TED演講：你確定自己是“人”嗎？

　　0:11 (Music) This is the human test, a test to see if you are a human. Please raise your hand if something applies to you. Are we agreed? Yes? Then let's begin.

　　0:11 (音樂)這是個(gè)人類測(cè)試， 測(cè)試你是否為人。 如果這些事曾發(fā)生在你身上請(qǐng)舉手。 同意嗎?好。 我們開始吧。

　　0:28 Have you ever eaten a booger long past your childhood? (Laughter) It's okay, it's safe here.

　　0:28 你是否曾吃過鼻屎， 而且是在長(zhǎng)大之后? (笑聲) 沒關(guān)系，我們不會(huì)說出去.

　　0:39 Have you ever made a small, weird sound when you remembered something embarrassing?

　　0:39 你是否曾經(jīng)在想起尷尬時(shí)刻時(shí) 發(fā)出微小的怪聲?

　　0:48 Have you ever purposely lowercased the first letter of a text in order to come across as sad or disappointed? (Laughter) Okay.

　　0:48 你是否曾經(jīng)故意 將英文首字小寫 以表示傷心或失望? (笑聲) 好的。

　　1:01 Have you ever ended a text with a period as a sign of aggression? Okay. Period.

　　1:01 你是否曾在句末加上句點(diǎn)， 以表示不爽?好。句點(diǎn)。

　　1:10 Have you ever laughed or smiled when someone said something shitty to you and then spent the rest of the day wondering why you reacted that way? Yes.

　　1:10 你是否曾大笑或微笑 應(yīng)對(duì)別人對(duì)你說的垃圾話 然后花一整天的時(shí)間 都在想你為什么會(huì)做出那種反應(yīng)。 有。

　　1:23 Have you ever seemed to lose your airplane ticket a thousand times as you walked from the check-in to the gate? Yes.

　　1:23 你是否曾把飛機(jī)票弄丟 好幾百遍， 就在你從柜臺(tái)走到機(jī)門這段路上。 有的。

　　1:33 Have you ever put on a pair of pants and then much later realized that there was a loose sock smushed up against your thigh? (Laughter) Good.

　　1:33 你是否曾穿上長(zhǎng)褲 許久后才發(fā)現(xiàn) 大腿處卡了只襪子? (笑聲) 很好。

　　1:44 Have you ever tried to guess someone else's password so many times that it locked their account? Mmm.

　　1:44 你是否試圖猜測(cè)某人的密碼 卻多次猜錯(cuò)導(dǎo)致那賬號(hào)被鎖? 嗯。

　　1:53 Have you ever had a nagging feeling that one day you will be discovered as a fraud? Yes, it's safe here.

　　1:53 你是否有種不安感 怕有天會(huì)被發(fā)現(xiàn)自己很虛假? 沒關(guān)系，這里很安全。

　　2:04 Have you ever hoped that there was some ability you hadn't discovered yet that you were just naturally great at? Mmm.

　　2:04 你是否曾希望自己有某些能力， 雖然未被發(fā)掘， 但你在那方面就是天賦異稟? 嗯。

　　2:14 Have you ever broken something in real life, and then found yourself looking for an "undo" button in real life?

　　2:14 你是否曾在現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中搞壞某樣?xùn)|西 然后發(fā)現(xiàn)自己 在現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中找尋復(fù)原鍵?

　　2:24 Have you ever misplaced your TED badge and then immediately started imagining what a three-day Vancouver vacation might look like?

　　2:24 你是否曾把 TED 名牌搞丟 然后開始想象 這三天可以到會(huì)場(chǎng)外的溫哥華市區(qū)逛逛?

　　2:34 Have you ever marveled at how someone you thought was so ordinary could suddenly become so beautiful?

　　2:34 你是否曾感到驚艷， 怎么你一直認(rèn)為很平凡的人 突然間變得這么美麗?

　　2:43 Have you ever stared at your phone smiling like an idiot while texting with someone? Have you ever subsequently texted that person the phrase "I'm staring at the phone smiling like an idiot"?

　　2:43 你是否曾盯著手機(jī) 邊傳簡(jiǎn)訊邊笑得跟傻子一樣? 你是否曾接著傳簡(jiǎn)訊給那人， 告訴他：「我正盯著手機(jī)， 笑得跟傻子一樣?」

　　3:00 Have you ever been tempted to, and then gave in to the temptation, of looking through someone else's phone?

　　3:00 你是否曾經(jīng)非常非常想， 想到實(shí)在忍不住， 就偷看了別人的手機(jī)?

　　3:08 Have you ever had a conversation with yourself and then suddenly realized you're a real asshole to yourself?

　　3:08 你是否曾跟自己對(duì)話， 講到后來突然覺得 你干嘛對(duì)自己那么兇?

　　3:15 (Laughter)

　　3:17 Has your phone ever run out of battery in the middle of an argument, and it sort of felt like the phone was breaking up with both of you?

　　3:17 你是否曾經(jīng)在吵架時(shí) 突然手機(jī)沒電， 感覺好像電話 在跟你們兩人分手?

　　3:28 Have you ever thought that working on an issue between you was futile because it should just be easier than this, or this is supposed to happen just naturally? Have you ever realized that very little, in the long run, just happens naturally?

　　3:28 你是否想過 解決你們之間的問題毫無意義， 因?yàn)檎绽碚f不應(yīng)該這么難， 或是這種問題理應(yīng)自然解決? 但回過頭來，你是否發(fā)現(xiàn) 只有極少數(shù)問題自然解決?

　　3:46 Have you ever woken up blissfully and suddenly been flooded by the awful remembrance that someone had left you?

　　3:46 你是否曾開心的醒來， 卻突然涌入難受的回憶， 想起某人已經(jīng)離開你了?

　　3:56 Have you ever lost the ability to imagine a future without a person that no longer was in your life? Have you ever looked back on that event with the sad smile of autumn and the realization that futures will happen regardless?

　　3:56 你是否曾無法想象 你的生命中少了某個(gè)人 未來會(huì)是如何? 你是否曾在回顧過去時(shí) 浮現(xiàn)傷心的一抹微笑， 發(fā)現(xiàn)未來仍有很長(zhǎng)的路 在等著你?

　　4:15 Congratulations. You have now completed the test. You are all human.

　　4:15 恭喜各位。 你們都完成測(cè)試。 大家都是人。

　　4:23 (Applause)