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老友記第二季The One Where Eddie Won Go

所屬教程:老友記第二季

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The One Where Eddie Won't Go

[Scene: Chandler's bedroom. Chandler is sleeping and Eddie is there watching him.]

[Chandler wakes up]

CHANDLER: Hey Eddie. Daahh!! What're you doin' here?

EDDIE: Nothin' roomie, just watchin' you sleep.

CHANDLER: Why?

EDDIE: Makes me feel um, peaceful, heh-heh, please.

CHANDLER: I can't sleep now.

EDDIE: You want me to sing?

CHANDLER: No, look, that's it, it's over, I want you out, I want you out of the apartment now.

EDDIE: Woah, woah, woah, what're, what're you talkin' about man.

CHANDLER: Hannibal Lecter...better roommate than you.

EDDIE: No. See now I don't think you're being fair. I mean one night you see me and you get scared, I mean, what about all the other nights when you don't see me, huh? What about last night when you went and got a drink of water and I was nice enough to hide behind the door, what's that about, huh?

CHANDLER: I didn't realize that.

EDDIE: Yeah.

CHANDLER: GET OUT NOW!!

EDDIE: Ok, you really want me out?

CHANDLER: Yes please.

EDDIE: Ok, then I want to hear you say it, I, I want to hear you say you want me out.

CHANDLER: I want you out.

EDDIE: No no no, I wanna hear it from your lips.

CHANDLER: Where did you hear it from before?

EDDIE: Oh, right, all right, you know what pallie I understand, consider me gone, you know what, I'll be out by the time you get home from work tomorrow.

[Eddie leaves the room and Chandler mouths "Thank you" to himself]

EDDIE: I heard that.

OPENING TITLES

[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Rachel are there, Joey enters wearing an old looking hat.]

JOEY: Hey.

MONICA: Hey.

RACHEL: Hey. Whe-ell, look at you, finally got that time machine workin' huh?

JOEY: Seriously, you like it? This guy was sellin' them on 8th avenue and I looked at 'em and I though, you know what I don't have?

MONICA: A mirror?

JOEY: Fine, make fun. I think it's jaunty.

MONICA: Wow, for a guy who's recently lost his job, you're in an awfully good mood.

JOEY: Hey, I'll be alright. I mean it's not like I'm starting from sqare one. I was Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives. Heh? I mean that's gotta have some kind of cache.

MONICA: Cache? Jaunty?

JOEY: Chandler gave me word of the day toilet paper. I'm gonna get some coffee.

[Phoebe enters]

PHOEBE: Hey.

MONICA: Hey.

RACHEL: Hey.

PHOEBE: Oooh, so so so, did you read the book?

MONICA: Oh my God, it was incredible.

PHOEBE: Didn't it like totally speak to you?

RACHEL: Woah, woah, woah, what book is this?

MONICA: Rachel you have to read this book. It's called Be Your Own Windkeeper. It's about how women need to become more empowered.

PHOEBE: Yeah and oh, and but there's, there's wind and the wind can make us Goddesses. But you know who takes out wind? Men, they just take it.

RACHEL: Men just take out wind?

PHOEBE: Ya-huh, all the time, cause they are the lightning bearers.

RACHEL: Wow.

PHOEBE: Yeah.

RACHEL: Well that sounds kinda cool, kinda like The Hobbit.

MONICA: It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard.

PHOEBE: Oh yes, no, Richard would never steal your wind.

MONICA: No.

PHOEBE: No, 'cause he's yummy.

MONICA: Yes. But all the other ones.

PHOEBE: Oh yes. Oh and, the part about how they're always like drinking from out pool of inner power, but God forbid we should take a sip.

JOEY: Anybody want a croan.

PHOEBE: Ok, this is a typical lightning-bearer thing. Right there, it's like, um, 'Hello, who wants one of my fallic shaped man cakes?'

[Scene: Estelle Leonard Talent Agency.Joey is there.]

ESTELLE: Don't worry about it already. Things happen.

JOEY: So, you're not mad at me for getting fired and everything?

ESTELLE: Joey, look at me, look at me. Do I have lipstick on my teeth?

