The One With the Two Bullies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Everyone is there. Monica is watching stock prices on a business channel.]
JOEY: Hey Monica, why are we watchin' the business channel?
MONICA: 'Cause I was going by it the other day and I saw that there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it and, well, sometimes I have to watch for two or three hours before it comes up again but when it does, it's pretty exciting.
RACHEL: Ok honey, you really need a job.
ROSS: Mon, speaking of which, dad says he knows someone you can call for an interview.
MONICA: Really.
PHOEBE: Ok, right there. That, that's the third sign today. Right there.
ROSS: On behalf of everyone, I'd just like to say behuh.
PHOEBE: No, 'cause you just said dad and everywhere I go today I keep getting signs telling me to go see my father. Like when I was walking over here and I passed a buffet...which is my father's last name.
EVERYONE: Ahh.
PHOEBE: And they were serving franks which is his first name minus the s at the end. And there was a rotisserie with spinning chicken.
MONICA: His indian name?
PHOEBE: No because I chickened out the last time when I tried to meet him. So I mean coincidences? I don't think so.
ROSS: Freakish.
MONICA: Wow.
JOEY: Freaky.
MONICA: Weird, weird.
RACHEL: Ok, so uh, who wants the last hamburger?
PHOEBE: Oh, alright, that's it, now I have to go see him.
MONICA: Why?
PHOEBE: Hamburger. McDonald's. Old MacDonald had a farm, my dad is a pharmacist.
OPENING TITLES
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross enter in sweats carrying rackets.]
CHANDLER: Man, I am so beat.
ROSS: Oh yeah.
CHANDLER: Hey, you just wanna forget about raquetball and hang out here?
ROSS: Yeah alright.
[they sit at the couch]
BIG BULLY: [walks back from the counter] Hey you're in our seats.
ROSS: Oh, sorry we didn't know.
LITTLE BULLY: [walks back from the counter] Hey, we were sitting there.
CHANDLER: Ok, there is one more way to say it, who knows it?
LITTLE BULLY: Is that supposed to be funny?
CHANDLER: No actually, I was just going for colorful.
BIG BULLY: What's with this guy?
LITTLE BULLY: What's with you?
ROSS: Uh, nothing, nothing's with him. Enjoy your coffee.
[as they're walking off, little bully grabs Chandlers hat from behind and puts it on himself]
CHANDLER: What just happened?
LITTLE BULLY: I just took your hat. See, I can be funny too. My, my joke is that I, I took your hat.
CHANDLER: That, that is funny. Can I have it back?
LITTLE BULLY: No.
CHANDLER: No?
BIG BULLY: No.
ROSS: Ok, ok, you know what? I think you're very funny. Kudos on that hat joke. But, come on guy just, just give him back the hat.
BIG BULLY: Why should we?
ROSS: Because it's a special hat. [Chandler looks at Ross funny] See he bought it 'cause he was feeling really down one day so he got the hat to cheer himself up, ya know. Now Chandler...
CHANDLER: Stop talking, stop talking now. Let me just get this straight. You're actually stealing my hat?
BIG BULLY: You got a problem with that?
CHANDLER: No, just wanna make sure we're on the same page.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Rachel are sitting there and Monica walks in.]
RACHEL: Hey, how'd the interview go?
MONICA: It bit. It was a 50's theme restraunt. I have to cook in a costume and dance on the counter. I mean I was a chef at Cafe des Artistes. I mean how could I take a job where I have to make something called Laverne and Curly Fries?
RACHEL: So don't do it.
MONICA: How can I not do it? I have $127 in the bank.
JOEY: Monica, relax, go get a beer.
MONICA: I don't want a beer.
JOEY: Who said it was for you?
ROSS and CHANDLER: [both enter looking down] Hhhiiii.
RACHEL: What's the matter with you?
CHANDLER: The mean guys at the coffee house took my hat.
RACHEL: Noo.
JOEY: You're kiddin'.
ROSS: It was ridiculous. Ya know, these guys, they were bullies, actual bullies, ya know. We're grown ups, this kinda stuff isn't supposed to happen anymore.
RACHEL: Oohhh.
ROSS: Hi.
RACHEL: Hi. [Ross turns to Rachel and they hug]
CHANDLER: Ohhh [turns as if to hug someone] Oh no, wait a minute, I have no one.
JOEY: Hey, woah, let's go down there and get your hat back.
CHANDLER: Na, forget it, it's probably stripped and sold for parts by now.
MONICA: [seeing TV] Hey, I went up.
RACHEL: What?
MONICA: My stock, MEG, it went up 2 points. Hey guys, do you realize that if I had invested my $127 in myself yesterday that I'd like have...a lot more than that today. Ya know what, I'm gonna do it.
JOEY: Do what?
MONICA: Put all my money in me.
RACHEL: Monica, what are you talking about? You don't know the first thing about the stock market.
