Part I Writing
Nothing Succeeds Without a Strong Will
Nothing runs smoothly in our life. To achieve things successfully, a strong will is essential. Life is like a Marathon. Many people can’t get to the terminal. This is not because they are lack of vitality but because their will of success is not strong enough.
To take quitting smoking as an example, some regard it as a piece of cake. They make up their minds to quit it in the morning, but in the evening they feel that the smell of cigarettes is tempting. Their throats are sore, their mouths are thirsty, and their hands are shaking. After the painful mental struggle, they tell themselves that “One cigarette is enough. Just take one, and the next day I will quit it.” By doing this, they surrender to their weak will. In the end, they have quitted smoking “a hundred times”, but in no time they succeed.
Just like quitting smoking, nothing succeeds without a strong will. To be successful in one’s life, a strong will means that you know where you go and you will persist on the road you choose. Undoubtedly success belongs to those who overcome their weak will and who hang in there until the last minute.
點(diǎn)評(píng):
本文屬于話題類作文,只看題目 “Nothing Succeeds without a strong will”考生會(huì)覺得比較抽象,難以下手。細(xì)看題目說明中給出了提示,要求考生結(jié)合戒煙屢次不成功的幽默引語對(duì)該話題進(jìn)行分析闡述。
總體來說,這是一篇“中等偏上”的考生作文。本文先點(diǎn)題指出“堅(jiān)強(qiáng)意志”的重要性;第二段從反面舉例闡述——具體描寫了意志不堅(jiān)定者的心理活動(dòng),闡述為什么會(huì)戒煙失敗;最后從戒煙延伸到生活中的其他事情,并復(fù)述堅(jiān)強(qiáng)意志的內(nèi)涵,點(diǎn)題收尾。
總體上來看,文章思路清晰,采用了生動(dòng)的比喻和形象的心理描寫,語言流暢,用語地道。
但一些重復(fù)表達(dá)(如第二段和第三段中的weak will)顯得單調(diào),可用shaky ones, weak-willed persons,the strong-willed等靈活表達(dá)。在備考中,多積累不同表達(dá),相信會(huì)寫出更生動(dòng)的文章。
在論述上,敘述略顯羅嗦。第二段心理描寫過多,雖然流暢生動(dòng),但卻使這篇考場(chǎng)作文超過了規(guī)定字?jǐn)?shù),反而成為失分點(diǎn),這一點(diǎn)要引以為戒。
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