托福寫作高分你得這么做！

　　1.名師指導(dǎo)寫作高分技巧

　　2.不斷實(shí)踐高分技巧

　　3.名師指點(diǎn)修改

　　技巧

　　1.學(xué)會快速審題-根據(jù)題干，判斷題型，決定解題方式.

　　2.學(xué)會快速展開文章結(jié)構(gòu)-具體包括開頭段，論點(diǎn)，讓步段，結(jié)尾段的具體展開技巧和語言點(diǎn).

　　3.學(xué)會多樣化展開中間段部分-學(xué)會寫例子，細(xì)節(jié)，重邏輯串聯(lián)，忌細(xì)節(jié)堆砌.

　　修改

　　寫作高分，除了以上所提到的掌握技巧意外，另外需要的是各位寶寶們的不斷踐行;對于基礎(chǔ)一般的同學(xué)一開始的過程會被罵的狗血淋頭，因?yàn)槲恼聭K不忍睹;等作文能夠穩(wěn)定24分左右以后;你所需要做的事情就是將那些寫的已經(jīng)能看的作文，通過名師指導(dǎo)修改成一篇真正的高分文章，最后一步嘛;當(dāng)然就是背背背啦!這可比漫無目的的去背誦各式各樣的范文提升的要快的多;因?yàn)槟闼痴b的文章思路是你自己的，大部分的語言組織也是你自己的。

　　下面就向各位寶寶們展示下什么叫做一篇投入心血的精心批改(黃色為題目;黑色為未批改的作文;紅色為批改和建議部分;藍(lán)色為整體評語);

　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Environmental issues can be solved or improved in the future. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

　　文章優(yōu)勢：觀點(diǎn)鮮明，結(jié)構(gòu)明確，有例子和細(xì)節(jié)，語言表達(dá)尚可

　　需要改進(jìn)的地方： 1.小語法錯(cuò)誤 2.語言表達(dá)比較啰嗦 3.邏輯上很多地方不準(zhǔn)確 4.致命傷：中間段2論點(diǎn)不切題， 段落內(nèi)的論證邏輯不清晰。

　　這篇文章企圖從兩個(gè)角度論證環(huán)境會變好：

　　1.現(xiàn)在全球政府已經(jīng)意識到，且開始行動- 第一段主體段邏輯沒有問題

　　2.普通人的意識也正在逐漸養(yǎng)成。- 第二段主題段論點(diǎn)不扣題- 不應(yīng)該表達(dá)：提出環(huán)境保護(hù)意識是有效的措施。而應(yīng)該表達(dá)為： 跟過去比起來，現(xiàn)在的人們已經(jīng)養(yǎng)成了保護(hù)環(huán)境的意識。 言下之意，就是現(xiàn)在和將來的人們會主動的去保護(hù)環(huán)境。

　　Some people consider that environmental problems can be more awful in the future for they believe that the more advent technology, the more pollution will come out(想表達(dá)科技越先進(jìn)，污染問題越多 應(yīng)該改為， the more advanced the technology is, the more environmental problems would pop up).(建議整個(gè)句子修改為：In today’s society, many people consider the environment problems could be more awful in the future for the advent of more technological products like the automobile would lead to more serious environmental contamination) However, I believe that environment will be better tomorrow because the every country of the world have been going to take action to face the circumstance issues and human have recognized the importance of protecting surroundings as time goes on(去掉the, 謂語動詞三單，介詞of改為the 時(shí)態(tài)改為完成式即可——- because every country in the world has prepared to take action to resolve environmental issue and the public has already recognized the importance of environmental conservation as time goes by ).