JOEY: No, can we get back to me?

ESTELLE: Look honey, people get fired left and right in this business. I already got you an audition for Another World.

JOEY: Alright. Cab driver number two?

ESTELLE: You're welcome.

JOEY: But I was Dr. Drake Remoray. How can I go from bein' a neurosurgeon to drivin' a cab?

ESTELLE: Things change, roll with em.

JOEY: But this is a two line part, it's like takin' a step backwards. I'm not gonna do this.

ESTELLE: Joey, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minser and his pyramid of dogs. Take any job you can get and don't make on the floor.

JOEY: I'm sorry. See ya.

[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are there. Rachel has just finished reading the book.]

RACHEL: Oh, God, oh, God, I mean it's just so.

MONICA: Isn't it.

RACHEL: Uhh, I mean this is like reading about my own life. I mean this book could have been called 'Be Your Own Windkeeper Rachel'.

PHOEBE: I don't think it would have sold a million copies but it would have made a nice gift for you.

ROSS: Hey you guys.

MONICA: Hey.

ROSS: Uh, sweetie we've gotta go.

RACHEL: NO!

ROSS: No?

RACHEL: No, why do we always have to do everything according to your time table?

ROSS: Actually it's the movie theatre that has the time schedule. So you don't miss the beginning.

RACHEL: No, see this isn't about the movie theatre, this is about you stealing my wind.

MONICA: You go girl. I can't pull that off can I?

ROSS: Excuse me, your, your, your wind?

RACHEL: Yes, my wind. How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow?

ROSS: You, you know I, I don't, have a- have a problem with that.

RACHEL: Ok, I just, I just really need to be with myself right now. I'm sorry.

PHOEBE: Um-um, um-um.

RACHEL: You're right, I don't have to apologize. Sorry. Damnit!

[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey and Ross enter.]

JOEY: What is it?

ROSS: I, I don't know, it's got all this stuff about wind and trees and there's some kind of sacred pool in it. I mean, I don't really get it but she's, she's pretty upset about it.

JOEY: See, this is why I don't date women who read. Uh-oh.

ROSS: What, what's that?

JOEY: It's my VISA bill. Envelope one of two. That can't be good.

ROSS: Open it, open in.

JOEY: Oh my God.

ROSS: Woah.

JOEY: Look at this, how did I spend so much money?

ROSS: Uh Joey, that's just the minumum amount due, that's your total due.

JOEY: Ahh.

ROSS: What, woah, woah, $3500 at porcelain safari?

JOEY: My animals. Hey the guy said they suited me, he spoke with an accent, I was all confused. I don't know what I'm gonna do.

ROSS: Well I guess you can start by drivin a cab on Another World.

JOEY: What?

ROSS: That audition.

JOEY: That's a two line part.

ROSS: Joey, you owe $1100 at I Love Lucite.

JOEY: So what.

ROSS: So suck it up man, it's a job, it's money.

JOEY: Hey, look, I don't need you getting all judgemental and condescending and pedantic.

ROSS: Toilet paper?

JOEY: Yeah.

ROSS: Look, I'm not being any of those things, ok, I'm just being realistic.

JOEY: Well knock it off, you're supposed to be my friend.

ROSS: I am your friend.

JOEY: Well then tell me things like, 'Joey you'll be fine,' and, 'Hang in there,' and, and, 'Somethin' big's fonna come along, I know it.'

ROSS: But I don't know it. What I do know is that you owe $2300 at Isn't it Chromantic.

JOEY: Hey Ross, I'm aware of what I owe.

ROSS: Ok, well then get some sense. I mean it took you what, 10 years to get that job, who knows how long it's gonna be till you get another.

JOEY: Look, I don't wanna hear this right now.

ROSS: Huh, I'm just saying...

JOEY: Well don't just say.

ROSS: Ya know, maybe, maybe I should just go.

JOEY: Ok.

ROSS: Ok. I'll see ya later. Just think about it, ok.

JOEY: I don't need to think about it. I was Dr. Drake Remoray. That was huge. Big things are gonna happen, you'll see. Ross, you still there?

