雙語|現(xiàn)代散文:英培安 欣賞自己

On Self-Appreciation 欣賞自己

◎ Ying Pei'an ◎ 英培安

Frankly，I very much appreciate myself．Yes，I admit I'm in many respects not as good as other people，but I don't think I'm always no good．When I find what I've done or written is okay，I'll remain pleased with myself for quite a few days，and，in case I receive praise for it，I'll even become so swollen-headed as to add a few words to glorify myself.

不怕直說，我是相當欣賞自己的。我承認自己有許多不如人的地方，但也知道并不老是這樣差勁。所以，我做了一件事，寫了一篇文章，只要自覺還不錯我可以樂上幾天，遇有人贊，更飄飄然得不像話；甚至還會忘其所以，插上幾句自夸的話。

True，I'm not modest at all.

真的，我一點也不謙虛。

People may call me conceited．But I think otherwise.

或者這就是自負吧，恐怕要給人罵了。但有什么不對呢？

I also appreciate other people．I appreciate anything good．Isn't it unfair to forget appreciating myself while appreciating others？

我也欣賞別人，凡是好的東西我都欣賞。只懂得欣賞別人而忘了欣賞自己，豈不是太不公平了？

We Chinese are generally inclined to be modest，and we take pride in being so．For example，a Chinese will call his own wife zhuojing，meaning“my humble wife”，and his own writings zhuozuo，meaning“my poor writings”．But if you should call his wife a“rustic woman”or his writings“trash”，he would，I'm sure，slap the table in a rage and declare he would make a clean break with you．As a matter of fact，there is probably no difference at all between what is said by him and you respectively.

但是，我們華人總是比較謙虛，而且引以為榮。自己的太太叫拙荊，文章曰拙作。如果你當真叫他的太太山芭婆，文章如狗屁，他保證勃然大怒，和你拍桌子絕交。其實，你所說的，和他說的，可能并沒什么兩樣。

I don't think it's wrong for you to freely praise yourself if you're really worthy of praise．As we know，there is an old Chinese saying disparaging a melon peddler，named Lao Wang，who keeps praising his own goods．Well，why can't he praise his melons if they are really sweet and juicy？

我以為，如果你的東西確是好的，直接說它好，沒有什么不對。老王賣瓜，只要賣的是好瓜，為什么不能自賣自夸？

Friends，Lao Wang sells melons for a living．How could he carry on business if he，by imitating the affectations of us intellectuals，were to show false modesty about his melons？ He would sure enough die of starvation.

老兄，老王是靠賣瓜吃飯的，叫他也學我們書生扭扭捏捏，對自己的瓜謙虛一番，生意還用做么？他保證餓死大吉。

Self-appreciation is therefore key to professional dedication and enjoyment of work．One will lose confidence in continuing with writing when he ceases to admire his own essays.

能欣賞自己，才能敬業(yè)樂業(yè)，寫文章的人，若老是覺得自己的文章不行，我不相信他有信心涂下去。

Needless to say，the same is true of those who make a living with their pen.

賣文的，更不必說了。

英培安出生于新加坡，祖籍廣東新會，曾旅居香港多年，是新加坡著名作家，創(chuàng)作包括詩、散文、小說、戲劇等，尤其擅長雜文，常以敏捷的思路、簡潔的語言表達他對世事的看法。雜文《欣賞自己》選自香港1984年出版的《人在江湖》一書。