MONICA: What's to know? Buy sell, high low, bears bulls...[on the phone] Yes Manhattan...yeah telephone number of the stock...selling store.
[Scene: Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe pulls up in the cab with Rachel and Joey in the back.]
[Phoebe slams on the breaks. Joey and Rachel are thrown forward into the pillows in their laps.]
JOEY: See, didn't I tell ya these pillows would be a good idea?
PHOEBE: Oh God, here we go. For the first time in my life I'm gonna say 'Hi birthfather'.
RACHEL: We love you, we're here for you.
JOEY: Yeah good luck, good luck.
PHOEBE: Thanks. [gets out of the cab]
JOEY: Hey Rach, you uh, you want some sandwich?
RACHEL: Ohh, what is in that?
JOEY: Olive loaf and ham spread, no mayo.
RACHEL: No no, 'cause mayo, that would make it gross.
PHOEBE: [a little dog starts attacking her leg] Hey, hey, no, oh oh.
RACHEL: Run Phoebe run.
PHOEBE: No no no, doggie please. Oh, I do so wanna love all animals, please no.
JOEY: Get him a bone, get a bone. You gotta bone?
RACHEL: Are you kidding me?
PHOEBE: Look kibbles, bits. Oh God, alright, get the hell off my leg you yippity piece of crap. [Flings the dog off and jumps in the cab. The dog keeps jumping up to the window.] Ok, alright, we have a problem.
JOEY: Well why don't you just reach out and take his trampoline.
RACHEL: Ok, here, I know what we can do. [grabs Joey's sadwich and throws it out the window]
JOEY: Hey, hey, hey no.
RACHEL: Ok, doggie get the- aahhh. Ok go get the sandwich, get the sandwich doggie. [dog ignores the sandwich] Good doggie get the sandwich, get the...ok, Joey, the dog will lick himself but he will not touch your sandwich, what does that say?
JOEY: Well if he's not gonna eat it, I will.
PHOEBE: Are you crazy?
JOEY: Phoebs, he's just a little dog. [turns back to the car window and the dog is halfway through it.] Ahhh.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting at the couch.]
CHANDLER: Hey.
ROSS: What?
CHANDLER: Do you have to be a Century 21 real-estate agent to get to wear those really cool jackets?
ROSS: Do you say this stuff to girls?
BIG BULLY: Hehehehey, isn't that the guy who used to wear your hat?
LITTLE BULLY: And look where they're sitting.
ROSS: You're joking, right? You guys just walked through the door.
BIG BULLY: Maybe we didn't make it clear enough.
LITTLE BULLY: Yeah.
BIG BULLY: This couch belongs to us.
CHANDLER: Alright, I'll tell you what, you call the couch and then, and then we'll call the couch, and we'll see who it comes to.
BIG BULLY: You know what I keep wondering? Why you two are still sitting here.
ROSS: Alright, that's it. I've had enough of this, alright. Gunther, these guys are trying to take our seat.
GUNTHER: Fellas, these guys were here first.
BIG BULLY: Oh, sorry, I didn't realize.
LITTLE BULLY: Sorry.
GUNTHER: There you go.
ROSS: Thank you Gunther. We didn't want to have to go and do that.
LITTLE BULLY: He told on us?
BIG BULLY: You told on us?
ROSS: Well pal, you didn't give me much of a choice. [flicks the ends of the big bully's tie]
CHANDLER: Don't play with his things.
ROSS: I know.
BIG BULLY: Alright, let's take this outside.
ROSS: Let's, let's take this outside? Who talks like that?
BIG BULLY: The guy that's about to kick your ass talks like that.
CHANDLER: You had to ask.
ROSS: Yeah.
[the bullies grab the back of the couch that Ross and Chandler are sitting in and tip back]
ROSS: Ok, ok look, see, the thing is we're, we're not gonna fight you guys.
LITTLE BULLY: Well then here's the deal, you won't have to so long as never ever show your faces in this coffee house ever again.
CHANDLER: I think you played the Gunther card too soon.
[Scene: Back in the cab in front of Phoebe's dad's house.]
JOEY: Hey Phoeb's, I think you're good to go.
PHOEBE: Yeah, I don't know.
RACHEL: What's the matter?
PHOEBE: I just think that this was a really bad sign, ya know. I mean, like the beast at the threshold, you know. It's just like, I have no family left, ya know. I mean except for my grandmother, you know, but let's face it, she's not gonna be around forever, despite what she says. And I have a sister who I've barely spoken to since we like shared a womb. I don't know, this is my real father and I just, I want things to be like just right.
RACHEL: Yeah Phoebe, I completely understand.
JOEY: Yeah, whatever you need. Hey, you wanna go home?
PHOEBE: Ok, thanks. Sorry, again
[She starts the cab and pulls forward. We hear a squish and a dog yelp.]
PHOEBE: [innocently] What was that?
JOEY: Uhh, I'm guessing the threshold's clear now.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey is eating breakfast, Rachel has just gotten up, and Monica is on the phone.]
