《渺小一生》:“為什么裘德坐輪椅？”

　 “I don’t like using it—you know that.”

“我不喜歡用那個(gè)標(biāo)志，你知道的。”

　 “If you’re not going to use it, then what’s the point of having a car?”

“要是你不打算用，那買(mǎi)車(chē)要干嗎呢？”

　 “Jude, I think that’s a space,” said Willem, ignoring JB.

“裘德，我想那里有個(gè)位子。”威廉說(shuō)，不理杰比。

　 “Seven blocks from the apartment,” muttered JB.

“離她們的公寓有七個(gè)街區(qū)。”杰比咕噥道。

　 “Shut up, JB,” said Malcolm.

“閉嘴啦，杰比。”馬爾科姆說(shuō)。

　 Once inside the party, they were each tugged by a different person to a separate corner of the room. Willem watched as Jude was pulled firmly away by Marta: Help me, Jude mouthed to him, and he smiled and gave him a little wave. Courage, he mouthed back, and Jude rolled his eyes. He knew how much Jude hadn’t wanted to come, hadn’t wanted to explain again and again why he was in a wheelchair, and yet Willem had begged him: “Don’t make me go alone.”

進(jìn)入派對(duì)后，他們各自被不同的人拉到屋里不同的角落。威廉看著裘德被馬爾塔一手推走，幫我，裘德用嘴型無(wú)聲地跟他說(shuō)，他則微笑揮了下手。要勇敢，他也用嘴型回話，裘德翻了個(gè)白眼。他知道裘德有多么不想來(lái)，不想一再解釋他現(xiàn)在為什么坐輪椅，可是威廉一直求他“拜托不要讓我一個(gè)人去”。

　 “You won’t be alone. You’ll be with JB and Malcolm.”

“你不會(huì)落單的。還有杰比和馬爾科姆。”

　 “You know what I mean. Forty-five minutes and we’re out of there. JB and Malcolm can find their own way back to the city if they want to stay longer.”

“你明知道我的意思。只待四十五分鐘，我們就離開(kāi)。杰比和馬爾科姆如果想待久一點(diǎn)，他們可以自己想辦法回曼哈頓。”

　 “Fifteen minutes.”

“十五分鐘。”

　 “Thirty.”

“三十分鐘。”

　 “Fine.”

“好吧。”

　 Willem, meanwhile, had been ensnared by Edie Kim, who looked basically the same as she had when they were in college: a little rounder, maybe, but that was it. He hugged her. “Edie,” he said, “congratulations.”

此時(shí)，威廉被伊迪·金逮到了，她看起來(lái)還是跟大學(xué)時(shí)代差不多，或許胖了一點(diǎn)，頂多也就這樣。威廉擁抱她。“伊迪。”他說(shuō)，“恭喜了。”

　 “Thanks, Willem,” said Edie. She smiled at him. “You look great. Really, really great.” JB had always had a theory that Edie had a crush on him, but he’d never believed it. “I really loved The Lacuna Detectives. You were really great in it.”

“謝了，威廉。”伊迪說(shuō)，朝他微笑，“你看起來(lái)很不錯(cuò)，真的真的很不錯(cuò)。”杰比以前有個(gè)理論，說(shuō)伊迪暗戀他，但他從來(lái)不信。“我真的很喜歡《空隙偵探》，你在里面表現(xiàn)得太好了。”

　 “Oh,” he said. “Thanks.” He had hated The Lacuna Detectives. He had despised the production of it so much—the story, which was fantastic, had concerned a pair of metaphysical detectives who entered the unconscious minds of amnesiacs, but the director had been so tyrannical that Willem’s costar had quit two weeks into the shoot and had to be recast, and once a day, someone had run off the set crying—that he had never actually seen the film itself. “So,” he said, trying to redirect the conversation, “when—”

“啊，”他說(shuō)，“謝謝。”他痛恨《空隙偵探》。他討厭整個(gè)拍攝過(guò)程——故事是奇幻類(lèi)型，一對(duì)超自然偵探進(jìn)入了健忘癥患者無(wú)意識(shí)的心靈，但導(dǎo)演實(shí)在太專橫了，搞得跟威廉一起主演的明星拍了兩星期就辭演了，還得重新選角，而且拍片現(xiàn)場(chǎng)每天都會(huì)有人哭著跑掉 ——所以他討厭這部電影，根本沒(méi)去看。“那么，”他說(shuō)，試著轉(zhuǎn)移話題，“什么時(shí)候……”

　 “Why’s Jude in a wheelchair?” Edie asked.

“為什么裘德坐輪椅？”伊迪問(wèn)。

　 He sighed. When Jude had begun using the wheelchair regularly two months ago, the first time he’d had to in four years, since he was thirty-one, he had prepped them all on how to respond to this question. “It’s not permanent,” he said. “He just has an infection in his leg and it makes it painful for him to walk long distances.”

他嘆了口氣。從兩個(gè)月前開(kāi)始，裘德就必須經(jīng)常坐輪椅。他31歲以來(lái)，這是四年來(lái)的頭一次。之前，他曾一再訓(xùn)練他們?nèi)巳绾位卮疬@個(gè)問(wèn)題。“不是永久性的，”他說(shuō)，“他只是腿上有個(gè)傷口感染了，走路走太久就會(huì)很痛。”

　 “God, poor guy,” said Edie. “Marta says he left the U.S. Attorney’s and has a huge job at some corporate firm.” JB had also always suspected Edie had a crush on Jude, which Willem thought was fairly plausible.

“老天，真可憐。”伊迪說(shuō)，“馬爾塔說(shuō)他離開(kāi)聯(lián)邦檢察官辦公室，換了個(gè)很好的工作，在一家大型律師事務(wù)所。”杰比以前也總是懷疑伊迪暗戀裘德，威廉覺(jué)得不大可能。

　 “Yeah, for a few years now,” he said, eager to move the subject away from Jude, for whom he never liked to answer; he would have loved to talk about Jude, and he knew what he could and couldn’t say about him, or on his behalf, but he didn’t like the sly, confiding tone people took when asking about him, as if he might be cajoled or tricked into revealing what Jude himself wouldn’t. (As if he ever would.) “Anyway, Edie, this is really exciting for you.” He stopped. “I’m sorry—I should’ve asked—do you still want to be called Edie?”

“是啊，有兩三年了。”他說(shuō)，急著想把話題從裘德身上轉(zhuǎn)開(kāi)，他從不喜歡回答關(guān)于裘德的問(wèn)題；其實(shí)他很愿意談裘德，也知道什么可以說(shuō)、什么不能說(shuō)，還有可以代他回答什么，但他不喜歡別人問(wèn)到裘德時(shí)那種狡猾、機(jī)密的口吻，好像可以哄他說(shuō)出裘德自己不會(huì)講的事情。“總之，伊迪，我真是太為你高興了。”他停下來(lái)，“對(duì)不起，我早該問(wèn)的，你還是希望大家喊你伊迪嗎？”

　 Edie frowned. “Why wouldn’t I?”

伊迪皺眉：“為什么不希望？”

　 “Well—” He paused. “I didn’t know how far into the process you were, and—”

“唔……”他暫停，“我不知道你進(jìn)行到過(guò)程中的哪個(gè)部分，而且……”