[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler peeks in the door. He doesn't see Eddie so he enters, breathing a sigh of relief. Eddie pops up from behind the bar.]

EDDIE: Hey pal.

CHANDLER: Ahhhh-gaaaahhh. Eddie what're you still doin' here?

EDDIE: Ah, just some basic dehydrating of a few fruits and vegetables. MAN ALIVE this thing's fantastic!

CHANDLER: Look Eddie, aren't you forgetting anything?

EDDIE: Oh yeah, that's right, look I got us a new goldfish. He's a lot fiestier that the last one.

CHANDLER: Maybe 'cause the last one was made by Pepperidge Farm. Look Eddie, isn't there something else you're supposed to be doing right now?

EDDIE: Well, not unless it's got something to do with dehydrating my man because right now I'm a dehydrating maniac!

CHANDLER: Look you have to help me out here. I thought we had a deal. I thought by the time...

EDDIE: Ah-ah-ah, you know what that is?

CHANDLER: Your last roommate's kidney?

EDDIE: That's a tomato. This one definitely goes in the display.

[Scene: Central Perk. Joey goes up to the bar to order.]

JOEY: Hey Gunther, let me get a lemonade to go.

GUNTHER: Lemonade? You ok man?

JOEY: Ah, it's career stuff. I don't know if you heard but they killed off my character on the show.

GUNTHER: Oh, that's too bad. How'd they do it?

JOEY: I fell down an elevator shaft.

GUNTHER: That sucks. I was buried in an avalanche.

JOEY: What?

GUNTHER: I used to be Bryce on All My Children.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler is sleeping on the couch. Monica walks by and starts watching him.]

[Chandler wakes up]

CHANDLER: Daaahhhh!

MONICA: Aaahhhhhhh! Aaahhhh!

CHANDLER: Why must everybody watch me sleep? There'll be no more watching me sleep, no more watching.

MONICA: I wa-

CHANDLER: Uuuh.

[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is returning from Monica and Rachel's with his bedding. Eddie is standing at the bar with his dehydrator and loads of fruit.]

EDDIE: Hey man, check it out, I got some great stuff to dehydrate here. I got some grapes, got some apricots, I thought it would be really cool to see what happens with these water balloons.

CHANDLER: Get out. Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out.

EDDIE: What?

CHANDLER: You, move out. Take your fruit, your stupid small fruit and GET OUT!

EDDIE: You, you want, you want me to move out?

CHANDLER: Uh-huh.

EDDIE: I uh, I gotta tell you man, I mean, that's uh, it's kinda out of the blue, I mean don't you think?

CHANDLER: This is not out of the blue, this is smack dab in the middle of the blue.

EDDIE: Ohhhh. Relax, take it easy buddy. Tell me twice, you want me to go? Alright, alright, guess I'll be back for my stuff. [walks out the door and after a pause comes back in] But if you think for one second I'm leaving you alone with my fish, you're insane Jack!

CHANDLER: You want some help.

EDDIE: No help required Chico. [reaches into the tank and grabs the fish and puts it in his pocket]

[Scene: Joey is at the cab driver interview.]

JOEY: All the way to the airport huh? You know that's over 30 miles, that's gonna cost you about so bucks.

CASTING GUY: Excuse me, that's 50 bucks.

JOEY: What?

CASTING GUY: Five oh dollars.

JOEY: Ohh, you know what it is? It's smudgy 'cause they're fax pages. Now when I was on Days of Our Lives as Dr. Drake Remoray, they'd send over the whole script on real paper and everything.

CASTING GUY: That's great.

JOEY: And, and just so you know, if you wanted to expand this scene like, like have the cab crash or somethin', I could attend to the victims 'cause I have a background in medical acting.

CASTING GUY: Ok, listen, thanks for coming in.

JOEY: No no, uh, don't thank me for comin' in. Uh, at least let me finish. Uh, we could take the expressway but uh, this time of day you're better off taking the budge. You were goin' for the word bridge there weren't ya. I'll have a good day. [gets up and leaves]

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the coffee table.]

