托福寫作常見(jiàn)的審題雷區(qū)

　　托福寫作中，審題是最關(guān)鍵的，如果大家在審題的時(shí)候就進(jìn)入的誤區(qū)。那么我們的作文也會(huì)跑題。因此大家在平時(shí)的備考中，也要注意避免這些誤區(qū)。

　　我們將審題的雷區(qū)大致歸結(jié)為兩個(gè)方面，一是宏觀層面踩到了大雷，即題目回答角度完全跑偏，非但“fail to address the task and the topic effectively”，更是“fail to address the task and the topic”;二是微觀層面被散彈擊中，即題目雖然沒(méi)有理解錯(cuò)，但在論述過(guò)程中因?yàn)閷忣}不仔細(xì)或論述不嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)，亦或是論述過(guò)程中思路出現(xiàn)偏差而帶來(lái)的論述跑偏。

　　首先我們先來(lái)看一下所謂宏觀層面的審題雷區(qū)，這樣的審題錯(cuò)誤往往是由于考生錯(cuò)誤地理解考題的本意，而給出了可謂“驢唇不對(duì)馬嘴”的答案，以TPO 25為例：

　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

　　Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities.

　　以下是一個(gè)學(xué)生給出的一個(gè)主體段：

　　The main reason for my disagreement is that community service could help students gain knowledge and abilities that cannot be acquired in school. They can get acquainted with people in different age, with different backgrounds, and having different hobbies in helping neighborhoods. This means that students may have to learn how to express ideas, listen to others and cooperate with others, since much team work tends to be involved in the process of doing community service. Last month, I helped plant several trees in my community, and met a retired professor who is also a volunteer. He imparted me a great deal of knowledge about trees and planting. Because of his age, I also helped him finish nearly all labor work and he was more like a director who gave me suggestions and guidance. Evidently, if rejecting community service, I would definitely lose such a precious opportunity.

　　如果單看上面這個(gè)段落，不難看出，作者思路清晰、文字流暢、論述有理有據(jù)，但是如果結(jié)合題目，其實(shí)也不難體會(huì)到，作者清晰的思路其實(shí)都用在了一個(gè)跑偏的方向上。題目問(wèn)我們“是否同意：如今的年輕人并沒(méi)有花足夠的時(shí)間做社區(qū)服務(wù)”，上文中第一句里的“disagree”告訴我們他不同意，但是讀完整個(gè)段落，你是否發(fā)現(xiàn)，他不同意的并不是題目，而是這樣一個(gè)命題，即“如今的年輕人不應(yīng)該花時(shí)間來(lái)做社區(qū)服務(wù)”，因?yàn)檎麄€(gè)段落他講的都是做社區(qū)服務(wù)的好處。

　　如果回答題目，很明顯應(yīng)該分析的是年輕人為什么已經(jīng)花了/并沒(méi)有花足夠的時(shí)間做社區(qū)服務(wù)。所以分析的角度也自然應(yīng)該從年輕人出發(fā)，比如如果同意，可能會(huì)說(shuō)現(xiàn)在年輕人太忙了，或是服務(wù)意識(shí)下降了，或是現(xiàn)在的社會(huì)足夠健全，不需要年輕人了;如果不同意可以說(shuō)現(xiàn)在的年輕人服務(wù)意識(shí)更強(qiáng)了，學(xué)校組織或公司組織的服務(wù)活動(dòng)很多，或一些民間NGO等等都讓現(xiàn)在的年輕人花了更多時(shí)間在help communities上。

　　這樣，才是正確的解題思路，而按照上文的思路，就算文字再好，邏輯再連貫，也只能接受成績(jī)不理想的后果了。這種跑題我們可以稱之為是一種宏觀的、徹頭徹尾的跑題，像踩中了地雷，還是那種一踩即爆的雷，基本后果只能是粉身碎骨。不過(guò)如果在考試之前加以足夠的練習(xí)，這種嚴(yán)重的跑題大部分同學(xué)基本都可以避免，然而接下來(lái)這種微觀的審題失誤造成文章跑題就稍顯麻煩了。

　　我們來(lái)看一下以下這道題目：

　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

　　Television, newspapers, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities.