MONICA: I wanna buy 5 shares of SGJ and I wanna buy them now. C'mon time is money my friend. Thank you. Wooo.
RACHEL: Time is money my friend?
JOEY: Yeah, you missed, 'Takes money to make money,' and uh, 'Don't make me come down there and kick your wall street butt.'
MONICA: Hey, I made $17 before breakfast, what have you done?
JOEY: Well uh, I had breakfast here so technically I saved $3.50.
RACHEL: How did you make $17.
MONICA: Well, my financially challenged friends, I split my money and I bought some shares of CHP and ZXY.
JOEY: How come those?
MONICA: Well, CHP because I used to have a crush on Eric Estrada. And ZXY becuase I think it sounds zexy.
RACHEL: What happened to uh, MEG.?
MONICA: MEG was good for me but I dumped her. Ya know, my motto is get out before they go down.
JOEY: That is so not my motto.
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey.
RACHEL: Hey Phoebs. Oh hey, how's the dog?
PHOEBE: Ok, I talked to the vet, people are so nice upstate. Anyway, he said that the little fella's gonna be ok and I can pick him up tomorrow.
JOEY: Good.
RACHEL: Oh, thank God.
PHOEBE: Yeah, but he did have to have a bunch of stitches and he said that only once in a blue moon does a dog's ear grow back so...still hoping.
RACHEL: Ok, so Phoebe, now are you gonna call your dad and let him know that his dog is ok?
PHOEBE: I, I don't wanna meet my father over the phone. What am I gonna say, like 'Hi, I'm Phoebe, the daughter you abandoned. Oh, by the way, I broke your dog.'
JOEY: Hey Phoebs, if you want, I'll do it.
PHOEBE: Ok. Listen, just don't say anything about me, ok. [goes over and grabs the phone that's sitting by Monica]
MONICA: DON'T...be too long with the phone.
RACHEL: She'll be a much better friend when the market closes.
JOEY: [dials the phone] It's a woman.
PHOEBE: So talk to her.
JOEY: [in a fake voice] Uhh, hello Miss Buffay. I know where your dog is. I want you to know that he'll be returned to you, almost as good as new, within, within 24 hours. Uh, goodbye. [hangs up]
RACHEL: Why the voice.
JOEY: [in the voice] Hard to say.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is sitting at the bar, Chandler serves up two mugs of hot water.]
CHANDLER: Your cappucino sir.
ROSS: Thank you.
[they both pour in packets of cappucino mix]
CHANDLER: Ya know I think this is much better than the coffee house.
ROSS: Absolutely.
[they both stir thier coffee and proceed to stare into the mugs]
ROSS: How come it's not mixing with the water?
CHANDLER:Well the package says you have to uh, constantly keep it moving. Stir and drink, stir and drink, never let it settle.
[they both try to drink while continuously stirring]
JOEY: [walks out of his room] Hey, this is ridiculous. I'll tell you what. After I get back from my neice's christening, I'll go down to the coffee house with you and we'll all have a nice cup of coffee alright. No problem, Joey's there.
CHANDLER: Ok.
ROSS: No.
CHANDLER: No?
ROSS: No. Man I don't wanna have to have Joey with me every time I wanna descent cup of coffee. Ya know, and I don't wanna spend the rest of my life drinking cappucino with a 'K'. I say you and I go back down there and stand up to those guys.
CHANDLER: Alright, hang on a second there Custer.
JOEY: Yeah really, Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?
ROSS: Yeah, sure.
JOEY: By someone besides Monica?
ROSS: No. So what. So what if we get beaten up, maybe that's just something every man has to go through once in his life. Ya know, like a, like a right of passage or somethin'.
CHANDLER: Well, couldn't we just lose our virginities again? Ya know, because I think actually mine's growing back.
[Scene: Outside Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is returning.]
MONICA: [Opens the door] I need to borrow a hundred bucks.
RACHEL: What?
MONICA: Hi, welcome home. [pulls Rachel inside] I need to borrow a hundred bucks.
RACHEL: For what?
MONICA: I've gotta get back in the game.
RACHEL: Why, when did you get out of the game?
MONICA: I don't know, I lost it all ok. I lost it.
RACHEL: Oh no.
MONICA: Hey, I've come to terms with it, you have to too.
RACHEL: Ok. Look uhh, Mon I'm, I'm really sorry.
MONICA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, where are we on the hundred bucks?
RACHEL: I, I don't have it.
MONICA: But I need it. Otherwords I'm gonna have to take that horrible diner job. You know, with the dancing and the costumes. I don't wanna have to wear flame retardant boobs.
RACHEL: Nobody does honey.
[Scene: Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe is returning the dog who is bandaged up and has a plastic cone around it's neck.]
PHOEBE: Hi.
MRS BUFFAY: Schnoodle. Oh my God, what the hell happened to my dog?
PHOEBE: It was an accident, and, and the woman who did this would never ever hurt a dog on purpose. She's a vegetarian.