PHOEBE: Ok, question number 28, have you ever allowed a lighning bearer to take your wind? I would have to say no.

MONICA: And I would have to say pah-huh.

PHOEBE: What?

MONICA: Do you not remember the puppet guy?

RACHEL: Yeah you like totally let him wash his feet in the pool of your inner power.

MONICA: And his puppet too.

PHOEBE: Yeah ok, well at least I didn't let some guy into the forest of my righteous truth on the first date.

MONICA: Who?

PHOEBE: Paul.

MONICA: Oh.

RACHEL: Ok, ok, ok, moving on, moving on, next question. Ok number 29, have you ever betrayed another goddess for a lightning bearer? Ok, number 30.

MONICA: Woah, woah, woah, let's go back to 29.

RACHEL: Not uh, not to my recollection.

MONICA: Huuh, alright, Danny Arshak, ninth grade. Oh, c'mon Rach, you know the bottle was totally pointing at me.

RACHEL: Only 'cause you took up half the circle.

PHOEBE: Listen to you two. It's so sad. Looks like I'm gonna be going to the goddess meetings alone.

RACHEL: Well not when they find out you slept with Jason Hurley an hour after he broke up with Monica.

MONICA: One hour? You are such a leaf blower.

[Monica goes into her room and slams the door. Rachel does the same. Phoebe, without a door to slam, opens a small chest and slams the lid.]

[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is watching movers take all his stuff away.]

JOEY: Oh hey uh, be careful with that 3-D last supper, Judas is a little loose.

ROSS: [enters] Oh my God, what's goin' on?

JOEY: They're takin all my stuff back. I guess you were right.

ROSS: No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey.

JOEY: Thanks Ross.

ROSS: Yeah. And you should hold out for something bigger. I can't tell you how much respect I have for you not going to that stupid cab driver audition.

JOEY: I went.

ROSS: Great, how did it go?

JOEY: I didn't get it.

ROSS: Good for you.

JOEY: What?

ROSS: You're livin' the dream.

JOEY: Huh?

ROSS: All right then.

JOEY: [movers removing a glass parrot] Oh, not my parrot.

ROSS: What?

JOEY: I can't watch this.

ROSS: [approaching the mover holding the parrot] Hey hold on, hold on. How much for the uh, how much to save the bird?

MOVER: 1200.

ROSS: Dollars? You spent $1200 dollars on a plastic bird?

JOEY: Uhhh, I was an impulse buyer, near the register.

ROSS: Go ahead, go ahead with the bird. Ok, do you have anything for around 200?

MOVER: Uh, the dog. [points to a big poecelain greyhound]

ROSS: Huh.

MOVER: Yeah.

ROSS: I'll take it. My gift to you man.

JOEY: Thanks Ross. I really like that bird though...I'll take the dog though.

[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Phoebe are sitting ignoring each other. Rachel walks up with two pieces of cake.]

RACHEL: Here are your cakes.

MONICA: We didn't order cake.

RACHEL: No, I know, they're from me. Look you guys this is not good. I mean we have enough trouble with guys stealing our wind without taking it from each other.

MONICA: You're right.

RACHEL: You know.

PHOEBE: I love you goddesses. I don't ever want to suck your wind again.

RACHEL: Thank you. So are we good?

MONICA: We're good.

RACHEL: We're good?

PHOEBE: Yeah.

RACHEL: Ok, let me take these cakes back 'cause they're gonna take that out of my paycheck.

CHANDLER: [enters] Ding dong, the psycho's gone.

MONICA: Are you sure this time?

CHANDLER: Yes, yes I actually saw him leave. I mean that guy is standing in the window holding a human head. He is STANDING IN THE WINDOW HOLDING A HUMAN HEAD!

EDDIE: [enters] Check it out man, I tore it off some mannaquin in the alley behind Macy's.

MONICA: There is no alley behind Macy's.

EDDIE: So I got it in the junior miss department, big diff. Anyway check it out man, it's gonna make a hell of a conversation piece at out next cocktail party, huh pal?

CHANDLER: Our next cocktail party?

EDDIE: Yeah, you know, put chips in it, we'll make like a chip chick.

