有聲英文閱讀-伊朗和美國(guó)的婚俗：一項(xiàng)對(duì)比研究
Marriage in Iran and America: A Study in Contrasts
Though marriage is practiced in almost all countries of the world, the customs are quite different from one culture to another. It is interesting for me to compare the customs of marriage in the United States with those in my country.
I've lived in the U.S. for four years now, but I'm still not comfortable with the customs here. In fact, what seems strange to me is that courting or dating is not always for the purpose of finding a husband or wife. Some people seem to do it as a hobby.
Here in the United States, I have noticed that courting is begun by the young couple themselves, and they seem to have a lot of freedom to decide and do what they want. Both young men and women date a number of different people. They do it without the knowledge or help or their parents. In fact, I have known several friends who got married without even telling their parents or other family members.
At the actual wedding ceremony, the father of the bride symbolically gives his daughter to the groom. It's only a custom, I think, because the bride and groom already know each other quit well. The bride and groom stand together in front of the religious leader or government official to be married. The official reads from a short prepared speech and then asks both the man and woman if they are willing to be married to the other. If they both say "yes," and nobody attending the wedding stands up to object, they are declared "man and wife." It is interesting that the two families are asked if there are any objections right during the ceremony. Perhaps it is because the family members are not as involved in the wedding preparations as they are in Iran.
Marriage is different in a number of ways in my country. In Iran, courting is more serious, and is performed strictly for the purpose of marriage. It is definitely not a part of the fun-filled years of growing up like it is here in America. It is the mother of the young man who initiates the process by visiting the home of a potential bride. She goes to inspect the girl, and discover the position and wealth of the girl's family. If she is pleased, then she will return another day with her son. If her son is also pleased, then the two families get together to talk about the dowry, the wedding ceremony, who they will hire to perform the marriage and other matters.
The actual marriage ceremony is quite different, however, from the American wedding ceremonies I have seen. The bride, dressed in white, with a veil over her face, sits in a room alone. She sits on a special piece of silk which is surrounded on two sides by very long pieces of flat bread. Two mullahs stand outside the door to this room reading from the Koran. Twice the bride must remain silent to the questions of the mullahs. The groom's mother then presents a gift of gold to show that her side of the family is serious. The bride then responds to the mullahs in much the same manner as do Americans when they say "I do." The groom is allowed to go into the bride's room while the mullahs take care of the official marriage papers.
