考研英語作文考場范文批改及點(diǎn)評(6)

From the picture above we can see that there are three trees in the picture, and one of them is growing very strongly.(用一般現(xiàn)在時，且strongly運(yùn)用不合適。可改為one of them grows very well) However, the other two trees (去掉)look like very small. If you take a(去掉) careful notice, you’ll find that a tree has become bend(bent) because of (去掉，因?yàn)楹竺媸莻€句子)the big tree hostile his development. (the big tree holds back its growth)The drawer(drawer是抽屜的意思，painter) of the image aims at revealing a common phenomenon in our country, children today are generally spoiled. There are two major reasons for the problem. On one hand, as the reform of population policy, most families are allowed(加to have)only one child who is usually regarded as the ‘apple’ of parent’s(parents’) eye. Therefore, parents are always try (trying) their best to provide their child with everything they want. On the other hand, lacking the awareness of bearing hardships is also an important reason that can not be ignored.I think it is imperative that we should take some effective measures. To begin with, our government can modify the policy that allows families to raise more than one students(child). In addition, the most (加effective或者important之類的形容詞) measure of all is that we should cultivate the sense of dependent. Only in this way, can we meliorate the problem in the near future.

編輯點(diǎn)評

文章準(zhǔn)確把握了試題的考察點(diǎn)，立意正確，內(nèi)容較充實(shí)，有銜接，層次清楚，需注意以下問題：1、文章有些許語法錯誤，需檢查自己是由于粗心大意還是因?yàn)樵诿~、形容詞、副詞等方面掌握有問題，加強(qiáng)自己的語法基礎(chǔ);2、文章基本采用簡單句，應(yīng)該注意句式變換，可適當(dāng)模仿一些經(jīng)典佳句，運(yùn)用到自己的文章中，使文章有亮點(diǎn);3、多積累一些相關(guān)的素材，使自己文章的內(nèi)容更加深刻。在規(guī)定的時間完成作文后，多潤色幾遍，使其更上一個臺階。

參考分?jǐn)?shù)：14分(滿分20分)