10個詞語分分鐘暴露你不自信

972

That's the total number of e-mails I received just in May, and it's about my average. That's not counting the hundreds and hundreds of messages Gmail dumped into categories for promotional mail, forum posts, and social networking updates. I've become proficient at jumping through messages quickly, but there's one thing I've mastered even more than that: spotting a lack of confidence.

這是僅五月份一個月我收到的郵件總數(shù)，這也是我的平均值。其中不包括被谷歌郵箱分類的數(shù)以千計的廣告郵件，論壇帖子和社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)更新。我已經(jīng)變得非常善于在郵件之間快速切換，但我掌握的另一項能力更加重要：識別不自信。

I also take quite a few cold calls--people who are not really sure what I do and have not really done too much research but have me on a phone list for some reason.

我也會接到一些推銷電話—那些人既不確定我的職業(yè)，也沒有做很多調(diào)查工作，但會因為某種原因把我放在通訊錄中。

In most cases, it's a pitch about a product or someone asking a question about marketing to journalists. He or she might say he or she "usually" does something. In a few cases, it's someone with a business idea he or she "suspects" will be perfect. Most of the time, these messages are straightforward--the sender isn't messing around. But a few seem hesitant. I fire back a question, and the response makes me question the person's authority on the subject.

大多數(shù)情況下是關(guān)于產(chǎn)品推銷或是向記者問做市場推廣的問題。他們可能會說他或她“通常”做某事。少數(shù)情況下，某個人有一個他或她“猜想”會是完美的商業(yè)理念。大多數(shù)時候，這些信息是直接的—發(fā)件人不是在搗亂。但有時候感覺很猶豫。我反問一個問題，回復(fù)會讓我質(zhì)疑他在這個話題上的權(quán)威性。

These words are not always triggers about confidence level, but they are my first signal that something is amiss. They make me think the sender is not that sure about the product or service. And they are dead giveaways that I need to question what the person says.

這些詞不一定都能提升自信，但他們是我感覺哪里有問題的第一信號。他們讓我覺得發(fā)件人對產(chǎn)品和服務(wù)并不確信。而且他們暴我需要問他說的什么。

1. Might

Be careful when you tell people you "might" do something. Are you sure about that? No one is asking you to solve world peace. When you say you "might" finish a report, it implies you lack some ability, don't manage your time well, or have too many priorities.

當你告訴別人“可能”做某事時要小心。你真的確定嗎?沒有人讓你去維護世界和平。當你說你“可能”完成了一份報告，這就意味著你能力不足，不能有效地管理時間，或者有過多要處理的事情。

2. Won't

Here's an obvious word to avoid in your emails. Anyone who says he or she "won't" do something or "won't" attend a meeting is generating a negative vibe. Be more decisive: Either accept an invitation or reject it; using the word won't suggests hesitancy.

很顯然要在郵件中避免使用這個詞。那些說他或她“不會”做某事或“不會”參加會議的人是在制造一種消極的氛圍。要更堅定一些：要么接受邀請要么拒絕;用這個詞代表猶豫不決。

3. Usually

This is a trigger word in email that makes it obvious to everyone that you don't have all the facts. If you say the accounting department "usually" doesn't approve your expense report or the boss is "usually" late to work, it means you're stretching the truth.

這個詞在郵件中會讓每個人認為你沒有掌握所有實際情況。如果你說財務(wù)部門“通常”不會通過你的支出報告或者老板“通常”上班遲到，這說明你在夸大事實。

4. Suspect

Unless you are talking about a suspect in a trial, avoid saying you "suspect" anything. You're not Sherlock Holmes. Just use direct terms: You know an investor is pulling out of the project, and here's why; or you have facts to support your conclusion on a new marketing plan.

除非你在討論一個審判中的嫌疑人，否則不要說你“懷疑”某事。你不是福爾摩斯。就用那些直接的措辭：你知道投資者在退出項目，然后這里是原因;或者你有證據(jù)支撐你對一項新市場計劃的結(jié)論。

5. Impossible

I'll bet Mark Zuckerberg has never used the word impossible in an email. The recipient will lose confidence in you quickly. State why something might be hard or difficult or just don't agree to a course of action. Don't bother telling people it's impossible.

我敢肯定馬克·扎克伯格從來沒在郵件中使用過“不可能”這個詞。收件人會立即對你失去信心。陳述一件事為什么可能會很辛苦或困難，或者直接不同意某種做法。不要浪費時間告訴別人它是不可能的。

6. Worried

We all worry about the stresses of life. Telling people you are worried by email makes it seem as if you lack confidence in your abilities. If you are worried, don't bother saying that to anyone--just express what you are concerned about and offer solutions.

我們都擔心生活中的壓力。如果在郵件里表明你很焦慮，就相當于表明你似乎對自己的能力缺乏自信。如果你感到擔憂，不需要告訴任何人—只需要表達你擔心什么，并提出解決措施。

7. Confused

Expressing your confusion will create even more confusion. It's better to just say what you are confused about and ask questions. Saying you are "confused" gives people the impression that either you don't understand something or that the topic is confusing to you.

表露你的困惑會產(chǎn)生更多的困惑。更好的做法是說出你困惑然后提出問題。表達你很“困惑”給別人留下的印象是：有些事你不明白，或者這個話題使你迷惑。

8. Need

We all have needs in life. When you express those needs by email over and over again, it makes you look needy. I "need" you to come to work early, I "need" you to get that report done. Avoid saying "need" and express requirements more directly.

我們在生活中都有需求。當你重復(fù)在郵件中表達這些需求的時候，會使你看起來很需要幫助。我“需要”你早點來上班，我“需要”你完成這份報告。不要說“需要”，而是更直接地表達要求。

9. Quandary

Have you sent a message and said you were in a "quandary"? You should know that the word means you are in a total state of perplexity. I mean, you are really perplexed. That's not often the case when it comes to a new business proposal or fundraising round.

你是否在郵件中說過自己’左右為難’?你應(yīng)該知道這個詞意味著你在一種完全困惑的狀態(tài)。對，你真的不知所措。但在一份新的商業(yè)提案或融資過程中通常不是這種情況。

10. Likely

Few of us are in the business of predicting the future. If you say something is "likely" in an email, you are expressing to the recipient that you are not really sure about the topic, and you don't have all the facts yet. It's likely that you just lack confidence.

幾乎沒有人做的事預(yù)測未來的工作。如果你在郵件中說一件事“挺有可能的”，你就是在向收件人表達你對這個話題并不確定，而且你還沒有掌握所有情況。你可能只是缺乏自信。