MRS BUFFAY: What are these, stitches?
PHOEBE: Yeah, eight of them. That's 56 to him. You know also, if, if it's raining, you can't let him look up too long 'cause that cone'll fill up really really fast.
MRS BUFFAY: Yeah well, thanks for bringing back what's left of him.
PHOEBE: Sure, oh, is, is Frank home.
MRS BUFFAY: How do you know Frank?
PHOEBE: Just from a, from a long time ago. Is he here?
MRS BUFFAY: Yeah. Frank.
FRANK: Yeah. What? [a young guy comes around the corner]
PHOEBE: Oh, ok, um, I mean Frank senior.
MRS BUFFAY: He went out for groceries.
PHOEBE: Ok so will he be back soon?
MRS BUFFAY: Well he left four years ago so we're expecting him back any minute now.
PHOEBE: Alright, I'm, I'm gonna go. I'm sorry about the dog, everything. I'm sorry.
[she turns to leave, Frank follows]
FRANK: Hey lady. Hey wait up. How do you know my dad?
PHOEBE: Um well I don't really. Just genetically. He's kinda my dad too.
FRANK: Heavy.
PHOEBE: Yeah. So um, did he ever talk about me, Phoebe?
FRANK: No but he didn't really talk about anything.
PHOEBE: Oh.
FRANK: Except stilts.
PHOEBE: Stilts?
FRANK: Yeah, he loved stilts. One time I was upstairs, I was stealing cigarettes out of my mom's purse, and uh, all of a sudden I look over and there's my dad's head bobbing past the window. He just had this big smile on his face and he was waving 'cause he was always happiest when he was on his stilts.
PHOEBE: Wow.
FRANK: Yeah.
PHOEBE: I don't know what to do with that.
FRANK: Me neither. So you're like my big sister.
PHOEBE: Yeah.
FRANK: This is huge, you can buy me beer.
PHOEBE: I'm not gonna. But you know what's cool though? Ok, if you had a friend named Pete, then I could say, 'Oh yeah, I know Pete, he's friends with my brother.'
FRANK: I gotta friend named Mark.
PHOEBE: That'll work too.
FRANK: Cool, alright. So maybe, ya know, I could give you a call sometime, we could talk or somethin'.
PHOEBE: Yeah, that'd be ok.
FRANK: Alright.
PHOEBE: Ok, I'm in the book.
FRANK: Ok, yeah.
PHOEBE: Alright. So um, stilts huh?
FRANK: Yeah hey, you know if you want I can take you around back and show you where he hit his head on the rain gutter.
PHOEBE: Ok.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting on the couch nervously.]
ROSS: Well we did it, we're here. We are standing our ground. How long does a cup of coffee take?
CHANDLER: Would you come on! Come on! [waitress brings their coffee] Thank you.
[They rush to put the cream and sugar in their cups and gulp down a few drinks]
CHANDLER: Ah, there we go.
ROSS: I think we proved our point.
CHANDLER: You burn your mouth?
ROSS: Cannot feel my tounge.
[They leave. As they're walking out, the bullies are walking in.]
CHANDLER: Bullies, big bullies.
LITTLE BULLY: Oh, look who's here, it's the weenies.
BIG BULLY: Did we not make ourselves clear the other day.
ROSS: Yes, and that's why we're here.
CHANDLER: Yes, we're standing out ground...apparently.
LITTLE BULLY: Let's do this alright.
ROSS: Woah, ho-ho, whad'ya got there, a weapon?
LITTLE BULLY: It's a nice watch, I don't wanna break it on your ribs.
CHANDLER: Alright, let's do this.
LITTLE BULLY: Alright.
[they all put up their fists and prepare to fight]
CHANDLER: Question. If I don't care about my watch, can I use it as a weapon?
ROSS: Whad'ya mean?
CHANDLER: Well, it's sharp, it's metal, I think I can do some, you know, serious damage with it.
BIG BULLY: No, you can't use your watch.
CHANDLER: Ok. [reaches in his pocket]
BIG BULLY: Or your keys.
CHANDLER: Ok.
LITTLE BULLY: Look, here's what we'll do. We'll put all keys and watches in the hat over there. Alright. [they all put their keys and watches in the hat and put it on a mail box] Alright, c'mon man, let's do this.
[they all jump in the street and prepare to fight]
ROSS: Before I forget, are we hitting faces?
BIG BULLY: Of course we're hitting faces, why wouldn't you hit faces?
ROSS: Well because I have to work on Monday, I have a big presentation.
LITTLE BULLY: Actually, you know, uh, I gotta show this apartment tomorrow and uh, you know, this no faces thing might not be a bad idea.
BIG BULLY: Ok, nothing from the neck up. [everyone gets ready for the fight] Or the waist down. Dana's ovulating.
LITTLE BULLY: Oh really, you guys tryin' again?
BIG BULLY: Yeah.
