高考滿分作文：寫(xiě)人記敘文

寫(xiě)人記敘文

【寫(xiě)作分析】

寫(xiě)人記敘文，一般為肖像描寫(xiě)、行動(dòng)描寫(xiě)、語(yǔ)言描寫(xiě)、心理描寫(xiě)以及對(duì)細(xì)節(jié)的描寫(xiě)，應(yīng)根據(jù)要求，靈活掌握，突出重點(diǎn)。

【幾點(diǎn)注意】

1.使用正確人稱和時(shí)態(tài)。

①時(shí)態(tài)：

一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)--描寫(xiě)人物外貌、性格、興趣等

一般過(guò)去時(shí)-- 描寫(xiě)人物出生、教育背景、經(jīng)歷、事跡

②人稱：第一人稱或第三人稱

2.介紹人物的姓名、年齡、外貌、學(xué)歷、經(jīng)歷、專業(yè)、愛(ài)好、特長(zhǎng)、事跡、性格等，包括所給的全部信息點(diǎn)，不能遺漏或隨意添加。

3.對(duì)所給的信息進(jìn)行適當(dāng)重組，安排好寫(xiě)作順序，突出重點(diǎn)信息。

4.正確運(yùn)用描寫(xiě)人物的詞匯和句型。

【常見(jiàn)詞語(yǔ)】

①外貌特征：

pretty, beautiful, good-looking，handsome,ordinary-looking, with a big nose, with a big

smile, short, tall,thin, strong, white-haired，1.80 metres tall, …

②性格特點(diǎn)：

absent-minded, charming, attractive, bright, wise smart, confident, naughty，talkative, diligent,

lazy, friendly, generous, be ready to help others,kind-hearted, warm-hearted, patient, humorous,

have a good/ bad temper, independent,narrow-minded, …

③童年情況：

as a boy of 15, be born on, during his childhood, live a happy/hard life, the son of a poor family,

spend his childhood in, ...

④興趣愛(ài)好： be delighted in doing, be good at , be interested in , be fond of , be crazy about, be pleased with, do well in, enjoy doing, have a strong desire to do, long for/long to do), take a pleasure in doing,…

⑤教育背景： be admitted to Beijing University, be enrolled in, fail in the test, get a master’s

degree, get on well with one’s lessons, go abroad to further one’s study, graduate from,major in, receive a doctor’s degree, pass the examination, take an active part in, …

⑥ 成就或事跡：

become a member of the team, encourage sb to do sth, give up one’s life for sth, receive the

Nobel Prize for physics, set a new world record of,win the first prize in, win a gold /silver/ bronze

medal, have a talent for, make up one’s mind to do sth., put one’s heart into, work hard at,

concentrate oneself to, devote oneself to,do sth.with great determination and perseverance, ...

⑦他人評(píng)價(jià)：

an inspiring leader, a model worker, an advanced teacher, be respected by , be honored as, be

considered/regarded as, be famous/known as,his hard work brought him great success, make

great contributions to our country, set a good example for , be highly spoken of for, ...

例文

你班要舉辦以“Ordinary but Great”為題的英語(yǔ)主題班會(huì)。

請(qǐng)根據(jù)下列信息準(zhǔn)備一篇發(fā)言稿，介紹趙郁的成長(zhǎng)經(jīng)歷。

注意： 1、詞數(shù)不少于60。

2、文章的題目和開(kāi)頭已經(jīng)給出。

3、可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫。

提示詞：首席技師 chief technician

Ordinary but Great

We are all ordinary people, but following what we are interested in and doing what we are good

at can help us make great achievements for society and go far. Here’s a convincing and inspiring example.

______________________________________

【范文】

Zhao Yu, the chief technician in the Benz Company,is regarded as a great success. However, his success is no accident. As a young boy with a sense of creativity, he was eager to learn and to make a lot of inventions. Being an ordinary worker in the Benz Company for 17 years, not only did he do well in his job, but he also made efforts to teach himself English and to learn how to use computers. Now it is easy for him to read English materials about cars. Besides, he became expert at solving various technical problems.Because of his great contribution, he has received awards many times.

Zhao Yu has set a good example that ordinary people can stand out by doing their jobs with interest and enthusiasm.

【評(píng)析】

1.作者運(yùn)用了所給出的全部信息：姓名、職務(wù)、經(jīng)歷。對(duì)所給的信息進(jìn)行了適當(dāng)重組，突出了重點(diǎn)信息(趙郁的經(jīng)歷)，內(nèi)容完整、詳略得當(dāng)，體現(xiàn)了話題“Ordinary but great”所表達(dá)的內(nèi)容。

2. 正確使用人稱(第三人稱)，靈活使用時(shí)態(tài)(一般過(guò)去時(shí)、一般現(xiàn)在時(shí));合理使用過(guò)渡詞，使文章層次分明、結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊。

3. 語(yǔ)言規(guī)范，表達(dá)準(zhǔn)確。文章運(yùn)用了一些高級(jí)句式，如同位語(yǔ)、介詞短語(yǔ)、分詞短語(yǔ)、倒裝句、同位語(yǔ)從句等，增加了文章的亮點(diǎn)。