陳豪在北京的ABC美國公司工作。他跟美國同事Amy一起走出會議室。
(Office ambience)
C:Amy, 今天我第一次主持會議。你覺得怎么樣?
A:I thought you did well considering that you have not been in that position before.
C:可我自己覺得挺糟糕的。雖然來開會的人并沒說什么,但是我能感覺到,有好幾個人并不欣賞我的報告,或者是根本不感興趣。
A:What made you think that? Anyone in particular?
C:比如說吧,會開到一半的時候,Ken把筆記本一合,雙手抱臂,往椅子上一仰。
A:How did you feel when he did that?
C:我立刻很緊張,覺得他認(rèn)為我的發(fā)言很糟糕。
A:I noticed that, too. In fact it was pretty obvious to everyone.
C:你覺得他是故意這樣做的嗎?
A:Knowing Ken, I would say yes and I would add that he wanted to make sure you got the message.
C:如果他對我有什么意見,我寧可他告訴我。
A:What he did was use his body to send his message. It's a discourteous tactic that many people use in business to express their feelings without putting them in words.
C:你是說在商業(yè)界很多人都會用這種方式表達(dá)自己的看法,而不是直接把意見說出來,那又是為什么呢?
A:Sometimes people feel safer using body language to intimidate or humiliate others.
C:他們?yōu)槭裁磿X得用肢體語言去羞辱別人更安全呢?
A:I am sorry, Chen Hao. Can we continue this later? I need to meet my boss in five minutes.
C:那你先忙。我們一會兒見。
******
當(dāng)天下午陳豪和Amy一起喝咖啡。
C:Amy, 你上午說有人更愿意用肢體語言表達(dá)自己的看法。這是為什么呢?
A:People can always refute or deny the meaning of their body language.
C:噢,如果有人事后指責(zé)他們表現(xiàn)消極,他們可以矢口否認(rèn),說這是誤會。那所有人都是有意這樣做的嗎?
A:A lot of people aren't even aware of their body language. I think that it is often unintentional.
C:很多人都是無意的?你能舉個例子嗎?
A:Like Sue. Did you notice that she came to our meeting for the first time today?
C:我注意到了,Sue是第一次來參加會議,但是她坐在后面的角落里,從頭到尾一言不發(fā)。
A:I think she felt left out.
C:你為什么說Sue覺得自己被忽視了呢?
A:Because the two people closest to her kept moving their chairs with their backs turned more and more to her. I don't think it was intentional - they were just trying to see and hear better.
C:Sue 一定是誤會了,覺得別人不歡迎她。
A:That's right. So she withdrew as well.