CHANDLER: Ok, so let me just get this straight. So we're uh, strictly talking about the middle?
BIG BULLY: C'MON!
ROSS: Hey, hey, woah, you want some of this, huh? You want a piece of this, huh? I'm standin here, huh.
CHANDLER: Hey, hey, those guys are takin our stuff! [some guy runs off with the hat]
ROSS: Hey.
BIG BULLY: Hey.
[they all run off after the guy]
[Scene: Central Perk. The four guys are returning after getting the hat back.]
ROSS: God, that was, that was amazing, that was incredible. You guys, you guys kicked butt.
LITTLE BULLY: Us, what about you guys? Man you really, bing, gave it to old Mr. Clean back there. He was a big guy.
ROSS: Yeah he was wasn't he.
CHANDLER: Yeah, I wouldn't know having missed everything.
BIG BULLY: Don't do that to yourself. Any one of us could have tripped over that little girls jump-rope.
ROSS: So, listen guys, are we uh, are we ok here?
LITTLE BULLY: We're ok.
ROSS: Alright.
CHANDLER: Ok so, can I have my hat back?
LITTLE BULLY: No.
CHANDLER: Huh. [reaches over and grabs the hat and bolts for the door but slips and falls behind the couch]
CLOSING CREDITS
[Scene: The 50's theme cafe. Monica is working the grill, the rest are at a table.]
RACHEL: Look at her.
CHANDLER: Hi Monica.
JOEY: He-he-he, how's it goin'?
PHOEBE: Hey nice boobs.
CHANDLER: Guys guys, check this out.
[Chandler puts a coin in the mini jukebox at the table. YMCA starts playing and Monica and the rest of the staff have to get on the counter and start singing along and dancing. After a couple of couruses, Chandler pulls out a handful of coins and drops them on the table.]
JOEY: Excellent.
END
嗨 Monica, 為什么我們在看財(cái)經(jīng)頻道?
因?yàn)槟翘煳覠o意中看到發(fā)現(xiàn)
有個(gè)股票上面有我的名字字首,MEG,
嗯,有時(shí)我要等2,3個(gè)小時(shí)才能看到它再次出現(xiàn),
但是,當(dāng)它出來的時(shí)候,還是很爽的
Ok 親愛的,你真的得找份工作了
Mon(Monica的昵稱,下同) 說起這個(gè),
老爸說他認(rèn)識個(gè)人,你要是想面試可以打給他
真的?
Ok,就這個(gè)
這是今天第三個(gè)征兆了。就這個(gè)
為了大家,我得問一句,怎么了?
不是。因?yàn)槟銊偛耪f了爸爸
而且今天我不論我去哪里,
我都不停的得到應(yīng)該去見我爸爸的征兆
就好像當(dāng)我過來這里的時(shí)候,
我經(jīng)過一個(gè)自助餐廳(buffet)...
那(Buffet)是我父親的姓
啊哈
他們當(dāng)時(shí)正在上法蘭克福香腸(franks),
在結(jié)尾去掉s(Frank)那是他(我父親)的名
沒錯(cuò)!!
而且那有個(gè)烤肉架上有個(gè)轉(zhuǎn)著烤的雞
他的印度名字?
不,因?yàn)槲疑洗我驗(yàn)楹ε聸]有去見他
(chicken out,跟雞chicken同)
這些都是巧合嗎?我可不那么認(rèn)為
古怪 / - 哇歐
很奇怪。 / 不可思議,不可思議
Ok,誰想要最后一個(gè)漢堡?
哦,到此為止,現(xiàn)在我必須去見他
為什么?
漢堡。麥當(dāng)勞
老MacDonald(麥當(dāng)勞擁有者)有個(gè)農(nóng)場
我父親是個(gè)藥劑師。(音同農(nóng)場)
2個(gè)恃強(qiáng)凌弱的人
噢,我太累了
是呀
- 嗨,你覺著干脆不打墻球了,
呆在這里怎么樣?
嗯,好吧
嗨,你們坐了我們的位子
噢,不好意思,我們不知道
嗨,我們剛才坐在這里的
Ok,還有另一個(gè)說法,
天知道?
你這話應(yīng)該是很風(fēng)趣的嗎?
不,實(shí)際上我只是想換個(gè)說法
這家伙怎么回事?
你怎么回事?
恩,沒什么,他沒怎么
享受你們的咖啡吧
剛才怎么回事?
我只是拿了你的帽子。瞧,我也可以變得風(fēng)趣
我的笑話就是,我拿了你的帽子
那,那很有趣
我能拿回來嗎?
不行
不行?
不
好吧,好吧,這么招吧,
我認(rèn)為你很風(fēng)趣
那個(gè)帽子笑話很不錯(cuò)
但是,別介哥們,
把帽子還給他吧
為什么我們應(yīng)該(還給他)?
因?yàn)檫@是一個(gè)很特別的帽子
他買這頂帽子因?yàn)槟翘焖榫w很低落,
所以他才買了這帽子來讓自己高興一點(diǎn)
你知道,現(xiàn)在Chandler...
