Have you ever thought you were being utterly clear in your communication with someone - and yet somehow they still managed to misunderstand, get the wrong message or completely miss your point?
或者你不遺余力的與人為善,可他們卻毫不領(lǐng)情,不去感激你呢?
Or have you ever gone out of your way to do something nice for someone but they just didn't seem that appreciative or thankful?
可能造成這些的原因是什么呢?你只是沒有用適合的語言表達(dá)!
The likely cause? You're just not speaking the same language!
我在用什么語言與他人交流呢?加里查普曼把它們稱為“五種愛的語言”,它們對于人際關(guān)系是至關(guān)重要的。這些語言十分簡單,這五種不同的語言是:珍惜、肯定的語句、禮物、服務(wù)、肢體接觸。
What languages am I talking about? Gary Chapman calls them the "Five Languages of Love", and while these are indeed important to your personal relationship, these languages simply put, the five different languages are:
Quality Time
Words of Affirmation
Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
珍惜:如果你的朋友或親戚真的在意你,他們就不會因為聲稱太忙、怕打擾你或為你制造麻煩而不來拜訪你。
When your language is Quality Time: A friend or relative not being able to stop by and see you because they say they're too busy, upsets you and makes you question whether they really do care for you.
肯定的語句:你老板對于你工作的表揚、鼓勵或激勵的語句比任何事物都更能讓你對自己的工作感到滿意;這與你想要獲得升職或其他事物是不同的(雖然升職是不錯的)。
When your language is Words of Affirmation: All you need to feel more appreciated at work are a few words of praise, encouragement or motivation from your boss; it's not like you're looking for a raise or anything (although that would be nice).
禮物:你堅信出席社交聚會,贈送禮物來表達(dá)你的感謝是十分重要的;如果他人參加你舉行的聚會卻不回禮,你會覺得有一點點不禮貌。
When your language is Gifts: You believe it's important to send a gift to show your thanks for attending a function; and when others don't reciprocate having attended one of yours, you feel it's a little rude.
服務(wù):你希望你的搭檔能多幫助你一點——即使只是不時的給你一杯茶,因為這表示他們關(guān)心你。這與你要求他們打掃這個房子或做其他事是不同的。
When your language is Acts of Service: You wish your partner would help out a little more - even by just making you a cup of tea every now and then, because it just means they care. It's not like you're asking them to clean the whole house or anything.
肢體接觸:你熱情地?fù)肀耍l繁的觸碰他們的手臂或膝蓋讓他們感受你的支持,但是如果他們的擁抱不像你的那樣熱烈則表示他們不像你在意他們一樣在意你。
When your language is Physical Touch: You give big hugs, frequently touch people on the arm and knee to show your support but wonder if maybe they don't care for you as much as you do for them, if their hug isn't as tight as yours.
你要如何利用這些方法來成為一個不錯的交流者并與周圍的人更緊密的聯(lián)系呢?
How you can apply this to become a better communicator and connect more deeply with those around you...
找出你最喜歡的語言——如果對你而言讓你生命中最關(guān)鍵的人更好的理解你是十分重要的,要告訴他們。
Identify your preferred language - and if it's really important to you that the key people in your life understand you better, tell them about it.
找出你在家中、在工作上、在社交中應(yīng)該使用的語言。將來,當(dāng)你想與他人更有效地交流時,嘗試找出他們喜歡的語言并投其所好與他交流。
Identify the languages of those around you at home, work and socially - and in the future when you want to communicate more effectively with people, try identifying and then communicating with them in their language.
我們都用不同的方式表達(dá)我們的愛意、支持與感謝;有時這些信號可能會混在一起甚至有點交叉。至少現(xiàn)在,你能確保你說的是同一種語言!
We all communicate our love, support and appreciation in different ways; sometimes the signals can get a little mixed and the wires a little crossed. At least now, you can ensure you're all speaking the same language!