　　以下是一位學(xué)生的作文片段，開(kāi)頭段和第一主體段(讓步段)：

　　In almost every form of media, including television, newspapers and magazines, a great deal of attention is paid to the personal lives of celebrities. It seems that the public cannot get enough of this kind of news. However, I believe that what the media should do is to protect and respect the lives of public figures rather than giving too much exposure.

　　Of course, close reports of super stars, especially news about their private lives and relationships, can satisfy fans’ curiosity and therefore promote the sales of fan magazines and other related products. Those celebrities can also achieve more affection and appear more on TV shows or entertainment news. However, the media should respect the privacy of every individual, including public figures. It is true that celebrities may have chosen to be in the public eye, but that does not give the public the right to know everything about them. Zhang Bozhi, a famous Chinese actress, has to change her dwelling places for three times to protect her sons due to the fanatical paparazzi. It is definitely understandable that a super star should have privacy and an ordinary life.

　　相信你如果只看以上兩個(gè)段落可能并不會(huì)覺(jué)得有什么問(wèn)題，但是如果我們結(jié)合起來(lái)題目，不免會(huì)產(chǎn)生一些猶疑，也就是很多學(xué)生經(jīng)常有的一種感受，叫做“怪怪的”，這樣寫得話真的對(duì)嗎?

　　我們先來(lái)分析下題目：

　　“你是否同意：電視、報(bào)紙、雜志以及其他媒體過(guò)于關(guān)注名人(比如公眾人物或者明星)的私生活了。”

　　對(duì)于這樣的問(wèn)題，我們?cè)撊绾吻蓄}得回答呢?咱們不妨來(lái)打個(gè)比方，如果你跟你的朋友抱怨“我媽最近太關(guān)注我學(xué)習(xí)了”，那么接下來(lái)你的解釋應(yīng)該選擇以下哪種思路呢?

　　1. 她老人家天天盯著我寫作業(yè)，每天檢查我做了多少道題，每周都會(huì)跟我們班主任溝通我上課的情況，導(dǎo)致我現(xiàn)在壓力非常大，每天都神經(jīng)緊繃，上課也非常緊張，怕老師跟我媽打小報(bào)告;

　　2. 我媽不應(yīng)該這么關(guān)注我學(xué)習(xí)，她這樣做導(dǎo)致我每天都神經(jīng)緊繃，上課也非常緊張，怕老師跟我媽打小報(bào)告，她也應(yīng)該關(guān)心關(guān)心我的心理狀態(tài)還有我的日常生活。

　　很明顯，第一種回答方法，是先對(duì)于“我媽關(guān)注我學(xué)習(xí)”進(jìn)行了解釋，然后又說(shuō)了下這樣的關(guān)注產(chǎn)生的后果，來(lái)說(shuō)明“已經(jīng)過(guò)頭了”，而第二種回答方式，雖然也有說(shuō)到“關(guān)注的后果”，但是重點(diǎn)則是在討論“我媽該不該這樣做，我媽應(yīng)該怎樣做才對(duì)”。雖然上面兩種回答中有相同的地方，但是出發(fā)點(diǎn)不一樣，導(dǎo)致終點(diǎn)勢(shì)必有些區(qū)別。很明顯第一種答法更符合題目要求，既回應(yīng)了“關(guān)注”又回應(yīng)了“太”。

　　類比一下上面的作文題目，如果我同意，應(yīng)該論述的是“媒體就是太關(guān)注了”，反之，應(yīng)該論述的是“媒體并沒(méi)有過(guò)分關(guān)注”，至于“媒體是否應(yīng)該關(guān)注”，這個(gè)論題并不是我們重點(diǎn)要討論的內(nèi)容，但是“媒體過(guò)分關(guān)注所產(chǎn)生的后果”可以作為一部分支持論述來(lái)支持“too much”。