別說了,起碼現(xiàn)在別說了
我直說了吧,你實(shí)際上偷了我的帽子?
怎么?有問題嗎?
沒有,只是確認(rèn)一下我們當(dāng)成共識
Hey,面試怎么樣?
糟透了
那是個(gè)50年代主題餐館。我不得不穿著戲服做飯
并且在柜臺上跳舞
我以前是“Cafe des Artistes”的廚師
我怎么能在一個(gè)叫 Laverne and Curly 快餐店
的地方做東西?
那就別干
我怎么能不干?我只有$127存款了
Monica,放輕松,
去拿個(gè)啤酒
我不想喝啤酒
誰說是給你的?
嗨~
你們又怎么了?
有衰人在咖啡廳拿了我的帽子
不會吧
開玩笑吧
這太荒謬了。那兩人,他們就是那種
吃軟怕硬的,你知道,就那種欺負(fù)老實(shí)人的。
我們都是成人了。這種事情不應(yīng)該再發(fā)生了
噢。Hi。/ - Hi
噢~,不對,等等,我身邊一個(gè)也沒有
嗨,我們下去把你的帽子拿回來
吶,算了吧,很可能都已經(jīng)剝開了分塊賣了
嗨,我上去了
什么?
我的股票,MEG,,它升了2點(diǎn)
嗨,你們意識到如果昨天我把我的
127美元投資到我(股票MEG)身上,
現(xiàn)在就我就有...
比現(xiàn)在多得多的錢了
你們猜怎么著,我要干這個(gè)
干什么?
把錢投到我(股票MEG)上
Monica,迷糊了?
你對股票市場一無所知
有什么難的?買呀賣的,
高呀低的,貓呀狗的...
喂,Manhattan(曼哈頓)...
對,我要股票...交易所的
電話號碼
瞧,我告訴你帶些枕頭
是個(gè)好主意了吧
哦,老天。我們到了
這是我有生以來第一次要說
“Hi,生父”
我們愛你,我們支持你
Yeah 祝你好運(yùn)
謝了
嗨,Rach,你呃,
你想來點(diǎn)三明治嗎?
噢,那里面都有些什么?
橄欖油面包跟火腿腸
沒有蛋黃醬
不,因?yàn)榈包S醬
會弄得它很惡心的
嗨,嗨,別,噢,噢
跑,Phoebe快跑
別,小狗狗,別這樣。噢
我熱愛所有動物的,別這樣
給它塊骨頭,扔塊骨頭
你有骨頭嗎?
開什么玩笑?
別咬了
噢,老天。好吧,
從我腿上滾開,你這個(gè)混帳東西
Ok,好吧,我們有麻煩了
你問什么不伸出手去
把它的蹦床拿走
好,這樣,我知道怎么做了
嗨,嗨,嗨,不
Ok,狗狗,去吃-啊~
OK,去吃那塊三明治
狗狗,吃吧。乖狗狗,
吃那三明治,吃...OK,
Joey,那狗肯舔自己,卻不碰你的
三明治,這說明什么?
哼,如果它要是不吃的話,
我還吃呢
你瘋了?
Phoebs,那只是一只小狗。啊~
Hey.
怎么了?
是不是要成為一個(gè)21世紀(jì)不動產(chǎn)代理商
才能穿那些很酷的夾克?
你就跟女孩們說這些?
嗨嗨嗨,這不是那個(gè)以前
戴你帽子的家伙嗎?
看他們坐在哪兒呢?
你開玩笑呢吧?你們剛剛才進(jìn)門
也許我們沒跟他們說清楚
是呀
這沙發(fā)屬于我們
好吧,這么找吧
你們叫這沙發(fā),然后我們叫它,
看它會走向誰?
你們知道我想什么呢嗎?
問什么你們倆還坐在這?
夠了
我受夠了這樣了,知道嗎?Gunther,
這些家伙想搶我們的座位
哥們兒,他們先來的
Oh,不好意思,沒注意到
不好意思
行了吧
謝了,Gunther.
我們不是一定要這樣才行的
他告我們的狀?
你告我們的狀?
嗯,伙計(jì),你們沒給我別的選擇
別玩他的東西
我知道
好吧,我們到外面談?wù)劙?br />
我們,我們到外面談?wù)劊?br />
誰這么說話?
馬上就要痛宰你的人這么說話
是你問的
對
Ok, ok, 知道嗎,
我們并不打算跟你們打架
好,那有個(gè)條件
只要你們永遠(yuǎn)不再出現(xiàn)在這個(gè)咖啡店,
你們就不用(跟我們打架)
我認(rèn)為你用Gunther用得太早了
Hey Phoeb's,我想你現(xiàn)在能去了
我不知道
怎么了?
