高中英語作文的練習需要長期不斷的堅持,期間找準素材更能起到事半功倍的效果。以下是小編整理的高中英語作文|上大學是否必要的資料,希望對你的英語作文練習有所幫助!
As the cartoon shows, nowadays, many college graduates have low income which is as much as migrant workers[1]. Faced with the phenomenon, we can't help asking ourselves that is it necessary to go to university?[2]
Were I left to make a judgement[3], I would be in agreement with going to college, for if you want to obtain a full life, the experience in college is a part with no subtitude[4]. On the one hand, we can exercise our ability, like cooperation, communication, guidance[5], which will be late to learn after you enter the society[6]. On the other hand, high salary requires both diploma and experience, so it can account for the low income of college graduates who have little work experience. But, college graduates should be aware that they have more potential of promotion, and today's low wage won't be their final altitude of income.
In summary, I want to underline the importance of going to college again[7] and hope that graduates can look the study in college as a development of their life, not only the resort of high salary.
總評:16分. 這篇文章能表現(xiàn)出你在用詞和句法結(jié)構(gòu)上的優(yōu)勢。特別是后半部分寫的很好??墒俏覙俗⒊鰜淼?個問題嚴重影響了得分。請在下次練習時謹記我的叮囑:一定要順,一定要保證不錯。亮點不要過多追求。不然得不償失。
修改意見:
[1] 此處有三個不足,第一個是用詞"much",應該用"little",因為這里我們想說的應該是不多的工資;第二個不足是比較的對象不對。全句應該改成:many college graduates have low income which is as little as migrant workers do. 第三個就是這里句式也得繁瑣了,那個定語從句完全不需要。
更好的表述:Many college graduates earn as low salary as migrant workers do.
Many college graduates earn no more than migrant workers do.
[2] 這里你整個句式是ask sb sth. 是由動詞ask 接的兩個雙賓語。那么整個句子怎么會用到問號呢?這里說明對whether 引導的名詞性從句的功能不熟悉。
正確的表述:We can't help asking ourselves whether it is necessary to go to a university.
We can't help asking ourselves: is it necessary to go to a university?
特別強調(diào):大家千萬不要一想到鏈接主從分句就想到 that 這個詞,在分詞分句中(主語從句,表語從句,賓語從句,同位語從句)它后面跟隨的都是一個完整的陳述句。
[3] 這是個拼寫小錯誤。改成:judgment. 不熟悉的單詞大家自己要關(guān)注細節(jié)
[4] 代替,代替品,整個詞匯是:substitute。記?。汉竺媸侨齻€"t",沒有"d"【5】 這里有三個并列,在后兩個之間用"and"。改成:like cooperation, communication and guidance
[6] 這個地方你在寫的時候應該就感覺怪怪的。但是你還是堅持寫了。因為你想用個非限定性定語從句,所以給這個地方的表達帶來很大的挑戰(zhàn)。以后一定要注意,沒有把握的地方千萬不能再考試中冒險。其實你可以退一步。在which 前面用句號結(jié)束。后面寫:If we can't obtain them until we enter the society, it is certainly too late. 不就很順暢了。
如果偏要用which,我改:which are the necessary skills with which you are armed before entering the society. 但是在考試的時候你很難有時間去組織這樣的句子呢。
[7] 這個地方副詞again放在句末很不妥當。讀者會混淆這里 again 到底修飾 underline 表示“再強調(diào)”呢,還是修飾 going to college 表示“再上大學”。所以應該如下:I want to underline once again the importance of going to college. 這就很清晰:我想再一次強調(diào)上大學的重要性。
結(jié)語:你的基礎(chǔ)還是這個基礎(chǔ),如果你不要那么勉強自己,不要去犯下這些本來可以避免的錯誤。你拿到21-22分是很正常的。分得到了,腦子也沒有經(jīng)受那么大的折磨。朋友,這兩全的事你愿意嗎?
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