TED演講：如何做到工作與生活的完美平衡

　　工作與生活的平衡因其重要性而決不能置之他人之手，比如你的雇主。在悉尼的TED大會上，馬什勾勒出一幅美好圖景：完美的一天建立在與家人相處，個人發(fā)展以及工作三者之間的平衡之上;進而他鼓勵人們讓這一理想變?yōu)楝F(xiàn)實。

　　演講稿：

　　What I thought I would do is I would start with a simple request. I'd like all of you to pause for a moment, you wretched weaklings, and take stock of your miserable existence. (Laughter)

　　我原本想 以一個簡單的請求開場。 我請求在座的各位 思考片刻， 你們這群可悲的懦夫， 捫心自問，審視一下自身可憐的存在。 (笑聲)

　　Now that was the advice that St. Benedict gave his rather startled followers in the fifth century. It was the advice that I decided to follow myself when I turned 40. Up until that moment, I had been that classic corporate warrior -- I was eating too much, I was drinking too much, I was working too hard and I was neglecting the family. And I decided that I would try and turn my life around. In particular, I decided I would try to address the thorny issue of work-life balance. So I stepped back from the workforce, and I spent a year at home with my wife and four young children. But all I learned about work-life balance from that year was that I found it quite easy to balance work and life when I didn't have any work. (Laughter) Not a very useful skill, especially when the money runs out.

　　其實這正是 5世紀時圣本篤給信眾的建議， 可以想見，當時他們必定相當驚詫。 而在我40歲的時候 我也決定采納并實施這個建議。 在那之前，我絕對是個典型的業(yè)務精英—— 我吃的太多，喝得太多， 工作太努力， 我忽視了自己的家庭。 于是我決定 試著改變我的生活。 而且我決定 我要嘗試處理一個棘手的問題： 即工作與生活的平衡。 于是我遞交辭呈， 賦閑在家， 與妻子和四個兒子相處了一年。 但是在那一年中 關(guān)于工作與生活平衡這個問題，我唯一的收獲是： 如果我不工作， 這個問題 就會迎刃而解。 (笑聲) 這的確不怎么管用， 尤其是缺錢的時候。

　　So I went back to work, and I've spent these seven years since struggling with, studying and writing about work-life balance. And I have four observations I'd like to share with you today. The first is: if society's to make any progress on this issue, we need an honest debate. But the trouble is so many people talk so much rubbish about work-life balance. All the discussions about flexi-time or dress-down Fridays or paternity leave only serve to mask the core issue, which is that certain job and career choices are fundamentally incompatible with being meaningfully engaged on a day-to-day basis with a young family. Now the first step in solving any problem is acknowledging the reality of the situation you're in. And the reality of the society that we're in is there are thousands and thousands of people out there leading lives of quiet, screaming desperation, where they work long, hard hours at jobs they hate to enable them to buy things they don't need to impress people they don't like. (Laughter) (Applause) It's my contention that going to work on Friday in jeans and [a] T-shirt isn't really getting to the nub of the issue.

　　所以我回到工作崗位， 七年以來 我的掙扎，學習 與寫作都圍繞著工作與生活的平衡這個主題。 今天我想跟各位分享 四點心得。 第一， 如果在這一問題上想要獲得實質(zhì)性的進展， 那么我們需要一個誠懇的探討。 但問題是 在這一問題上， 人們大多沉浸在毫無意義的爭論之中。 無論是彈性時間 還是星期五的休閑裝政策 亦或是育兒假， 這些都只是進一步掩蓋了核心問題， 即 某些職業(yè)和某些職業(yè)選擇 從根本上講就與 每天與自己的家庭 親密相處 這一生活方式水火不容。 要解決任何問題， 都必須首先認清自己所處的境況。 而現(xiàn)實社會中的情況是 成千上萬的 人們 都在無聲的絕望中煎熬。 他們夜以繼日的 從事他們痛恨的職業(yè) 目的只是為了購買無用的商品 以博得無關(guān)痛癢的鄰人的艷羨。 (笑聲) (掌聲) 我的觀點是，星期五穿牛仔體恤 并不能解決關(guān)鍵問題。

　　(Laughter)

　　(笑聲)

　　The second observation I'd like to make is we need to face the truth that governments and corporations aren't going to solve this issue for us. We should stop looking outside. It's up to us as individuals to take control and responsibility for the type of lives that we want to lead. If you don't design your life, someone else will design it for you, and you may just not like their idea of balance. It's particularly important -- this isn't on the World Wide Web, is it? I'm about to get fired -- it's particularly important that you never put the quality of your life in the hands of a commercial corporation. Now I'm not talking here just about the bad companies -- the "abattoirs of the human soul," as I call them. (Laughter) I'm talking about all companies. Because commercial companies are inherently designed to get as much out of you [as] they can get away with. It's in their nature; it's in their DNA; it's what they do -- even the good, well-intentioned companies. On the one hand, putting childcare facilities in the workplace is wonderful and enlightened. On the other hand, it's a nightmare -- it just means you spend more time at the bloody office. We have to be responsible for setting and enforcing the boundaries that we want in our life.