　　在上文的寫作片段中，作者從開(kāi)頭段開(kāi)始就已經(jīng)走在了一條不太正確的道路上：“…a great deal of attention is paid to the personal lives of celebrities … However, I believe that what the media should do is to protect and respect the lives of public figures rather than giving too much exposure.”他用一句話回應(yīng)了題目，而立場(chǎng)則開(kāi)始帶入了明顯的評(píng)價(jià)。接下來(lái)在讓步段，前半段他說(shuō)明的是媒體這樣做的意義或產(chǎn)生的正作用，但是接下來(lái)話鋒一轉(zhuǎn)，說(shuō)媒體不該這樣做，這樣的做法其實(shí)并沒(méi)有尊重名人們的隱私，并用影星張柏芝的例子來(lái)證明，媒體這樣的報(bào)道所產(chǎn)生的問(wèn)題。如此種種，該考生已經(jīng)沉浸在自己所設(shè)定的題目中了，即討論“媒體是否應(yīng)該過(guò)分關(guān)注明星”，至于“pay attention”這個(gè)關(guān)鍵詞卻并沒(méi)有給出明確的回應(yīng)，因此即使語(yǔ)言再好，恐怕得分也不會(huì)太高。

　　那么該如何改正呢?既然題目只是問(wèn)我們一個(gè)客觀事實(shí)，那么論述的過(guò)程要么就是用事實(shí)說(shuō)話，擺事實(shí)講道理，比如記者會(huì)跟蹤、偷拍明星，并將他們的一舉一動(dòng)在第一時(shí)間發(fā)布;電視上會(huì)邀請(qǐng)明星來(lái)參加真人秀(reality shows)，甚至還會(huì)到明星家里去拍親子秀，這樣明星的整個(gè)生活都暴露在公眾視野;為了博眼球，他們甚至還會(huì)將一些信息進(jìn)行拼接來(lái)制造新聞，甚至是假新聞，然后引發(fā)公眾關(guān)注，企圖明星能更多地曝光自己的生活等等，然后再說(shuō)明這樣的關(guān)注已經(jīng)過(guò)分了。以下是一個(gè)參考主體段：

　　… I do agree that the media have laid too much emphasis on the privacy of famous people.(開(kāi)頭段)

　　Firstly, a tendency has emerged that some producers of reality TV shows are willing to allocate large amounts of money to invite celebrities and even their children or families. It is evident that viewers could have an opportunity to get access to the real life of a super star, i.e., to see what a working day or a weekend of a star is, how different a star’s growing experience is from ordinary people, or what a star will do in a relationship. These shows can thus gain its popularity and then earn more from commercials but the celebrities have lost all their privacy and their families’ lives may be bothered as well.

　　上文中從事實(shí)切入，說(shuō)了所謂“媒體關(guān)注”的方式，考生們?cè)趯懙臅r(shí)候也可以用具體的例子，接下來(lái)點(diǎn)到這對(duì)于明星來(lái)說(shuō)會(huì)產(chǎn)生的問(wèn)題，以此來(lái)回應(yīng)“too much”。當(dāng)然這不是唯一的解題思路，對(duì)于這道題我們也可以分析這個(gè)現(xiàn)象背后存在的原因，但歸根結(jié)底需要的是命題這個(gè)結(jié)論。

　　再來(lái)看一下TPO 20這道題目：

　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

　　Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well.

　　Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

　　以下是來(lái)自一位學(xué)生的開(kāi)頭段和第一個(gè)主體段：

　　Nowadays there is a controversial issue about how people achieve success. Someone holds the opinion that by trying new things and taking risks that they become successful, while others think that they already know how to do well. From my perspective, I agree that it’s the spirit of adventure that plays the most important role in being successful.