CHANDLER: Eddie, do you remember yesterday?

EDDIE: Uh yes, I think I vaguely recall it.

CHANDLER: Do you remember talking to me yesterday?

EDDIE: Uh, yes.

CHANDLER: So what happened?

EDDIE: We took a road trip to Las Vegas man.

CHANDLER: Oh sweet Moses.

MONICA: So on this road trip, did you guys win any money?

EDDIE: Naah, I crapped out, but Mr. 21 over here he cleans up, 300 bucks, check it out he buys me these new shoes, sweet huh?

MONICA: Nice.

EDDIE: Yeah. Well see ya upstairs. See ya pals.

PHOEBE: Is anyone else starting to really like him?

[Scene: Hallway outside Chandler and Joey's apartment. Eddie walks up.]

[Eddie tries his key and it won't work. He knocks and Chandler answers the door. He's got the door chained.]

CHANDLER: May I help you?

EDDIE: Why doesn't my key work and what's all my stuff doin' downstairs?

CHANDLER: Well, I'm, I'm sorry...[Eddie forces his head in the door] Ahhh. Have we met?

EDDIE: It's Eddie you freak, your roommate.

CHANDLER: I, I'm sorry, I uh [unchains the door and opens it all the way] I already have a roommate. [Joey turns around in the leather recliner]

JOEY: Hello.

CHANDLER: Yeah, he's lived here for years, I don't, I don't know what you're talking about man.

EDDIE: No he, he moved out and I moved in.

CHANDLER: Well I, I think we'd remember something like that.

JOEY: I know I would.

EDDIE: Well that's uh, that's a good point. Um ok, well, uh, I guess I got the wrong apartment then. I, I'm, look, I'm, ya know, I'm sorry, I'm terriably sorry.

JOEY: Hey no problem.

CHANDLER: See ya. [shuts the door] Goodbuy you fruit drying psychopath. So you want me to help you unpack your stuff?

JOEY: Na, na I'm ok. Oh and uh, just so you know, I'm not movin' back in 'cause I have to. Well, I mean, I do have to. It's just that that place wasn't really, I mean, this is...

CHANDLER: Welcome home man. [they hug and jump around]

JOEY: A little foos?

CHANDLER: Absolutely.

JOEY: What happened to the foosball?

CHANDLER: Ah that's a cantelope.

CLOSING CREDITS

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are hauling out the porcelain dog from Joey's room. Chandler is holding the dog by the rear in a rather interesting position.]

CHANDLER: Hey look, are we gonna have to bring this out every time Ross comes over?

JOEY: He paid a lot of money for it.

CHANDLER: I'm gonna hold him a different way. Look I don't understand, if you hated it so much, why did you buy it in the first place?

JOEY: Well, I had a whole ceramic zoo thing goin' over there but now, without the other ones, it just looks tacky.

CHANDLER: So is he housetrained or is he gonna leave little bathroom tiles all over the place? Stay. Good, STAY! Good fake dog.

