這不是我在胡說(shuō),有科學(xué)依據(jù)的 This is not me talking. It’s a scientific fact.
女生踢不過(guò)男生,這是事實(shí) Girls can’t beat boys. It’s as simple as that.
那好,賈斯丁,你是隊(duì)長(zhǎng) 你怎么想? OK. Justin, you’re the team captain. What do you think about it?
教練說(shuō)了算 I think the coach said it all.
昨天你說(shuō)我比你們一半的人要好 Yesterday you told me that I was better than half the guys on your team.
什么? What?
我從沒(méi)說(shuō)過(guò) I never said that.
你胡說(shuō)什么呢? 你為什么要撒謊? What are you talking about? Why are you lying?!
維奧拉!討論結(jié)束 Viola! End of discussion.
對(duì),告訴她,伙計(jì) Yeah, tell her, man.
那好,我們也結(jié)束了 Fine . End of relationship.
- 好了,我們走 - 寶貝,別這樣。我…… - Come on, let’s go. - Baby, don’t be like that. I...
我只是不想見(jiàn)你受傷害 I just don’t want to see you get hurt.
你真會(huì)扯… You are so full of...
回去訓(xùn)練 Back to practice.
賽巴斯蒂安 Sebastian.
賽巴斯蒂安?! Sebastian?!
塞巴斯蒂安!真是的! Sebastian! Jeez!
是你啊 It’s you.
要命,你和你哥背后看上去一模一樣 God, you and your brother look scary alike from the back.
看來(lái)你身材一點(diǎn)曲線都沒(méi)有 I think it’s your total lack of curves.
你好,摩妮琪 真高興見(jiàn)到你 Hi, Monique. It’s so good to see you too.
我找塞巴斯蒂安。他在哪兒? I’m looking for Sebastian. Where is he?
我不知道 I don’t know.
記得告訴你哥他能有我是多幸運(yùn) Just remind your brother how lucky he is to be in my life.
讓他打電話給我, 不然就分手,知道不? And tell him to give me a call if he wants to stay in it. OK?
好,那你的號(hào)碼是? 1-800-婊子? OK. Does he have your number? 1-800-BEYOTCH?
她會(huì)耍更多花樣的 She will do great things.
我要給你個(gè)驚喜! I have a surprise for you!
所以我才不帶朋友過(guò)來(lái) And this is why I don’t bring friends over.
媽,現(xiàn)在不行 我今天很不順,所以… Mom, not now. I had a really bad day, so...
那這正是讓你打起精神的時(shí)機(jī) This is just the thing to just perk you up.
- 等等 - 好 - Hold on. - OK.
把眼睛閉上 Keep your eyes closed.
- 閉上眼,閉緊了,閉緊了 - 閉緊了 - Eyes closed, closed, closed, closed. - They’re closed.
好了,驚喜來(lái)了! All right. Surprise!
我寶貝初次亮相的華美禮服 Beautiful gowns for my darling debutante.
媽媽,我都說(shuō)了上千遍了! Mom, have I not told you a thousand times?
我對(duì)社交亮相沒(méi)興趣 太老土了 I have no interest in being a debutante. It’s totally archaic.
我怎么會(huì)生出你這個(gè)女兒 How could I wind up with a daughter
成天就在野地里踢泥巴球 who only wants to kick a muddy ball around a field all day?
但世界回歸正軌了,媽媽 他們解散了我們隊(duì) Well, the world has been set right, Mom. They cut my team.
- 什么?不踢球了? - 是啊,沒(méi)錯(cuò)。不踢了 - What? No soccer? - Yeah, that’s right. No soccer.
- 真可惜 - 是啊,我知道你悲痛欲絕 - How sad. - Yeah, I can see you’re all torn up.
但,賈斯丁會(huì)喜歡你穿這個(gè)的 Well, Justirs gonna love you in this.
這理由也不成立了 我把他甩了 Yet another reason not to wear it. I dumped him.
- 什么?為什么? - 我不想說(shuō) - What? Why? - I don’t wanna talk about it.
他那么帥,又強(qiáng)壯 He’s so handsome and rugged
輪廓明顯又會(huì)踢球 and chiseled and great.
