20幾歲的你需要明白了：生活其實(shí)不容易

When you’re a 20 something, you know you need to be mature because you’ve grown up. You’re seen as an adult, not a kid any more. It’s reality, and you really should face it. The faster you learn the most difficult life lessons, the sooner you can lead a great and successful life. Rich Tatum shared the most difficult things he wished he knew when he was 20 on quora:

當(dāng)你已經(jīng)二十幾歲了，你會(huì)明白自己已經(jīng)長大了，需要變得成熟了。別人都不會(huì)再當(dāng)你是個(gè)孩子了，而是會(huì)把你當(dāng)做成年人一樣對待。這是你應(yīng)該要面對的事實(shí)。你越早學(xué)會(huì)生活里最難的課程，你就能越早地過上光彩成功的生活。里奇· 塔特姆在quora上分享了他希望自己在20歲的時(shí)候就已經(jīng)能夠明白的那些最不容易的事情。

1.Love hurts, but not as much as not loving.

愛人會(huì)有傷心的時(shí)候，但是不愛更傷心。

2.The friendships you nurture will have a greater effect on your life than where you work or what you earn.

你精心栽培的友情對你的人生有很大影響，甚至超過了你工作的地方和學(xué)習(xí)到的知識(shí)。

3.You are not your job. You are not your bankroll. You are not the sum of your possessions.

你的工作不是你的全部。你的工資單也不是你的全部。你更不是你所有財(cái)產(chǎn)的總和。

4.The company does not love you. It has no heart. You are replaceable. Keep your parachute handy.

你的公司不會(huì)愛你。公司是沒有感情的。你是可替代的。隨時(shí)準(zhǔn)備好自己的“跳傘”。

5.Few decisions will ever shape your future life more than who you choose to marry. To marry well, you must choose well.

你選擇和誰結(jié)婚是決定你未來人生的最重要的決定，沒有之一。和對的人結(jié)婚，前提是你要做出對的選擇。

6.Love is a commitment.

愛是一種承諾。

7.Believe it or not, passions grow out of your values. Make early, wise choices to value what (and who) is good, trustworthy, and praiseworthy.

不管你信不信，激情來源于你的價(jià)值觀。早一點(diǎn)做出明智的選擇，明確對自己來說什么或者誰才是好的、值得信賴的以及值得稱贊的。

8.Integrity preserved is honor won.

保持完整的人格就是為自己贏得的榮耀。

9.Rejoice in your health. It fades fast.

為自己健康的體魄感到高興，因?yàn)榻】等菀缀芸煜拧?/p>

10.Find a passion. Pick a hobby, own it: photography, juggling—whatever. Get your 10K hours of perfect practice in early and change your life.

找到讓你感覺到激情的事情。選擇一個(gè)愛好，擁有它：攝影、雜技或者隨便什么。早點(diǎn)享受猶如純10k金般珍貴的時(shí)間，從此改變你的生活。

11.Don’t bother comparing yourself to others—this only leads to heartbreak, anger, and disappointment.

不要與他人比較——這只會(huì)讓你心碎、生氣或者失望。

12.Most disappointments grow from unmet expectations. Set realistic expectations for yourself, based on your strengths, then strive to exceed them.

失望大多來源于未能滿足的期望。根據(jù)自己的長處，給自己設(shè)置一些實(shí)際的期望，然后努力超越它們。

13.Don’t drive others to meet expectations they’ve committed to — lead, inspire, and help them do it.

不要逼著別人去完成他們已經(jīng)在努力完成的目標(biāo)——引導(dǎo)、鼓勵(lì)而且?guī)椭麄兺瓿赡繕?biāo)。

14.Don’t set expectations for others when they haven’t or cannot commit to them.

如果別人還沒有決定或者沒有能力完成一些目標(biāo)，那就不要給他們設(shè)置這些目標(biāo)。

15.Don’t complain. Either change your situation, learn to cope, or change your perspective.

不要抱怨。你可以努力改變自己的處境、學(xué)習(xí)解決問題或者轉(zhuǎn)換一下自己的視角。

16.Don’t worry about making big bucks out of the gate, worry first about doing whatever you have to do excellently.

不要急著一出校門口就要賺大把的鈔票，先專注于自己可以出色地完成的事情。

17.Little stuff matters—even in lowly jobs. The boss notices and even if not, your peers and colleagues do.

細(xì)節(jié)很重要——即使是在簡單的工作中。你的老板會(huì)注意的，即使老板沒有注意到，你的同學(xué)或同事也會(huì)注意到的。

18.Ultimately, privacy is a myth: God sees everything. The cloud records everything. NSAfiles everything. So, live transparently and don’t waste useless energy hiding failures.