　　To begin with, environmental issues have become a major matter of concern for a number of countries. (添加過渡性短語- In this way,) This fact has led them to come up with many measures to solve the environmental problems(去掉后面的the 即 solve environmental problems). For instance, The United Nations Climate Change conference which about 192 countries attended was held in 2009, it aimed to discuss and put forward acts to cope with climatic change problems(第一個(gè)專有名詞后面從句改為：The United Nations Climate Change conference attended by 192 countries was held in 2009 with the collective goal, that is, coping with the issue of climate change). There is no doubt that(少用套句，改為： Undoubtedly,) it has good impact on the tendency of changing climate on the Earth(這句話語言表達(dá)和上一句有重復(fù)且時(shí)態(tài)表達(dá)有問題 改為: the conference was a good start symbolizing the cooperation of the whole world to address environmental issue). And this is a know as‘ save the human last chance ’of the meeting(不要另起一句，直接and并列句 即改為： … and it was known as a meeting of last chance to salvage human beings). Furthermore, more and more solar cars are produced, which are made to save energy to protect environment(furthermore表示遞進(jìn)or并列此處邏輯上不是很強(qiáng)， 改為：as a consequence, the number of solar vehicles has experienced a dramatic increase. ). In a word, all of the actions are in order to prevent our Earth from destroying( in order to如此用絕對的中式英文，且總結(jié)的句子表達(dá)出來的意思并不能幫忙總結(jié)這個(gè)段落，應(yīng)該與論點(diǎn)呼應(yīng)，表達(dá)出的大致意義應(yīng)該是：因此可以看出，全球已經(jīng)意識到環(huán)境問題，且政府以及采取了很多行動， 與下一段形成呼應(yīng) 下一段應(yīng)該以“普通人也養(yǎng)成了保護(hù)環(huán)境得意時(shí)”。 所以應(yīng)該改成： In a word, governments throughout the world have reached an agreement to protect the environment and taken immediate effective and potent measures to avert continual environmental deterioration).

　　In addition, raising environmental awareness can be an effective method to prevent and control pollution(論點(diǎn)扣題，應(yīng)該改為： In addition, current individuals have already cultivated the awareness of environmental preservation and contributed a lot to environmental protection). In contemporary society (in the …), many more people are concern about the environmental situation (are concerned about/ current environmental situation) . Another example of Beijing, which used to be an auto-dependent city, Shrouded by smothering smog for years, residents in Beijing have totally realized the severe consequences brought by heavy smog and are fully motivated to reduce the number of private cars, burn clean fuels and lead a low-carbon life (句子主干結(jié)構(gòu)應(yīng)該是：北京被霧霾籠罩很多年，因此北京人知道了后果，開始被激勵(lì)去減少適用私家車，燃燒干凈能源，過低碳生活。 首先邏輯上：這句話的中文實(shí)際就不是很扣論點(diǎn)，應(yīng)該改為，北京人意識到霧霾的后果，開始養(yǎng)成了后續(xù)的這些習(xí)慣。 其次語言上： 北京被霧霾籠罩缺乏謂語。 建議整句話改為;Since citizens in Beijing shrouded by smothering smog for years realize the severe consequences of environmental pollution, they have gradually developed the habit of reducing the frequency of driving private cars, burning clean fuels and leading a low-carbon life). Therefore, government are required to offer more courses, videos and reports useful for raising public awareness on environmental protection in order to create a pleasant ecological environment with cleaner air(這句話的邏輯不通， 作者觀點(diǎn)環(huán)境未來會變好， 這段的論證思路是; 普通人意識到保護(hù)環(huán)境-例子;北京人受到霧霾影響，因此改變了習(xí)慣。 接下來不應(yīng)該說因此， 政府需要去提供更多課。 作者應(yīng)該這樣去表達(dá)， 與此同時(shí)，現(xiàn)在的政府也會去做一些事情去加強(qiáng)人們的意識。所以這句應(yīng)該改為： Meanwhile, the government also endeavors to strengthen people’s awareness of environmental protection by offering more public courses and related educational TV programs to create a favorable ecological environment). The example shows that our environmental circumstances will gradually get better(總結(jié)句依然不扣題，應(yīng)該改為，因此可以看出，現(xiàn)在普通人的行為已經(jīng)發(fā)生了改變，他們的環(huán)保意識有利于將來環(huán)境質(zhì)量的提升。所以表達(dá)為： Apparently, the behavior of common people has been changed and their strong consciousness of environmental protection is beneficial to the improvement of future environmental quality).

　　All in all, our environment will get better tomorrow. I feel hopeful that many more countries is going to take steps to face the environmental problems and more and more people have consciousness on the environmental protection. (小語法錯(cuò)誤，另外句子不夠精煉，謂語動詞三單，is-are。 整句建議改為; the efforts made by both the worldwide governments and ordinary individuals can explain why I am convinced that environment in the near future will be improved. )