那你怎么不約他,老媽? Then why don’t you date him, Mom?
不,我不行 No, I couldn’t.
你還好嗎? You OK?
- 嘿,塞巴斯蒂安 - 嘿 - Hey, Sebastian. - Hey.
摩妮琪剛找你 Monique was looking for you.
你為什么會(huì)找上她做女友 Why do you even date her, anyway?
她夠辣!你不懂男人 She’s hot. It’s a guy thing.
但她真討人厭 But she’s so awful.
喂,你知道你可以用前門 Hey, you know, you could use the front door.
不能讓老媽看到我 And Mom can’t see me.
她以為我住老爸那里 老爸以為我住這里 She thinks I’m staying at Dad’s. Dad thinks I’m at Mom’s.
再過(guò)幾天,他們都以為我去學(xué)校了 In two days they both think I’m going away to school.
- 這就是離婚的好處 - 你要去哪兒? - That is the beauty of divorce. - Where are you going?
去倫敦幾個(gè)禮拜 London for a couple of weeks.
你指英格蘭的倫敦? As in London, England?
是啊,我們樂(lè)隊(duì)在音樂(lè)節(jié)里爭(zhēng)取到一個(gè)位子 Yeah, my band got a slot in a music festival there.
那學(xué)校怎么辦? OK, what are you gonna do about school?
沒(méi)錯(cuò),我也在想讓你幫幫我 Yeah, I was kind of hoping you could help me with that.
你能不能假扮成老媽 給伊利里亞打電話說(shuō)我病了 Could you just, like, pretend to be Mom, call Illyria, tell them I’m sick?
編個(gè)能讓我躺2個(gè)禮拜的病 比如像瘋牛病 Something that sounds like it would last for two weeks, like mad cow.
塞巴斯蒂安 你才因?yàn)闀缯n被康沃爾踢出來(lái) Sebastian, you just got kicked out of Cornwall for skipping.
你不要一開(kāi)學(xué)又曠! This is not exactly the way you want to start out.
上一次我聽(tīng)到的是 他們不想知道什么三角琴 Last time I heard, they don’t need to know trigonometry.
我要成為音樂(lè)家 I want to be a musician.
再說(shuō),如果你要追求夢(mèng)想 Besides, if you want to chase your dreams,
有時(shí)候就得打破成規(guī),知道嗎? sometimes you gotta break the rules, right?
你知道樂(lè)隊(duì)成名的機(jī)會(huì)有多少? You know the percentage of bands that make it to the big time?
大概和女足球隊(duì)員的機(jī)率差不多 Probably the same as female soccer players.
我們兩周后見(jiàn) I will see you in two weeks.
塞巴斯蒂安 Sebastian.
- 瑟巴斯蒂安! - 你剛在和你哥哥說(shuō)話? - Sebastian! - Were you talking with your brother?
不。是的 No. Yes.
電話里。他在老爸那兒。再見(jiàn),老爸 On the phone. He’s at Dad’s. Bye, Dad.
想象一下: Picture this:
我們?cè)卩l(xiāng)間俱樂(lè)部 We’re at the country club,
他們報(bào)道你的名字, 你穿這身出場(chǎng) they call your name, and you emerge in this.
不要,對(duì)不起,老媽。 我堅(jiān)決不穿褶皺衣服 No. Sorry, Mom. I have a strict no-ruffles policy.
有時(shí)候你和你哥真是一副德性 Sometimes I just think you just might as well be your brother.
知道嗎? You know what?
不讓加入,那就打敗他們 If you can’t join them, beat them.
你要我把你變成你哥哥? You want me to turn you into your brother?
沒(méi)錯(cuò)。 我假扮塞巴斯蒂安去伊利里亞 That’s right. I’m going to Illyria as Sebastian.
我會(huì)組建自己的足球隊(duì) 并在12天內(nèi)打敗康沃爾男隊(duì) I’ll make the boys soccer team, and in 12 days beat the Cornwall boys team.
行了,你頂球頂懷腦袋了 You’ve taken too many soccer balls to the head.