最后，真正的秘密是不存在的：上帝看得到所有的事情。云朵記錄著一切。國家安全局把一切記錄在案。所以，請?zhí)故幍厣?，不要浪費(fèi)力氣去掩蓋失敗。

19.Don’t look down on others because they don’t have what you didn’t earn—your intellect, your beauty, and your culture of birth are undeserved gifts…be humble.

不要瞧不起別人因?yàn)樗麄冎皇菦]有你天生的一些東西——你的智力、你的美貌、你出生的環(huán)境等，這些都是你本來不該得到的饋贈(zèng)。所以，謙虛點(diǎn)吧。

20.Failure is an opportunity: no great man or woman ever achieved significance without great failures to learn from.

失敗同樣是一個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)：偉大的男人或者女人都是從巨大的失敗中吸取教訓(xùn)后取得偉大成就的。

21.Never withhold an apology when it’s merited. Deliver it quickly, sincerely, and personally—before resentment festers.

該道歉時(shí)就道歉。道歉的時(shí)間要盡快、態(tài)度要真誠，還要親自去道歉——趁怨恨還沒有滋生的時(shí)候。

22.You don’t need to nurture old guilt when you’re forgiven. But remembering the shame can help you avoid repeats.

如果別人已經(jīng)原諒你了，你就沒有必要再覺得愧疚了。但是記著，記住羞愧可以讓你避免重蹈覆轍。

23.Mere belief in anything signifies little more than assent. It’s trust and behavior that reveal where convictions lie.

僅僅是相信一切也不過是一種附和。真正的信念來源于信賴和行動(dòng)。

24.The main thing you need to do quickly is to stop doing things quickly. Trade hurry for calm, confidence, and precision.

你要盡快做的事情主要就是不要再快速地做事情了。把快速轉(zhuǎn)變成冷靜、自信以及準(zhǔn)確。

25.Everybody needs an editor. Everybody.

每個(gè)人都需要一個(gè)編輯。每個(gè)人!

26.Get your work done first so you can play without guilt. Even better, make work play and the fun never ends!

先把工作做完，這樣你才能沒有負(fù)擔(dān)地玩了。更好的做法是，把工作當(dāng)做一種樂趣，這樣你的快樂就無窮無盡了。

27.If you want to develop your passion and gift, stop worrying about the things you do poorly. Go with your strengths!

如果你想要發(fā)展自己的激情和天賦，不要為自己做得不好的事情焦慮了，專注于自己的長項(xiàng)!

28.Avoid fights. Seriously. Avoid them like a plague: nobody wins in a fight, even if you walk away unscathed. But when a fight picks you, leave everything on the mat and give it your all. Hold nothing back.

避免斗爭。說真的。就像躲瘟疫一樣躲避斗爭：沒有人在一場斗爭中勝出，即使你毫發(fā)無損地離開了。但是，如果你被迫迎戰(zhàn)，放下一切，全力出擊，毫不保留!

29.If you’re bored, you’re doing it wrong.

如果你覺得無聊，那就是你做事情的方式不對。

30.The skills that will help your career most are the abilities to assimilate, communicate, and persuade. Keep learning.

最能幫助你的職業(yè)的是這些技巧：消化吸收新知識(shí)的能力、交流能力還有說服他人的能力。不斷學(xué)習(xí)!

31.Nothing in this life—no pain, no agony, no failure—compares to the eternal joy of Heaven. Live in light of eternity.

生活里沒有什么比得上天堂里永恒的快樂——疼痛、痛苦或者失敗都是值得的?；钤谟篮愕目鞓分邪?

32.Protect your joy. Nothing is easier to lose by over-thinking, overanalyzing, and second-guessing. On the other hand, always consider the long-term consequences of your choices: stupid decisions made in the moment can rob you of years of joy and happiness.

保護(hù)你的快樂。如果你想得太多、分析太多或者猜疑太多，那就很容易失敗。另一方面，永遠(yuǎn)記得考慮你的選擇所帶來的長期后果：倉促作出的愚蠢決定可能會(huì)剝奪你好幾年的快樂和幸福。

33.Your purpose in life determines how you frame events. You can maintain your joy in the most dire circumstances if you find meaning for your life. Dig deep.

你生活的目的決定了你組織事情的方式。如果你找到了自己生活的意義，即使是在最糟糕的處境里你也能保持愉悅。深入挖掘吧。

34.It truly matters what you think about. Think well by reading good books, building good, loving relationships, having good conversation, and imitating great people.

你的思想真的很重要。通過讀好書、建立美好可愛的戀情、交心的談話還有模仿很棒的人來讓自己的思想有境界。

I’m still learning — in fact I haven’t fully appreciated most of the list I made, myself. And I’m still adding to it. But I’m getting better.

我還在不停地學(xué)習(xí)——實(shí)際上，我還沒有完全領(lǐng)會(huì)我所列出的清單。而且，我還在補(bǔ)充這個(gè)清單。但是，我變得越來越好了!