One more difference between the marriage customs of the United States and my country is that the bride does not immediately go to the home of her new husband. For several months, she continues to stay at her own home preparing her dowry and receiving instructions from her mother on how to be a good wife and mother. After a few moths, the groom and his relatives come for the bride and take her to his home along with the dowry.
Though I can certainly see the advantages of the freedom that freedom that is given to American youths to choose whom they will marry and when, I think I still prefer the customs of my home country. I suppose that's be cause there is not so much guessing and uncertainty.
伊朗和美國(guó)的婚俗：一項(xiàng)對(duì)比研究
雖然幾乎全世界所有國(guó)家的人民習(xí)慣上都操辦婚事，但結(jié)婚的風(fēng)俗具有某一種文化觀念的國(guó)家同另外一些文化觀念的國(guó)家卻完全不同。讓我來(lái)比較一下美國(guó)的婚俗跟我的祖國(guó)伊朗的婚俗是很有趣的。
雖然到現(xiàn)在為止我已經(jīng)在美國(guó)生活四年了，但我對(duì)這里的風(fēng)俗仍然感到不習(xí)慣。事實(shí)上，令我感到不可思議的事情就是在美國(guó)求愛(ài)和約會(huì)異性的目的并不總是為了要找到丈夫或老婆。我覺(jué)得有些美國(guó)人把求愛(ài)和約會(huì)異性當(dāng)成了一種嗜好。
在美國(guó)，談戀愛(ài)是由一對(duì)一對(duì)的年青人自由自主開(kāi)始進(jìn)行的。我的思想上覺(jué)得美國(guó)青年人在決定或者做他們想做的事情方面有很大的自由。青年男女雙方都跟為數(shù)眾多的異性約會(huì)過(guò)。他們跟異性約會(huì)時(shí)，他們的父母連知道都不知道，也插不上手來(lái)幫幫忙。事實(shí)上，有認(rèn)識(shí)好幾個(gè)美國(guó)朋友，他們?cè)诮Y(jié)婚時(shí)，甚至連自己的父母或家中其他的人都沒(méi)有告訴。
在真正舉行婚禮時(shí)，新娘的父親才象征性地做做樣子把他的女兒交給新郎。我認(rèn)為，這樣做只是按風(fēng)俗習(xí)慣辦事而已，因?yàn)樾履锖托吕苫ハ嚅g早已經(jīng)很了解了。新娘和新郎一起站在宗教領(lǐng)袖或政府官員面前被宣布正式結(jié)婚。這位政府官員在宣讀了一篇現(xiàn)成的簡(jiǎn)短演講詞以后就會(huì)問(wèn)當(dāng)事人的男女雙方，他們是否愿意同對(duì)方成親。如果他們二人都回答"愿意"，然后參加婚禮的人中又沒(méi)有人站起來(lái)反對(duì)他們結(jié)婚，那么他們就被宣布為"正式夫妻"了。就在舉行婚禮的過(guò)程中，要征詢(xún)雙方的家人，有沒(méi)有反對(duì)這兩人結(jié)婚的意見(jiàn)，這實(shí)在太滑稽有趣了。也許這樣做是因?yàn)檫@兩家的家庭成員都不像在我們伊朗那樣要參與婚禮的籌備工作的緣故吧。
操辦婚事在我的祖國(guó)有很多做法都是跟美國(guó)不同的。在伊朗，提親要更加嚴(yán)肅。提親的目的很?chē)?yán)格就是要成親結(jié)婚。絕對(duì)不像美國(guó)這里，提親談情說(shuō)愛(ài)成了成年以后玩樂(lè)年代生活的一部分。正是那位男青年的母親前去拜訪準(zhǔn)新娘的家，由這就開(kāi)始了談婚論嫁的全過(guò)程。她去相看一下那位姑娘，并且還要查看姑娘家的地位權(quán)勢(shì)和家庭財(cái)產(chǎn)。如果她對(duì)這件事滿意了，那么改天她會(huì)帶上她兒子再來(lái)。如果她兒子對(duì)這檔婚事也滿意，那么這兩家人就聚集到一起來(lái)談嫁妝問(wèn)題，談婚禮問(wèn)題。談他們將聘請(qǐng)誰(shuí)來(lái)?yè)?dān)任結(jié)婚典禮的司儀，還談其他別的一些事情。
但，真正的伊朗人的結(jié)婚典禮跟我所見(jiàn)過(guò)的幾次美國(guó)人的婚禮就完全不同了。新娘身穿一身白色，臉上罩著面紗，一個(gè)人獨(dú)自坐在一個(gè)房間里。她坐在一塊特制的絲綢上面，絲綢的兩邊圍著很長(zhǎng)的扁平的面包。兩位毛拉站在新娘獨(dú)坐的那間房子的門(mén)外朗育《古蘭經(jīng)》。新娘必須對(duì)毛拉頭兩次提出的問(wèn)題保持沉默。這時(shí)新郎的母親要贈(zèng)給新娘一件金制的禮品以表明她家這一方是嚴(yán)肅誠(chéng)懇的。然后新娘這才回答毛拉的提問(wèn)，有和美國(guó)新娘一樣的方式回答說(shuō)："我愿意嫁給他。"在毛拉負(fù)責(zé)驗(yàn)證官方頒發(fā)的結(jié)婚證之后，這才允許新郎進(jìn)入新娘的房間。
我的祖國(guó)與美國(guó)在婚俗上還有一點(diǎn)不同，那就是新娘并不立即就到她的新婚的丈夫家去?；槎Y以后的最初幾個(gè)月，她要繼續(xù)住在自己的娘家，以便準(zhǔn)備嫁妝，以便接受母親關(guān)于怎樣做一個(gè)賢妻良母的培訓(xùn)和教誨。過(guò)了兩三個(gè)月以后，新娘及他的親屬們前來(lái)接新娘，把她和她的嫁妝一起帶回丈夫家。
盡管我肯定能看到給予美國(guó)年青人以選擇同誰(shuí)結(jié)婚和什么時(shí)候結(jié)婚的自由，這的確有一些好處；但是，我想我還是寧愿采取我的祖國(guó)的婚姻習(xí)俗。我想，這可能是因?yàn)橐晾嗜说淖龇](méi)有那么多猜測(cè)和不知根不知底細(xì)的因素。
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