我坐了木船
從重慶到漢口,我坐了木船。
木船危險(xiǎn),當(dāng)然知道。一路上數(shù)不盡的灘,礁石隨處都是,要出事,隨時(shí)可以出。還有盜匪——實(shí)在是最可憐的同胞,他們種地沒得吃,有力氣沒處出賣,當(dāng)了兵經(jīng)常餓肚皮,無(wú)奈何只好出此下策。——假如遇見了,把鋪蓋或者身上衣服帶下去,也是異常難處的事兒。
但是,回轉(zhuǎn)來(lái)想,從前沒有輪船,沒有飛機(jī),歷來(lái)走川江的人都坐木船。就是如今,上上下下的還有許多人在那里坐木船,如果統(tǒng)計(jì)起來(lái),人數(shù)該比坐輪船坐飛機(jī)的多。人家可以坐,我就不能坐嗎?我又不比人家高貴。至于危險(xiǎn),不考慮也罷。輪船飛機(jī)就不危險(xiǎn)嗎?安步當(dāng)車似乎最穩(wěn)妥了,可是人家屋檐邊也可以掉下一張瓦片來(lái)。要絕對(duì)避免危險(xiǎn)就莫要做人。
要坐輪船坐飛機(jī), 自然也有辦法。只要往各方去請(qǐng)托,找關(guān)系,或者干脆買張黑票。先說黑票,且不談付出超過定額的錢,力有不及,心有不甘,單單一個(gè)“黑”字,就叫你不愿領(lǐng)教。“黑”字表示作弊,表示越出常軌。你買黑票,無(wú)異同作弊,贊助越出常軌。一個(gè)人既不能獨(dú)立轉(zhuǎn)移風(fēng)氣,也該在消極方面有所自守,邦同作弊,贊助越出常軌的事兒,總可以免了吧。——這自然是書生之見,不免通達(dá)的人一笑。
再說請(qǐng)托找關(guān)系,聽人家說他們的經(jīng)驗(yàn),簡(jiǎn)直與謀差使一樣的麻煩。在傳達(dá)室恭候,在會(huì)客室恭候,幸而見了那要見的人,他聽說你要設(shè)法買船票,或是飛機(jī)票,愛理不理的答復(fù)你說,“困難呢……下個(gè)星期再來(lái)打聽吧……”于是你覺著好像有一線希望,又好像毫無(wú)把握,只得挨到下星期再去。跑了不知多少趟,總算有眉目了,又得往這一處簽字,那一處蓋章,看種種的臉色,候種種的傳喚,為的是得一份充分的證據(jù),可以去換張票子。票子到手,身分可以改變了,什么機(jī)關(guān)的部屬,什么長(zhǎng)的秘書,什么人的本人或是父親,或者姓名仍舊,或者必須改名換姓,總之要與你自己暫時(shí)脫離關(guān)系。最有味的是冒充什么部的士兵,非但改名換姓,還得穿上灰布棉軍服,腰間束條皮帶。我聽了這些,就死了請(qǐng)托找關(guān)系的念頭。即使餓得要死,也不定要去奉承顏色謀差使,為了一張票子去求教人家,不說我自己犯不著,人家也太費(fèi)心了。重慶的路又那么難走,公共汽車站排隊(duì)往往等上一個(gè)半個(gè)鐘頭,天天為了票子去跑,實(shí)在吃不消。再說與自己暫時(shí)脫離關(guān)系,換上他人的身分,雖然人家不大愛惜名氣,我可不愿濫用那些名氣。我不是部屬,不是秘書,不是某人,不是某人的父親,我是我。我毫無(wú)成就,樣樣不長(zhǎng)進(jìn),我可不愿與任何人易地而處,無(wú)論長(zhǎng)期的或是暫時(shí)的。為了走一趟路,必須易地而處,在我總覺著像被剝奪了什么似的。至于穿灰布棉軍服更為難了,為了走一趟路才穿上那套衣服,豈不褻瀆了那套衣服?褻瀆的人固然不少,我可總不忍——這一套又是書生之見。
抱著書生之見,我決定坐木船。木船比不上輪船,更比不上飛機(jī),千真萬(wàn)確。可是絕對(duì)不用請(qǐng)托,絕對(duì)不用找關(guān)系,也無(wú)所謂黑票。你要船,找運(yùn)輸行,或者自己到碼頭上去找,找著了,言明價(jià)錢,多少錢坐到漢口,每塊錢花得明明白白。在這一點(diǎn)上,我覺得木船好極了,我可以不說一句討情的話,不看一副難看的嘴臉,堂堂正正的憑我的身分東西歸。這是大多數(shù)坐輪船坐飛機(jī)的朋友辦不到的,我可有這種驕傲。
決定了之后,有兩位朋友特來(lái)勸阻,一位從李家沱,一位從柏濱,不怕水程跋涉,為的是關(guān)愛我,瞧得起我。他們說了種種理由,預(yù)想了種種可能的障害,結(jié)末說,還是再考慮一下的好。我真感謝他們,當(dāng)然不敢說不必再行考慮,只好帶玩笑的說,“吉人天相,”安慰他們激動(dòng)的心情。現(xiàn)在,他們接到我平安到達(dá)的消息了,他們也真的安慰了。
I Took a Wooden Boat
I took a wooden boat from Chongqing to Hankou.
