發(fā)現(xiàn)，婚禮賓客少于50人的夫妻中，只有30%婚姻美滿(mǎn)。與之相反，婚禮賓客多于150人的夫妻中，近一半(47%)都是伉儷情深。

“國(guó)家婚姻項(xiàng)目”負(fù)責(zé)人布拉德•威爾考克斯(Brad Wilcox)補(bǔ)充說(shuō)道：“擁有較大親友關(guān)系網(wǎng)的夫妻在面對(duì)婚姻生活的挑戰(zhàn)時(shí)，可以得到更多幫助和鼓勵(lì)，為婚姻保駕護(hù)航。”

這項(xiàng)研究還發(fā)現(xiàn)，結(jié)婚之前戀愛(ài)次數(shù)較少的夫妻更幸福也更滿(mǎn)足。

婚前情史豐富的人容易拿現(xiàn)在伴侶和之前的戀人相比，研究發(fā)起人警告道。

“我們一般都認(rèn)為經(jīng)驗(yàn)豐富點(diǎn)好。比如說(shuō)如果你要請(qǐng)一個(gè)建筑師幫你造房子，你總會(huì)希望他是個(gè)中老手，而不是個(gè)新入行的菜鳥(niǎo)。”羅德斯博士說(shuō)道。

“但是在婚姻關(guān)系中卻正相反。情史豐富往往與婚姻不幸相關(guān)聯(lián)。”

“結(jié)過(guò)婚的、和戀人同居過(guò)的、婚前有好幾個(gè)性伴侶的，其婚后生活都較不如意。

“戀愛(ài)經(jīng)驗(yàn)豐富的人更懂得給自己留回旋的余地，他們總能意識(shí)到還有別的選擇，因此更難全心投資，或說(shuō)投入婚姻。”

他們警告道，這是研究人員口中的“拉斯維加斯謬論”(Vegas Fallacy)——不是所有發(fā)生在拉斯維加斯的事都會(huì)留在拉斯維加斯。

“過(guò)去的事情總會(huì)對(duì)現(xiàn)在有一定影響。”羅德斯博士補(bǔ)充道。

英國(guó)國(guó)家統(tǒng)計(jì)署(Office for National Statistics)的最新數(shù)據(jù)顯示，英國(guó)人的婚姻現(xiàn)狀比上一代人要穩(wěn)固。

現(xiàn)在英格蘭和威爾士的離婚率比十年前低近乎20%。

青年一代是穩(wěn)固婚姻浪潮的主力軍，如今50歲以下男人和45歲以下女人的離婚率都已下降。

與之相反的是所謂“銀發(fā)一族”的離婚率持續(xù)高漲。為離婚上法庭的60歲以上老人每年以3%增長(zhǎng)，十年內(nèi)已增長(zhǎng)45%。