END


艾迪
你在這里干什么?
沒什么,只是看你睡覺
為什么?
那會讓我覺得…平靜
請繼績
我睡不著了
要不要我唱搖籃曲?
夠了 我要你現(xiàn)在就給我搬出去
你在說什么,老兄?
人魔…
當(dāng)室友都好過你
我認(rèn)為你這話不公平
你看到我一次就怕了
那沒看到我的那些夜晚呢
那你昨天晚上起來喝水…
…我好心躲在門后
沒讓你看到呢?
我根本就不知道
你馬上給我出去
真的要我出去?
對,請你快出去
那我要聽到你說
你要我出去
我要你出去
不…我要聽到你的嘴說
那剛才是我的哪里跟你說的?
對,好吧你知道嗎?
朋友,我走了
知道嗎?我會在你明天下班前搬出這里
謝謝
我聽到了
你看你
終于用時光機(jī)回到過去了
喜不喜歡?
我在第八街跟一個家伙買的
我看到的時候心里在想…
…”知道我缺什么嗎?”
鏡子?
很好,笑啊,我覺得很快活
對一個剛失業(yè)的人來說
你心情很好呀
不要緊的
又不是說我要從零開始
我可是”我們的日子”里面的雷崔克大夫
那一定可以算是一項(xiàng)儲備吧
儲備?快活?
錢德送我一卷”每日一句”衛(wèi)生紙
我要去點(diǎn)咖啡了
書看了沒有啊?
天啊,簡直不可思議
是不是完全說出你的心聲?
什么書啊?
瑞秋,這本書你一定要讀
書名是《掌握自己的“風(fēng)”》
是寫女人需要擁有更多權(quán)力
對,但是有…有風(fēng)
風(fēng)能夠讓我們變成女神
知道誰取走我們的風(fēng)嗎?
男人,他們就那樣拿走了
男人就這樣拿走我們的風(fēng)?
對呀,一天到晚
因?yàn)樗麄兪情W電使者
聽起來蠻酷的,有點(diǎn)像是哈勃
那完全不像哈勃
那就像在讀我有過的每一段關(guān)系
除了理查之外
理查絕不會偷走你的風(fēng)
不會,因?yàn)樗芸煽?br /> 對,但是其他的都會
還有,他們總是吸走…
…我們儲存的內(nèi)在力量
但我們連嘗一口都不準(zhǔn)
誰要吃根長條糕?
這就是典型的閃電使者行為
就像是…
…”哈羅,誰要來一根我的老二形蛋糕?”
你別擔(dān)心了,人有禍福的
所以我這次被炒魷魚你不會生氣嗎?
喬伊,看著我
看著我
我的牙齒上有口紅嗎?
沒有,我們說回我,好不好?
聽著,親愛的
這一行到處有人被炒魷魚
我已經(jīng)幫你找到了
”另一個世界”的試鏡機(jī)會了
好棒
計(jì)程車司機(jī)乙?
不客氣
可是我演過霍崔克大夫
我怎么能從神經(jīng)外科醫(yī)生
演到一個計(jì)程車司機(jī)?
世事無常,隨遇而安吧
可是他只有兩句話
就像在開倒車
我不要演這個
喬伊,這句話我也勸過明艾爾…
…跟他的金字塔狗群
有什么就做什么
不要隨地亂搞
抱歉
改天見
天啊
天啊,我是說,這好…
不是嗎?
這就像是讀我自己的生活
我是說這書可以改做
”掌握自己的風(fēng),瑞秋”
我不認(rèn)為那會賣一百萬本…
…但要當(dāng)禮物送給你,到滿合適的
甜心,我們得走了
不,為什么我們做什么事
都得照你的時間表來呢?
事實(shí)上,我們照的是電影院的時間表
這樣我們才不會錯過開頭啊
不,你瞧,這不是關(guān)于電影院
這是關(guān)于你偷了我的風(fēng)
加油,妹子
我說得不好,是不是?
對不起,你的風(fēng)?
對,我的風(fēng)
你不讓我吹,我怎么能成長?
你知道…
…我倒不會反對呀
我只是很需要
自己一個人靜一靜
很抱歉
你說得對,我不需要跟他道歉
抱歉,該死
怎么了?不知道
是關(guān)于什么風(fēng)呀樹呀…
…里頭還有什么神圣的池塘
我不是很懂
但她很生氣
所以我不跟看書的女人約會
那是什么?
我的信用卡帳單
