很多人是怕對方痛苦才不敢分手

A surprising new study has found that a person is more likely to stay in a relationship if they think leaving would harm their partner.

一項(xiàng)令人驚訝的新研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，如果一個(gè)人認(rèn)為分手會(huì)傷害自己的伴侶，那么他很可能會(huì)繼續(xù)維持這段感情。

Previous research has found that couples end up staying in relationships because they lack better dating options, or they feel like they've invested too much time and money into their partner to breakup.

之前的研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，情侶們會(huì)因?yàn)槿狈Ω玫募s會(huì)對象，或者他們覺得自己已經(jīng)在對方身上投入了太多的時(shí)間和金錢，從而舍不得分手，最終保持戀愛關(guān)系。

But Samantha Joel, a psychology professor at the University of Utah and author of the study, told The Post that according to her research, most people stay in relationships for selfless reasons.

但這項(xiàng)研究的作者、猶他大學(xué)的心理學(xué)教授薩曼莎·喬爾向《華盛頓郵報(bào)》透露，根據(jù)她的研究，大多數(shù)人保持戀愛關(guān)系是出于無私的原因。

"This is true even for people who weren't really committed to the relationship themselves or who were personally unsatisfied with the relationship. Generally, we don't want to hurt our partners and we care about what they want."

“這是真的，即使人們并沒有真的努力在維持這段感情，或者他們個(gè)人對這段關(guān)系不太滿意。一般來說，我們不想傷害我們的伴侶，并且總是關(guān)心他們最想要的是什么。”

 

 

Researchers interviewed 500 people who were in new relationships and were thinking about breaking up.

研究人員采訪了500名處于新戀情中但正考慮分手的人。

Over the course of two months, the participants were asked about their rationale for sticking around. The study found that people who thought their partners were highly committed were less likely to initiate a breakup.

在兩個(gè)月的時(shí)間里，研究人員詢問了參與者沒有分手的理由。研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，那些認(rèn)為對方非常忠誠的人不太可能主動(dòng)提分手。

"So those people who are concerned about their partners have a really adaptive that work inan ongoing healthy relationship, but it might also trap people who are in unhappy relationships," Joel said. "It's a double-edged sword. People are inherently pro-social, and they care about their partner's feelings."

喬爾說：“所以那些在乎伴侶的人有一種很好的適應(yīng)能力，這種適應(yīng)能力在一段健康的關(guān)系中起作用，但也會(huì)讓那些感情不好的人陷入困境。這就像是一把雙刃劍。人是天生親社會(huì)的，他們關(guān)心伴侶的感受。”

But she also questions people who stay in these types of relationships. "Who wants a partner who doesn't really want to be in the relationship?"

但她也質(zhì)疑那些保持這種關(guān)系的人。“誰想要一個(gè)心已經(jīng)不在這段感情里的伴侶?”