　　我想分享的第二點心得是 我們必須面對現(xiàn)實： 政府和公司 不會為我們解決這一問題。 我們不能再尋找外援， 而應該作為個人 承擔起掌控 自己生活軌跡的重任。 如果你不規(guī)劃自己的生活， 那么別人就會為你規(guī)劃， 而他們對于平衡的處理 你往往并不認同。 最重要的是—— 這東西不會傳到互聯(lián)網(wǎng)上吧，要不然我可要被解雇了—— 最重要的是 你絕不能讓商業(yè)公司 來掌控你生活的質(zhì)量。 我指的并不僅僅是那些糟糕的公司—— 我把那些公司叫做人類靈魂的屠宰場。 (笑聲) 我指的是所有的公司。 因為商業(yè)公司 本質(zhì)上就是為了 盡可能多的榨取你的價值 而同時盡量逃避責任。 這是深植于商業(yè)公司之中的基因。 它們以此立足—— 包括那些好的，有善心的公司。 一方面， 在工作場所開辦兒童保育中心 是個很妙的，具有啟發(fā)性的好主意。 另一方面，這同時是個噩夢; 因為這意味著你得在萬惡的辦公室里耗上更多時間。 我們自己得擔起責任 去設(shè)定并強化 我們生活中的各種界限。

　　The third observation is we have to be careful with the time frame that we choose upon which to judge our balance. Before I went back to work after my year at home, I sat down and I wrote out a detailed, step-by-step description of the ideal balanced day that I aspired to. And it went like this: wake up well rested after a good night's sleep. Have sex. Walk the dog. Have breakfast with my wife and children. Have sex again. (Laughter) Drive the kids to school on the way to the office. Do three hours' work. Play a sport with a friend at lunchtime. Do another three hours' work. Meet some mates in the pub for an early evening drink. Drive home for dinner with my wife and kids. Meditate for half an hour. Have sex. Walk the dog. Have sex again. Go to bed. (Applause) How often do you think I have that day? (Laughter) We need to be realistic. You can't do it all in one day. We need to elongate the time frame upon which we judge the balance in our life, but we need to elongate it without falling into the trap of the "I'll have a life when I retire, when my kids have left home, when my wife has divorced me, my health is failing, I've got no mates or interests left." (Laughter) A day is too short; "after I retire" is too long. There's got to be a middle way.

　　第三點是 我們得好好考慮 以什么樣的時間單位 來衡量我們試圖實現(xiàn)的平衡。 在一年賦閑時 就在我回到工作崗位之前， 我坐下來 細細地 一步一步地勾勒了一幅 我向往的完美一天的 理想藍圖。 具體如下： 充足的睡眠之后， 精神抖擻的醒來。 做愛。 遛狗。 與妻兒共進早餐。 做愛。 (笑聲) 上班的途中送孩子去學校。 工作三小時。 午休時和朋友玩玩體育。 再工作三小時。 下午和老伙計們在酒吧喝兩杯。 回家， 與妻兒共進晚餐。 花半個小時靜修思考。 做愛。 遛狗。做愛。 上床睡覺。 (掌聲) 你覺得我多久能享受如此的一天? (笑聲) 我們當然要實際一些。 你不可能在一天內(nèi)實現(xiàn)這一切。 我們得把時間單位拉長 來衡量我們期望的平衡， 但是這一拉長也不是沒有限度的 比如，你最好別說： “我會享受生活的，當我退休了， 當子女也都獨立， 當妻子已棄我而去，當我的身體大不如前， 當我已沒有朋友，也沒有任何興趣愛好。” (笑聲) 一天太短，退休又太長。 肯定會有折中的辦法。

　　A fourth observation: We need to approach balance in a balanced way. A friend came to see me last year -- and she doesn't mind me telling this story -- a friend came to see me last year and said, "Nigel, I've read your book. And I realize that my life is completely out of balance. It's totally dominated by work. I work 10 hours a day; I commute two hours a day. All of my relationships have failed. There's nothing in my life apart from my work. So I've decided to get a grip and sort it out. So I joined a gym." (Laughter) Now I don't mean to mock, but being a fit 10-hour-a-day office rat isn't more balanced; it's more fit. (Laughter) Lovely though physical exercise may be, there are other parts to life -- there's the intellectual side; there's the emotional side; there's the spiritual side. And to be balanced, I believe we have to attend to all of those areas -- not just do 50 stomach crunches.