　　First of all, trying new things could bring people more creativity and inspiration. To achieve success, you must make your products or services outstanding from the competitors. How to do it? I think the key factor is to be creative. In order to be creative, people must try new things. Let us take Jobs for example. The Apple was nearly bankrupt before Steve Jobs was invited to come back. As the CEO, what Jobs had done was trying his best to make products full of creativity. Iphone is the first cellphone using the technique of multi-touch, Macbook air is thinner than any laptops. Therefore, it is creativity that brings Apple from the edge of bankruptcy to the biggest company in the world.

　　如果有關(guān)注到上文中加粗的位置，相信你心里也一定在犯嘀咕了，也許也會(huì)有一種感覺(jué)，叫做“文不對(duì)題吧”。我們還是先來(lái)翻譯一下這道題目的問(wèn)題：

　　你是否同意如下觀點(diǎn)：成功人士(往往都是)嘗試新鮮事物，而不是只做自己確定能做好的事。

　　刷過(guò)一些獨(dú)立寫作題目的考生可能會(huì)有一個(gè)思維定式，就是認(rèn)為獨(dú)立寫作基本就在考察某些事情的好與不好。很明顯上文中的同學(xué)，就把這道題想成了“如何成功”或“成功的要素”，于是他的思路就變成了“冒險(xiǎn)創(chuàng)新”跟“穩(wěn)中求進(jìn)”，哪個(gè)更能讓人成功。于是也就有了他的第一個(gè)理由：“嘗試新事物可以讓人更有創(chuàng)造力。”有同學(xué)可能會(huì)問(wèn)，這難道不對(duì)嗎?成功的人不就是這樣的嗎?問(wèn)題就在這里，我們需要論證的是，“成功的人都會(huì)嘗試新事物”，而不是“嘗試新事物使人成功”，細(xì)說(shuō)來(lái)，后者應(yīng)該是前者論題在論述中的一個(gè)部分或環(huán)節(jié)，我們最終需要證明的是一個(gè)事實(shí)，即“成功人士更愛(ài)冒險(xiǎn)嘗試新事物還是只做自己確定能做好的事”。

　　于是到這里可能有人會(huì)問(wèn)，剛剛上面的段落中不也舉了赫赫有名的喬幫主和他的蘋果帝國(guó)作例子嗎?這恰好不也從正面印證了這個(gè)事實(shí)嗎?沒(méi)錯(cuò)，如果單獨(dú)看這個(gè)例子其實(shí)并無(wú)問(wèn)題，但因?yàn)槔尤プC明的觀點(diǎn)并不是考官所問(wèn)的，所以即使例子對(duì)，也會(huì)顯得文不對(duì)題。筆者將上面的例子進(jìn)行了修正，將它們改成了相對(duì)比較正確的內(nèi)容，讀者可以參考對(duì)比：

　　Successful people have long been regarded as the role models for ordinary people and the ones many are willing to imitate. How they succeed in their fields has also been a topic of discussion among public. Although it is sometimes believed that only doing things one person is good at will make success, I still think it is trying new things that should be defined as the determining factor for success, since a diversity of examples have proven this statement.

　　First of all, the success of a great many business elites should be undoubtedly ascribed to the attempts to develop new fields. Most of them were faced with similar situations when starting their business: being negated, doubted, refused, even despised, just because things they had done were totally new and risky, not only for themselves, but for the market. The only positive side probably lies in the number of their rivals, zero. However, just by doing this, they finally exploit new opportunities, open new markets, and become the winner in the competition. Ma Yun, now the richest man in China, is a good example. After being turned down for hundreds of times, he has built his e-commercial empire all over the world, which used to be labeled as “impossible”. Steve Jobs, used to be the CEO of Apple, has been a legend and the God for billions of fans, largely due to his on-going efforts on the innovation of his products. It is not difficult to imagine that if they had only done what they know they can do well: Ma would have been teaching English in a school and Jobs perhaps a common Harvard undergraduate.