托福寫(xiě)作五種結(jié)構(gòu)類(lèi)錯(cuò)誤總結(jié)

　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the loss of old friends.

　　這個(gè)題目有的同學(xué)的解答是disagree，她的理由是搬家的各種好處，F(xiàn)rom my point of view, it is quite beneficial for people to move from place to place for a variety of reasons like broadening our horizons and take risks etc.但是卻忘了和文章中的原因friends聯(lián)系起來(lái)，導(dǎo)致跑題。

　　2.對(duì)比類(lèi)話題沒(méi)有對(duì)比

　　Do you agree or disagree: The telephone has greater influence on people’s lives than television?

　　通常這類(lèi)話題看起來(lái)很簡(jiǎn)單，其實(shí)卻最容易誘導(dǎo)人進(jìn)入一個(gè)忘我又忘題的境界。很多童鞋看到這類(lèi)話題，馬上腦子里就開(kāi)始轉(zhuǎn)了，如果是支持telephone，就想到很多telephone的好處;如果是television，就準(zhǔn)備開(kāi)始褒獎(jiǎng)television。

　　但是他們卻忽略了一個(gè)問(wèn)題，就是greater influence中這個(gè)比較級(jí)意味著作者在表?yè)P(yáng)一方的同時(shí)要說(shuō)明為什么這一方的優(yōu)點(diǎn)另一方缺乏。如果不能說(shuō)明的話，單純地說(shuō)一方好，并不能證明另一方不好啊。你們說(shuō)是不是?

　　所以說(shuō)，比較類(lèi)話題千萬(wàn)別忘了比較!!!針對(duì)這道題寫(xiě)一寫(xiě)我的思路：

　　1. Television can transfer information more efficiently and effectively than telephone does.

　　2. The information on television is relatively closer to truth.

　　3. Television plays a valuable role in reuniting family members in a unique way, which cannot be provided by telephone.

　　我這三個(gè)論點(diǎn)并不一定完善準(zhǔn)確，但是起碼表明看懂了題目，力圖找出可供對(duì)比的證據(jù)!當(dāng)然，也不一定是每段開(kāi)頭都這么嚴(yán)格地表明對(duì)比的立場(chǎng)，但是字里行間起碼要告訴人家，恩，你有在對(duì)比!

　　3.文章段落內(nèi)部過(guò)長(zhǎng)，例子過(guò)于贅述

　　我們說(shuō)思路要清晰簡(jiǎn)潔有條理，也就是要避免一個(gè)段落內(nèi)部敘述過(guò)多的內(nèi)容，尤為需要注意的就是，有些童鞋一寫(xiě)例子就收不住手!感覺(jué)例子貼近生活，很好寫(xiě)，就一直寫(xiě)!這是大家需要克服的!雖然你想寫(xiě)，但是人家未必感興趣，你只要把大致的內(nèi)容用兩三句話表達(dá)一下即可，給人一個(gè)直觀的概念比反反復(fù)復(fù)贅述要好得多!比如以下的例子就太長(zhǎng)了。

　　(典型反例，引以為戒)When taking economy into consideration, people will find it there is no doubt that well-paid jobs are the better choice than another, because a well-paid job can satisfy people's need. The case of my friend David, who has a well-paid job can serve as a good example for my statement. He had been to a little company after he finished his college's study. This company only can give him little wages but there are no people compete him in work and he need not to worry about he will lose his job because this company cannot attract more employers. In the first, he thought he will relax when he works and it is true. Unfortunately, when a new kind of computer is put into the market and he wanted to get it, he found his wages cannot support it. And then his changed a job which can give him a well-paid but not safety. Finally, he can buy everything he likes.

　　4 段落中心句沒(méi)有起到總結(jié)全段的作用

　　我們通常把段落第一句作為中心句，因而這個(gè)中心句的作用也是很重要的。因此在寫(xiě)中心句的時(shí)候要想清楚你這一段要表達(dá)什么再寫(xiě)!不要寫(xiě)空話大話、沒(méi)有意義的話。否則，你的中心句就沒(méi)有辦法得到段落內(nèi)部例子的支持和論證。

　　同學(xué)們可以看看下面這個(gè)例子，長(zhǎng)長(zhǎng)不知所云：

　　(典型反例，引以為戒)When you are full of sorrow, the one accompanies with you and enlighten you is always your old friends because they know you intimately. If you keep your old friends while making new friends, you cannot keep the balance of two sides. Please imagine that there is always someone that you do not understand more with each other and when you know more about these friends, you will make new friends and then face a stranger again. It is too strange and ridiculous. So I deem that keeping old friends and prolonging the friendship will present more convenience and familiarity.

　　為了克服這個(gè)錯(cuò)誤，我給大家的建議呢就是：先寫(xiě)個(gè)大概的中心句，等把整段寫(xiě)完之后再回過(guò)頭來(lái)看一看你的中心句是否起到了中心的作用，如果沒(méi)有，那就盡量讓它detailed到可以涵蓋段落內(nèi)部的內(nèi)容!!

　　5.頭重腳輕

　　一般犯這種錯(cuò)誤的作者，都是在下筆之時(shí)沒(méi)有構(gòu)思好，于是出現(xiàn)了越寫(xiě)越少，前期用力過(guò)猛，后期后勁不足的現(xiàn)象。其實(shí)，如果不是過(guò)于明顯的話，這種錯(cuò)誤是不會(huì)引起考官注意的~這里我寫(xiě)出這種錯(cuò)誤主要是希望大家在寫(xiě)作文時(shí)能夠較好地平衡各段落之間的關(guān)系，不要有話寫(xiě)的時(shí)候就瘋狂寫(xiě)，沒(méi)話說(shuō)的時(shí)候就可憐巴巴。