我只是覺著這是一個(gè)很壞的征兆
我是說像一開始就是野獸。知道吧
就好像,我沒有別的親人了,
除了我祖母
但是,面對現(xiàn)實(shí),她不可能
一直都在
除了她自己不這么認(rèn)為
我還有個(gè)妹妹,自從我們住在一個(gè)子宮以后,
我就基本不和她說話了
我不肯定。這是我的真正的父親
我只想讓事情發(fā)展的順利
Yeah Phoebe, 我完全理解
Yeah, 你想怎么樣都好
Hey, 你想回家嗎?
好吧,多謝了
再一次,對不起呀
那是什么?
嗯...我想開始的路已經(jīng)清靜了
我要買5股SGJ,我要現(xiàn)在就買
快點(diǎn)兄弟,時(shí)間就是金錢
多謝,喔~
時(shí)間就是金錢,兄弟?
是呀,你錯(cuò)過了“錢能生錢”,還有,嗯
“被逼我過去痛宰你們這些華爾街的家伙”
Hey,我在早餐之前賺了$17,
你呢?
嗯,我在這里吃的早餐,
所以從技術(shù)角度講,我省了3塊5
你怎么賺得$17?
嗯,我的金融上的
很有競爭力的伙伴們
我用我的錢分別買了一些
CHP和ZXY
為什么買這些?
嗯,CHP是因?yàn)槲乙郧昂芟矚gEric Estrada
(這個(gè)人在電視劇CHiPS里扮演一個(gè)很受歡迎的角色Ponch)
ZXY是因?yàn)槲艺J(rèn)為它聽起來是zexy
(跟sexy--性感,讀音接近)
那,呃,MEG怎么了?
MEG不錯(cuò)但是我甩了她
你知道,我的座右銘是
在躺下(下跌)之前滾開
這絕對不是我的座右銘
嗨
Hey Phoebs. 哦,那狗怎么樣了?
Ok,我跟獸醫(yī)談了,北邊的人
真是很友善
不談那個(gè)。他說小家伙會沒事的,
我可以明天去接它
好極了
噢,多謝老天爺
是呀,不過它不得不要縫N多針,
而且他說,只有太陽從西邊出來
狗的耳朵才有可能重新長出來...
仍然是期望中
Ok, Phoebe,現(xiàn)在你會打電話給你的父親
讓他知道他的狗沒事了吧?
我,我不想跟我爸爸在電話上見,
我說什么呀?
好像,“Hi, 我是Phoebe,你丟棄的女兒,
噢,順便說一句,我弄傷了你的狗。”
Hey Phoebs, 如果你想,我可以打
好吧
聽著,別說任何關(guān)于我的事情
別...
用電話時(shí)間太長
她會是個(gè)更好的朋友,
在股票市場關(guān)了后
是個(gè)女人
跟她說話
(低沉,像黑幫講話)
嗯,你好Buffay小姐,
我知道你的狗在哪里?
我就是想讓你知道,它會在24小時(shí)內(nèi)
幾乎跟新的一樣還給你
恩,再見
為什么是那樣的聲音?
不好說
先生,你的cappucino(有很多沫的咖啡)
謝謝
你知道嗎,我覺著這里比咖啡店好多了
絕對呀
它怎么不跟水溶在一起?
嗯,包裝上說,你要不停的攪動它
邊攪邊喝,邊攪邊喝,別讓它停下來
嗨,這太荒謬了。這樣,
等我從我侄女的洗禮回來后,
我跟你們一起到咖啡店
我們一起享受一杯好咖啡
沒問題的,有Joey呢
好耶
不行
不行?
不,我不想以后每次我想來杯好咖啡
都要有Joey陪著我
我不想在我的后半生都喝"K"開頭的cappucino
(拼寫錯(cuò)誤形容質(zhì)量低下)
我說你和我下去,
勇敢的跟那些家伙抗?fàn)?br />
哈,等等,猛人
說真的Ross,你以前被痛打過嗎?
當(dāng)然
被除了Monica以外的人?
沒有
那又怎么了。被痛打又怎么了?`
也許那是每個(gè)男人一生中都要經(jīng)歷的事情,
就像通過的象征之類的東西
恩,我們能不能只是再次失去我們的貞操?
知道嗎,因?yàn)槲矣X著我的實(shí)際上
又長回來了
我要借100塊
什么?
Hi,歡迎回家
我要借一百塊
為什么?
我要重新回到游戲之中
為什么?你什么時(shí)候退出游戲的?
不知道。我全賠了,全賠了
噢,不
嗨,我已經(jīng)跟他們達(dá)成協(xié)議了,
你也要
這個(gè)...
瞧,呃,Mon,我,我很抱歉
好吧好吧,我們的一百塊呢?
我,我沒有一百塊
但是我要它
要不然我就不得不去做那份
很濫的餐館工作了
你知道,就是跳舞加上戲服
我不想戴阻燃劑做的假胸
沒人想,親愛的
Hi.
Schnoodle。老天呀,我的狗TMD怎么了?
