233.提供點食物,不要讓人難咽
提供點食物,不要讓人難咽。否則,別人會感到難受,而不是感激。有些人想幫助別人,結(jié)果卻惹人生氣,因為他們沒有想到彼此品味的不同。同一種做法,對一個人來說是恭維,對另一個人來說卻是冒犯。想要幫助他人,卻可能讓人感覺受傷。讓人惱怒比讓人高興往往要付出更大的代價:你既送了禮,又得不到感謝,因為你丟失了駕馭快樂的方向盤。如果你不知道別人的口味,就不知道怎樣取悅別人。因此,總會發(fā)生這種情況:許多人本來想贊美別人,卻被人當(dāng)成侮辱,從而反遭侮辱;還有人想通過談吐展示魅力,結(jié)果卻因為多嘴而惹人討厭。
233.Let not the proffered morsel be distasteful
Let not the proffered morsel be distasteful; otherwise it gives more discomfort than pleasure. Some displease when attempting to oblige, because they take no account of varieties of taste. What is flattery to one is an offence to another, and in attempting to be useful one may become insulting. It often costs more to displease a man than it would have cost to please him: you thereby lose both gift and thanks because you have lost the compass which steers for pleasure. If you do not know another's taste, you do not know how to please him. Thus it happens that many insult where they mean to praise, and get soundly punished, and rightly so. Others desire to charm by their conversation, and only succeed in boring by their loquacity.