兩封里的第一封
不可能是好事,打開來看看
天啊
你看看我怎么會花這么多錢?
喬伊,那只是最低應(yīng)繳金額
總金額在這里
你買了一套瓷器
花了3500塊錢?
我那些動物瓷器
那店員說很適合我
他講話有口音,我被搞迷糊了
我不知道該怎么辦
我想你可以從”另一個世界”開計(jì)程車開始
什么?
不是有試鏡機(jī)會?
那只有兩句臺詞
喬伊,你欠”我愛樹脂”1100塊錢
怎么樣?
所以就認(rèn)命吧,老兄
那是工作,錢
聽著,我不需要你那一套說教
“每日一句”衛(wèi)生紙?
聽著,我沒有那樣
我只是很實(shí)際而已
別說了,你是我的朋友才對
我是你的朋友
那你就該勸我說 ”喬伊,沒問題的”
”撐下去你會得到大角色的,我知道”
但是我不知道
我只知道你欠”繽紛世界”這家店2300大洋
羅斯,我知道我欠多少
那就講一點(diǎn)道理啊
你奮斗了十年才得到那份工作
誰知道下一個機(jī)會還要等多久
我不想聽這個
我只是說…
那就別”只是說”,好嗎?
或許我該走了
好,我們待會兒見
你考慮看看
我不需要考慮
我演過雷崔克大夫
那是大角色
大機(jī)會還會出現(xiàn)的,你等著瞧
羅斯?
你走了嗎?
艾迪,你還在這里干什么?
只是隨便給一些蔬菜水果
做脫水處理(以便保存)
老天爺,這玩意兒太棒了
聽我說,艾迪你有沒有忘記什么事?
看,我買了一條新的金魚
它比上一條活潑多了
對,大概是因?yàn)?br /> 上一條是餅干公司做的吧
艾迪,你現(xiàn)在是不是有件事
必須要馬上去做的?
脫水嗎?
因?yàn)楝F(xiàn)在我是脫水瘋子
你必須要幫我忙
我以為我們講好了…
你知道那是什么嗎?
你上個室友的腎?
那是一顆蕃茄
這個一定要拿來當(dāng)擺飾
阿甘,一杯檸檬汁帶走
檸檬汁?
你沒事吧?
只是事業(yè)不太順利
不知道你聽到?jīng)]有
他們殺了我扮演的人物
真不幸,怎么殺的?
我掉下了電梯
真遜
我是雪崩的時候被活埋的
什么?
我以前演過”孩子們”的布萊
干嘛大家都要看我睡覺?
不準(zhǔn)再看我睡覺了
我不準(zhǔn)…
…別再看了
我有些好東西脫水哦
有葡萄,還有杏桃
還有我想看這些水球脫水后
會是什么德性,一定很酷
出去
出去
帶著水果,帶著你愚蠢的水果
給我搬出去
你要我搬出去?
我得告訴你,老兄
這有點(diǎn)突然,你不認(rèn)為嗎?
這不是突如其來
突如其來到極點(diǎn)了
輕松一點(diǎn),放輕松,兄弟
你不用告訴我兩次
會有人來拿我的東西
不過你以為我會讓我的魚跟你獨(dú)處,
那你就瘋了
要我?guī)兔?
不用
一直開到機(jī)場?
那超過了三十哩
我估計(jì)大概要”王元”哦
對不起,你說錯了,是五十元
五十…元
你知道為什么嗎?字糊了因?yàn)槭莻髡娴?br /> 當(dāng)我在演”我們的日子”演霍崔克大夫的時候…
…他們會送來用紙打印的整個劇本來
那太棒了
如果你想加長這場戲像是出了車禍之類的…
…我可以照顧傷患…
…因?yàn)槲矣嗅t(yī)療演出的背景
聽我說,謝謝你來
不…別謝謝我來
至少讓我演完
我們可以走高速公路…
…但這種時候,
我們還是走“轎”比較好一點(diǎn)
你們的意思是”橋”對不對?
祝我今天愉快
第28個問題
”你有沒有讓閃電使者取走過你的風(fēng)?”
我必須說,沒有
而我必須說…
什么?
你不記得那個演木偶戲的嗎?
對,你完全讓他在你內(nèi)在力量的池子里
大洗其腳呀
還有他的木偶
對,但至少不在我第一次約會
…就讓人家進(jìn)入我的正義真理的森林里啊
誰呀?保羅
繼續(xù),繼續(xù)下一個
好,第29題
”你曾經(jīng)為一個閃電使者…