是個(gè)意外。干了這個(gè)的那個(gè)女人絕對
不是成心的
她是個(gè)素食者
這些是什么?縫針?
是的,那是8針,總共它身上縫了56針
另外,如果下雨,你不能讓它向上看
太久,因?yàn)槟莻€(gè)圓錐形護(hù)脖很快就會滿的
嗯,多謝把它剩下的這些部分帶了回來
沒問題。呃,F(xiàn)rank在家嗎?
你怎么會認(rèn)識Frank?
那是,那是很久以前了。他在嗎?
在
Frank
哎
怎么了?
噢,OK,恩,我是指老Frank
他出去買吃的去了
那他會很快回來嗎?
嗯他是四年前離開的,所以
我們估計(jì)他很快就能回來了
好吧,我,我得走了。對不起,因?yàn)槟枪罚?br />
還有所有的事。對不起
嗨女士,嗨,等等
你怎么認(rèn)識我爸?
嗯,其實(shí)我不認(rèn)識,只是從基因角度講,
他也是我爸爸
有分量
是呀
嗯,他說起過我嗎, Phoebe?
沒有,但是實(shí)際上他什么都不說的
噢
除了高蹺
高蹺?
是,他喜歡踩高蹺
有一次我在樓上,從我媽的包里面偷煙,
然后
忽然間我向外看,我爸的腦袋正
平移過窗口
在他臉上有很開心的微笑,
他還向我揮手
- 因?yàn)楫?dāng)他踩在他的高蹺上的時(shí)候,
他總是很高興
哇喔。 / - 是呀
我不知道怎么玩那東西
我也不知道
你就是我的姐姐
沒錯(cuò)
那太好了,你可以給我買啤酒
(21歲以下禁止買酒)
我不會的
但是你知道什么事情酷嗎?
如果你有個(gè)叫Pete的朋友,我就可以說
“噢,我認(rèn)識Pete,他是我弟弟的朋友。”
我有叫Mark的朋友
那也行
Cool,好
也許,你知道,我能什么時(shí)候給你打個(gè)電話,
我們可以聊聊什么的
沒問題,那沒問題
好
Ok,我在電話簿里
Ok,對。 / - 好
呃,高蹺是吧?
對。嗨如果你愿意,我可以帶你到后面,
看看他在哪里把他的腦袋撞到排水槽上的
好呀
恩,我們做到了。我們來到這里,
挺立在我們的領(lǐng)地上
弄杯咖啡花這么長時(shí)間?
你能不能快點(diǎn),快點(diǎn)
謝謝
啊,我們做到了
我想我們已經(jīng)證明了我們的能力
你燙到嘴了?
已經(jīng)感覺不到舌頭了
欺負(fù)人的那伙人
哦,瞧瞧誰在這兒,是小不點(diǎn)們
我們那天沒說清楚嗎?
說清楚了,那也是為什么我們來了
對,我們挺立在我們的領(lǐng)地上...
顯然地
來吧
哇喔喔,你有什么?一個(gè)武器?
這是塊好表。我不愿意打碎在
你的肋骨上
好吧,我們開始
來吧
問題,如果我不在乎我的手表,
我能用它作為武器嗎?
你什么意思?
嗯,它很尖銳,是金屬的。我想我能,
嗯,用它弄出些嚴(yán)重的傷害
不。你不能用你的表
好吧
或者是你的鑰匙
好
這么找,我們把所有的表,鑰匙放在這個(gè)
帽子里,把帽子放到那邊
好嘞,哥們,來吧
在我忘了之前問一句,我們打臉嗎?
當(dāng)然打臉?為什么不打臉?
因?yàn)槲抑芤灰习?。我有個(gè)很重要的
現(xiàn)場演說
實(shí)際上,恩,我明天要展示那個(gè)公寓,
所以,恩,這個(gè)不打臉的事不是個(gè)壞主意
Ok,不打脖子以上的
或者是腰以下的
Dana正在排卵期
哦,真的?你們又在試了?
是呀
Ok,讓我直說吧,我們就是
指中間這部分?
來呀!
嗨,嗨,哇喔,你想來點(diǎn)這個(gè),恩?
想來點(diǎn)這個(gè),恩?我站著這兒呢
嗨嗨,那些家伙那我們的東西
嗨
老天,剛才真是,真是太爽了,
太不可思議了,你們,你們可真猛
我們,那你們的?哥們,你真是,砰,
給了那家伙一下。那可是個(gè)大家伙
對,他是很大塊,不是嗎?
是呀,我真不該錯(cuò)過了所有的
別這么說自己,我們每個(gè)人都可能
被那小女孩的跳繩絆倒的
恩,哥們兒,
我們,我們這就沒問題了吧?
我們沒問題了
好
Ok,我能要回我的帽子嗎?
不行
呃?
瞧瞧她
Hi Monica.
嘿嘿嘿,怎么樣?
嗨,胸不錯(cuò)
大家大家,看這個(gè)
棒極了