Of course I know it is risky to travel by wooden boat. With countless shoals and reefs to negotiate, accidents may happen any time. To complicate matters, there are bandits lurking around — those pitiful fellow countrymen who, unable to ward off starvation by farming or soldiering or whatnot, have been reduced to the disreputable business as a last resort. I'll be in a real fix if they should rob me of, say, my bedding or clothes.
Now, on reflection, I realize that in the days before steamers and aircraft came into use, people used to travel by wooden boat up and down the Sichuan section of the Yangtse River. Even today, many continue to do so, and statistics will invariably show a higher percentage of people travelling by wooden boat than by steamer or aircraft. Why shouldn't I do the same? Why should I think it beneath myself to travel by wooden boat? As for safety, is it less dangerous to travel by steamer or aircraft? Going on foot seems to be the best choice, but a tile falling off the eaves of somebody's house might prove equally disastrous to foot passengers. Enjoying absolute safety is humanly impossible.
It stands to reason that I can go by steamer or aircraft if I care to. I can simply go around fishing for help or personal connections, or just buy a "black" ticket. But I'll have to pay more than the regular price for a "black" ticket, which I can ill afford and which I disdain to do. And the very word "black" generates in me a feeling of repulsion. "Black" signifies fraud or illegal practice. Buying a "black" ticket is as good as getting involved in a fraud or an illegal practice. If it is beyond one's capacity to single-handedly stem the prevailing social evils, one should at least be self-disciplined so as not to make matters worse. All this is undoubtedly the pedantic view of a bookish person — a view which must sound ridiculous to all sensible gentlemen.
Some people have told me from their own experience that soliciting help or seeking personal connections is something as difficult as hunting for a job. You may be kept cooling your heels in a janitor's office or a reception room before an interview is granted. Hearing that you are trying to get a steamer or air ticket, the much sought-after interviewer may reply in a cold and indifferent manner, "Ali, that's difficult ... Come see me next week ..." Thereupon you seem to see a ray of hope, and you may also feel totally uncertain of success. All you can do is wait until then. After making you don't know how many visits, there eventually appear signs of a positive outcome. Then you have to go here and there to get a signature or a seal, meet with all sorts of cold reception and wait for all sorts of summonses — all for the purpose of obtaining a useful certificate to buy a ticket with. Once with a ticket in hand, your status automatically changes. You can now call yourself the employee of a certain government office or a certain official's secretary. You can call yourself so-and-so or so-and-so's father. You can either keep your original name or have it changed. In short, you must temporarily break off relations with your old self. The funniest thing is when you try to pass for a soldier of a certain army unit, you must not only have your name changed, but also wear a grey-cloth cotton-padded army uniform with a leather belt around your waist. All that kills my idea of soliciting help or seeking personal connections. I disdain to go humbly begging for a job even when I am starving, let alone to go asking for other people's help in getting me a mere ticket. Neither is it necessary for me to go to all that trouble, nor should I bother other people for that matter. Going around is hard in the city of Chongqing. You have to queue up for at least 30 minutes or more to get on a bus. It would really be too much for me to go about for the ticket every day. As to the temporary divorce from my old self and the concealing of my identity, I hate to usurp all those designations though other people may think otherwise. I'm neither a government employee, nor a secretary, nor so-and-so, nor so-and-so's father. I am myself. I am just an ordinary man with no urge to do better, so I hate to change places with anybody else, whether for a while or for good. To change places just for the sake of a trip would make me feel like being deprived. Wouldn't it be sinful for me to wear the grey-cloth cotton-padded army uniform for nothing more than making a single trip? Though many other people violate the taboo, I for my part cannot bear to do the same. This again is the impractical view of a bookish person.
It was with this impractical view that I decided to take a wooden boat. It is absolutely true that a wooden boat cannot compare with a steamer, much less an airplane. But there is no need for soliciting help or seeking personal connections, nor the need for the so-called "black" ticket. All you need to do is contact the transport company, or go direct to the wharf to look for a wooden boat. Once you have located it, you will know what the fare is from Chongqing to Hankou, and every dollar will be paid for what it is worth, no more, no less. I find the wooden boat super in this respect. I am saved the humiliation of begging for help or the need of confronting the nasty look on somebody's face. I can travel with my true identity. This is something quite beyond the majority of those travelling by steamer or aircraft. I am proud of it.
After I had made up my mind, two friends of mine, in spite of the difficult boat journey all the way from Li Jia Tuo and Bai Bin respectively, came to dissuade me from taking the wooden boat out of concern and respect for me. They enumerated various reasons against my decision as well as various possible mishaps, advising me in the end to re-consider the matter. I felt very grateful to them, and of course refrained from showing any reluctance to re-consider the matter. By way of allaying their anxiety, I said jokingly, "A good guy always enjoys Heaven's protection." Now, the subsequent news of my safe arrival in Hankou must have set their minds at rest.
葉圣陶(1894—1988)原名葉紹鈞,江蘇蘇州人,為現(xiàn)代文學(xué)家、教育家。《我坐了木船》一文以平淡的口吻敘述他在抗戰(zhàn)勝利后乘木船從重慶到漢口的一番經(jīng)歷,對(duì)當(dāng)時(shí)的黑暗社會(huì)作了無(wú)情的鞭撻。