我心目中的父親(My father in my heart)

　　how to discribe my father's characator seemed very easy in the past.but , maybe i've got wrong and been wrong all the time.

　　in the past , when my nature mother was still living with us , he had a savage mood which often frightened both my mother and me .after they got quarrelled , a fight was unavoidable .maybe a fight contains misunderstandings of both ,but in those day ,i thought that it was all my father's fault.i hated him! he was the ghost in my life!

　　when i was sixteen ,my life changed because of the death of my mama.she was badly hurt in a home accident, and though the god she believed had no power to rescue her.from then on ,my figure change a lot ,from a naughty, passionate boy to a quiet and diffident boy .i didn't want to talk with anyone .my father ,however was seriously flustrated, he also had to take the reponsibility of bringing me up.during that very hard moment , on one hand ,he had to stand up for the tragedy, on the other hand ,he had to work hard to support my education. as in that time ,all me got in hand was only 3000 yuan , if i succeeded in entering a higher school ,at least ,would cost 7000 yuan a year,that's not a money of bit.

　　i've always thought that i must be the most unfornate one in the world .when i got frustrated in life , i'd nowhere to explain as i'd been used to express my heartache to my dear mother and now she wasn't there .every time i saw the mothers and sons pass aside me ,i felt so sorrow ,and i knew how longly i was!i was sure indeed i was the most sorrow one !

　　but to my father, how did he feel when he lost his beloved? maybe then i was really to youny to observe .i only knew he was very very sad .i heard that when my mother was in hospital ,he laid down on his knees to ask help from the doctors,and when the doctor shaked his head ,he nearly wanted to die with her!someone said that " though they quarrelled a lot , but they really loves each other". before those days ,i only get closed to my mother , and once they quarrelled or fighted , she would hated him , however , to stand with here, i hated him day by day , sometimes i even felt himjust like the devil in my life . i've never thought he would be in such a sorrowness.

　　my aunts would come and see me every month . they taught me that i should do whatever my father want me to , till i've been a man ,could get away from him . i knew what they meant.i often got on uneasy with them ,and i hated them to keep an should eye on my father .to me they really had a pity on or felt some responsibilities. but i hated pity most !

　　nothing can be believed from the other's mouths.i made the conclusion in the past time . many a person was fond of discussing the others . they got happinesses from the department of other families.i think they are all the mut , fool monkeys !nothing can be more stupid!!!i understood him with the increasing of my age.

　　i changed my opinion to him during that very hot summer .he was working in a eletrical line factory. during those unusual hot days ,he worked 10-15 hours a day for an extra income. but he fell ill seriously after that , despite of the ill he insisted on working yet. at last he illed to bed , taking a medicine care. i could think about the heavy burden on his shoulders,and i certainly got shocked by his complete change frome a devil to a dear hardworking father!