…背叛過另一位女神嗎?”第30題
回到第29題
…不記得有
好吧,艾丹尼,九年級
少來,瑞秋你知道那瓶子完全指向我的
那是因?yàn)槟愕捏w積太龐大了
聽你們兩個說的真是悲哀
這下子看來我真該一個人去參加女神會議了
如果別人發(fā)現(xiàn)何杰森跟摩妮卡才分手了一個小時…
…你就跟他上床了呢?
一小時?
你可真會挑撥離間
小心那個立體的最后晚餐猶太有點(diǎn)松了
這怎么回事?
他們來拿東西回去我想你說得對
不,聽著,我說得不對
我就是來告訴你這個的
因?yàn)槟翘煳业男耐耆谖易约旱氖虑樯项^
你聽我說嘛,需要那個什么狗屁安全感的人是我
我需要完全掌握下次薪水
從哪兒來,你又不用擔(dān)心這個
我覺得你真了得
我永遠(yuǎn)都無法像你,喬伊
謝了,羅斯
對,你應(yīng)該等待更好的機(jī)會
你不知道我多么敬重…
…你不去那個計(jì)程車司機(jī)的試鏡
我去了
太棒了,結(jié)果呢?
我沒得到角色
你在實(shí)現(xiàn)夢想
好吧
別帶走鸚鵡
我看不下去了
等等…
這要多少…救那只鳥要多少錢?
1200美金?
你花1200美金買只塑膠鳥
那是一時沖動
它在收銀機(jī)附近
去吧,把鳥帶走吧
你有沒有大約兩百左右的?
那只狗
我買了
送給你,老兄
謝了,羅斯
我真的很喜歡那只鳥
不過這只狗…
你們的蛋糕
我們沒點(diǎn)蛋糕
我知道,是我請的
聽著,兩位,這樣不好
我是說被男人偷走我們的風(fēng)就夠慘了…
…何苦再自相殘殺呢?
你說得對
我愛你們,女神們
我再也不會吸走你們的風(fēng)了
謝謝,我們和好了?
和好了
和好了?
好,那我把蛋糕送回去
因?yàn)樗麄儠奈倚剿锟?br /> 那個瘋子走了
這次你確定?
對…我親眼看到他離開的
那家伙拿著一個人頭在窗口
他拿著一個人頭
你瞧,老兄
我在梅西百貨后面巷子的
模特兒身上摘下來的
梅西后面沒有巷子
所以我是在少女部摘的
有什么差別呢?
你瞧瞧,老兄,這樣我們
下次雞尾酒會就有得聊了
”下次的雞尾酒會”?
對呀,可以拿來放洋芋片
弄成一個洋芋片小妞兒
你記得昨天發(fā)生的事嗎?
我想我模模糊糊的記得
那么你還記得昨天你跟我說的話嗎?
發(fā)生了什么事?
我們跑去拉斯維加斯,老兄
天啊
那么這次的旅行你們有沒有贏錢呢?
沒有,我輸光了
但這位21點(diǎn)先生贏了
300塊,他買這雙新鞋給我
很棒吧?
樓上見了,再見
還有別人開始很喜歡他嗎?
需要我效勞嗎?
我的鑰匙為什么不能用了?
我的東西為什么都在樓下?
抱歉
我們有見過嗎?
我是艾迪,呆子,你的室友
對不起…
…我已經(jīng)有室友了
他住很多年了
我不知道你在說什么,老兄
他搬出去以后我才搬進(jìn)來的
如果是那樣的話
我們應(yīng)該記得才對
我知道我會
說得有道理

那我想我記錯房子了
兩位,對不起,對不起
沒關(guān)系
再見了
再會了,干燥水果的瘋子
喬伊,要我?guī)湍愦蜷_行李嗎?
不用了
我只是想讓你知道
我是不得已才搬回來的
是不得已沒錯…
但是在那個地方并不是真的…
我是說,這里…
歡迎回家,老兄
小試一下身手?
沒問題
這顆球怎么了?
那是顆哈蜜瓜
喬伊,每次羅斯來
我們都要把這玩意拖出來嗎?
他付了很多錢買這個
我要用不同的方式來抱它
你真的那么討厭這個
那當(dāng)初為何要買它呢?
我那邊有一整個陶磁動物園嘛
現(xiàn)在少了其他動物看起來就很俗了
它會控制大小便嗎?
還是會到處留下小磁器便便?
別動
別動
好(假)狗

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