　　第四點心得： 要實現(xiàn)平衡， 我們得采取“平衡”的辦法。 去年我有個朋友來找我—— 她不介意我公開這個故事——去年她來我這兒， 她說：“奈吉爾，我看了你的書。 我意識到我的生活完全沒有平衡可言。 它完全被無休止的工作占據(jù)。 我每天工作10小時，路上就要花2小時。 我的人際關(guān)系總是失敗。 在我生活中 除了工作，沒有別的。 所以我決定得振作起來改觀我的生活。 于是我加入了健身俱樂部。” (笑聲) 我不是要嘲笑她， 但是一個“健康”的每天工作10小時的辦公室職員 并不會讓她更“平衡”，而只能更“健康”。 (笑聲) 健身運動的確是不錯， 但生活的含義其實很豐富。 知性生活，情感生活， 精神生活。 如果想達到平衡， 我覺得我們得 關(guān)照以上的各個方面—— 僅僅50個仰臥起坐是不夠的。

　　Now that can be daunting. Because people say, "Bloody hell mate, I haven't got time to get fit. You want me to go to church and call my mother." And I understand. I truly understand how that can be daunting. But an incident that happened a couple of years ago gave me a new perspective. My wife, who is somewhere in the audience today, called me up at the office and said, "Nigel, you need to pick our youngest son" -- Harry -- "up from school." Because she had to be somewhere else with the other three children for that evening. So I left work an hour early that afternoon and picked Harry up at the school gates. We walked down to the local park, messed around on the swings, played some silly games. I then walked him up the hill to the local cafe, and we shared a pizza for two, then walked down the hill to our home, and I gave him his bath and put him in his Batman pajamas. I then read him a chapter of Roald Dahl's "James and the Giant Peach." I then put him to bed, tucked him in, gave him a kiss on his forehead and said, "Goodnight, mate," and walked out of his bedroom. As I was walking out of his bedroom, he said, "Dad?" I went, "Yes, mate?" He went, "Dad, this has been the best day of my life, ever." I hadn't done anything, hadn't taken him to Disney World or bought him a Playstation.

　　這可能看起來相當艱巨。 人們會說：“拜托伙計，我連鍛煉的時間都沒有， 你卻要我去教堂、給老媽打電話。” 我很理解。 我真的很理解，對人們來說這的確挺艱巨。 但兩年前有件小事 卻給了我一個嶄新的視角。 我妻子就坐在下面 一天她給我的辦公室打電話說 “奈吉爾，你得去學校 接我們的小兒子哈里。” 因為那天晚上她和其他三個孩子在一起。 于是那天下午我提前一小時下班 在校門口接到哈里。 我們?nèi)チ斯珗@， 在秋千上鬧了一陣，做了些傻傻的游戲。 然后我?guī)狭艘蛔∩降搅水數(shù)氐囊患铱Х瑞^， 我們點了茶和比薩， 吃完就下山回家， 我給他洗了個澡， 給他穿上蝙蝠俠睡衣。 然后我給他讀了一章 Roald Dahl的《詹姆斯與飛天巨桃》。 然后我鋪好床，安頓好他， 吻了他的額頭，說了聲“晚安，伙計。” 然后走出他的臥室。 正當我走到門口的時候， 他叫了聲老爸。“什么事，伙計?” 他說，“老爸，這是我一生中 最棒的一天，最棒的。” 其實我什么也沒做。 我沒帶他去迪斯尼樂園，也沒給他買游戲機。

　　Now my point is the small things matter. Being more balanced doesn't mean dramatic upheaval in your life. With the smallest investment in the right places, you can radically transform the quality of your relationships and the quality of your life. Moreover, I think, it can transform society. Because if enough people do it, we can change society's definition of success away from the moronically simplistic notion that the person with the most money when he dies wins, to a more thoughtful and balanced definition of what a life well lived looks like. And that, I think, is an idea worth spreading.

　　我想說的是， 小事并非無關(guān)緊要。 在生活中實現(xiàn)平衡 并不意味著你要大張旗鼓的顛覆你的生活。 在適當?shù)牡胤?做些小小的投資， 你就能極大地改善你的人際關(guān)系 和生活質(zhì)量。 不僅如此，我認為 這還能改變整個社會。 因為，如果很多人都如此生活， 那么我們就可以重新對社會上的所謂“成功”進行定義： 成功不再是以死后財產(chǎn)的多少 來愚蠢地衡量; 成功應該有一個更具平衡性和思想性的定義， 即一個美好的生活的實現(xiàn)。 我認為 這的確是一個值得與眾人分享的點子。

　　(Applause)

　　(掌聲)