布蘭妮說在她13年的演藝生涯中，以為她的家人要殺她:“我沒有看到出路”

Britney Spears has revealed that she felt like her family was trying to kill her throughout her 13-year conservatorship.

布蘭妮·斯皮爾斯透露，在她13年的演藝生涯中，她覺得她的家人試圖殺死她。

In a new excerpt of her memoir, The Woman in Me, obtained by Time, the pop icon admitted that she was restrained by her family and taken to the hospital following a 2008 incident where she locked herself in a bathroom with her son, Jayden, because she was worried she’d never see her boys again. After that, her father, Jamie Spears, filed the papers to enter her into her conservatorship.

在《時代》雜志獲得的她的回憶錄The Woman In Me的一段新摘錄中，這位流行偶像承認，2008年的一次事件發(fā)生后，她和兒子杰登把自己鎖在浴室里，因為她擔心再也見不到她的兒子們了。她被家人控制住并被送往醫(yī)院。在那之后，她的父親杰米·斯皮爾斯提交了文件，讓她接受監(jiān)護權。

“At various times I pushed back, especially when my father took away access to my cell phone,” she wrote in the book. “I would be smuggled a private phone and try to break free. But they always caught me.”

她在書中寫道:“有好幾次我都在反抗，尤其是當我父親不讓我用手機的時候。”“我會被偷運一部私人電話，試圖逃脫。但他們總是抓住我。”

She continued, “And here’s the sad, honest truth: After everything I had been through, I didn’t have a lot of fight left in me. I was tired, and I was scared, too. After being held down on a gurney, I knew they could restrain my body any time they wanted to. They could’ve tried to kill me, I thought. I started to wonder if they did want to kill me.”

她繼續(xù)說道:“這是一個悲傷而誠實的事實:在我經歷了這一切之后，我已經沒有多少斗志了。我很累，也很害怕。在被按在輪床上之后，我知道他們可以隨時控制我的身體。我想他們可能想殺了我。我開始懷疑他們是不是真的想殺我。”

When her father took control of her life, she explained that she felt her spirit retreat from her body, causing her to go on autopilot and hoping that if she played along, they would let her live her life how she wanted to. “I didn’t see a way out,” she wrote.

當她的父親控制了她的生活時，她解釋說，她感到她的靈魂從她的身體中撤退，導致她開始自動駕駛，并希望如果她配合，他們會讓她過她想要的生活。“我看不到出路，”她寫道。

A decade later, Spears again felt like her life was in jeopardy when Jamie Spears forced her to check into a Beverly Hills rehab program and told her if she didn’t cooperate he would take her to court and make her “look like a fucking idiot.” She went to rehab, and when she reached out to her sister, Jamie Lynn Spears, for help, the Zoey 101 star allegedly texted back, “Stop fighting it.”

十年后，布蘭妮再次感到自己的生命處于危險之中，因為杰米·斯皮爾斯強迫她進入比佛利山莊的康復計劃，并告訴她如果她不合作，他就把她告上法庭，讓她“看起來像個白癡”。她去了戒毒所，當她向她的妹妹杰米·林恩·斯皮爾斯尋求幫助時，據說這位《佐伊101》的明星回了一條短信，“別再反抗了。”

“Along with the rest of them, she kept acting like I was a threat in some way,” Spears added. “This will sound crazy, but I’ll say it again because it’s the truth: I thought they were going to try to kill me.”

“她和其他人一樣，在某種程度上一直把我當作威脅，”斯皮爾斯補充道。“這聽起來很瘋狂，但我要再說一遍，因為這是事實:我以為他們要殺我。”

After months in rehab, Spears shared that she returned home and her family insisted on being around her. She explained that she was a shell of a human and still on lithium, which made things hazy.

在接受了幾個月的康復治療后，布蘭妮說她回到了家，她的家人堅持要陪在她身邊。她解釋說，她只是一個人的軀殼，還在服用鋰，這讓事情變得模糊。

“It crossed my mind that they were only visiting to finish off what they’d started a few months earlier, to kill me for real,” she wrote. “If that sounds paranoid, consider all the things I’d been through up until this point — the ways in which they had deceived and institutionalized me.”

“我突然想到，他們只是來完成幾個月前開始的事情，真的要殺了我，”她寫道。“如果這聽起來很偏執(zhí)，想想我在這之前所經歷的一切——他們欺騙我和把我收容起來的方式。”

In other excerpts of the memoir published in the week leading up to its official release, Spears has revealed that she had an abortion while she was with Justin Timberlake and how her interview with Diane Sawyer following her breakup with the NSYNC frontman was a “breaking point” for her.

在正式出版前一周出版的回憶錄的其他片段中，斯皮爾斯透露，她和賈斯汀·汀布萊克在一起時墮胎了，她和超級男孩主唱分手后接受黛安·索耶的采訪是她的“崩潰點”。